Men Just Can't Help Themselves!
Discussion
Just to take some light hearted relief from the trials and tribulations of the rail crash; I got pulled by the traffic police yesterday! First time in years.
A half blind reckless moron managed to run into the side of my daughter's beautiful Audi about three weeks ago, one of the last 80 Quattro Avants with the V6 engine and sport suspension, actually bending the floorpan and kinking the roof. I have given her my car to drive and was driving an old '82 Audi Coupe belonging to a friend of mine.
Drove past an entrance on the Dumbarton boulevard to spot a battenburg T5 estate just watching the traffic.
Two lads in front of me both in BMWs on the brakes instantly and we go past at exactly 40 mph, no problem.
A couple of minutes later they come howling up the outside lane and in behind me, blue lights on.
I pull in to a slip road at a petrol station and think to myself what the hell is this, I hope these guys are like Street or Dibble or Silverback and I can reason with them whatever their problem is.
So I'm out of the car like a shot all ready to do battle and the passenger door of the Volvo opens and this 5ft 4in vision of femininity in a uniform with a glowing smile no less confronts me with the words, "so sorry to bother you Sir, but do you realise you have a bulb out?"
I find myself trying desperately not to look at her bosom swelling under the flack jacket and murmer something like,"Oh it's no bother ehm, officer".
I could not have been more effectively disarmed if you'd pressed an automatic against my temple!
Her colleague checks out the old Coupe and starts telling me how much he likes these and its a nice old car then I'm invited into the back of the Volvo trying to disperse the thoughts in my head like, I wonder if she'll want to strip search me?
Then we start talking about travel, don't ask me how we got round to that, all I can remember were the bewitching eyes in the visor mirror telling me that Canada was her favorite place to ski, all the time I'm thinking more about the Apres Ski in the log cabin at night!
So gentlemen, I can now say something I thought I would never do. I ENJOYED being stopped by the Traffic Police!!
A half blind reckless moron managed to run into the side of my daughter's beautiful Audi about three weeks ago, one of the last 80 Quattro Avants with the V6 engine and sport suspension, actually bending the floorpan and kinking the roof. I have given her my car to drive and was driving an old '82 Audi Coupe belonging to a friend of mine.
Drove past an entrance on the Dumbarton boulevard to spot a battenburg T5 estate just watching the traffic.
Two lads in front of me both in BMWs on the brakes instantly and we go past at exactly 40 mph, no problem.
A couple of minutes later they come howling up the outside lane and in behind me, blue lights on.
I pull in to a slip road at a petrol station and think to myself what the hell is this, I hope these guys are like Street or Dibble or Silverback and I can reason with them whatever their problem is.
So I'm out of the car like a shot all ready to do battle and the passenger door of the Volvo opens and this 5ft 4in vision of femininity in a uniform with a glowing smile no less confronts me with the words, "so sorry to bother you Sir, but do you realise you have a bulb out?"
I find myself trying desperately not to look at her bosom swelling under the flack jacket and murmer something like,"Oh it's no bother ehm, officer".
I could not have been more effectively disarmed if you'd pressed an automatic against my temple!
Her colleague checks out the old Coupe and starts telling me how much he likes these and its a nice old car then I'm invited into the back of the Volvo trying to disperse the thoughts in my head like, I wonder if she'll want to strip search me?
Then we start talking about travel, don't ask me how we got round to that, all I can remember were the bewitching eyes in the visor mirror telling me that Canada was her favorite place to ski, all the time I'm thinking more about the Apres Ski in the log cabin at night!
So gentlemen, I can now say something I thought I would never do. I ENJOYED being stopped by the Traffic Police!!
lanciachris said:
Are those audi coupes becoming more popular? theres a nice one in frome with an audi club badge on it. It used to be the case only a year or two ago where they could be had for beer money...
This is what I did for years Chris, Audis in all shapes and sizes. But if you want a real treat, nothing beats these.
You can still buy these very cheaply; mind you, it depends on your definition of beer money.
If you're talking about a pint of Tennent's then forget it, but if you'll go to a reasonable single malt you'll get a beauty.
The thing is, it doesn't matter how much you want to pay, it's finding the right car that's important.
This particular car is one of the best configurations of the design if you want a real driver's car.
It is an '82 five cylinder FI, which stands for amazingly enough, fuel injection.
This is the version with slim black bumpers and the 2.1 litre engine, code KV. In other words the engine they fitted to the Quattro Turbos only without the turbo and with a much higher compression ratio.
It is mated to a close ratio five speed box and goes like shit off a shovel.
If you stick a Koni kit and a really good set of alloys, preferably genuine Audi 15 inch on these, I guarantee you will be gob smacked at the way it drives.
All the service items are available anywhere at ludicrously low prices and the reliability of these vehicles is inherent in the integrity of the design.
Spoil yourself and have some fun without spending a fortune.
mybrainhurts said:
Errm...why were you invited into the back of the Volvo...?
the last (and only) time that happened to me, the driver had left his cap on the floor. Ooops.
I know what you're thinking!! Disgraceful!!
It was to produce my documents.
As it transpired I just had my licence but they were satisfied with that and gave me a VDF to get the light fixed; I think the guy just wanted a look at the old Coupe.
Woman in small car inadvertantly cuts you up at a round about, realises, and holds up her hand to say sorry. How do you react? Well if the she's a stunning 21 year old you raise your hand as well and do an "its alright" shrug, and maybe a little smile. If its a big fat munta you put your hand on the horn and call her a fat dopey gormless bitch while holding your hands up in a "what the f*** are you doing" manner. Us men are very weak.
p.s. All the WPCs I've seen in manchester look like they should have a handler.
Mind you, the uniforms don't help. "Does my bum look big in this?"
Kate moss's ass would look like an escorted load in those trousers!
p.s. All the WPCs I've seen in manchester look like they should have a handler.
Mind you, the uniforms don't help. "Does my bum look big in this?"
Kate moss's ass would look like an escorted load in those trousers! I would love to move to Scotland, as you say, lovely country and good people too. Mind you being a Taff I would say that. 
Saying that I would have to learn the intricacies of scottish law.
Maybe in 15 yrs when I retire......
Can't forget the times I had in Helensburgh, and arochar
>> Edited by silverback mike on Monday 8th November 19:38
Saying that I would have to learn the intricacies of scottish law.
Maybe in 15 yrs when I retire......
Can't forget the times I had in Helensburgh, and arochar
>> Edited by silverback mike on Monday 8th November 19:38
silverback mike said:
I would love to move to Scotland, as you say, lovely country and good people too. Mind you being a Taff I would say that.
Saying that I would have to learn the intricacies of scottish law.
Maybe in 15 yrs when I retire......
Can't forget the times I had in Helensburgh, and arochar
>> Edited by silverback mike on Monday 8th November 19:38
I'm only 8 miles from Helensburgh, great wee town.
Next time you come up give me a bell and I'll take you up some of the hills round that area, just beautiful.
We could misbehave round the lochside in my Audi and see if we can get that WPC to pull us!!!
I can't misbehave much in my audi. Gassing Station | Speed, Plod & the Law | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff