My Discovery is 19' wide.

[eldar]

No it fking isn't, except in your pea like brain. Yes, it is a narrow road, yes this funny fking lay bye is labelled passing place and yes I'm parked in it.

The idea is we pass, you spavined apology for a pretentious country squire. You aren't in fking Cheshire now you donkeys penile offcut.

I can understand you don't want to soil your luscious 57 reg discovery by putting a wheel within two feet of a blade of grass, but I'm not reversing half a bleeding mile because you can't get you 6 foot car through a 10 foot gap.

I did not feel that the nice man that offered to drive your car through the tiny gap was insulting you excessively, even if he did call you a fkwit. You clearly were, are and forever will be a fkwit of the first order.

I shall, as promised, write to Cumbria County Council, and request they change the signs to 'No HGV, caravans, wide vehicles or fkwits.'

But I do agree, I am rude, but only when confronted with divots that have a masters degree in fkwittery and a grade F GCSE in ability.

PS your wife looked like a constipated toad, except when she laughed.

[essexplumber]

7/10
Lots of venom and insult variation but lacking in swear words.

[carreauchompeur]

I'm going to go for a solid 7/10 myself. Lacks the bile-spitting machine gunned insults of other rants but with a solid theme of angry disbelief.

[David87]

Okay, is that an exaggeration or did someone actually claim their Discovery 3 to be nineteen feet wide?

[kamilb1998]

7/10.

Not enough swearing.

[Oily Nails]

Having been born and raised in Cumbria I can foresee an issue with this statement:

"write to Cumbria County Council, and request they change the signs to 'No HGV, caravans, wide vehicles or fkwits."

As Cumbria County Council is actually the primordial ooze at the bottom of the barrel from which Fkwits are spawned.....

[matchmaker]

I'll give it 8/10. Been there many times. If you can't judge the width of your fking car, get off the fking road you fkwit. Memo to fkwit. I drive a fking Transit minibus. It has covered 200,000 miles and weighs 3.5 tonnes fully laden. You will move for me.

[C8H18Head]

7/10. Too many details given which detracted from your thrust. One point lost through unimaginative swearing. Not sure "luscious" is apt for a Discovery, however intended. Good finale with colourful academic references, self-deprecation and colourful image of a constipated toad. NB Photo would have been superb in this age of digital phones.

[ruff'n'smov]

8.5/10 Having lived in Cumbria for a number of years...no gladly back in Gods own land I concur the level fkwittery is amazingly high.

[anonymous-user]

Ah this would be the same class of fkwit who sees a Ford Transit go through a 6'6" width restriction and then proceeds to crawl through it at 0.1 mph in their much smaller fiesta

8/10 for your rant

[eldar]

David87 said:

Okay, is that an exaggeration or did someone actually claim their Discovery 3 to be nineteen feet wide?

Not exactly, but the claim that gap was far too narrow led me to believe the driver measured distance with his massive 2 foot dick.

[GoneAnon]

Given that passing places are NOT lay-byes and are not there for anyone to park in, I find in favour of the fk-wit.

[eldar]

GoneAnon said:

Given that passing places are NOT lay-byes and are not there for anyone to park in, I find in favour of the fk-wit.

Do you drive a 57 reg discovery. Perhaps one of the numb nuts that avoids the lay byes and just stops in the narrow bits, blocking the road completely with an impressively foppish wrist action?

If so, I fart in your general direction.

[AdeTuono]

8/10 for the addition of 'donkey's penile offcut' comment, otherwise 7/10.

[GoneAnon]

eldar said:

GoneAnon said:

Given that passing places are NOT lay-byes and are not there for anyone to park in, I find in favour of the fk-wit.

Do you drive a 57 reg discovery. Perhaps one of the numb nuts that avoids the lay byes and just stops in the narrow bits, blocking the road completely with an impressively foppish wrist action?

If so, I fart in your general direction.

No,I drive a car that meets my needs, and I have no need to bump over kerbs in Tesco car park, or bouncing around off-road. I simply know how to use a road that is fitted with passing places, and have been frustrated by those who don't, often stopping to get some snaps for the photo album or to have a picnic.

[gtdc]

9/10, mainly for the donkey and because I feel your pain.

[GoneAnon]

You might find this useful for next time, helping to avoid finding yourself in the wrong and berating someone who actually knows how to drive the road:

http://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/usfeatures/s...

[IroningMan]

I think you may have missed the point. A bit.

[GoneAnon]

Nope, aholes parked in Passing Places effectively make these roads impassable. Whether the fkwit can get through the gap or not is secondary.

[carmadgaz]

GoneAnon said:

Nope, aholes parked in Passing Places effectively make these roads impassable. Whether the fkwit can get through the gap or not is secondary.

Agreed you shouldn't park in a PP BUT his point is still valid. What if he hadn't been parked there and had just pulled in to let the car pass in the opposite direction, would that still of made the road "effectively impassable"?

Used to love driving the works van (especially the LWB Hi-top Sprinter with glass rack on the side ) through the little lanes around here, the looks on peoples faces as I continued when they thought the gap was too tight