Difficulty choosing cover letter style.
Discussion
bga said:
#2 would go straight in the bin.
This by far.- 1 could be improved by articulating how the applicants skills and experiences could benefit the company (this is where you can demonstrate that you have done your research on the company).
If you were working for a consultancy, as is the scenario in cover letter one, would you contact potential new clients in the tone of number 1 or number 2? Treat your potential new employer as you would a potential new client.
t'? It reads to me to be well written, clear and concise.kind dilbert said:
Letter 1 is b/s in the following ways:
1) During a three month placement I produced a report outlining how the organisation could reduce the waste from it's processes by 40%.
The letter doesn't say that the methods in the report were implemented, though it seems almost impossible that a guy on a three month placement has identified that such a huge reduction in waste was possible. It's almost certainly not feasible; thus irrelevant b/s.
2) On a one year industrial placement, I produced a report on how byproducts could be harnessed to create more energy, which is now being implemented.
He's completed 5 years at university (4 year undergrad + 1 year Msc) then undertook a yearlong industrial placement; borderline feasible, but uncommon.
Energy from waste is nothing new. However; unlikely the author initiated its implementation as corporations are lawfully obliged to conform with with strict waste disposal regulations..
3)I spent 3 months in Africa designing irrigation tunnels.
Probably did have a trip to Africa, unlikely he designed anything to any technically operational standards (if at all).
Wow, talk about the green eyed monster raising it's ugly head. It is perfectly feasible for students to do projects, internships and volunteering. You just sound like a bitter, cynical, jealous man because you didn't seek out those types of opportunities yourself.1) During a three month placement I produced a report outlining how the organisation could reduce the waste from it's processes by 40%.
The letter doesn't say that the methods in the report were implemented, though it seems almost impossible that a guy on a three month placement has identified that such a huge reduction in waste was possible. It's almost certainly not feasible; thus irrelevant b/s.
2) On a one year industrial placement, I produced a report on how byproducts could be harnessed to create more energy, which is now being implemented.
He's completed 5 years at university (4 year undergrad + 1 year Msc) then undertook a yearlong industrial placement; borderline feasible, but uncommon.
Energy from waste is nothing new. However; unlikely the author initiated its implementation as corporations are lawfully obliged to conform with with strict waste disposal regulations..
3)I spent 3 months in Africa designing irrigation tunnels.
Probably did have a trip to Africa, unlikely he designed anything to any technically operational standards (if at all).
Edited by kind dilbert on Sunday 25th August 19:18
Even if the examples in the example cover letter are made up, the procedure of saying what you have achieved and how and where you achieved it is still the way to do it.
By the way a quick Google found these internship opportunities which could quite easily be similar to the internship described, albeit in South America instead of Africa.
Maybe you should stick to your idea of "Hey, give me a job? I'm nowt special but I'll work as hard as an average worker".
Edited by stevenjhepburn on Sunday 25th August 20:09
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