Place your bets now - engine failure cause...
Discussion
Well after 2.4 years, I finally got my Cerbera MOT'd today and it passed! 
So collected this afternoon. On the way home, car starts to make a ticker ticker sound - similar to a misfire, but no real affect on the engine and could have easily been a zip tie or something hitting something rotating. As I come off a roundabout, there's a bit of a clunk, the noise becomes a bit more mechanical/rattley, so I pull over sharpish, pop the bonnet and look around. I did move one zip tie away from the crankshaft pulley and noticed the wiper tubing had burnt on the exhaust (again).
Couldn't see any other problems so I thought I could limp the car across the dual carriageway (wasn't parked in the best of positions) and into the hotel car park a couple of hundred yards away. As I start the car there is an almighty plume of white smoke through the offside exhaust and the car sounds pretty bad.
Lots of coolant has gone, still dripping out of the exhaust.
So before I start stripping the engine down, get your guesses in as to what it might be.

So collected this afternoon. On the way home, car starts to make a ticker ticker sound - similar to a misfire, but no real affect on the engine and could have easily been a zip tie or something hitting something rotating. As I come off a roundabout, there's a bit of a clunk, the noise becomes a bit more mechanical/rattley, so I pull over sharpish, pop the bonnet and look around. I did move one zip tie away from the crankshaft pulley and noticed the wiper tubing had burnt on the exhaust (again).
Couldn't see any other problems so I thought I could limp the car across the dual carriageway (wasn't parked in the best of positions) and into the hotel car park a couple of hundred yards away. As I start the car there is an almighty plume of white smoke through the offside exhaust and the car sounds pretty bad.
Lots of coolant has gone, still dripping out of the exhaust.
So before I start stripping the engine down, get your guesses in as to what it might be.
Having blown quite a few AJP's up in a variety of ways..... I think this one isn't good... (Sorry)
Sounds like either something has gone into the engine or a valve has dropped.. This has then caused distress within that cylinder cracking the liner/block causing coolant to enter the cylinder. I hope I'm wrong and it's just made the head gasket pop!
Where are you based?
Mike
Sounds like either something has gone into the engine or a valve has dropped.. This has then caused distress within that cylinder cracking the liner/block causing coolant to enter the cylinder. I hope I'm wrong and it's just made the head gasket pop!
Where are you based?
Mike
Sittingbourne, Kent.
Yea, I've already come to terms with a probable dead engine. I've got everything crossed that I've either misheard the mechanical noise or it's some way unrelated, but I very much doubt it is! A dropped valve or chunk out of the head/block/both is my probable diagnosis too.
As you say ukkid, time to change the SN!
(I've also got a load of more stuff to upload to my site at some stage).
I'm going to try to take the cam cover off tomorrow just in case that gives me any clues - though I'm already playing catching up with my business as I effectively had a week off last week to move house!
Oh, one thing I forgot to mention in my OP is that whatever got hit, it didn't affect the oil system - I still had very good pressure when I cut the engine as it was the first dial I looked at when the clunk occurred!
I knew, after 2.5 years, that something was almost certainly going to have dried or corroded - I was just hoping it would be an electrical connector or a steering rack seal or similar!
Yea, I've already come to terms with a probable dead engine. I've got everything crossed that I've either misheard the mechanical noise or it's some way unrelated, but I very much doubt it is! A dropped valve or chunk out of the head/block/both is my probable diagnosis too.
As you say ukkid, time to change the SN!
(I've also got a load of more stuff to upload to my site at some stage).I'm going to try to take the cam cover off tomorrow just in case that gives me any clues - though I'm already playing catching up with my business as I effectively had a week off last week to move house!
Oh, one thing I forgot to mention in my OP is that whatever got hit, it didn't affect the oil system - I still had very good pressure when I cut the engine as it was the first dial I looked at when the clunk occurred!
I knew, after 2.5 years, that something was almost certainly going to have dried or corroded - I was just hoping it would be an electrical connector or a steering rack seal or similar!
Correction, the inlet valves look fine!
I'm sure if I was to look at the exhaust valves it would tell a different story...
Got the cam cover off, noticed there was plenty of oil swimming about each cam bucket. Camshaft didn't immediately appear to be in two pieces!
Then noticed this little bugger sticking it's head out the oil, like the iceberg the Titanic hit!

And on closer inspection of the cam buckets:

That black hole in the middle is the top of what used to be the valve stem.
Not sure how this has happened, one of the last things I did when I last had this car on the road (over 2 years ago now), was to replace the timing chain whilst the engine was out, and then set the valve shims, which also entailed changing any cam bucket showing signs of wear (of which there was two).
I'm sure if I was to look at the exhaust valves it would tell a different story...
Got the cam cover off, noticed there was plenty of oil swimming about each cam bucket. Camshaft didn't immediately appear to be in two pieces!
Then noticed this little bugger sticking it's head out the oil, like the iceberg the Titanic hit!
And on closer inspection of the cam buckets:
That black hole in the middle is the top of what used to be the valve stem.

Not sure how this has happened, one of the last things I did when I last had this car on the road (over 2 years ago now), was to replace the timing chain whilst the engine was out, and then set the valve shims, which also entailed changing any cam bucket showing signs of wear (of which there was two).
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