Broken promise - car based. Right to be angry?
Discussion
I probably should not be angry about this. First world problems and all that.
Last year I gave my FIL my Mazda CX-7 2.3.
The car was spare and my nice side kicked in.
My father in law - a lovely bloke who I have a lot of time for - was tooling round in some crappy Nissan thing. He claims to love cars and admired my Mazda since it was new. I made the decision to give him the Mazda - but this was a gift with conditions. I made this clear.
Permanant loan if you like. the car is in his name, but when he doesn't want it any more, he knows I want it back. It coudl happily live at my home in Scotland and a fun thing to roar around the country lanes in.
I took no money for it and when he sold his old car I told him to have some fun with the cash. There was a really big condition attatched to the arrangement. He gets it serviced properly with the main dealer.
I always had the car in its 50K with me servied at my brilliant local Mazda garage. It only had one mechanic work on it, a guy who loved MZR engines, who would take tiem to explain stuff to me. When it blew a Turbo, I agreed to wait for him to come back off holiday to fix it.
The car was mine since the moment it came off the transporter. The sales guy took me to the stock yard to look at the ones he had as mine was being off loaded from the ferry port. I told him that was my car. I took the plastic off the inside, was the first person to drive it - on trade plates - on the road etc etc.
My FIL is a nice guy. One of the most decent honest blokes you could want to meet.
But to be honest he's a guy whose life really does not extend beyond the little town he lives in. He has always had his cars serviced by a local ex Rover and Ex proton garage. They are not an impressive outfit. I took an MG there once and they didn't really know much about it even thought they were supposed to specialise in them. They coudln't change a wiper motor. I got the job done by someone else.
I am not against Indys. There is an Indy which specialises in MZR stuff - does Mazda MPS turnign etc - not far away. I told my FIL that if he liked, they could look after the car - especialy for big services.
He has now told me - through my wife - that he is getting the car serviced by the Ex Rover/Proton chaps. The MPS engine is not that quirky, but I do think a car like a CX-7 should be serviced by people who get what it is. A specialist or main dealer.
Apparently these guys can do a "big service" on it for 150 quid.
I am not happy. He agreed to get serviced according to my wishes. Had he not, I'd have kept the car or used its worth to buy a nice toy. It was a sacrafice for me giving him the car. I lowered my sights and bought a 1500 quid car as a fun thing. It was a nice car, but not as nice as the used Focus ST, Mazda 3 MPS or Astra VXR I had considered buying for a bit of fun.
My wife mentioned that he wanted the number of the guy who supplies me with tyres. He may as well get some Chinese ditchfinders on it for all I care now.
He is such a stuck in his ways sort of bloke who beleives all sort of s
t. A "bloke down the pub" has said this or that about the car yadda yadda yadda. All I wanted to do was to let him have something nice to enjoy. All I wanted in return was for him to keep it serviced the way I wanted.
Maybe furious is too strong a word, but do you think I am right to feel angry and let down. I am tempted to tell him to hand me back the keys and get himself a just out of warranty Proton or something.
Edited by wildcat45 on Sunday 9th February 09:32
If you lend stuff within families or friends, don't set conditions or one party will end up disappointed.
Or do what I do and don't ever do business (i.e. setting conditions on a transaction) with friends or family.
Give it away and don't care about the afterwards.
Or sell it privately.
Don't get into the grey zone.
Or do what I do and don't ever do business (i.e. setting conditions on a transaction) with friends or family.
Give it away and don't care about the afterwards.
Or sell it privately.
Don't get into the grey zone.
wildcat45 said:
Permanant loan if you like. the car is in his name, but when he doesn't want it any more, he knows I want it back.
It's not what you'll want to hear, but you no longer own the car or any rights related to it if you gave it to him to register as his own. However considering the circumstances surrounding his acquisition of the car, it's a bit of a dick move on his behalf not to honour your gesture in kind.It's a Mazda, get over yourself!
What miracle servicing are they doing to it which makes if essential that it is cared for like a newborn?
It is a pretty old car, with a fair few miles, it will be worth fk all when/if you get it back - what difference does it really make compared with having a good relationship with this "good guy" that is your FiL?
What miracle servicing are they doing to it which makes if essential that it is cared for like a newborn?
It is a pretty old car, with a fair few miles, it will be worth f
k all when/if you get it back - what difference does it really make compared with having a good relationship with this "good guy" that is your FiL?I agree with the OP. There were conditions attached to the offer which unless the Fil had his fingers in his ears shouting Lalala, he would have been aware of.If he was not happy with the terms he should have said thanks and declined.
Where did the figure of £1500 come from? seems a lot to service one of these?
I never offer anyone stuff for free anymore its just not worth the hassle. Borrowers never look after your own stuff like you would, something that pisses me off at work where people use my kit throwing it around without a thought to what it actually costs.
What is the car valued at? If its a couple of grand then maybe it doesnt deem an expensive service?
Where did the figure of £1500 come from? seems a lot to service one of these?
I never offer anyone stuff for free anymore its just not worth the hassle. Borrowers never look after your own stuff like you would, something that pisses me off at work where people use my kit throwing it around without a thought to what it actually costs.
What is the car valued at? If its a couple of grand then maybe it doesnt deem an expensive service?
- edit to add - figure of £500 was service not £1500! Seems a bit more reasonable.
Edited by With these feet on Sunday 9th February 08:18
Fabric said:
wildcat45 said:
Permanant loan if you like. the car is in his name, but when he doesn't want it any more, he knows I want it back.
It's not what you'll want to hear, but you no longer own the car or any rights related to it if you gave it to him to register as his own. However considering the circumstances surrounding his acquisition of the car, it's a bit of a dick move on his behalf not to honour your gesture in kind.Our family have a habit of giving each other cars, and I've bought 1 £2K and been given 1 from my father in law, there were no conditions attached, other than giving him and anyone else in the family first refusal before selling either. I did this and nobody was interested.
What really boiled my piss was a mini 850 V reg 1978. My wife had owned it 4 years was pregnant and it failed the MOT, so I took it into my garage, and put a new front valance, new sills, and fixed all the ball joints and brakes. Then she said that she was giving it to her friend who was learning to drive.
I finished off the re-spray badly, paid £25 for a tyre, and she paid for the MOT.
The ONLY verbal agreement we had, was "when you have finished with it, even if it is scrap, I want 1st refusal" it's value was £500 plus or minus a bit.
A year later she visited us in a later mayfair, and explained that the brakes had failed the MOT so she'd scrapped it for £40.
20 years on I'm still incensed.
Stuart70 said:
It's a Mazda, get over yourself!
What miracle servicing are they doing to it which makes if essential that it is cared for like a newborn?
IMO the make/model/age of the car isn't important. Surely on PH of all places this can be understood.What miracle servicing are they doing to it which makes if essential that it is cared for like a newborn?
OP, is the FiL a car guy? If not, it's likely his attitude will be "a service is a service". The only difference to him is the cost.
g3org3y said:
IMO the make/model/age of the car isn't important. Surely on PH of all places this can be understood.
OP, is the FiL a car guy? If not, it's likely his attitude will be "a service is a service". The only difference to him is the cost.
No he's not a car guy. He pretends to be, but looking at his car history, he isn't. He is however old school in that way he really appears to understand the value of things. You know the type, he will have a really good drill or sander which cost a few quid, it lives in the box, gets cleaned and put away proerly. OP, is the FiL a car guy? If not, it's likely his attitude will be "a service is a service". The only difference to him is the cost.
He was so delighted with the car - waxing it, polishing it. I saw me claying a car once - next thing he's on the 'phone to me from Halfords looking at clay and wanted to know which brand I used. He has sorted out a few scratches. He was gutted when he got a tiny scratch on the front screen, insisting on showing it to me when I went to visit. He was going to try and polish it out - it was nothing a small mark.
I was so pleased he was pleased with it. Like a kid with a toy.
He's not a rich man, but far from poor. The sort who will buy well from the pay less buy twice philosophy.
An agreement is an agreement. He's the sort of honest guy who I would expect to live his life like that. That's why I am so annoyed.
Edited by wildcat45 on Sunday 9th February 20:17
Ari said:
In fact. I watched a film last night called 'The Pursuit Of Happyness'. OP, go to Amazon, buy it (£4.69), watch it, then come back here and tell us how much of an issue where a 'spare car you had hanging around' is serviced really is.
FFS.
Ari - I get that this is a first world problem. And understand why you would say FFS. FFS.
I've not seen the film but I know about the terrible life some people have. I have seen for myself how bad some lives are and with a good mate serioulsy ill with a life threatening condition, I know there is a lot worse to worry about. However my mate is a petrolhead and I am sure he would agree with me.
Its about a broken promise.
Edited by wildcat45 on Sunday 9th February 08:51
Edited by wildcat45 on Sunday 9th February 08:56
Edited by wildcat45 on Sunday 9th February 08:56
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