For fans of both Formula One and Gilbert and Sullivan
Discussion
Here is a song wot I just writ.
It goes to the tune of The Major-General's Song from The Pirates of Penzance.
(Me)
I am the very model of a Form'la One enthusiast
I relish seeing cars and drivers pound the racetracks superfast
The season's 19 races set at circuits in 5 continents
They're on TV, with just recorded highlights shown of some events
The weekends start on Fridays with free practice, just to get the feel
The race itself's on Sundays and the action's often wheel-to-wheel
Whilst Saturday's for qually, when they try to set the quickest lap
And ponce around the paddock in a sponsor's special baseball cap
(Chorus of pit-crew members)
They ponce around the paddock, sponsors logos on their racing kit
They've got to keep those sponsors sweet, cos they’re the ones who pay for it
Without those sponsors' dollars there'd be not much choice for drivers but to quit
(Me)
Of course a win's important, taking chequered flag's a major aim
But points accumulation - that's another aspect of the game
Each winner scoring 25, right down to tenth who scores just 1
The champ's the driver with the biggest total when the season's done
(Chorus of FIA officials)
The champ's the driver with the biggest total when the season's done
And if it's tied between two chaps we count how many races won
(Me)
11 teams of 2; Constructors and the Drivers' Championships
McLaren, Red Bull, Merc, Ferrari, Lotus - they're the top équipes
There's Hammy, Button, Paul di R. and Chilton for the British side
The other 18 guys are from 9 different countries global-wide
Some earlier names like Brabham, Rindt and Prost were great, but IMO
The greatest of them all was Argentina's J-M Fangio
Among the venues Monaco, Spa, Silverstone and Monza shine
And Melbourne, Montreal, Suzuka, Interlagos - they're all fine.
(Chorus of PHers)
The aforementioned circuits all ooze history and atmosphere
The same just can't be said about the newer type of track, I fear
And while we're at it, France without a race these days does seem distinctly queer
(Me)
The British champs were Hawthorn, Hill (2), Surtees, Clarke (2), Stewart (3),
Then Hunt the Shunt, N Mansell, Hill the Younger, Lewis, Jenson B,
And Stirling Moss was brilliant though he never won the championship
In 58 he lost it through his over-riding sportsmanship
(Chorus of 50s racing fans)
Sir Stirling Moss was brilliant though he never won the championship
Let's hear it for a driver with a high degree of sportsmanship.
(Me)
If only they could scrap the various things that really irritate,
Korean races, Tilke circuits, words that sound like something-gate
Those haven't-got-a-clue celebs on freebies - not your proper fan
And seasons dominated by one team - or worse by just one man
Those post-race podium interviews by former stars - they're just too naff
Investigating every tiny incident - don't make me laugh
And let's abolish car park queues and mud each year at Silverstone
But first and foremost let's get rid of bloody Bernie Ecclestone
(Chorus of FOTA members)
He doesn't seem to be a major fan of Bernie Ecclestone
That's hardly fair, cos we all know that Bernie's such a lovely man
But then again, perhaps we'd all prefer the chance to heckle Ecclestone
(Me)
Cos now it seems we've finally seen the back of old pal Schumi Mike
We've got a chance that once again Grands Prix will have a lot to like
So take F1 from Sky and give it to the Beeb, as in the past,
And here you'd have a very happy Form'la One enthusiast
(Chorus of Mrs Tony2or4s)
So yah boo sucks to Sky: if he could watch each lap from first to last
He'd be the very model of a Form'la One enthusiast
(Piano)
A-plinky-plonky-plinky-plonky-plinky-plinky-tinkle-tink
A-plinky-plonky-plinky-plonky-plinky-plinky-tinkle-tink
A-plink. Plonk. Plink.
It goes to the tune of The Major-General's Song from The Pirates of Penzance.
(Me)
I am the very model of a Form'la One enthusiast
I relish seeing cars and drivers pound the racetracks superfast
The season's 19 races set at circuits in 5 continents
They're on TV, with just recorded highlights shown of some events
The weekends start on Fridays with free practice, just to get the feel
The race itself's on Sundays and the action's often wheel-to-wheel
Whilst Saturday's for qually, when they try to set the quickest lap
And ponce around the paddock in a sponsor's special baseball cap
(Chorus of pit-crew members)
They ponce around the paddock, sponsors logos on their racing kit
They've got to keep those sponsors sweet, cos they’re the ones who pay for it
Without those sponsors' dollars there'd be not much choice for drivers but to quit
(Me)
Of course a win's important, taking chequered flag's a major aim
But points accumulation - that's another aspect of the game
Each winner scoring 25, right down to tenth who scores just 1
The champ's the driver with the biggest total when the season's done
(Chorus of FIA officials)
The champ's the driver with the biggest total when the season's done
And if it's tied between two chaps we count how many races won
(Me)
11 teams of 2; Constructors and the Drivers' Championships
McLaren, Red Bull, Merc, Ferrari, Lotus - they're the top équipes
There's Hammy, Button, Paul di R. and Chilton for the British side
The other 18 guys are from 9 different countries global-wide
Some earlier names like Brabham, Rindt and Prost were great, but IMO
The greatest of them all was Argentina's J-M Fangio
Among the venues Monaco, Spa, Silverstone and Monza shine
And Melbourne, Montreal, Suzuka, Interlagos - they're all fine.
(Chorus of PHers)
The aforementioned circuits all ooze history and atmosphere
The same just can't be said about the newer type of track, I fear
And while we're at it, France without a race these days does seem distinctly queer
(Me)
The British champs were Hawthorn, Hill (2), Surtees, Clarke (2), Stewart (3),
Then Hunt the Shunt, N Mansell, Hill the Younger, Lewis, Jenson B,
And Stirling Moss was brilliant though he never won the championship
In 58 he lost it through his over-riding sportsmanship
(Chorus of 50s racing fans)
Sir Stirling Moss was brilliant though he never won the championship
Let's hear it for a driver with a high degree of sportsmanship.
(Me)
If only they could scrap the various things that really irritate,
Korean races, Tilke circuits, words that sound like something-gate
Those haven't-got-a-clue celebs on freebies - not your proper fan
And seasons dominated by one team - or worse by just one man
Those post-race podium interviews by former stars - they're just too naff
Investigating every tiny incident - don't make me laugh
And let's abolish car park queues and mud each year at Silverstone
But first and foremost let's get rid of bloody Bernie Ecclestone
(Chorus of FOTA members)
He doesn't seem to be a major fan of Bernie Ecclestone
That's hardly fair, cos we all know that Bernie's such a lovely man
But then again, perhaps we'd all prefer the chance to heckle Ecclestone
(Me)
Cos now it seems we've finally seen the back of old pal Schumi Mike
We've got a chance that once again Grands Prix will have a lot to like
So take F1 from Sky and give it to the Beeb, as in the past,
And here you'd have a very happy Form'la One enthusiast
(Chorus of Mrs Tony2or4s)
So yah boo sucks to Sky: if he could watch each lap from first to last
He'd be the very model of a Form'la One enthusiast
(Piano)
A-plinky-plonky-plinky-plonky-plinky-plinky-tinkle-tink
A-plinky-plonky-plinky-plonky-plinky-plinky-tinkle-tink
A-plink. Plonk. Plink.
Edited by Tony2or4 on Tuesday 26th March 12:43
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