Entertaining/Funny Car Troubles
Discussion
Had a mk2 golf syncro that would run at 3k rpm when hot due to a faulty waxstat/actuator thingy.
When this happened, I'd turn the ignition off and the engine would run on (or backwards, I never worked that out). To stop it running on I'd stick it in gear, foot on brake and release clutch quickly.
Upon doing this it would release a fu**ing loud misfire which would have anyone near the car looking for a gunman nearby, ducking quickly or having the 'look at that sh*tpiece motor' expression on their face. Managed to nearly give a rather attractive woman a heart attack once when she walked past in a car park. She didn't look impressed.
When driving round town in my CRV with a shot 2nd gear syncro, I'd purposefully keep changing in and out of second to see peoples reactions to the constant grindy crunch. Hilarious stuff.
So folks, your entertaining car troubles if you would...
When this happened, I'd turn the ignition off and the engine would run on (or backwards, I never worked that out). To stop it running on I'd stick it in gear, foot on brake and release clutch quickly.
Upon doing this it would release a fu**ing loud misfire which would have anyone near the car looking for a gunman nearby, ducking quickly or having the 'look at that sh*tpiece motor' expression on their face. Managed to nearly give a rather attractive woman a heart attack once when she walked past in a car park. She didn't look impressed.
When driving round town in my CRV with a shot 2nd gear syncro, I'd purposefully keep changing in and out of second to see peoples reactions to the constant grindy crunch. Hilarious stuff.
So folks, your entertaining car troubles if you would...
2 spring to mind on my Series Landy..
Windscreen wiper arc is related to road speed - go too fast and they go off the sides and bottom of the screen
and
Some sort of earthing fault means that pressing the brake pedal or indicating left causes the foglight warning lamp to flash in imitation of the brakelights/indicators
Windscreen wiper arc is related to road speed - go too fast and they go off the sides and bottom of the screen
and
Some sort of earthing fault means that pressing the brake pedal or indicating left causes the foglight warning lamp to flash in imitation of the brakelights/indicators
My Citroen AX's throttle used to (occasionally) stick open at the halfway point.
The only way to free it was pull over, open the bonnet (little 954cc engine racing) and smack the throttle housing with somthing... usually the jack handle
Looked bad sitting at the traffic lights as if I was reenacting the way a F1 car waits for the lights to go out.
And you can't duck behind the wheel of a Citroen AX and hide when your 6'3" and your head brushes the ceiling
Neal
The only way to free it was pull over, open the bonnet (little 954cc engine racing) and smack the throttle housing with somthing... usually the jack handle
Looked bad sitting at the traffic lights as if I was reenacting the way a F1 car waits for the lights to go out.
And you can't duck behind the wheel of a Citroen AX and hide when your 6'3" and your head brushes the ceiling
Neal
The door lock on my old MG used to jam sometimes, turning the passenger door into one reminiscent of a taxi - when you set off, the doors would single lock automatically, yet when you stopped, the passenger door would unlock. A little while later, the door handle itself also jammed, so occasionally while the taxi door was in service, the door would pop open gently whenever I stopped. Very amusing to cars behind when my missus got used to it and held the door shut while I drove off (the auto lock would somehow engage the door from opening), and when I stopped at the next set of lights, pop went the door closely followed by an irritated arm.
The passenger seat of a friend of mine's Peugeot 106 came off its runners at some point, so whenever the car accelerated or braked, the seat would move forwards or backwards with the inertia. Someone came up with the fantastic game of gluing a stopwatch to the passenger-side dashboard, and seeing how many times you could press the "lap" button in a given distance. I had the privilege of driving the car back once as said friend had had a few pints, watching a slightly inebriated passenger fall around the cabin was highly entertaining.
Somewhat in line with the MG, my VXT used to pop its boot lid automatically quite often as well - most VX220 drivers will know what I'm on about. This would be at completely random intervals and after one instance I got fed up with adjusting the screw and just left it - there was never anything in the "boot" as whatever was in there was usually barbecued by the adjacent engine, and usually too small to bother about anyway. On one journey at ~75mph I noticed that not a single car was overtaking me, and there was traffic bunching up behind me. I was a bit concerned that something had come off the car so pulled over at the next services - only to find that some joker had stuck a Police ribbon to the lip of the boot lid, so when it popped up I was proudly displaying a Police sign and battenbergs to the cars behind me.
Shortly after this incident on another motorway drive, I got flashed by a couple of cars on my way back. I looked in my rear view mirror and could see the boot lid gently flapping while on the move. Only when I got home did I realise that I was being flashed because the mounts on one of my tail light clusters had snapped, and it was dangling behind the car for the entire journey.
The passenger seat of a friend of mine's Peugeot 106 came off its runners at some point, so whenever the car accelerated or braked, the seat would move forwards or backwards with the inertia. Someone came up with the fantastic game of gluing a stopwatch to the passenger-side dashboard, and seeing how many times you could press the "lap" button in a given distance. I had the privilege of driving the car back once as said friend had had a few pints, watching a slightly inebriated passenger fall around the cabin was highly entertaining.
Somewhat in line with the MG, my VXT used to pop its boot lid automatically quite often as well - most VX220 drivers will know what I'm on about. This would be at completely random intervals and after one instance I got fed up with adjusting the screw and just left it - there was never anything in the "boot" as whatever was in there was usually barbecued by the adjacent engine, and usually too small to bother about anyway. On one journey at ~75mph I noticed that not a single car was overtaking me, and there was traffic bunching up behind me. I was a bit concerned that something had come off the car so pulled over at the next services - only to find that some joker had stuck a Police ribbon to the lip of the boot lid, so when it popped up I was proudly displaying a Police sign and battenbergs to the cars behind me.
Shortly after this incident on another motorway drive, I got flashed by a couple of cars on my way back. I looked in my rear view mirror and could see the boot lid gently flapping while on the move. Only when I got home did I realise that I was being flashed because the mounts on one of my tail light clusters had snapped, and it was dangling behind the car for the entire journey.
Used to have a Vauxhall Calibra. One evening I left work and accidentally cut someone up on a roundabout. I waved an apology. The guy followed me and I saw in the rear view mirror he was gesturing at me... I thought he was probably just a bit of a nutter. Rather worryingly, he followed me all the way to my house! I got out the car, he pulled up behind me and got out. I got ready to retaliate if he tried anything.
Turns out he'd noticed that my fuel tank was pissing fuel all over the road every time I accelerated and he just wanted to let me know about it! There was a hole in the tank. Which explained why my fuel economy seemed to have dropped in the previous few weeks...
Turns out he'd noticed that my fuel tank was pissing fuel all over the road every time I accelerated and he just wanted to let me know about it! There was a hole in the tank. Which explained why my fuel economy seemed to have dropped in the previous few weeks...
sebhaque said:
The door lock on my old MG used to jam sometimes, turning the passenger door into one reminiscent of a taxi - when you set off, the doors would single lock automatically, yet when you stopped, the passenger door would unlock. A little while later, the door handle itself also jammed, so occasionally while the taxi door was in service, the door would pop open gently whenever I stopped. Very amusing to cars behind when my missus got used to it and held the door shut while I drove off (the auto lock would somehow engage the door from opening), and when I stopped at the next set of lights, pop went the door closely followed by an irritated arm.
Would have loved to have seen that!Its been covered before, but you can't forget the rear washer nozzle on an old cherokee.
If you disconnect the pipe to the blade, the nozzle points towards whatever is behind you, and its quite a powerful pump. It can be very amusing if you get a tailgater or get bored at traffic lights.
My old but not so old '07 plate Clio would occasionally decide it didn't want it's lights on when you started it up, despite the control being in the ON position.
It also had the habit of the floor mat riding forwards which once got stuck between accelerator and brake leaving me trying to drive a twisty NSL road while reaching into the footwell to pull the mat back. Funny when I look back on it but not at the time
Forgive the bike ingress but the best one was the Harley I had that cut out if you let it either idle too long or just as you added some throttle, rode around for months like that.
It'd sheered it's own ground cable due to the engine vibrations.
It also had the habit of the floor mat riding forwards which once got stuck between accelerator and brake leaving me trying to drive a twisty NSL road while reaching into the footwell to pull the mat back. Funny when I look back on it but not at the time
Forgive the bike ingress but the best one was the Harley I had that cut out if you let it either idle too long or just as you added some throttle, rode around for months like that.
It'd sheered it's own ground cable due to the engine vibrations.
God, there are too many to mention! A couple spring to mind particularly.
My old E30 325 Touring would occasionally lose oil pressure without notice (oil could be at ‘max’ on the dipstick at the start of a journey and a hundred miles later the oil light would come on and there’d be nothing at all showing on the dipstick – then it would happily go for months without using a drop before it happened again). Anyway, driving home in the small hours one night the familiar light flicked on, on a dark and windswept road over Dartmoor, miles from anywhere. I got the oil can out the boot and topped up, not noticing in the dark that a fair bit was missing the filler and running down the engine. Once it reached the very hot exhaust manifold it caught fire, at which point there was light enough to see that I’d spilt A LOT of oil. Wondering how to put it out before the whole car went up in flames I decided the thing to do was to cool down the manifold, thus removing the source of heat. So I threw a bottle of water over it. Water. Oil. Fire. Not a great mix – unless you want to create a mini fireball, that is. Once the purple dots had stopped swimming in my vision I realised that it’d worked, though, so I shut the bonnet and drove the last 2 hours home. The car never skipped a beat, in fact sounding better than ever. When I checked it over next day I found that all of the under-bonnet sound deadening material had been melted off! Great car.
By contrast my old Alfasud didn’t need my stupidity to be a health hazard. Apart from the windscreen wipers that refused to work for 4 months before suddenly reanimating (and refusing to turn off) in the middle of a long dry spell, I frequently found myself disconnecting the battery – which was the only way to turn the headlights off – while standing in an ever-expanding pool of petrol from the perforated fuel tank.
Ahhh, happy days...
My old E30 325 Touring would occasionally lose oil pressure without notice (oil could be at ‘max’ on the dipstick at the start of a journey and a hundred miles later the oil light would come on and there’d be nothing at all showing on the dipstick – then it would happily go for months without using a drop before it happened again). Anyway, driving home in the small hours one night the familiar light flicked on, on a dark and windswept road over Dartmoor, miles from anywhere. I got the oil can out the boot and topped up, not noticing in the dark that a fair bit was missing the filler and running down the engine. Once it reached the very hot exhaust manifold it caught fire, at which point there was light enough to see that I’d spilt A LOT of oil. Wondering how to put it out before the whole car went up in flames I decided the thing to do was to cool down the manifold, thus removing the source of heat. So I threw a bottle of water over it. Water. Oil. Fire. Not a great mix – unless you want to create a mini fireball, that is. Once the purple dots had stopped swimming in my vision I realised that it’d worked, though, so I shut the bonnet and drove the last 2 hours home. The car never skipped a beat, in fact sounding better than ever. When I checked it over next day I found that all of the under-bonnet sound deadening material had been melted off! Great car.
By contrast my old Alfasud didn’t need my stupidity to be a health hazard. Apart from the windscreen wipers that refused to work for 4 months before suddenly reanimating (and refusing to turn off) in the middle of a long dry spell, I frequently found myself disconnecting the battery – which was the only way to turn the headlights off – while standing in an ever-expanding pool of petrol from the perforated fuel tank.
Ahhh, happy days...
Owned an XR3 with a dodgy starter motor, starting routine invoved a piece of wood and a hammer.
Old Alfa GTV, lost second gear synchro, so gear changes were always 1st to 3rd (with lots of rev's in 1st). When I got a better car it took me ages to get used to having a second gear.
X1/9 with italian electrics. Pop up head lamps would get out of sync. Putting your lights on involved various states of one up and one down, or doing a mexican wave.
Old Alfa GTV, lost second gear synchro, so gear changes were always 1st to 3rd (with lots of rev's in 1st). When I got a better car it took me ages to get used to having a second gear.
X1/9 with italian electrics. Pop up head lamps would get out of sync. Putting your lights on involved various states of one up and one down, or doing a mexican wave.
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