Shyness holding me back
Discussion
I work in the NHS and have limited my career progression because I have a fear of talking in meetings or standing up in front of others and teaching etc. I go extremely red when I speak to people I don't know and am very conscious of it.
I have the opportunity to apply for a new job which a friend has recommended me for. It is a job that I would love to do if it was completely clinical and involved no management meetings etc.
Has anybody used hypnotherapy or any other interventions to get passed these issues as I'm fed up of not allowing myself to progress because of these hang ups?
I have the opportunity to apply for a new job which a friend has recommended me for. It is a job that I would love to do if it was completely clinical and involved no management meetings etc.
Has anybody used hypnotherapy or any other interventions to get passed these issues as I'm fed up of not allowing myself to progress because of these hang ups?
Edited by K77 CTR on Saturday 27th July 17:51
steveT350C said:
4 questions if I may...
How old are you? What job are you currently doing? What is the job you are thinking about applying for? What other jobs have you done?
I'm 36, currently work as a nurse practitioner, the new job is as a nurse practitioner but band 7 rather than 6 so more responsibility and in a much bigger team. How old are you? What job are you currently doing? What is the job you are thinking about applying for? What other jobs have you done?
I have worked as a staff nurse on the wards and been qualified for 14 years.
There's no easy way of getting over shyness. I'm not sure anyone is really completely confident with speaking in public.
1. People are inherently decent individuals.
2. You need to practice speaking in front of people. Friends and family - I assume you've asked if anyone wants a drink in the pub? That's speaking in public, you're already doing it on a regular basis.
3. Join a toastmasters club. - It's for people that want to be able to speak in public or improve how they present themselves. Its good to meet people and if you just want to attend a session and watch, they are not just going to stick you up on stage.
4. The difference between being confident and acting confident? Nothing.
I had a previous girlfriend, and she went to a hypnotist, which for her improved her shyness fairly significantly (hers was extremely bad thou).
1. People are inherently decent individuals.
2. You need to practice speaking in front of people. Friends and family - I assume you've asked if anyone wants a drink in the pub? That's speaking in public, you're already doing it on a regular basis.
3. Join a toastmasters club. - It's for people that want to be able to speak in public or improve how they present themselves. Its good to meet people and if you just want to attend a session and watch, they are not just going to stick you up on stage.
4. The difference between being confident and acting confident? Nothing.
I had a previous girlfriend, and she went to a hypnotist, which for her improved her shyness fairly significantly (hers was extremely bad thou).
As a nurse you talk to lots of patients and doctors etc in the wards? You are already speaking in public...
Do you go red? Do you look at the floor? Are you worried about looking a fool? If so, you have 14 years experience and you will know what you are talking about - therefore you won't look silly with what you are saying.
As above, give presentations to friends and family.
When giving your presentation, look at a point in the room slightly above the heads of the nearest people, that way you are looking at them whilst not looking "at" them if you see what I mean.
Do you go red? Do you look at the floor? Are you worried about looking a fool? If so, you have 14 years experience and you will know what you are talking about - therefore you won't look silly with what you are saying.
As above, give presentations to friends and family.
When giving your presentation, look at a point in the room slightly above the heads of the nearest people, that way you are looking at them whilst not looking "at" them if you see what I mean.
You could speak to your Trust's L&D lead and ask for access to funding to support some bespoke training to address this skill requirement. Then as said before, practice. As a NP you are already a clinical leader and will have spoken with patients, at case meetings and in multi professional meetings. Use these to continue to practice.
I have helped a number of clients with this type of training and not one has failed to improve substantially. The key ingredient I find is convincing candidates that they should have confidence in themselves and their subject area and thus speak with authority on subjects they know first; debating on less familiar ground can follow once this is mastered.
Good luck!
I have helped a number of clients with this type of training and not one has failed to improve substantially. The key ingredient I find is convincing candidates that they should have confidence in themselves and their subject area and thus speak with authority on subjects they know first; debating on less familiar ground can follow once this is mastered.
Good luck!
You're thinking too much about yourself. Speaking up is about communicating information, it doesn't matter if it's being delivered by a gorilla with a lisp.
No one gives a crap if you go red. It's not school. They want the information you have.
Half the people don't even care what you're saying, they're dreaming of that nurse with the big norks in Radiography.
The other half want to hear what you have to say and don't care how you deliver it.
As long as you don't speak too low or mumble. That s
t is annoying and everyone will talk over you just to bring and end to everyone's embarrassment.
No one gives a crap if you go red. It's not school. They want the information you have.
Half the people don't even care what you're saying, they're dreaming of that nurse with the big norks in Radiography.
The other half want to hear what you have to say and don't care how you deliver it.
As long as you don't speak too low or mumble. That s
t is annoying and everyone will talk over you just to bring and end to everyone's embarrassment.
I do quite a bit of public speaking at work and have done (although a few years ago now) a fair bit before a Judge at interlocutory hearings.
I am convinced of two things.
The first is that people dont listen as closely as you might think (or at all), and secondly they certainly dont look at you as hard and closely as you might think.
Quite frankly at work, sometimes I could stand in front of 20 people in a meeting and read a poem out for all the difference it makes - most of them simply arent listening.
That might not help you (particularly in an interview situation) but I take some comfort from it..
I am convinced of two things.
The first is that people dont listen as closely as you might think (or at all), and secondly they certainly dont look at you as hard and closely as you might think.
Quite frankly at work, sometimes I could stand in front of 20 people in a meeting and read a poem out for all the difference it makes - most of them simply arent listening.
That might not help you (particularly in an interview situation) but I take some comfort from it..
As above practice, also this http://blog.ted.com/2012/10/01/10-examples-of-how-...
Thanks for all the advice.
What a f
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