Explicit music lyrics and children, what age is appropriate?
Discussion
I wish to canvas my fellow PHers on a topic many parents will be familiar with..
My 12 year old son likes Eminem and other rap artists. I am 40 and have a couple of Eminems earliest albums along with Public Enemy and others and I don't think I am being unreasonable in suggesting he is too young to be listening to this music as I think some of the topics and more colourful language are inappropriate at his age, even though I am not silly enough to suppose he doesn't know about these things or words...
So... I tell him he can't download his music or buy his CDs until he is older (non specific about said age just yet). However, I am faced with the "All my friends like him, their parents think its ok etc etc". He downloads the music when I am not around, without my permission, knowing how I feel about it and of course has access at home and at friends houses to YouTube, etc. So, clearly I can't stop it, but should I just give up and accept it or ?
I am not happy as I don't think children are mature at 12 and yet I remember when I was young and I liked music which was offensive to my parents, so I understand his need to satisfy his desire to listen to this stuff, even if it makes me unhappy.
What age do other people think is acceptable? And is there a course of action others have taken and what were the outcomes? I don't wish to alienate him but I think he & I could be heading for a falling out soon..
My 12 year old son likes Eminem and other rap artists. I am 40 and have a couple of Eminems earliest albums along with Public Enemy and others and I don't think I am being unreasonable in suggesting he is too young to be listening to this music as I think some of the topics and more colourful language are inappropriate at his age, even though I am not silly enough to suppose he doesn't know about these things or words...
So... I tell him he can't download his music or buy his CDs until he is older (non specific about said age just yet). However, I am faced with the "All my friends like him, their parents think its ok etc etc". He downloads the music when I am not around, without my permission, knowing how I feel about it and of course has access at home and at friends houses to YouTube, etc. So, clearly I can't stop it, but should I just give up and accept it or ?
I am not happy as I don't think children are mature at 12 and yet I remember when I was young and I liked music which was offensive to my parents, so I understand his need to satisfy his desire to listen to this stuff, even if it makes me unhappy.
What age do other people think is acceptable? And is there a course of action others have taken and what were the outcomes? I don't wish to alienate him but I think he & I could be heading for a falling out soon..
You lay down the law, he rebels, develops behavioural problems, gets in trouble at school, gets kicked out, he goes out anyway so you don't find out, a nice guy in the park offers him just a little taste of crack, he gets addicted, social services find out, he gets taken into care, it's a downward spiral from there, he learns how to crack locks and steal cars to fund his crack addiction, soon he's selling his body, he gets AIDS and dies, all by the age of 18. Because you wouldn't let him listen to M and M.
Be a cool dad, download the lyrically safe versions.
Be a cool dad, download the lyrically safe versions.
Hmm, you aren't selling it to me!
I do download the clean versions (trying here!), but he is away at the moment on a week long school trip and I have just discovered he has downloaded a load of the full fat versions to put on his ipod, without my knowledge. Not happy!
I do download the clean versions (trying here!), but he is away at the moment on a week long school trip and I have just discovered he has downloaded a load of the full fat versions to put on his ipod, without my knowledge. Not happy!
Papa Hotel said:
You lay down the law, he rebels, develops behavioural problems, gets in trouble at school, gets kicked out, he goes out anyway so you don't find out, a nice guy in the park offers him just a little taste of crack, he gets addicted, social services find out, he gets taken into care, it's a downward spiral from there, he learns how to crack locks and steal cars to fund his crack addiction, soon he's selling his body, he gets AIDS and dies, all by the age of 18. Because you wouldn't let him listen to M and M.
Be a cool dad, download the lyrically safe versions.
Be a cool dad, download the lyrically safe versions.
When I was 11 I liked listening to Guns n Roses.
I usually chose Use Your Illusions 2.
To date I have never crushed anyones head in my vice. Nor have I kicked anyones b
hy little ass.
Motherfker.
Bring him up in a sensible, decent household and teach him right from wrong and his choice of music isn't going to turn him into a crack dealing, Ho loving pimp master.
I usually chose Use Your Illusions 2.
To date I have never crushed anyones head in my vice. Nor have I kicked anyones b
hy little ass. Motherf
ker. Bring him up in a sensible, decent household and teach him right from wrong and his choice of music isn't going to turn him into a crack dealing, Ho loving pimp master.
GTIR said:
Just let him get on with it.
His mates will be talking about the latest songs and he'll be the one left out.
Just because it has swearing in doesn't mean he'll use it. Unless you eff'n'blind around him of course.
Thanks, well, he is a polite and generally well behaved lad, I think he is clever enough not to go round slitting throats etc, it just seems wrong that we have to let him get on with it.His mates will be talking about the latest songs and he'll be the one left out.
Just because it has swearing in doesn't mean he'll use it. Unless you eff'n'blind around him of course.
If it were a 5 year old playing COD because all their friends were doing it and it would mean him being left out, it would be very wrong in my eyes.
Dan_1981 said:
When I was 11 I liked listening to Guns n Roses.
I usually chose Use Your Illusions 2.
To date I have never crushed anyones head in my vice. Nor have I kicked anyones bhy little ass.
Motherfker.
Bring him up in a sensible, decent household and teach him right from wrong and his choice of music isn't going to turn him into a crack dealing, Ho loving pimp master.
Very good! Yep, I had that album too. I know it doesn't necessarily follow that behaviour mimics the lyrics, I just think it is a shame they grow up so quickly.I usually chose Use Your Illusions 2.
To date I have never crushed anyones head in my vice. Nor have I kicked anyones b
hy little ass. Motherf
ker. Bring him up in a sensible, decent household and teach him right from wrong and his choice of music isn't going to turn him into a crack dealing, Ho loving pimp master.
GTIR said:
Just let him get on with it.
His mates will be talking about the latest songs and he'll be the one left out.
Just because it has swearing in doesn't mean he'll use it. Unless you eff'n'blind around him of course.
Exactly that. A Father's job isn't to stop him from hearing explicit words, but to make sure that he knows that it is inappropriate to use them unless he bashes his thumb with a hammer or discovers he has caught Papa Hotel's AIDS.His mates will be talking about the latest songs and he'll be the one left out.
Just because it has swearing in doesn't mean he'll use it. Unless you eff'n'blind around him of course.
afrochicken said:
Exactly that. A Father's job isn't to stop him from hearing explicit words, but to make sure that he knows that it is inappropriate to use them unless he bashes his thumb with a hammer or discovers he has caught Papa Hotel's AIDS.
Not my AIDS mate, I've never shot my muck in a teenage boy. I mean, even if I had, I don't have AIDS so I'm in the clear on both counts. 
Papa Hotel said:
afrochicken said:
Exactly that. A Father's job isn't to stop him from hearing explicit words, but to make sure that he knows that it is inappropriate to use them unless he bashes his thumb with a hammer or discovers he has caught Papa Hotel's AIDS.
Not my AIDS mate, I've never shot my muck in a teenage boy. I mean, even if I had, I don't have AIDS so I'm in the clear on both counts. swilkins999 said:
So, the real question is, how early is too early for age restricted stuff?
An 18 movie - I can understand 15 year olds watching it, but 12 ? 10? 7? any age?
Whatever you feel comfortable with. You sound simultaneously at the same time a good dad and a big wet lettuce. You seem to have the right idea, just project your authority a bit more. An 18 movie - I can understand 15 year olds watching it, but 12 ? 10? 7? any age?
When he's older, you need to draw the line at unprotected sex with homeless guys though, that'll not help things.
swilkins999 said:
Catweazle said:
To a child there is nothing less cool than the music your parents like, so make a big thing about how much you liked Eminem when you were younger.
Aah - reverse psychology. Liking it!Gassing Station | Music | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff