Tallest tales - lies you've heard about cars
Discussion
We all know that guy at work/neighbour or who ever who likes to tell porkies. I'm not entirely sure about the psychology behind it, either they're compulsive liars or they're trying to impress you, probably both.
I've had these 2 in the past few months.
1) A chap at work has a JDM Mitsubishi GTO, and he's told me and a few others its twin supercharged running 800bhp. (A quick search reveals its a n/a auto!) He's told us tales about racing his mates impreza and doing 190mph down the motorway. Apparently its faster than a Bugatti Veyron too!
2) Another guy at work who I give a lift too, now he lies about everything so when he told me this little gem I couldn't help but laugh at him. He told me how he used to have a Clio V8. Not a V6, a V8! So the story goes it was out of an army vehicle because his mate was in the military and got hold of it for him. When I asked him about what exactly it was from he started mumbling something about not remembering what it was out of.
Any other nuggets of gold out there from these bs spouters?
I've had these 2 in the past few months.
1) A chap at work has a JDM Mitsubishi GTO, and he's told me and a few others its twin supercharged running 800bhp. (A quick search reveals its a n/a auto!) He's told us tales about racing his mates impreza and doing 190mph down the motorway. Apparently its faster than a Bugatti Veyron too!
2) Another guy at work who I give a lift too, now he lies about everything so when he told me this little gem I couldn't help but laugh at him. He told me how he used to have a Clio V8. Not a V6, a V8! So the story goes it was out of an army vehicle because his mate was in the military and got hold of it for him. When I asked him about what exactly it was from he started mumbling something about not remembering what it was out of.
Any other nuggets of gold out there from these bs spouters?
Garett said:
We all know that guy at work/neighbour or who ever who likes to tell porkies. I'm not entirely sure about the psychology behind it, either they're compulsive liars or they're trying to impress you, probably both.
I've had these 2 in the past few months.
1) A chap at work has a JDM Mitsubishi GTO, and he's told me and a few others its twin supercharged running 800bhp. (A quick search reveals its a n/a auto!) He's told us tales about racing his mates impreza and doing 190mph down the motorway. Apparently its faster than a Bugatti Veyron too!
2) Another guy at work who I give a lift too, now he lies about everything so when he told me this little gem I couldn't help but laugh at him. He told me how he used to have a Clio V8. Not a V6, a V8! So the story goes it was out of an army vehicle because his mate was in the military and got hold of it for him. When I asked him about what exactly it was from he started mumbling something about not remembering what it was out of.
Any other nuggets of gold out there from these bs spouters?
I don't know what's more worrying, the fact that people make such horrendous lies, or that you seem to work with them?I've had these 2 in the past few months.
1) A chap at work has a JDM Mitsubishi GTO, and he's told me and a few others its twin supercharged running 800bhp. (A quick search reveals its a n/a auto!) He's told us tales about racing his mates impreza and doing 190mph down the motorway. Apparently its faster than a Bugatti Veyron too!
2) Another guy at work who I give a lift too, now he lies about everything so when he told me this little gem I couldn't help but laugh at him. He told me how he used to have a Clio V8. Not a V6, a V8! So the story goes it was out of an army vehicle because his mate was in the military and got hold of it for him. When I asked him about what exactly it was from he started mumbling something about not remembering what it was out of.
Any other nuggets of gold out there from these bs spouters?
What is it you do again????


A man I work with told me he had a blow out on the bypass and was stranded etc... then told me the tyres for his Peugeot 308 would cost about £250 each and he had to do an axle pair (this bit is fair enough, I know people do).
When I questioned the price of the tyres and asked what size they were as that seemed utterly ludicrous, he told me they were that expensive because they were Lamborghini style wheels?? What??
When I next saw the car I glanced over to see the standard 17" (I think) 308 wheels. Brilliant.
When I questioned the price of the tyres and asked what size they were as that seemed utterly ludicrous, he told me they were that expensive because they were Lamborghini style wheels?? What??
When I next saw the car I glanced over to see the standard 17" (I think) 308 wheels. Brilliant.
doogz said:
Security loser at ASDA I worked at as a student.
"I've got a Escort RS turbo with a cosworth engine and it's 4WD. It's pure minted, me and ma uncle built a rollcage for it from scaffy bars. Pure brutal torque cos it's 8V. Na, I can't bring it to work, it's a ringer. I just take it out at night round ma bit and street race in it"
At this point he actually held his hands out as if he was steering a car and changing gear, and in the middle of the foyer in the middle of the day starting going "BBBRRRRRRRR, TSSSSHHH!"
He was 17. He lasted a week.
"I've got a Escort RS turbo with a cosworth engine and it's 4WD. It's pure minted, me and ma uncle built a rollcage for it from scaffy bars. Pure brutal torque cos it's 8V. Na, I can't bring it to work, it's a ringer. I just take it out at night round ma bit and street race in it"
At this point he actually held his hands out as if he was steering a car and changing gear, and in the middle of the foyer in the middle of the day starting going "BBBRRRRRRRR, TSSSSHHH!"
He was 17. He lasted a week.

Awww, I like one!
Can't help feeling a tad sorry for the lad though.
Back in primary school a friend of mine (this could be a little harsh in hindsight...) idolised his Dad, he didn't see him much because his parents had divorced and as such, numerous 'My Dad!' stories came out.
We're talking one day and with me being so obsessed with cars, typical playground oneupmanship began. At the time my Dad had a white E32 730i which I thought was the dogs, remote controlled Kenwood CD Player and everything! I was going on about how fast BMWs were when this lad turns around and is adamant that his Dad's car was faster. "It'll do 300mph!" he says, I told him that wasn't possible as the fastest car in the world could only do 240mph! "No, no, it does, it says it on the speedo." That must be kilometers per hour! "Nope, it's definitely miles per hour! It has a V6." At this point I gave up, my mind was blown.
Speaking to my Dad about it the following day he just laughed, was impressed that I knew what km/h was and told me to let him know if I ever found out what the car was. Weekend finished and I begin another week at school. Walking to the gates at the end of the day aforementioned friend comes running up to me "My Dad's picking me up in his car! Come and see it!" I was almost excited as he was... until I saw the car.
Metallic Red Ford Probe... Two white stripes down the middle of it, numerous aftermarket stickers down either wing, chrome wheels that were ghastly and a massive pie rack on the boot.
This boy had been telling me that his Dads Ford Probe could do 300mph.
A Ford. Probe.
We're talking one day and with me being so obsessed with cars, typical playground oneupmanship began. At the time my Dad had a white E32 730i which I thought was the dogs, remote controlled Kenwood CD Player and everything! I was going on about how fast BMWs were when this lad turns around and is adamant that his Dad's car was faster. "It'll do 300mph!" he says, I told him that wasn't possible as the fastest car in the world could only do 240mph! "No, no, it does, it says it on the speedo." That must be kilometers per hour! "Nope, it's definitely miles per hour! It has a V6." At this point I gave up, my mind was blown.
Speaking to my Dad about it the following day he just laughed, was impressed that I knew what km/h was and told me to let him know if I ever found out what the car was. Weekend finished and I begin another week at school. Walking to the gates at the end of the day aforementioned friend comes running up to me "My Dad's picking me up in his car! Come and see it!" I was almost excited as he was... until I saw the car.
Metallic Red Ford Probe... Two white stripes down the middle of it, numerous aftermarket stickers down either wing, chrome wheels that were ghastly and a massive pie rack on the boot.
This boy had been telling me that his Dads Ford Probe could do 300mph.
A Ford. Probe.
Lad I know has an early (2005/6) V8 Vantage and has had an aftermarket exhaust and chip fitted. When asked how much power it has he said it comes standard with 520bhp but with the exhaust and chip his is running 760bhp. I didn't feel like telling him to look on the internet at the power specs of the 4.3l V8 and that no way on earth would an NA engine achieve such a power hike from an exhaust and chip.
I met a guy whos Volvo 340 (1.4 engine) could apparently do 0-60 in 8 seconds.
Another aquaintance had a beat-up astra mk2 16v that would hit 150mph on the straight at Knockhill (my friend told him that he must have been looking at the clock and it was ten to 2...).
A Wolsley 1500 with twin cabs and a ported head that would do 130mph.
The worst was a chap at my work who found out that I competed in rallies "Oh yes, I used to drive in loads of rallies - I had a Mini that would do 150mph". When I pointed out that must have been geared completely wrong for rallying (not mentioning how much power a mini would need to hit 150), he told me "we used to change between different ratio back axles for road and rally use".
Another aquaintance had a beat-up astra mk2 16v that would hit 150mph on the straight at Knockhill (my friend told him that he must have been looking at the clock and it was ten to 2...).
A Wolsley 1500 with twin cabs and a ported head that would do 130mph.
The worst was a chap at my work who found out that I competed in rallies "Oh yes, I used to drive in loads of rallies - I had a Mini that would do 150mph". When I pointed out that must have been geared completely wrong for rallying (not mentioning how much power a mini would need to hit 150), he told me "we used to change between different ratio back axles for road and rally use".
About ten years ago a mate smashed his Cav SRI up, he told me he'd been doing 130 through our village before hitting a telegraph pole, now yes he hit the pole but 130, forgetting that its a 30 mph limit I'd say his Cav would have struggled to to 50 past the kink by the shops, I'm being generous there, also it was faster than anything else on the road......
I meet a bloke once who looked at my car, at the time a 3 year old Nissan 200sx and said, ' that looks quick but my old Lotus Cortina would have it for breakfast' really, a 60s cortina with a roadtested speed of 109 mph, now I'm not knocking the Cortina, its a truly awesome classic, but out running a Nissan 200, can't see it.
I meet a bloke once who looked at my car, at the time a 3 year old Nissan 200sx and said, ' that looks quick but my old Lotus Cortina would have it for breakfast' really, a 60s cortina with a roadtested speed of 109 mph, now I'm not knocking the Cortina, its a truly awesome classic, but out running a Nissan 200, can't see it.
chap i worked was a total fantasist just ike his dad . a mate of his had a moddified nissan gtir that was so good mclaren bought it off him .
same guy , i had a copy of Car magazine on my desk . he spots this and tes me his mate has two of them , the magazine had flown out to germany to drive a pre production car.
same guy , i had a copy of Car magazine on my desk . he spots this and tes me his mate has two of them , the magazine had flown out to germany to drive a pre production car.
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