PH Treason. My first ever drive in a Dodge Minivan
Discussion
I harbour a long-held and deep suspicion on Minivan drivers, convinced that they are in fact aliens carefully planted on earth to raise the pressure of others drivers to boiling point ,causing them to die off from apoplexy from being behind one for miles behind one travelling at 10MPH under the speed limit on a two lane road. I have driven hundreds of different cars over many years, including owning scores..
But never a minivan.
Never.
Until last weekend I was a minivirgin. I had a need to transport seven people including two 80 year olds plus myself for a 150 miles trip with some light luggage. Nothing else fitted the bill, so I picked up a brand new Dodge (or Chrysler), can't recall from Avis. Standing still, its not bad. Four individual passenger seats plus a rear bench for three. Fit and finish about average, dashboard a bit plasticky but have seen worse. Seats ok for highway travel. Electrically-powered sliding rear doors and lift gate, easily fold-down seats, reversing camera, satellite radio.(I could have rented a big SUV but they are too high for frail older people to climb into.)
Sp far, so good. Automatic shift lever high on the dash like a Fiat Multipla - bit odd. Into D and off we go. Even empty the thing has the acceleration of a glacier, dropping gears frantically on the most modest acceleration, the little engine whining pathetically. Not unexpected, and it can cruise all day at 75MPH on the highway. Turning circle is surprisingly good for a big vehicle and its easy to park, and that's about the only good thing I can say about it. It corners like a house.
I had the feeling that I was steering with hands numbed by anaesthetic. Looking back at the cars I have driven, from a Porsche Carrera GT to a Hindustan Ambassador, the only thing I have ever had with less steering feel was a riding mower. Add to this a very soft suspension and there is a distinctly nautical feel as you approximate the steering to the desired direction and the whole thing heads vaguely towards the corner. Of course, it has immense functional value if you have a large family or do a lot of moving stuff, so it is necessary at times, but ,like a trip to the proctologist, not pleasurable.
Here are a couple of photos of the thing in its natural habitat, the parking deck of a huge shopping mall in Pennsylvania:
There, I have admitted it. I am now a minivan driver. I was honked at twice at traffic lights by some of those fast-driving louts in their sports cars. I think I'll buy a hat.
But never a minivan.
Never.
Until last weekend I was a minivirgin. I had a need to transport seven people including two 80 year olds plus myself for a 150 miles trip with some light luggage. Nothing else fitted the bill, so I picked up a brand new Dodge (or Chrysler), can't recall from Avis. Standing still, its not bad. Four individual passenger seats plus a rear bench for three. Fit and finish about average, dashboard a bit plasticky but have seen worse. Seats ok for highway travel. Electrically-powered sliding rear doors and lift gate, easily fold-down seats, reversing camera, satellite radio.(I could have rented a big SUV but they are too high for frail older people to climb into.)
Sp far, so good. Automatic shift lever high on the dash like a Fiat Multipla - bit odd. Into D and off we go. Even empty the thing has the acceleration of a glacier, dropping gears frantically on the most modest acceleration, the little engine whining pathetically. Not unexpected, and it can cruise all day at 75MPH on the highway. Turning circle is surprisingly good for a big vehicle and its easy to park, and that's about the only good thing I can say about it. It corners like a house.
I had the feeling that I was steering with hands numbed by anaesthetic. Looking back at the cars I have driven, from a Porsche Carrera GT to a Hindustan Ambassador, the only thing I have ever had with less steering feel was a riding mower. Add to this a very soft suspension and there is a distinctly nautical feel as you approximate the steering to the desired direction and the whole thing heads vaguely towards the corner. Of course, it has immense functional value if you have a large family or do a lot of moving stuff, so it is necessary at times, but ,like a trip to the proctologist, not pleasurable.
Here are a couple of photos of the thing in its natural habitat, the parking deck of a huge shopping mall in Pennsylvania:
There, I have admitted it. I am now a minivan driver. I was honked at twice at traffic lights by some of those fast-driving louts in their sports cars. I think I'll buy a hat.
Edited by RDMcG on Thursday 28th March 15:06
We had a white one of the same thing, a Dodge Grand Caravan when in Vegas/San Francisco last year, I quite liked it, huge inside, pretty comfy and well specced. I was excited to not it had a 286 bhp V6 but in reality, and weirdly it didnt feel any faster than our 140 bhp diesel Ford galaxy, which also, when getting back into it felt like a sports car in comparison.
It coped admirably with being hammered for 1500 miles, through Death Valley and Yosemite, the aircon kept us reasonably cool despite regeristing 120 F outside, didnt seem that cool, then when a door was opened it was like checking on your Sunday roast.
Fuel economy was circa 22/23 mpg (UK) after some quick sums, the interior was comfy but a sea of beige velour, the seats make your bum a bit numb and the renatal company keys were lashed together on a bit of wire than dangled on my leg and drove me scatty, it had the 80's digital watch green dispalys all over the place, the Americans love that, along with warning bongs for everything. performance wise it was usually pretty average with an easily confused auto box that would, on the throttle being pinned, have a thing, write to congress and wait for a reply, then shift down more gears than neccessary and make a noise like a cow being murdered but, from a standstill, maximum prejudice it managed to feel spritely, in that "If you really must" way that comparatively peaky V6's with an auto box do so well, for this kind of vehicle I hate to say it, but a diesel engine makes much more sense.
It had acres of luggae room, usefully bigger than our Galaxy, itself no tiddler, it wasnt an issue in most of the places we went and was one of the smaller vehicles, compared to a lot of the jacked up, double cab, twin wheel pickups.
I have to say, I liked it, but might be partially down to fond memories of a brilliant holiday. Suprisingly I have seen the odd one over here, in the states they are cheap, over here, pretty expensive.
When I went back with work, the month after, a Manual V8 Mustang, now I did like that.
It coped admirably with being hammered for 1500 miles, through Death Valley and Yosemite, the aircon kept us reasonably cool despite regeristing 120 F outside, didnt seem that cool, then when a door was opened it was like checking on your Sunday roast.
Fuel economy was circa 22/23 mpg (UK) after some quick sums, the interior was comfy but a sea of beige velour, the seats make your bum a bit numb and the renatal company keys were lashed together on a bit of wire than dangled on my leg and drove me scatty, it had the 80's digital watch green dispalys all over the place, the Americans love that, along with warning bongs for everything. performance wise it was usually pretty average with an easily confused auto box that would, on the throttle being pinned, have a thing, write to congress and wait for a reply, then shift down more gears than neccessary and make a noise like a cow being murdered but, from a standstill, maximum prejudice it managed to feel spritely, in that "If you really must" way that comparatively peaky V6's with an auto box do so well, for this kind of vehicle I hate to say it, but a diesel engine makes much more sense.
It had acres of luggae room, usefully bigger than our Galaxy, itself no tiddler, it wasnt an issue in most of the places we went and was one of the smaller vehicles, compared to a lot of the jacked up, double cab, twin wheel pickups.
I have to say, I liked it, but might be partially down to fond memories of a brilliant holiday. Suprisingly I have seen the odd one over here, in the states they are cheap, over here, pretty expensive.
When I went back with work, the month after, a Manual V8 Mustang, now I did like that.
..We had one a few years ago. Hired from Chicago, then went Springfield-Kentucky-Maryland-Washington-Springfield-Chicago all over 20 days, starting December 30th! So lots of snow & ice. It did 27MPG UK, 3000miles & transported 5 adults & piles of luggage in reasonable comfort. The last stint Washington-Springfield is 800miles plus done in one hit with 3 stops for comfort & food & water.
Captain Cadillac said:
Hateful things IMO, but they do have a use.
Fwiw that's a Chrysler Town and Country. It does 60 in 7.5. You think that drives badly, try a Toyota Sienna.
Had one of these last year in the US on holiday. If you have ever tried a cheap steering wheel controller for a console, the kind with no force feed back and barely any turning resistance, well that is how the steering in a Sienna is. It's wicked for parking, you can twirl that thing ridiculously fast. But trying to keep it straight on the freeway... Actually requires 100% concentration.Fwiw that's a Chrysler Town and Country. It does 60 in 7.5. You think that drives badly, try a Toyota Sienna.
However, its V6 was pretty pokey and sounded quite awesome if you put the gearbox into sports mode and make it hang on to the red line. Felt pretty quick when only 2 up. I'd put mpg at around 25-27 Uk mpg I think. (Recorded 22-23 us mpg).
Personally I love rental minivans, they are hilarious to drive.
big_boz said:
The world functioned perfect well before People carriers arrived, they are hateful things and should be sent to the burning fires of Hell along with Caravans and Piers Morgan.
Estate cars were fine for 50 years, they go round corners OK, and they are not driven by people i hate.
we had an estate car, a Volvo 850 T5 and though it was a great car, with three kids and a dog it wasnt quite big enough, you end up with the kids mates coming along so the extra seats are useful, the MPV has been around officially since the mid eighties with the advent of the Espece in Europe but I think the Minivan was around in the US before. Estate cars were fine for 50 years, they go round corners OK, and they are not driven by people i hate.
Our Galaxy goes round corners fairly well, not that much in it with the Volvo, I would say its chassis is superior, even if it isnt faster round a given corner, it is certainly a better handler than older Estates, it is a good chassis and is just hampered by being a bit taller.
MPV's were invented due to aneed for that kind of car, the alternatives back in the seventies for bigger families were those Peugeot 604's with three rows of seats or a Transit Minibus.
I just see ours as a tool to do a job, it sits there most of the time and doesnt get used, I should really sell it on as we dont use it but it is so useful, basically it is, as people say, a van with windows, and, having a van, which is somewhere between a Transit connect and a proper Transit in size is very useful.
My kids are all teenagers now so we are coming to the end of our MPV tenure, I would never choose one if choice was involved but sometimes you need to just admit defeat and get on with it, rather than struggle with an unsuitable vehicle.
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