Settling nervy rescue cats
Discussion
After a number (7 to be precise) of years without cats and after my Mum passed away last year, my sister and I thought it would be good for my Dad to get a couple of cats. Living on his own and having to take care of my handicapped brother we thought it would be a boost & a bit of company. He loves the fuzzy little critters (as do I).
My sister arranged for him to get two rescue cats from the same shelter that she got her semi feral cats from. They are not sisters but almost identical ages (about 4 months old when he got them) and were housed together so they were used to each other.
He has had them since about September this year and they are both still massively nervous. We housed them in the conservatory so they had their own space etc with plenty of toys, beds, litter trays, climbing poles etc and during the day they are let out to go round the house although the doors to the bedrooms remain firmly shut whereas our old cats had the run of the entire house. They will not let you approach them and run a mile if you go towards them but one of them (Ishtar) will eventually climb up onto your lap and will take all manners of scratching, tummy rubs etc. The other, Venus, still acts like she has never met you before and will not stay anywhere near you. She would rather run and hide than go anywhere near you.
Naturally I knew there would be a settling in period but it almost feels like they havent settled one little bit.
My Dad is getting increasingly frustrated about this and I have tried to explain that they are different cats to our old ones so they wont be the same, however after 4 months you would expect to be able to pat them on the head surely? He thinks the rescue lady has palmed off some wild feral cats to him & sometimes acts like he has regretted getting them.
Does anyone have any experience or advise they can impart?
L-R Venus & Ishtar
My sister arranged for him to get two rescue cats from the same shelter that she got her semi feral cats from. They are not sisters but almost identical ages (about 4 months old when he got them) and were housed together so they were used to each other.
He has had them since about September this year and they are both still massively nervous. We housed them in the conservatory so they had their own space etc with plenty of toys, beds, litter trays, climbing poles etc and during the day they are let out to go round the house although the doors to the bedrooms remain firmly shut whereas our old cats had the run of the entire house. They will not let you approach them and run a mile if you go towards them but one of them (Ishtar) will eventually climb up onto your lap and will take all manners of scratching, tummy rubs etc. The other, Venus, still acts like she has never met you before and will not stay anywhere near you. She would rather run and hide than go anywhere near you.
Naturally I knew there would be a settling in period but it almost feels like they havent settled one little bit.
My Dad is getting increasingly frustrated about this and I have tried to explain that they are different cats to our old ones so they wont be the same, however after 4 months you would expect to be able to pat them on the head surely? He thinks the rescue lady has palmed off some wild feral cats to him & sometimes acts like he has regretted getting them.
Does anyone have any experience or advise they can impart?
L-R Venus & Ishtar
I think some cats are just like that. I've had my rescue cat about 8 years; with me she is usually non-committal apart from when hungry, but has friendly moments. Hates being picked up. Visitors are either ignored or, if they try to make a fuss of her, she just runs away. In fact she looks very much like yours on the left. Not every cat is an extrovert, so I think your father will just have to regard them as 'independent'.
I am afraid some cats are not "people" cats. You can get cat nip and so on and give it to them whilst you are around, also offer lots of tid bits whilst you are near them. And if the cat doesn't like to be approached, just ignore her. IN fact, I'd say just ignore them most of the time and when they come to you given them treats...
Just let the cat be itself. If it wants a tickle, it will come to you, if not, just let it be over there and anti-social. Smudge is a bit of an old bugger. Doesn't play, but will come for tickles in the morning, and at night. The rest of the time she will be out, or asleep on her chair.
Whitey, on the other hand loves to play, will happily sit on you 24/7 getting scratched, and will follow you round, and meow away at you.
Like people, they have different personalities... Don't bother trying to change that.
Whitey, on the other hand loves to play, will happily sit on you 24/7 getting scratched, and will follow you round, and meow away at you.
Like people, they have different personalities... Don't bother trying to change that.
Thanks for the replies guys.
I was just a little worried they don't feel secure or happy and there might be something we can do for them just to help them ease up a little (Feliway etc)
Yeh I know some cats aren't "people" cats & I think my Dad will have to realise that & like any cat owners accept you approach them on their (the cats) terms hehe
I was just a little worried they don't feel secure or happy and there might be something we can do for them just to help them ease up a little (Feliway etc)
Yeh I know some cats aren't "people" cats & I think my Dad will have to realise that & like any cat owners accept you approach them on their (the cats) terms hehe
We've had our two (brother & sister) since they were about 8 weeks old.
Lily cannot abide being picked up & isn't overly keen on being fussed.
Louis demands to be picked up & cuddled first thing in the morning (probably making sure the staff are awake) but isn't keen thereafter.
Neither will sit on your lap.
Both will sit on the floor in the lounge in the evening, stare at you & meow until you play with them. After getting bored with your best efforts they will wander off & wait until you've settled before starting the process all over again. This goes on until around 10.30 at which point they take themselves off to bed.
Lily cannot abide being picked up & isn't overly keen on being fussed.
Louis demands to be picked up & cuddled first thing in the morning (probably making sure the staff are awake) but isn't keen thereafter.
Neither will sit on your lap.
Both will sit on the floor in the lounge in the evening, stare at you & meow until you play with them. After getting bored with your best efforts they will wander off & wait until you've settled before starting the process all over again. This goes on until around 10.30 at which point they take themselves off to bed.
I think it might be worth to get a plug in feliway diffuser?
I'm sure that would help somewhat with relaxing them both.
http://www.feliway.com/gb
I'm sure that would help somewhat with relaxing them both.
http://www.feliway.com/gb
LOL paintman ... yes our previous girls (Indiana Jones & Pegerty) were the polar opposites of these two which I think my Dad is finding hard to adjust to no matter what we say! Indy would chat her head off to you and had the biggest character I have ever seen in a cat but Peg really was very slinky & flinched at touch until (as sick as it sounds) Indy died. After that she sort of came in to her own!
I might just give that Feliway a go in their little domain.
My sisters semi feral cats even relented and realised these peasants that dished out sloppy cat food now & then might be worth a go and now you can pick one of them up! I'm sure these two fluffy beggars will come right
I might just give that Feliway a go in their little domain.
My sisters semi feral cats even relented and realised these peasants that dished out sloppy cat food now & then might be worth a go and now you can pick one of them up! I'm sure these two fluffy beggars will come right
I'd say give it time - plenty of time. We got two just over a year ago, admittedly neither were as nervous as you describe and both are adult cats, but the younger of ours was very flighty and spent most of her days hiding under our bed. That lasted probably the better part of a couple of months, gradually she spent less and less time under there and now she's much more settled and sociable.
She's still getting more and more confident as time goes on so it may just be a long process for yours.
She's still getting more and more confident as time goes on so it may just be a long process for yours.
One of our rescue cats hid under the bed in the spare room for three days, we only knew he was there because the food was going and the litter tray needed emptying. We put a borrowed puppy kennel/cage downstairs near where we sit and put him in there to make him get used to us. That worked after a week (as did treats fed through the cage), did not keep him in there all the time though, just so he had to confront humans.
Well after having Venus go literally batsh*t crazy at me yesterday (I hurriedly went in to a bathroom without realising she was there and in the short time I was there she went utter ballistic, running up the walls & hissing at me!) they have both been very cute rolling about chasing many rolled up balls of sweet wrappers, and even Venus got up on the arm of a chair next to an actual living breathing human being! Its progress of sorts 
Ok so the girls have finally been allowed out and Venus does a disappearing act for hours until she wants to come back to a nice warm comfy conservatory.
In a twisted way I'm hoping she'll love being outside so much that her nervousness about being indoors and around people will settle a little.
In a twisted way I'm hoping she'll love being outside so much that her nervousness about being indoors and around people will settle a little.
We got two rescue kittens when they were about 3 months old. We basically let them get on with being them. It's interesting how they turned out. The one that was very stand-offish turned out to be very loving and follows you around while the other which was the more tactile to start with has grown to become the more solitary and will happily spend all day wherever you are not, unless food is involved of course.
They're both still very wary of strangers and I can't see that changing tbh.
They're both still very wary of strangers and I can't see that changing tbh.
Any strangers or even family, our cat pegs it upstairs and under the bed in no time at all! Ours is 4 and has always been nervous but she he matured abit now and chilled out more. Don't know how she'd react to introducing another to her though (tried that before, did t go down well). But anyway, before she used to at night sleep in the other room alone but now, you even tell her 'bedtime tinks' and she races upstairs and plonks herself on the bed then before long she'll position herself on top of your belly!
We got ours from CPL and were advised that they would be fine with us but may well always be nervy around others, we got them at 4 months old.
Chase - Has always been fine with me and the OH, loves cuddles and sitting on my lap, will always be about wanting a stroke or some attention and is very much a lap cat
Status - Has always liked the OH, did not like me for a long long time, I couldn't stroke her pick her up or anything. I found it quite upsetting as I thought she was unhappy. In the end decided that I would just leave her be and stop trying so hard. Now 1 year on she is a lot better, will come and say hi, allow me to stroke her for a short time. She still prefers the OH (will curl up on her lap etc) but she is just more independant
Neither of them particularly like visitors though, they will generally run off to a bedroom, coming down a couple of hours later and sniffing the visitors out
Chase - Has always been fine with me and the OH, loves cuddles and sitting on my lap, will always be about wanting a stroke or some attention and is very much a lap cat
Status - Has always liked the OH, did not like me for a long long time, I couldn't stroke her pick her up or anything. I found it quite upsetting as I thought she was unhappy. In the end decided that I would just leave her be and stop trying so hard. Now 1 year on she is a lot better, will come and say hi, allow me to stroke her for a short time. She still prefers the OH (will curl up on her lap etc) but she is just more independant
Neither of them particularly like visitors though, they will generally run off to a bedroom, coming down a couple of hours later and sniffing the visitors out
LOL One of our old cats was named Indiana Jones because she was always off exploring and getting in to mischief
Well Venus sods off for 8 hours at a time and comes back scattier than ever so we are limiting her time outside, as a treat almost to try and reinforce that this is home.
We all have an underlying feeling though that one day she'll do a Elsa the Lion and do a "Borrrrrn Freeeeeeee...." & trot off in to one of the many fields or woods nearby
Well Venus sods off for 8 hours at a time and comes back scattier than ever so we are limiting her time outside, as a treat almost to try and reinforce that this is home.
We all have an underlying feeling though that one day she'll do a Elsa the Lion and do a "Borrrrrn Freeeeeeee...." & trot off in to one of the many fields or woods nearby
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