Well, I'm just a big girls blouse...
Well, I'm just a big girls blouse...
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Mobsta

Original Poster:

5,614 posts

284 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
We used to say grace before each meal.

I have something in mind for Boxing Day. I'm not religious, mind. But I'd like to bless the food of my girlfriends family on Boxing Day. There will be more than a dozen of us at the table, and they aren't religious either. So It'll be a nice surprise for us all.

The trouble is, despite having spent the last 10 minutes practising blessing an invisible food and preparing my speech, I still can't stop laughing. I was Hoping to surprise them all with my favourite lines (below) but I just can't keep a straight face, even in practise...

Dear Lord,
Rub a dub dub
Thanks for the grub
Amen

The kids have never said grace, I hoped to create an air of solemnness but I fear I can't, without laughing.

Tips gratefully received. I can already feel myself bailing out due to self inflicted pressure...

FFSport

425 posts

167 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
Say it while you think of her Grandma's saggy chebs... should get through it with a straight or slightly horrified look? I'm sure you will bh slap saying grace... do you take bookings?

Mobsta

Original Poster:

5,614 posts

284 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
FFSport said:
Say it while you think of her Grandma's saggy chebs... should get through it with a straight or slightly horrified look? I'm sure you will bh slap saying grace... do you take bookings?
Funny you should mention my grandmother, as she was deeply religious, and died on December 21st, of this year. Ie a few days ago.
Yes, really. Her blood is only cold, as she is in a refrigerator in Africa. And you mock her already hehe

GFs family know of my loss and sadness. I could use her passing as leverage when it comes to getting them all to close their eyes.

My fear is in getting a bunch of alpha males to hold hands and close their eyes at their food, rather than eating it. I can deliver the lines ok thumbup

With no offence to those who still say grace smile

GrumpyTwig

3,354 posts

186 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
I'd suggest making a point of 'Mr Belvedere'ing yourself just prior to saying grace.

DukeDickson

4,964 posts

242 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
If not religious, being solemn (in that sense) is going to be a world of fail.
Just give some praise for the migrants & less lucky who got you there & move on to the alleged fun stuff.

Or, a sliver of fk the poor (as befits us, in this place)/praise Jack & Ken & some milkmen (odd merkins) smile

Boozy

2,427 posts

248 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
If you're not religious then why bless the food? Just say I'd like to say thanks and crack on with your ditty.

FFSport

425 posts

167 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
Mobsta said:
Funny you should mention my grandmother, as she was deeply religious, and died on December 21st, of this year. Ie a few days ago.
Yes, really. Her blood is only cold, as she is in a refrigerator in Africa. And you mock her already hehe

GFs family know of my loss and sadness. I could use her passing as leverage when it comes to getting them all to close their eyes.

My fear is in getting a bunch of alpha males to hold hands and close their eyes at their food, rather than eating it. I can deliver the lines ok thumbup

With no offence to those who still say grace smile
You said your going to your girlfriends family right? Thinking of your own? That's just sick rolleyes Sorry for your loss. Or what you could actually do is make them all close their eyes and then you just start to tuck in, When they all open them again just laugh.

Mobsta

Original Poster:

5,614 posts

284 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
Boozy said:
If you're not religious then why bless the food? Just say I'd like to say thanks and crack on with your ditty.
The joke being that they believe some of my family are religious, but not everyone will twig that I am not. I liked the idea of a dozen unbelieving heads bowing towards their food, before I take the mickey and read out the actual lines I posted above, nothing more.

This will go wrong. The omen of misunderstanding is ready upon me hehe

What are you lot doing awake at this time anyway, filling stockings?
Merry early Christmas morning smile

Mobsta

Original Poster:

5,614 posts

284 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
FFSport said:
You said your going to your girlfriends family right? Thinking of your own? That's just sick rolleyes
Not sure I follow. My immediate family are on 4 continents. Detonated fragmentation grenade fragments are closer. Unable to fly due to an ear infection, should I be doing something differently?

Boozy

2,427 posts

248 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
Mobsta said:
The joke being that they believe some of my family are religious, but not everyone will twig that I am not. I liked the idea of a dozen unbelieving heads bowing towards their food, before I take the mickey and read out the actual lines I posted above, nothing more.

This will go wrong. The omen of misunderstanding is ready upon me hehe

What are you lot doing awake at this time anyway, filling stockings?
Merry early Christmas morning smile
I'm living in the US so was placing presents under the tree! If it's all harmless fun and won't offend anyone crack on. Merry Christmas chap.

Pints

18,451 posts

223 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
Just fire off:
"Vir spys en drank
sê ons dank
Amen"

smile

The rest of you needn't worry. Mobsta will get it.

Mobsta

Original Poster:

5,614 posts

284 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
Pints said:
Just fire off:
"Vir spys en drank
sê ons dank
Amen"

smile

The rest of you needn't worry. Mobsta will get it.
No you fool, im trying to offend them, or at least get them to bow their heads into a bowl of food they probably aren't grateful for...

U ondersteuning word waardeer, however thumbup

Pints

18,451 posts

223 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
Mobsta said:
No you fool, im trying to offend them, or at least get them to bow their heads into a bowl of food they probably aren't grateful for...

U ondersteuning word waardeer, however thumbup
“Dear God, we paid for all this stuff ourselves. So thanks for nothing.”
Bart Simpson

PJ S

10,842 posts

256 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
Pints said:
Just fire off:
"Vir spys en drank
sê ons dank
Amen"

smile

The rest of you needn't worry. Mobsta will get it.
Google translate comes in handy....hehe

sgrimshaw

7,584 posts

279 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
I like the Clint Eastwood one (can't remember the name of the film)

Good bread, good meat
Good god, let's eat.

NightRunner

12,423 posts

223 months

Tuesday 25th December 2012
quotequote all
We tend to be very traditional, at most meals/functions there tends to be grace and a toast to the queen.

When it's a more formal function (when there are >30ppl) the 1st verse of the national anthem gets aired.

There are a mix of religious/non-religious, grace is more about being generally thankful rather than godly, if you get me.


m8rky

2,090 posts

188 months

Wednesday 26th December 2012
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Mobsta

Original Poster:

5,614 posts

284 months

Wednesday 26th December 2012
quotequote all
I'm with nightrunnner. I've heard a range of graces and believe a little more though should go into being grateful or at least acknowledging good health, or where the food came from, but unfortunately grace will always be attached to one religion o other.

m8rky said:
I'm banned from the lounge. And presumably lounge topics, so I simply can't say! wink if I ever become unbanned, I'll post a full list smile perhaps you could relay the message back to the lounge, I'm not ignoring anyone over there, honest...

m8rky

2,090 posts

188 months

Wednesday 26th December 2012
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Ah ok will do.

Slink

2,947 posts

201 months

Wednesday 26th December 2012
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What did you get banned for man? an if its a permaban thats a bit unfair as i love your random topics.

Think we shouls start a petition to get you unbanned!