Feeling awful! :(
Discussion
Where to start...
I quit my job of doing a similar thing for around 10 years and working with my old man last week. I knew I needed a change and wanted something different from life. Other things in my life were good, just wanted to get a career I could enjoy as I didn't want to stay in sales.
Started new job yesterday but was feeling like I had a cold on Sunday, so went in yesterday with little sleep (probably nerves & feeling rubbish). First day was okay but as I was starting despite being tired and shivery, I was thinking is this for me? I'm use to a 9-5 desk job, this was starting a bit earlier doing physical work. So swapping out sitting in a warm office with my microwaved up chicken pasta to cold pasta in the back of a dirty van, pretty cold. I was also trying to learn things (not going on a training course for a little while yet) but it was a lot to take in.
I also took a pay cut.
I got home yesterday and just had a bit of a breakdown. I felt s
t because of my cold but also so uncertain about the choice I've made despite knowing exactly what I was getting into. My family so far have been great and my girlfriend has been really supportive so I can't moan on that front. I am just massively dreading going into work tomorrow and doing this same thing over and over. At least with a desk job you have a computer in front of you and can go up and grab a decent mug of coffee/tea. Stupid things, but stuff I'm used to.
I'm also not eating. I've eaten a couple of satsumas today but I know it's the anxiety that's affecting me. I can feel some of my old derealisation creeping in too.
I feel so pissed off with myself and frustrated at the same time because a lot of people told me at the time that I could be making a bad decision. Honestly, in my head, it seemed like the best decision I was going to make. I just feel so wrong about it now.
Yes, I know I need to MTFU but right now I have zero confidence, zero appetite, zero self-worth and feeling emotions I don't remember feeling since I was a kid or at least a lot younger.
It's probably not helped I phoned in sick today (genuinely am) so have been lounging around not focussed on anything, with no motivation or energy to sort even simple tasks out today.
Sorry for the rant, but I needed to get it out to some 'strangers'. I think I'll be okay, just wondering if anyone else has been there or in a similar situation. I think I like my routine and this has massively fked that up.
I quit my job of doing a similar thing for around 10 years and working with my old man last week. I knew I needed a change and wanted something different from life. Other things in my life were good, just wanted to get a career I could enjoy as I didn't want to stay in sales.
Started new job yesterday but was feeling like I had a cold on Sunday, so went in yesterday with little sleep (probably nerves & feeling rubbish). First day was okay but as I was starting despite being tired and shivery, I was thinking is this for me? I'm use to a 9-5 desk job, this was starting a bit earlier doing physical work. So swapping out sitting in a warm office with my microwaved up chicken pasta to cold pasta in the back of a dirty van, pretty cold. I was also trying to learn things (not going on a training course for a little while yet) but it was a lot to take in.
I also took a pay cut.
I got home yesterday and just had a bit of a breakdown. I felt s
t because of my cold but also so uncertain about the choice I've made despite knowing exactly what I was getting into. My family so far have been great and my girlfriend has been really supportive so I can't moan on that front. I am just massively dreading going into work tomorrow and doing this same thing over and over. At least with a desk job you have a computer in front of you and can go up and grab a decent mug of coffee/tea. Stupid things, but stuff I'm used to.I'm also not eating. I've eaten a couple of satsumas today but I know it's the anxiety that's affecting me. I can feel some of my old derealisation creeping in too.
I feel so pissed off with myself and frustrated at the same time because a lot of people told me at the time that I could be making a bad decision. Honestly, in my head, it seemed like the best decision I was going to make. I just feel so wrong about it now.
Yes, I know I need to MTFU but right now I have zero confidence, zero appetite, zero self-worth and feeling emotions I don't remember feeling since I was a kid or at least a lot younger.
It's probably not helped I phoned in sick today (genuinely am) so have been lounging around not focussed on anything, with no motivation or energy to sort even simple tasks out today.
Sorry for the rant, but I needed to get it out to some 'strangers'. I think I'll be okay, just wondering if anyone else has been there or in a similar situation. I think I like my routine and this has massively f
ked that up.You need to give it your best shot, even if you think it might be the wrong decision - the one certainty is that if you don't give it your best, then it will be the wrong decision.
If you make a go of it then the choice as to whether to stick with it is yours - foul it up at that choice will be taken away from you.
If you make a go of it then the choice as to whether to stick with it is yours - foul it up at that choice will be taken away from you.
What's the worst that can happen? It doesn't work out and you go back to sales and forge a career, you will still have your family, girlfriend etc, there are people in the world that don't have a pot to piss in.
Try and have positive thoughts and outlook and you will soon start feeling better about yourself.
Try and have positive thoughts and outlook and you will soon start feeling better about yourself.
mu0n said:
Where to start...
I quit my job of doing a similar thing for around 10 years and working with my old man last week. I knew I needed a change and wanted something different from life. Other things in my life were good, just wanted to get a career I could enjoy as I didn't want to stay in sales.
Started new job yesterday but was feeling like I had a cold on Sunday, so went in yesterday with little sleep (probably nerves & feeling rubbish). First day was okay but as I was starting despite being tired and shivery, I was thinking is this for me? I'm use to a 9-5 desk job, this was starting a bit earlier doing physical work. So swapping out sitting in a warm office with my microwaved up chicken pasta to cold pasta in the back of a dirty van, pretty cold. I was also trying to learn things (not going on a training course for a little while yet) but it was a lot to take in.
I also took a pay cut.
I got home yesterday and just had a bit of a breakdown. I felt st because of my cold but also so uncertain about the choice I've made despite knowing exactly what I was getting into. My family so far have been great and my girlfriend has been really supportive so I can't moan on that front. I am just massively dreading going into work tomorrow and doing this same thing over and over. At least with a desk job you have a computer in front of you and can go up and grab a decent mug of coffee/tea. Stupid things, but stuff I'm used to.
I'm also not eating. I've eaten a couple of satsumas today but I know it's the anxiety that's affecting me. I can feel some of my old derealisation creeping in too.
I feel so pissed off with myself and frustrated at the same time because a lot of people told me at the time that I could be making a bad decision. Honestly, in my head, it seemed like the best decision I was going to make. I just feel so wrong about it now.
Yes, I know I need to MTFU but right now I have zero confidence, zero appetite, zero self-worth and feeling emotions I don't remember feeling since I was a kid or at least a lot younger.
It's probably not helped I phoned in sick today (genuinely am) so have been lounging around not focussed on anything, with no motivation or energy to sort even simple tasks out today.
Sorry for the rant, but I needed to get it out to some 'strangers'. I think I'll be okay, just wondering if anyone else has been there or in a similar situation. I think I like my routine and this has massively fked that up.
You've got a lot on. Don't over-read into how you're feeling. If you have made a bad decision, it's not irreversible, but only time will tell whether you have or not, so try not to read too much into it at this early stage.I quit my job of doing a similar thing for around 10 years and working with my old man last week. I knew I needed a change and wanted something different from life. Other things in my life were good, just wanted to get a career I could enjoy as I didn't want to stay in sales.
Started new job yesterday but was feeling like I had a cold on Sunday, so went in yesterday with little sleep (probably nerves & feeling rubbish). First day was okay but as I was starting despite being tired and shivery, I was thinking is this for me? I'm use to a 9-5 desk job, this was starting a bit earlier doing physical work. So swapping out sitting in a warm office with my microwaved up chicken pasta to cold pasta in the back of a dirty van, pretty cold. I was also trying to learn things (not going on a training course for a little while yet) but it was a lot to take in.
I also took a pay cut.
I got home yesterday and just had a bit of a breakdown. I felt s
t because of my cold but also so uncertain about the choice I've made despite knowing exactly what I was getting into. My family so far have been great and my girlfriend has been really supportive so I can't moan on that front. I am just massively dreading going into work tomorrow and doing this same thing over and over. At least with a desk job you have a computer in front of you and can go up and grab a decent mug of coffee/tea. Stupid things, but stuff I'm used to.I'm also not eating. I've eaten a couple of satsumas today but I know it's the anxiety that's affecting me. I can feel some of my old derealisation creeping in too.
I feel so pissed off with myself and frustrated at the same time because a lot of people told me at the time that I could be making a bad decision. Honestly, in my head, it seemed like the best decision I was going to make. I just feel so wrong about it now.
Yes, I know I need to MTFU but right now I have zero confidence, zero appetite, zero self-worth and feeling emotions I don't remember feeling since I was a kid or at least a lot younger.
It's probably not helped I phoned in sick today (genuinely am) so have been lounging around not focussed on anything, with no motivation or energy to sort even simple tasks out today.
Sorry for the rant, but I needed to get it out to some 'strangers'. I think I'll be okay, just wondering if anyone else has been there or in a similar situation. I think I like my routine and this has massively f
ked that up.Just a warning, although you may not have an appetite (totally understandable, appetite/stomach issues are often the first things to be affected when you're anxious etc) make sure you do eat, as if you don't that will contribute to low energy, lethargy and it will become a vicious cycle.
Doesn't matter what it is, just eat something.
Edited by monthefish on Thursday 31st October 11:52
Zero7 said:
What's the worst that can happen? It doesn't work out and you go back to sales and forge a career, you will still have your family, girlfriend etc,
This is true, and worth bearing in mind however...Zero7 said:
there are people in the world that don't have a pot to piss in.
Try and have positive thoughts and outlook and you will soon start feeling better about yourself.
...this won't really help. Anxiety/depression doesn't work like that unfortunately, i.e. summing up the good points in ones life, attaining a good 'score' and then your level of happiness equating to that.Try and have positive thoughts and outlook and you will soon start feeling better about yourself.
Looking at it logically, it strikes me that you are at the mercy of a set of circumstances, which have compounded to make you feel the way you're feeling.
Starting a new job, let alone one that's in an entirely different field, tends to be a daunting prospect for even the best of us - it brings a whole raft of emotions and questions, all entirely natural. You've spent a long time doing your old job, and with your Dad, no less and you're now clearly out your comfort zone. So again, to reiterate, your emotions here are completely expected under the circumstances.
To the above situation, add illness and the associated physical and mental issues that come with it - you're getting pretty close to a "perfect storm".
You'd need to be a pretty resilient person to completely brush all this off without pause for consideration, and very very few people are that resilient.
What I'm trying to say is - try not to be so hard on yourself. Fight one battle at a time, get some rest and give yourself a chance to recover from the sickness, then go back to work and take it one step at a time.
Starting a new job, let alone one that's in an entirely different field, tends to be a daunting prospect for even the best of us - it brings a whole raft of emotions and questions, all entirely natural. You've spent a long time doing your old job, and with your Dad, no less and you're now clearly out your comfort zone. So again, to reiterate, your emotions here are completely expected under the circumstances.
To the above situation, add illness and the associated physical and mental issues that come with it - you're getting pretty close to a "perfect storm".
You'd need to be a pretty resilient person to completely brush all this off without pause for consideration, and very very few people are that resilient.
What I'm trying to say is - try not to be so hard on yourself. Fight one battle at a time, get some rest and give yourself a chance to recover from the sickness, then go back to work and take it one step at a time.
For me, if I lose my appetite when I'm depressed, part of it is because I can't be bothered to figure out what to eat. A way around that is just to eat the same stuff for a while. Cereal for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch (cheese and pickle on wholemeal bread is quick, easy and relatively healthy imo) and something easy like bangers and mash or similar for tea.
A couple of days of that and I'm usually bored enough of it to think of something else to eat, which for me at least, is usually a step back towards normal eating and appetite.
As for the rest I've nothing to add to what's been said by others above. It's good advice. Stick with it, try hard, and you'll have the best chance of making an informed, reliable decision about whether it's going to be for you.
Personally if I'm out all day getting cold and wet, I just enjoy a warm dry home all the more when I get there
A couple of days of that and I'm usually bored enough of it to think of something else to eat, which for me at least, is usually a step back towards normal eating and appetite.
As for the rest I've nothing to add to what's been said by others above. It's good advice. Stick with it, try hard, and you'll have the best chance of making an informed, reliable decision about whether it's going to be for you.
Personally if I'm out all day getting cold and wet, I just enjoy a warm dry home all the more when I get there
When I get stressed about difficult situations in my life, I try to give myself a way to separate myself from the situation so I can deconstruct things. I take myself for a nice long walk (ideally somewhere quiet) and ask myself (often out loud) what I am stressed about. I answer my own question and then ask myself what I can do about each problem. This helps me feel like I've developed a "plan" of sorts.
Whilst doing so, I do it with the backdrop of reminding myself of two key things:
1. Whatever happens in life, I can and will handle it
2. By definition, lows have to exist for highs to exist. A high will come in the future, the low is never permanent
I doesn't remove problems but I do find it much easier to handle them without them overwhelming me. With a reference to point two, I have a note on the inside of my front door that says "This is the only time you will experience today." My rationale is that when things are good, you should try and stand back and enjoy them. When things are bad, they will pass.
Chin up chap, the bad times are when you truly test your mettle: You just don't realise that's the case until after it's happened.
Whilst doing so, I do it with the backdrop of reminding myself of two key things:
1. Whatever happens in life, I can and will handle it
2. By definition, lows have to exist for highs to exist. A high will come in the future, the low is never permanent
I doesn't remove problems but I do find it much easier to handle them without them overwhelming me. With a reference to point two, I have a note on the inside of my front door that says "This is the only time you will experience today." My rationale is that when things are good, you should try and stand back and enjoy them. When things are bad, they will pass.
Chin up chap, the bad times are when you truly test your mettle: You just don't realise that's the case until after it's happened.
Unfortunately there's not a lot we can say that's really going to make you feel any better, other than this is temporary (even thought it might not seem it at the moment) and your feelings will improve.
I think clichéd phrases probably aren't what you need right now, but I do like Churchill's "When you're going through hell, keep going".
Let us know how you're doing.
I think clichéd phrases probably aren't what you need right now, but I do like Churchill's "When you're going through hell, keep going".
Let us know how you're doing.
I've just read through the replies and they're informative and make me feel like I'm not alone and I think that is the worst thing. I'm usually not really the sort of person who has to be around people a lot or have to see my gf regularly, or my family... but the last couple of days I've felt like a lost puppy and been trying to get comfort in them. It's really not like me - happened maybe 2-3 times from what I can remember (usually involving a girl haha). You know that feeling that even though you are around people you love, that you still feel alone? You even feel like your own body is a stranger. It's a really scary and odd feeling that for me is the worst you can ever feel.
Today I went in and although I didn't sleep much last night, I feel a lot better. I managed to actually get some hands on stuff done which I really shouldn't have (not authorised) but I enjoyed doing it.
Just trying to keep myself busy is important. I've had the odd wave come over me of feeling 'spaced out', not myself and getting super anxious but they did pass.
It really is true that you never know what you have until it's gone. I really do miss the journies into and from work with my dad and I know he feels the same about me too. Those things you take for granted, but they make up who you are as it is a big part of your life travelling to work and home every day.
I honestly wasn't expecting all these really good replies. PH can be really helpful sometimes, thank you.
Today I went in and although I didn't sleep much last night, I feel a lot better. I managed to actually get some hands on stuff done which I really shouldn't have (not authorised) but I enjoyed doing it.
Just trying to keep myself busy is important. I've had the odd wave come over me of feeling 'spaced out', not myself and getting super anxious but they did pass.
It really is true that you never know what you have until it's gone. I really do miss the journies into and from work with my dad and I know he feels the same about me too. Those things you take for granted, but they make up who you are as it is a big part of your life travelling to work and home every day.
I honestly wasn't expecting all these really good replies. PH can be really helpful sometimes, thank you.
Edited by mu0n on Thursday 31st October 18:50
Can I ask what the new job is? How are your new colleagues?
You've started a new job where they have to learn a new skill, interact with new people and surroundings it's perfectly understandable to feel as if you've lost some confidence.
Just try and give it time to settle in, learn the ropes. Once you're proud of your work everything will start falling into place.
You've started a new job where they have to learn a new skill, interact with new people and surroundings it's perfectly understandable to feel as if you've lost some confidence.
Just try and give it time to settle in, learn the ropes. Once you're proud of your work everything will start falling into place.
I changed job about 4 months ago - same industry but a very different role for a very different company. I still feel like a fish out of water; not settled, worried about my decision, concerned for the future, and not able to relax at work yet because none of it's second nature - I have to think everything. And this is after 13 years doing my previous role (at 3 different companies) so I could almost do it my sleep.
It is stressful, but it's probably the cold making you feel run down and much less able to cope. Get over the cold, and I'm sure things will feel better and you'll feel more objective.
It is stressful, but it's probably the cold making you feel run down and much less able to cope. Get over the cold, and I'm sure things will feel better and you'll feel more objective.
mu0n said:
I've just read through the replies and they're informative and make me feel like I'm not alone and I think that is the worst thing.
You are definitely not alone. Most people will get like this at least once in their lives. Don't be too hard on yourself and don't overthink things.mu0n said:
Just trying to keep myself busy is important. I've had the odd wave come over me of feeling 'spaced out', not myself and getting super anxious but they did pass.
Think that's the best thing to try and do, just try to stay occupied and don't think too much about the bigger picture.Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff