I cant control my rage
Discussion
I now realise that I have a problem.
Its my temper, I seem to manage to get absolutely enraged by the smallest of things, its not just an anger it is rage in its purest form and I do not back down one little bit until who has angered me is a crying, weeping mess (usually the OH
)
Sometimes I scare myself with what I am capable of, although i would NEVER, EVER physically hurt my OH - but what if someone else makes me angry?
Serious question, no doubt I will get the usual PH s
t-head resposnses, but what CAN i do? I know there is anger-management stuff out there but to my mind it will be like AA where you all sit in a lovely little circle telling everyone what a tt you are.
My OH thinks it may be PTSD..... According to here i cry in my sleep more than once a week
We have tried talking, I hate talking about it as I feel ashamed and then start to clam up, she pushes me to talk, I get angry. The whole vicious cycle begins.
If I know I'm on the boil I can control it, but sometimes it just "happens"
In the aftermath I hate myself for it.
Its my temper, I seem to manage to get absolutely enraged by the smallest of things, its not just an anger it is rage in its purest form and I do not back down one little bit until who has angered me is a crying, weeping mess (usually the OH
)Sometimes I scare myself with what I am capable of, although i would NEVER, EVER physically hurt my OH - but what if someone else makes me angry?
Serious question, no doubt I will get the usual PH s
t-head resposnses, but what CAN i do? I know there is anger-management stuff out there but to my mind it will be like AA where you all sit in a lovely little circle telling everyone what a tt you are.My OH thinks it may be PTSD..... According to here i cry in my sleep more than once a week
We have tried talking, I hate talking about it as I feel ashamed and then start to clam up, she pushes me to talk, I get angry. The whole vicious cycle begins.
If I know I'm on the boil I can control it, but sometimes it just "happens"
In the aftermath I hate myself for it.
I'm no expert myself, but the OH does CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) for the NHS.
You self-refer, they assess you to determine suitability, and then you get a number of one-on-one sessions to work through it.
She certainly covers PTSD, but not to my knowledge anger management. Either way the process will set you off in the right direction, and it's certainly not the sort of 'group AA' idea that you have in your head.
Sounds like you need to act, know it, and having identified that need is a major step.
Good luck!
You self-refer, they assess you to determine suitability, and then you get a number of one-on-one sessions to work through it.
She certainly covers PTSD, but not to my knowledge anger management. Either way the process will set you off in the right direction, and it's certainly not the sort of 'group AA' idea that you have in your head.
Sounds like you need to act, know it, and having identified that need is a major step.
Good luck!
Impasse said:
Seek professional counselling either via your GP or private means. This isn't something you and your other half can fix on your own.
This and give it a chance. You have a preconceived idea of what it'll be like, probably from watching US TV Dramas. It may not be at all like that.The important thing is to start talking to someone who is not emotionally invested in the outcome (i.e. not family or friends). Your GP will be able to help.
GTIR said:
Do you have any (real) friends you can talk to?
Are you stressed at work/about work?
How is your sex life/relationship with your oh?
Does your doggy hump your leg?
Real friends will take the piss, my (semi) annonymous persona on here, I thought, would help.Are you stressed at work/about work?
How is your sex life/relationship with your oh?
Does your doggy hump your leg?
Stress is quite a large factor in my life yes.
Sex life? In total honesty, pants. I am just not interested lately, even when the OH comes on to me I just CBA
Even writing all of this down upsets me as I know it isn't "right"
speed_monkey said:
Lots of free holidays to sandy places all paid by Maj
Combat Stress are a services charity that also do CBT (see my post above) but frankly it sounds like a fair chunk of their prospective patients end up taking the NHS route. Look into both. The more you write, the more I think it'd be suitable.Edit: as regards Combat Stress, it makes no difference that you're now out of the military
ewenm said:
speed_monkey said:
Lots of free holidays to sandy places all paid by Maj
Do the Forces offer any support for this sort of thing? I guess if you're still in the Forces then it might be easier for you to talk to someone outside (so a GP/private counsellor) though.OP - the first step (which you have now taken) is to recognise that you have a problem. Sometimes discussing it with strangers (or at least someone who is not directly involved/relatedà make it easier to unburden yourself.
I echo the advice to seek external help, but beware of GP's who just prescribe medication.
AA-type meetings can help (otherwise the format would have changed long ago), but may not be for everybody.
What are the triggers for your anger?
What stresses do you have in your life at present - job under threat/financial worries? Health problems?
You mention PTSD - are you ex-forces? If so you may be able to get help via this route.
Reducing your OH to tears is definitely not good (mine would probably already have left), so you need to try to be avoiding that!
As I said at the start, recognising you have a problem is the first step - and I wish you well in your recovery.
P.S. As this is PH, and the lounge, MTFU!!!
I echo the advice to seek external help, but beware of GP's who just prescribe medication.
AA-type meetings can help (otherwise the format would have changed long ago), but may not be for everybody.
What are the triggers for your anger?
What stresses do you have in your life at present - job under threat/financial worries? Health problems?
You mention PTSD - are you ex-forces? If so you may be able to get help via this route.
Reducing your OH to tears is definitely not good (mine would probably already have left), so you need to try to be avoiding that!
As I said at the start, recognising you have a problem is the first step - and I wish you well in your recovery.
P.S. As this is PH, and the lounge, MTFU!!!
sunbeam alpine said:
OP - the first step (which you have now taken) is to recognise that you have a problem. Sometimes discussing it with strangers (or at least someone who is not directly involved/relatedà make it easier to unburden yourself.
I echo the advice to seek external help, but beware of GP's who just prescribe medication.
AA-type meetings can help (otherwise the format would have changed long ago), but may not be for everybody.
What are the triggers for your anger?
What stresses do you have in your life at present - job under threat/financial worries? Health problems?
You mention PTSD - are you ex-forces? If so you may be able to get help via this route.
Reducing your OH to tears is definitely not good (mine would probably already have left), so you need to try to be avoiding that!
As I said at the start, recognising you have a problem is the first step - and I wish you well in your recovery.
P.S. As this is PH, and the lounge, MTFU!!!
There is no real "trigger" usually frustrationI echo the advice to seek external help, but beware of GP's who just prescribe medication.
AA-type meetings can help (otherwise the format would have changed long ago), but may not be for everybody.
What are the triggers for your anger?
What stresses do you have in your life at present - job under threat/financial worries? Health problems?
You mention PTSD - are you ex-forces? If so you may be able to get help via this route.
Reducing your OH to tears is definitely not good (mine would probably already have left), so you need to try to be avoiding that!
As I said at the start, recognising you have a problem is the first step - and I wish you well in your recovery.
P.S. As this is PH, and the lounge, MTFU!!!
In all honesty, seeing her break down the way she does kills me
speed_monkey said:
Im out in civvie street now
Same question though - do the Forces offer support for (ex)Servicemen?As others have said, you've already taken the first steps in identifying and admitting the problem. Next step is to identify through Forces/charities/GP what experts there are available to resolve it and then working with them to move forward.
Good luck!
Get help, honestly it does work. Tell the GP no pills and see a counciller or therapist etc or have a look here as it would seem you are ex/serving HM Employee!
www.ptsdresolution.org/are_you_affected.htm
You are on the right path though, recongnising that something isnt right is a good thing, it means you can help yourself! You should be commended for that.
One other tip i was once given for stress was to avoid all stimulants be it caffiene or alcohol.
Good luck, email if you want to talk i have alot of friends who have or still serve and would do anything to help someone who has put their life on the line for me without knowing me!
www.ptsdresolution.org/are_you_affected.htm
You are on the right path though, recongnising that something isnt right is a good thing, it means you can help yourself! You should be commended for that.
One other tip i was once given for stress was to avoid all stimulants be it caffiene or alcohol.
Good luck, email if you want to talk i have alot of friends who have or still serve and would do anything to help someone who has put their life on the line for me without knowing me!
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