Sorting out a dementia assessment for someone else

[Kiltie]

I wonder if anyone has had experience of arranging for someone close to them to have a dementia assessment when the mere suggestion of such a thing would likely result in an unlpleasant reaction from the person you were concerned about.

This one's really got me beat so any kind of steer would be appreciated.

Thanks,

Eric

[TheJimi]

Will be watching this with interest.

I'm slightly worried about my old man. Outside of his working life, he seems to forget lots of elementary stuff, like conversations and small details, however anything to do with work is absolutely fine and he has complete 100% recall over everything from small details to conversations he's had with clients a number of weeks ago - he assures me (and I believe him) that this is done without the aid of notes etc.

I just find it really hard to grasp that on hand, non-work related information seems to get utterly lost on him, and on the other hand, with work he is 100% on the ball without any effort.

[Hoofy]

Not quite relevant to the OPer (well, I guess it may be useful generally) but talk to them about stuff from their past eg with TheJimi, get your dad to recall as much as possible about work and also about eg family holidays. Apparently, this helps "fight" dementia as it fires up the right parts of the brain.

IANAD! If his head falls off, it's your fault and nobody else's.

[TheJimi]

He does admit that he sort of switches off unless the subject at hand is anything to do with work. My Mum often comments on this as a point of contention.

[Hoofy]

TheJimi said:

He does admit that he sort of switches off unless the subject at hand is anything to do with work. My Mum often comments on this as a point of contention.

Ah. That's not dementia. That's a marriage lasting 50 years.

[Kiltie]

I have found the Alzheimer's Society website quite useful.

Also, by pure coincidence, "Woman's Hour" on Radio 4 this morning had a really interesting related piece ( link here - skip to 39:08).

Regarding my original post; given that my question was how to broach the subject with the person of concern, perhaps the health matters section wasn't the best choice.

Cheers,

Eric

[Ozzie Dave]

Unfortunately this is one of the most difficult conversations, and one that I've had with relatives twice,
In one case the fact of asking"are you OK" we had this with both my mother and father present, when we said what we noticed mum burst out crying saying it had been going on a while. with work he was fine, but at home he had become quiet and withdrawn. this at the time was put down as depression, if we had had tests done earlier then it is possible that something could have been done to slow it down, there is medication that can help.
the second case has been worse as he thinks there is nothing wrong with him one min, the next says i'm loosing my mind, the next becomes paranoid they you are trying to tip him over the edge.
Above all work as a family and involve everyone to start with, if someone cant deal with things they will soon drop out and ask you to deal with it. But ignoring it and hoping it will go away unfortunately can allow it to become the elephant in the room to start with, and then the elephant running amuck in the room distroying families and lives. Remeber it will have scare factor not just for your father but probably for your mother as well.

Good luck.

[TheJimi]

My problem is that I don't know whether it's just a social issue with the way he views non work related stuff or something more sinister and my folks are just laughing it off.

[Kiltie]

Thanks Dave - that was a really good reply.

Ozzie Dave said:

Above all work as a family and involve everyone to start with ...

This bit is particularly useful to me. I was pretty much there in my head but it's good to read it and have it reinforced.

Jimmy - good luck to you too. If I make progress and I have anything I think is worth sharing, I'll post up here.

Have a great weekend folks.

Thanks again.

Cheers,

Eric

[p1doc]

a gp to do home visit and do mmse-if lower than 20 likely need referral to secondary care for further investigations
martin

[Ffuxake]

Do you need a diagnosis?
Is he acting in a way that could put himself at risk, if not let things happen of their own accord. When things become an issue his GP or your local Social Services can step in to provide support.