Discussion
I was thinking of posting this under a new username, but to hell with it, I may as well be up front about it.
I am going to book myself an appointment with my GP as I believe I am suffering with depression.
For a long time now, I always felt like I have been mildly depressed, quite possibly since my late teenage years (coming up to 34 this year); I've always suspected it because I've never quite felt what I imagine to be as happy as what your average person feels.
Examples: I go to comedies but I rarely laugh unless I am very drunk and / or exceptionally happy. If something good happened to me, I was rarely that enthused about it. I honestly think if I won the lottery jackpot I'd only be mildly happy about it. I have also suffered with anxiety and low self esteem (feeling that I'm no good), and have had the odd panic attack.
I have managed to keep a lid on it for the most part, and put up with it for many years. I've always felt like going to the doctors or even just talking about it to anyone was just too difficult, or I felt I wouldn't be taken seriously.
However, in the last year or 18 months, I feel things have taken a turn for the worse. Much worse. It was at almost exactly this time last year, I was made redundant from my last job. Before it happened I felt like I wouldn't be that bothered, but it hit me so much harder than I really expected. I walked out after being told, went to the pub, and drank about 8 pints in about 30 minutes, before staggering around town for a while (luckily my mate was looking after me), absolutely distraught.
It did come with a silver lining, as the redundancy money paid off debts, and I managed to get another job (albeit temporary) which I am still doing now on better money, but I don't feel like I deserve it.
However, despite that, things just seem to have gone downhill. I ended up buying a car, which was in my mind, a sensible(ish) buy, but unfortunately for me it turned into a complete money pit, cost me £2K and then I sold it at a loss when I could barely look at it any more (in fact, its probably been very well documented on here).
My head was all over the place again after this, now I had debt again after being so close to having none at all. That was when I got my 350Z, and more debt, because my confused mind thought "If I'm going to be in debt I may as well have something I like".
So I got the 350Z, but the retail therapy was short lived, I now had a car that was costing me a fortune in petrol, and now I am almost back to square one with the debt. I felt / feel so disappointed in myself that I have done this, and this is almost certainly making it worse. I don't really enjoy it because I know I have squandered a great chance to be debt free and relatively secure.
Ever since then, it seems like one thing after another has gone wrong. I don't really wish to go into detail about it, but I've had a death in the family which hasn't helped, I have had relationship difficulties with the other half and loads of other stuff has gone wrong.
I seem to be rapidly heading to complete despair at the moment. I honestly feel like I am in a dark tunnel with no end. Some days are better than others, and some times I feel quite normal, but normal to me is feeling like a grey cloud is always looming over me.
However, like today, when I'm at my worst, I am just so down I honestly sometimes feel like suicide, and that is new for me, because I although I've never exactly been a happy soul in my life, I just can't think straight any more. What I am feeling honestly makes no sense to me. If someone crossed me in this mood, I'm afraid I could possibly do them great harm, which is just not me. I sometimes think of ways I could do myself in, or play out a scenario in my head where someone did cross me, and what I think I'd do to them.
I've tried to explain this to my other half, but I really don't think she understands the gravity of how I'm feeling despite her being depressed before too, and I don't think she can cope. She tries to talk me round but when I feel like this there really is no getting through to me.
Apart from my girlfriend, one of my friends and now PistonHeads (I'll probably regret posting this, but what the hell, I'm not think straight at all), I've told no-one.
I've come to accept that I am now ill, and need help, and in a way, just typing this helps at least a little bit, and I'm not after sympathy, but any advice would be good if you've been there yourself, because right now, I just can't see things ever getting better.
I am going to book myself an appointment with my GP as I believe I am suffering with depression.
For a long time now, I always felt like I have been mildly depressed, quite possibly since my late teenage years (coming up to 34 this year); I've always suspected it because I've never quite felt what I imagine to be as happy as what your average person feels.
Examples: I go to comedies but I rarely laugh unless I am very drunk and / or exceptionally happy. If something good happened to me, I was rarely that enthused about it. I honestly think if I won the lottery jackpot I'd only be mildly happy about it. I have also suffered with anxiety and low self esteem (feeling that I'm no good), and have had the odd panic attack.
I have managed to keep a lid on it for the most part, and put up with it for many years. I've always felt like going to the doctors or even just talking about it to anyone was just too difficult, or I felt I wouldn't be taken seriously.
However, in the last year or 18 months, I feel things have taken a turn for the worse. Much worse. It was at almost exactly this time last year, I was made redundant from my last job. Before it happened I felt like I wouldn't be that bothered, but it hit me so much harder than I really expected. I walked out after being told, went to the pub, and drank about 8 pints in about 30 minutes, before staggering around town for a while (luckily my mate was looking after me), absolutely distraught.
It did come with a silver lining, as the redundancy money paid off debts, and I managed to get another job (albeit temporary) which I am still doing now on better money, but I don't feel like I deserve it.
However, despite that, things just seem to have gone downhill. I ended up buying a car, which was in my mind, a sensible(ish) buy, but unfortunately for me it turned into a complete money pit, cost me £2K and then I sold it at a loss when I could barely look at it any more (in fact, its probably been very well documented on here).
My head was all over the place again after this, now I had debt again after being so close to having none at all. That was when I got my 350Z, and more debt, because my confused mind thought "If I'm going to be in debt I may as well have something I like".
So I got the 350Z, but the retail therapy was short lived, I now had a car that was costing me a fortune in petrol, and now I am almost back to square one with the debt. I felt / feel so disappointed in myself that I have done this, and this is almost certainly making it worse. I don't really enjoy it because I know I have squandered a great chance to be debt free and relatively secure.
Ever since then, it seems like one thing after another has gone wrong. I don't really wish to go into detail about it, but I've had a death in the family which hasn't helped, I have had relationship difficulties with the other half and loads of other stuff has gone wrong.
I seem to be rapidly heading to complete despair at the moment. I honestly feel like I am in a dark tunnel with no end. Some days are better than others, and some times I feel quite normal, but normal to me is feeling like a grey cloud is always looming over me.
However, like today, when I'm at my worst, I am just so down I honestly sometimes feel like suicide, and that is new for me, because I although I've never exactly been a happy soul in my life, I just can't think straight any more. What I am feeling honestly makes no sense to me. If someone crossed me in this mood, I'm afraid I could possibly do them great harm, which is just not me. I sometimes think of ways I could do myself in, or play out a scenario in my head where someone did cross me, and what I think I'd do to them.
I've tried to explain this to my other half, but I really don't think she understands the gravity of how I'm feeling despite her being depressed before too, and I don't think she can cope. She tries to talk me round but when I feel like this there really is no getting through to me.
Apart from my girlfriend, one of my friends and now PistonHeads (I'll probably regret posting this, but what the hell, I'm not think straight at all), I've told no-one.
I've come to accept that I am now ill, and need help, and in a way, just typing this helps at least a little bit, and I'm not after sympathy, but any advice would be good if you've been there yourself, because right now, I just can't see things ever getting better.
grumbledoak said:
Go through with the GP appointment. Try the pills. You may need to try a few types. Don't expect to suddenly be permanently cheerful, that isn't what they do. What they do is lift the gloom and let you see more clearly what it is you need to change.
I will.I've got to be honest, my girlfriend has loads of Prozac which I have been tempted to try but thought better of it as I'm not a doctor.
Rule number 1
Never bottle things up, always try to talk to someone about your feelings, even strangers on the internet, generally they are a pretty good bunch on here...
2. Try to get to the root cause of the problem. If your car is a money pit get rid pronto.
3. See a GP. Don't expect anti-depressants to kick in for about a month.
4. Depression is usually worst in the mornings, the fog clears up gradually as you go through your day.
5. Try and avoid alcohol, although the odd can won't make much difference.
6. Remember you WILL pull through it, and nobody can expect to be happy ALL of the time, 50% of the time and you are doing well.
Never bottle things up, always try to talk to someone about your feelings, even strangers on the internet, generally they are a pretty good bunch on here...
2. Try to get to the root cause of the problem. If your car is a money pit get rid pronto.
3. See a GP. Don't expect anti-depressants to kick in for about a month.
4. Depression is usually worst in the mornings, the fog clears up gradually as you go through your day.
5. Try and avoid alcohol, although the odd can won't make much difference.
6. Remember you WILL pull through it, and nobody can expect to be happy ALL of the time, 50% of the time and you are doing well.
Wacky Racer said:
Rule number 1
Never bottle things up, always try to talk to someone about your feelings, even strangers on the internet, generally they are a pretty good bunch on here...
2. Try to get to the root cause of the problem. If your car is a money pit get rid pronto.
3. See a GP. Don't expect anti-depressants to kick in for about a month.
4. Depression is usually worst in the mornings, the fog clears up gradually as you go through your day.
5. Try and avoid alcohol, although the odd can won't make much difference.
6. Remember you WILL pull through it, and nobody can expect to be happy ALL of the time, 50% of the time and you are doing well.
Good advice.Never bottle things up, always try to talk to someone about your feelings, even strangers on the internet, generally they are a pretty good bunch on here...
2. Try to get to the root cause of the problem. If your car is a money pit get rid pronto.
3. See a GP. Don't expect anti-depressants to kick in for about a month.
4. Depression is usually worst in the mornings, the fog clears up gradually as you go through your day.
5. Try and avoid alcohol, although the odd can won't make much difference.
6. Remember you WILL pull through it, and nobody can expect to be happy ALL of the time, 50% of the time and you are doing well.
Wacky Racer said:
Rule number 1
Never bottle things up, always try to talk to someone about your feelings, even strangers on the internet, generally they are a pretty good bunch on here...
2. Try to get to the root cause of the problem. If your car is a money pit get rid pronto.
3. See a GP. Don't expect anti-depressants to kick in for about a month.
4. Depression is usually worst in the mornings, the fog clears up gradually as you go through your day.
5. Try and avoid alcohol, although the odd can won't make much difference.
6. Remember you WILL pull through it, and nobody can expect to be happy ALL of the time, 50% of the time and you are doing well.
Cheers. To address your points.Never bottle things up, always try to talk to someone about your feelings, even strangers on the internet, generally they are a pretty good bunch on here...
2. Try to get to the root cause of the problem. If your car is a money pit get rid pronto.
3. See a GP. Don't expect anti-depressants to kick in for about a month.
4. Depression is usually worst in the mornings, the fog clears up gradually as you go through your day.
5. Try and avoid alcohol, although the odd can won't make much difference.
6. Remember you WILL pull through it, and nobody can expect to be happy ALL of the time, 50% of the time and you are doing well.
1. Thats what I thought hence the post here. I do feel a bit better for making it.
2. The car isn't so much a money pit, but I got into debt for it, and that bothers me after almost being out of it. I plan to get rid, but I was waiting until spring / summer (convertible).
3. I'm going to try and see one next week. I already knew that AD pills took a while to work.
4. Funnily enough, I seem to be the opposite, I am not one for getting out of bed of a morning, but once up I'm normally OK(ish) but I normally get worse not better on these bad days.
5. For a long time I had drank every day, but lately I haven't been, mainly to try and lose weight, but also because I felt it was ruining my sleep which makes it worse. I do drink quite a lot on a weekend though. A good few years ago, I was practically an alcoholic but I'm definitely over the worst now.
6. Cheers. I'd settle for 50% at the moment. Funny thing is, if you met me, you'd probably never realise - I try and put a brave face on, but sometimes it just becomes overwhelming.
I need to do something about it, or it will wreck my life - its already doing a pretty good job of that now.
Verboten said:
Go see your GP and by all means get some happy pills to tide you over, but ultimately it's down to how you think. Thought patterns create moods and there's a great book called 'stop thinking and start living' by Richard Carlson. I recommend you read it.
Thanks, I will read that book. I will try anything that might help.Well done for recognising you may have a problem!
Remember that nothing is ever as bad as it looks. Try to keep a positive outlook and handle your problems one at a time.
You mention financial worries - make a list of your essential outgoings and try to stick to it. If the car is costing too much, get rid - there'll always be others!
I've tried to type some other stuff but it just sounds trite, so I'll just send my best wishes
Remember that nothing is ever as bad as it looks. Try to keep a positive outlook and handle your problems one at a time.
You mention financial worries - make a list of your essential outgoings and try to stick to it. If the car is costing too much, get rid - there'll always be others!
I've tried to type some other stuff but it just sounds trite, so I'll just send my best wishes
I'd also encourage you to go to the GP and seriously consider pills. They do however take a couple of weeks to kick in, and there are different types so it may take a couple of goes to find one to suit.
Other things to also consider trying - all are things I've personally found very helpful, particularly in the long term (pills for the short to medium term to keep you going):
Talking therapy, espcially cognitive and mindfulness therapies
Avoid/reduce alcohol, also caffeine
Consider cutting out things like wheat temporarily (for a couple of weeks at least, google emlination diet) - food intolerances can cause/exacerbate depression.
Exercise
Get daylight, especially in the morning - or get a dawn simulator
Eat more animal fat and fish oils (the brain is 60% fat) and cut back on veg oils,
Cut back on sugary foods, starchy junk foods etc - poor blood sugar control is linked to depression
Consider supplementing with vitamin D3 and magnesium
Other things to also consider trying - all are things I've personally found very helpful, particularly in the long term (pills for the short to medium term to keep you going):
Talking therapy, espcially cognitive and mindfulness therapies
Avoid/reduce alcohol, also caffeine
Consider cutting out things like wheat temporarily (for a couple of weeks at least, google emlination diet) - food intolerances can cause/exacerbate depression.
Exercise
Get daylight, especially in the morning - or get a dawn simulator
Eat more animal fat and fish oils (the brain is 60% fat) and cut back on veg oils,
Cut back on sugary foods, starchy junk foods etc - poor blood sugar control is linked to depression
Consider supplementing with vitamin D3 and magnesium
TameRacingDriver said:
6. Cheers. I'd settle for 50% at the moment. Funny thing is, if you met me, you'd probably never realise - I try and put a brave face on, but sometimes it just becomes overwhelming.
A good percentage of comedians suffer from depression in "real life".....tears of a clown and all that....Take each day as it comes, this crappy cold weather and dark nights don't help much either, whenever I'm feeling a bit down I always think there's always someone much worse off, people who have lost loved ones in accidents that day, QPR supporters..
.....Hang on in there, it WILL get better, honestly.....Thanks all for the replies so far, they are a help.
About the fish oils / supplements, one of my mate (who happens to be selling said products) was trying to get me onto these fish oil tablets, which were quite expensive, I do try taking an omega 3 tablet once a day from the supermarket but I've no idea whether its snake oil (or fish!), he reckons they wouldn't be strong enough to make any difference. I also take a multivitamin. My diet is actually pretty good I would say in all fairness.
oldbanger said:
I'd also encourage you to go to the GP and seriously consider pills. They do however take a couple of weeks to kick in, and there are different types so it may take a couple of goes to find one to suit.
Other things to also consider trying - all are things I've personally found very helpful, particularly in the long term (pills for the short to medium term to keep you going):
Talking therapy, espcially cognitive and mindfulness therapies
Avoid/reduce alcohol, also caffeine
Consider cutting out things like wheat temporarily (for a couple of weeks at least, google emlination diet) - food intolerances can cause/exacerbate depression.
Exercise
Get daylight, especially in the morning - or get a dawn simulator
Eat more animal fat and fish oils (the brain is 60% fat) and cut back on veg oils,
Cut back on sugary foods, starchy junk foods etc - poor blood sugar control is linked to depression
Consider supplementing with vitamin D3 and magnesium
Thanks for these suggestions. I don't drink coffee or any caffeine based drinks, and its rare that I eat loads of sugar now. I'll look into the intolerance thing, and I do need to work on getting more exercise (I used to be a proper gym addict as well and it did help but it's since fizzled out and I really don't do enough now).Other things to also consider trying - all are things I've personally found very helpful, particularly in the long term (pills for the short to medium term to keep you going):
Talking therapy, espcially cognitive and mindfulness therapies
Avoid/reduce alcohol, also caffeine
Consider cutting out things like wheat temporarily (for a couple of weeks at least, google emlination diet) - food intolerances can cause/exacerbate depression.
Exercise
Get daylight, especially in the morning - or get a dawn simulator
Eat more animal fat and fish oils (the brain is 60% fat) and cut back on veg oils,
Cut back on sugary foods, starchy junk foods etc - poor blood sugar control is linked to depression
Consider supplementing with vitamin D3 and magnesium
About the fish oils / supplements, one of my mate (who happens to be selling said products) was trying to get me onto these fish oil tablets, which were quite expensive, I do try taking an omega 3 tablet once a day from the supermarket but I've no idea whether its snake oil (or fish!), he reckons they wouldn't be strong enough to make any difference. I also take a multivitamin. My diet is actually pretty good I would say in all fairness.
Wacky Racer said:
A good percentage of comedians suffer from depression in "real life".....tears of a clown and all that....
Take each day as it comes, this crappy cold weather and dark nights don't help much either, whenever I'm feeling a bit down I always think there's always someone much worse off, people who have lost loved ones in accidents that day, QPR supporters.......Hang on in there, it WILL get better, honestly.....
Funny you say that, I'm generally regarded as the joker when I go out. Funny how things work out - maybe its over-compensation? (Its not something I actively try to do, just seems to come naturally).Take each day as it comes, this crappy cold weather and dark nights don't help much either, whenever I'm feeling a bit down I always think there's always someone much worse off, people who have lost loved ones in accidents that day, QPR supporters..
.....Hang on in there, it WILL get better, honestly.....TameRacingDriver said:
Funny you say that, I'm generally regarded as the joker when I go out. Funny how things work out - maybe its over-compensation? (Its not something I actively try to do, just seems to come naturally).
Same here with me (around same age too). Everyone thinks I'm the "spirit" of the party and very outgoing guy etc etc but will never guess I've been suffering from depression since my teens.Talking with your GP is a good first step and try to ask for access to other services (Mental Health team etc). Good luck OP!
TameRacingDriver said:
Thanks for these suggestions. I don't drink coffee or any caffeine based drinks, and its rare that I eat loads of sugar now. I'll look into the intolerance thing, and I do need to work on getting more exercise (I used to be a proper gym addict as well and it did help but it's since fizzled out and I really don't do enough now).
About the fish oils / supplements, one of my mate (who happens to be selling said products) was trying to get me onto these fish oil tablets, which were quite expensive, I do try taking an omega 3 tablet once a day from the supermarket but I've no idea whether its snake oil (or fish!), he reckons they wouldn't be strong enough to make any difference. I also take a multivitamin. My diet is actually pretty good I would say in all fairness.
Yes, to be honest, cognitive therapy and then learning mindfulness have been of the most benefit.About the fish oils / supplements, one of my mate (who happens to be selling said products) was trying to get me onto these fish oil tablets, which were quite expensive, I do try taking an omega 3 tablet once a day from the supermarket but I've no idea whether its snake oil (or fish!), he reckons they wouldn't be strong enough to make any difference. I also take a multivitamin. My diet is actually pretty good I would say in all fairness.
However, now that I am generally OK (and have been for a few years), I do notice that things like alcohol really do set me off kilter for a couple of days.
I also noted very big improvements in mood and energy when starting to supplement with high dose fish oil then a couple of years later with v high dose vit d3 (I'm down to 10,000IU D3 per 2-3 days). I ate a very poor diet for years though and was practically nocturnal to boot, so was probably very dificient.
I'll try and be brief but it's something I'm not good at!!
I was diagnosed with clinical depression back in 1993, and had been depressed for years beforehand. Prozac for 13 years - then I beat it!! (curled up in foetal position for days refusing to talk move eat drink etc - on max 60mg - you get the picture). Now fairly stable on duloxetine maz 120mg.
Have terminal cancer just to confuse things further.
Last week I finally managed to do something I'd not been able to do for 20 years. When first diagnosed I was fortunate that the health visitor who did relaxation classes at the surgery was also a qualified hypno therapist. We fairly quickly established my problem was classic - it went back to upbringing. I clearly remember her asking me to tell her what I would like to say to my mother. I couldn't voice it, I couldn't even think it. Last week, 20 years later, I finally managed to do it - I poured all I wanted to say in writing - No, not all, I did take some of the edge off, and posted it to my mother. I should say she now has dementia, is in a home, I look after her affairs but haven't seen her since 2008, my 3 sisters washed their hands of her decades ago, and she probably won't have read or understood a word I said. But finally I've done it.
CBT is the current 'preferred solution' these days for depression - it's measurable - you do a survey before you start and when you finish - you've improved scores - success. Personally it didn't do much to me - I wanted to know why I was thinking as I did before I could challenge my thoughts. I was lucky enuf to be referred to a Cognitive Analytical Therapy counseller a couple of years back, and this really helped - unfortunately they are few and far between, even privately - I think there were 2 private practitioners in Scotland, and one wasn't taking new clients!!
The point I'm trying to make is if you have clinical depression then don't expect a quick cure. The edge might be taken off it, you may function a lot better most of the time - I do - but it's a lifelong problem.
I've said to a couple of people that if a genie came out of a magic lamp and said "I can take away your cancer which is going to kill you or I can take away your depression", without a thought I'd go for depression. Until you've lived with it you don't understand it - it is the cruellest thing on earth.
Best of luck OP - take the pills, they help you learn how to deal with it and if you can come off them, well and good - if you can't, don't fret - you're not alone.
Nina
I was diagnosed with clinical depression back in 1993, and had been depressed for years beforehand. Prozac for 13 years - then I beat it!! (curled up in foetal position for days refusing to talk move eat drink etc - on max 60mg - you get the picture). Now fairly stable on duloxetine maz 120mg.
Have terminal cancer just to confuse things further.
Last week I finally managed to do something I'd not been able to do for 20 years. When first diagnosed I was fortunate that the health visitor who did relaxation classes at the surgery was also a qualified hypno therapist. We fairly quickly established my problem was classic - it went back to upbringing. I clearly remember her asking me to tell her what I would like to say to my mother. I couldn't voice it, I couldn't even think it. Last week, 20 years later, I finally managed to do it - I poured all I wanted to say in writing - No, not all, I did take some of the edge off, and posted it to my mother. I should say she now has dementia, is in a home, I look after her affairs but haven't seen her since 2008, my 3 sisters washed their hands of her decades ago, and she probably won't have read or understood a word I said. But finally I've done it.
CBT is the current 'preferred solution' these days for depression - it's measurable - you do a survey before you start and when you finish - you've improved scores - success. Personally it didn't do much to me - I wanted to know why I was thinking as I did before I could challenge my thoughts. I was lucky enuf to be referred to a Cognitive Analytical Therapy counseller a couple of years back, and this really helped - unfortunately they are few and far between, even privately - I think there were 2 private practitioners in Scotland, and one wasn't taking new clients!!
The point I'm trying to make is if you have clinical depression then don't expect a quick cure. The edge might be taken off it, you may function a lot better most of the time - I do - but it's a lifelong problem.
I've said to a couple of people that if a genie came out of a magic lamp and said "I can take away your cancer which is going to kill you or I can take away your depression", without a thought I'd go for depression. Until you've lived with it you don't understand it - it is the cruellest thing on earth.
Best of luck OP - take the pills, they help you learn how to deal with it and if you can come off them, well and good - if you can't, don't fret - you're not alone.
Nina
Exercise helps a great deal for me, join a gym/club or go running/cycling. Obviously some people don't enjoy exercise or gyms but I really do think its been half the battle won for me.
Consider the simple things, are you working, do you have money to pay for food, drink and a hobby, if so then your doing OK don't commit suicide.
It does get better! I have been on the edge of suicide before, yet I've come through the other side, I am in no way cured I still have bad days, crazy thoughts and moments when It feels like everything has gone to s
t.
Your not alone with social anxiety and your situation is familiar to me, if you have friends make sure that you attend the parties and outings even if you don't fancy it. In general new things come along in life, money and love aren't everything, relationships end and it's always a surprise and difficult but after a few weeks new opportunities open up and more time can be spent doing productive things.
If you have a good GP then they will refer you to some talking therapies and prescribe some tablets, they help to take the edge off. Again I find the best therapy to be out there doing things, keeping busy at work and making the effort to go to the pub with my few friends.
Take it one day at a time, you'll get there.
Consider the simple things, are you working, do you have money to pay for food, drink and a hobby, if so then your doing OK don't commit suicide.
It does get better! I have been on the edge of suicide before, yet I've come through the other side, I am in no way cured I still have bad days, crazy thoughts and moments when It feels like everything has gone to s
t.Your not alone with social anxiety and your situation is familiar to me, if you have friends make sure that you attend the parties and outings even if you don't fancy it. In general new things come along in life, money and love aren't everything, relationships end and it's always a surprise and difficult but after a few weeks new opportunities open up and more time can be spent doing productive things.
If you have a good GP then they will refer you to some talking therapies and prescribe some tablets, they help to take the edge off. Again I find the best therapy to be out there doing things, keeping busy at work and making the effort to go to the pub with my few friends.
Take it one day at a time, you'll get there.
Sparkzz said:
Exercise helps a great deal for me, join a gym/club or go running/cycling. Obviously some people don't enjoy exercise or gyms but I really do think its been half the battle won for me.
Consider the simple things, are you working, do you have money to pay for food, drink and a hobby, if so then your doing OK don't commit suicide.
It does get better! I have been on the edge of suicide before, yet I've come through the other side, I am in no way cured I still have bad days, crazy thoughts and moments when It feels like everything has gone to st.
Your not alone with social anxiety and your situation is familiar to me, if you have friends make sure that you attend the parties and outings even if you don't fancy it. In general new things come along in life, money and love aren't everything, relationships end and it's always a surprise and difficult but after a few weeks new opportunities open up and more time can be spent doing productive things.
If you have a good GP then they will refer you to some talking therapies and prescribe some tablets, they help to take the edge off. Again I find the best therapy to be out there doing things, keeping busy at work and making the effort to go to the pub with my few friends.
Take it one day at a time, you'll get there.
Great post and saves me a lot of typing Consider the simple things, are you working, do you have money to pay for food, drink and a hobby, if so then your doing OK don't commit suicide.
It does get better! I have been on the edge of suicide before, yet I've come through the other side, I am in no way cured I still have bad days, crazy thoughts and moments when It feels like everything has gone to s
t.Your not alone with social anxiety and your situation is familiar to me, if you have friends make sure that you attend the parties and outings even if you don't fancy it. In general new things come along in life, money and love aren't everything, relationships end and it's always a surprise and difficult but after a few weeks new opportunities open up and more time can be spent doing productive things.
If you have a good GP then they will refer you to some talking therapies and prescribe some tablets, they help to take the edge off. Again I find the best therapy to be out there doing things, keeping busy at work and making the effort to go to the pub with my few friends.
Take it one day at a time, you'll get there.
I suffered depression most of my adult life (it come and went). Then after some health issues a couple of years ago I went off a cliff, and was in a very dark place.
I went to see a "process Psychologist" (I had seen normal Psychologist in the past but they didn't help too much).
I am 'cured' now. I'm a happy chap on the whole. It can be done. It took me a couple of years. Its all about being mindfull and living the moment. Highly recommended. Its also fascinating - as you pick about and understand how you react to things, expectations, etc - I'd recommend it to anyone just for the entertainment!
I went to see a "process Psychologist" (I had seen normal Psychologist in the past but they didn't help too much).
I am 'cured' now. I'm a happy chap on the whole. It can be done. It took me a couple of years. Its all about being mindfull and living the moment. Highly recommended. Its also fascinating - as you pick about and understand how you react to things, expectations, etc - I'd recommend it to anyone just for the entertainment!
Visit your GP and go from there. I was depressed from my mid teens (now 22) and It got to a point where everything in my life was absolutely fked! I wasn't really sure about visiting the GP as many people said they put you on anti-depressants straight away without much consideration and stuff like that but they really helped.
Anyway I finally made that visit and I was put on Citalopram 20mg and referred to the local mental health clinic. After the initial headaches and nausea which lasted about a month or so, I finally started to see the difference and it was MASSIVE! Felt much better, happier and generally in a good mood and with visits to the local mental health clinic every three months which helped me deal with the cause of the problem. After that I was referred for CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) which kinda worked for some stuff and didn't for others!
Anyway after 1.5 years of all this stuff, I was discharged from the clinic and I came off Citalorpam just before xmas. I feel like a completely new person and I'm loving life to the max ATM
Just a few pieces of important information I gathered from my experience.
1. Don't be afraid of talking, for me at the start it was difficult but I eventually opened up and that helped a lot.
2. Don't be afraid of setback. At one point I has a "relapse" and things kinda went back to level 1, but stick to it.
3. It will take time, don't expect miracles.
4. Join your local gym as you will notice weight gain. I gained about 15kg's, which only now have managed to shift off and also exercising also helps aid the process too.
good luck1
ked! I wasn't really sure about visiting the GP as many people said they put you on anti-depressants straight away without much consideration and stuff like that but they really helped.Anyway I finally made that visit and I was put on Citalopram 20mg and referred to the local mental health clinic. After the initial headaches and nausea which lasted about a month or so, I finally started to see the difference and it was MASSIVE! Felt much better, happier and generally in a good mood and with visits to the local mental health clinic every three months which helped me deal with the cause of the problem. After that I was referred for CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) which kinda worked for some stuff and didn't for others!
Anyway after 1.5 years of all this stuff, I was discharged from the clinic and I came off Citalorpam just before xmas. I feel like a completely new person and I'm loving life to the max ATM
Just a few pieces of important information I gathered from my experience.
1. Don't be afraid of talking, for me at the start it was difficult but I eventually opened up and that helped a lot.
2. Don't be afraid of setback. At one point I has a "relapse" and things kinda went back to level 1, but stick to it.
3. It will take time, don't expect miracles.
4. Join your local gym as you will notice weight gain. I gained about 15kg's, which only now have managed to shift off and also exercising also helps aid the process too.
good luck1
Thanks for all of the replies, I have a lot to think about here.
I am going to read that book suggested earlier - I had a quick preview of it on Amazon and it did seem like it will be helpful.
The weird thing about this is, I woke up this morning as if nothing had happened, and my memory of it from last night is almost as though I was drunk, a bit hazy and a bit of the old "did that really happen?". Strange feeling.
@ Nina - just when I thought things were bad for me (and I'm under no illusion that things weren't that bad just the perception of it), your post made me realise how lucky I am right now. You have my thoughts.
I think I need to change the way I think somehow, because having thought about this and talked to the GF last night, I am trapped in a very negative mindset, and when things go wrong, it perpetuates it even more, justifying in my mind why I do think the way I do. I need to change this.
Exercise is something I'm going to get down to again right away. I need some form of stress release, which is something I don't feel I've got right now.
I'm a little concerned about the fact anti-depressants can make you gain weight as well - I am already overweight, and can't afford to put any more weight on - in fact I'd say my weight contributed to my feelings too... although I've managed to lose a stone, but I certainly couldn't afford to put on 2 or 3 stone.
I have to say I'm still a little reluctant about the GP thing, especially as I'm sure I'll go on a day when I'm fine. I don't know whether its worth reading that book, starting a proper exercise plan, and see if I can self medicate? It might not work, but I've always been reluctant to take medication unless absolutely necessary.
I am going to read that book suggested earlier - I had a quick preview of it on Amazon and it did seem like it will be helpful.
The weird thing about this is, I woke up this morning as if nothing had happened, and my memory of it from last night is almost as though I was drunk, a bit hazy and a bit of the old "did that really happen?". Strange feeling.
@ Nina - just when I thought things were bad for me (and I'm under no illusion that things weren't that bad just the perception of it), your post made me realise how lucky I am right now. You have my thoughts.
I think I need to change the way I think somehow, because having thought about this and talked to the GF last night, I am trapped in a very negative mindset, and when things go wrong, it perpetuates it even more, justifying in my mind why I do think the way I do. I need to change this.
Exercise is something I'm going to get down to again right away. I need some form of stress release, which is something I don't feel I've got right now.
I'm a little concerned about the fact anti-depressants can make you gain weight as well - I am already overweight, and can't afford to put any more weight on - in fact I'd say my weight contributed to my feelings too... although I've managed to lose a stone, but I certainly couldn't afford to put on 2 or 3 stone.
I have to say I'm still a little reluctant about the GP thing, especially as I'm sure I'll go on a day when I'm fine. I don't know whether its worth reading that book, starting a proper exercise plan, and see if I can self medicate? It might not work, but I've always been reluctant to take medication unless absolutely necessary.
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