Noisy neighbour

[andrew_huxtable]

Not the biggest deal ever but really annoying. The old bird that sits next to me makes noises all the live long day, umm's ahh's meh's pah pah pahhh?? I do not think she knows she does it but it is making my life a misery.

All day long, it drives me mental, however I am on a contract so do not feel I can make an issue of it.

What to do eh?

[andrewrob]

Could always try the method of copying her every time she does it and make her feel self conscious.

[ReaderScars]

Make a discreet but good quality recording of the day's grunts, get someone to edit it down to Greatest Hits of about 30min, email it to her as an MP3 and ask for her opinion.

[andrew_huxtable]

Tried the mimic technique and she criticised me for it. Gonna record her on Monday and keep it safe.

Its st as I have to have earphones in all day as I want to kill her. I like listening to my tunes but not by force

[Foppo]

Ask her in for a cup of tea Andrew.Make a joke about her noises she might be lonely for a natter.

[ozzuk]

Foppo said:

Ask her in for a cup of tea Andrew.Make a joke about her noises she might be lonely for a natter.

LOL I think he means the old bird next to him in work. Either that or he has very thin walls.

[STW2010]

Have you asked her to stop?

If so, try 'look, just shut the fk up'. It'll either work, or you'll get sacked

[vx220]

Could be a mild Tourettes thing

In which case none of the above will work (for you...)

[Foppo]

STW2010 said:

Have you asked her to stop?

If so, try 'look, just shut the fk up'. It'll either work, or you'll get sacked

That is brave telling a woman to shut up.Just ask her to sleep with you.>

[Nuclearsquash]

I bet they don't hawk back whatever is the back of their nose every 5 minutes, of drum on their desk, or sound like they're having an orgasm when they eat their bloody orange every day.

[SimNugget]

Offshorers huh?

[griffin dai]

Sounds like a classic case of guerrilla warfare tactics required here.

Get a mean ruby in tonight, couple cans of Stella down your neck (resist going the toilet) then just drop your guts all day tomorrow, try to time it a few seconds after she makes the noise.

Trust me, she'll soon fk off

[elanfan]

Get yourself one of those remote control fart noise generators - stick it to the underside of her desk or somewhere where she won't easily find it and then fire it each time she makes one of her noises. if she complains don't get caught with the remote in your pocket. Or just say you had heard her farting and thought it was just another noise she had added to her repertoire.

Edited by elanfan on Wednesday 26th February 12:25

[z4chris99]

my mate at UBS got called into his bosses office and 'told off' because the bird who sits next to him complained about him making noises and eating smelly food.

[andrew_huxtable]

I am ready to kill her.

I cracked my fingers today and she told me to stop it. I about swung for the cheeky old cow