Elderly care

[EdT]

Not sure this is the correct forum.. so admin feel free to fix...

My Father is properly getting on, is ill, and my step mum is in a similar state & cant cope. Feeling some sort of home is imminent & I'm totally out of my depth here. Did I see the govt. have capped the costs ?
Any tips/advice/trap avoidance greatly appreciated.

I'm sure all the answers are out in Googleland but have come to rely on PH in times of need.

[majordad]

My late parents had Cancer( Mam ) and Alzeimers( Dad) . First step was to get a carer to live in with them. The carer wont be there 24/7 so family had to help out. In the end Mam went into a hospice and dad into a home, but this was only months before they passed away. Neither of them liked the idea of having a carer, but agreed when the only other option was a home, and by the time they both went to the home/hospice they realised that they really needed to go there.

[EdT]

Thanks. I there funding or is it down to blowing any savings?

[BlackVanDyke]

Support at home, as long as possible. Residential care is a nightmare.

These guys have good info about the money stuff. http://www.ageuk.org.uk/home-and-care/housing-choi...

[JumboBeef]

EdT said:

Thanks. I there funding or is it down to blowing any savings?

Scotland, England, Wales?

[EdT]

JumboBeef said:

Scotland, England, Wales?

Sussex

[Lemmonie]

In the first instance contact Social Services. They will be able to offer advise about care within the home or external residential services.

[EdT]

WeirdNeville said:

Yes, social services and the local health authority have to do assessments regarding the most suitable level of care. They aim to keep people out of residential care as long as possible, as it is incredibly expensive.

Consider your dads needs now, would he be better with help in morning/evening so that he is free to relax and enjoy his time in his own home other than that?

My father initially had four helpers a day coming through the house, which was not ideal especially as they changed around on a weekly basis. He was not safe to be left alone in the house, so that was a huge burden on my mum who was still trying to work. Eventually he went into residential care as it was the only option, but it was a hell of a fight. This year they tried to say that he had made significant improvement and they were considering pulling the residential care. His improvement was based on them asking him "do you want to go home" and him replying "oh, yes!". It took two consultants and the nurses of the (very well run) home saying that he would be dead within a month if sent back home to get them to back down. It's a yearly fight.

Now is also an opportune moment to get lasting power of attorney. It's invaluable and very cheap whilst he has his marbles, compared to how much it costs to get it in an emergency when he's not with it.

One difficulty is that he's not alone.. he re-married ages ago, but she's also unwell & finding it increasingly hard to cope, largely due to his mental state. A residential/care home may well happen at some point, but I know she'd feel heavy guilt if this happened soon.

Just discovered the costs of such places. You're kidding me.