These made me chuckle

[keslake]

Two classics,

Sorry if they are reposts but always worth seeing.

[Ginetta G15 Girl]

Yawn!

[hidetheelephants]

Cloggies flying Tonkas? Sidewinder Air-to-Mud? What a steamy pile of cack.

[AlexIT]

Oh, come on, plenty of errors, but I'd imagine nevertheless such a situation and makes me laugh.

Another one I heard, not sure if it's true:

Back in the '60 a BA flight landed in Frankfurt,
the pilot asks for directions to the gate.

ATC quite annoyed for such a stupid question
-after all Frankfurt is a must-know for every German-:
"Have you never been in Frankfurt before?"

To which the pilot in perfect cool English replied:
"Yes twice in 1945, but I was in a hurry"

[Eric Mc]

BA came into being in 1974.

I think you need to do a little veracity checking on your sources.

[paintman]

^^^^
Usual version of that is this:
"Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,... and I didn't land." "

ETA. Few more here for you
http://www.businessballs.com/airtrafficcontrollers...

Edited by paintman on Friday 21st February 09:34

[Simpo Two]

Two more from the Falklands:

1) Argentinian pilot is approaching base and the tower ask him to report his height and position.
'Five foot four and sitting in the front'

(probably recycled from WW2)


2) General Galtieri set out to review his air force today. In a glass-bottomed boat.


Sadly we are not allowed to be beastly to the foreigners these days.

[AlexIT]

paintman said:

^^^^
Usual version of that is this....

Edited by paintman on Friday 21st February 09:34

Much better than what I recalled

[Ginetta G15 Girl]

paintman said:

^^^^
Usual version of that is this:

Only of course that is wrong, having been re-cycled many times.

It wasn't Frankfurt it was Dusseldorf.

It wasn't Pan-Am nor BA, it was BEA.

It wasn't a 747 it was a Trident.

Oh and it was in the very early 70's.



As for the Tornado with the Air-to-Ground Sidewinder ( ). it's been discussed here before and it is total and utter garbage.

[Eric Mc]

And the glass bottomed boat reference was usually about the Italian navy - and was no joke after the Taranto Raid in 1940.

[steve j]

Despite the Sidewinder being air to air, it has been used in the air to ground role. In Vietnam the F4 initialy was lacking a gun, the pilot managed to lock on to the smoke stack of a steam train and fired. The missile struck and destroyed the train, of course the 6 barrel 20mm gatling became available and it proved to be very effective indeed.

[Ginetta G15 Girl]

Please provide a reference.

Given that the kill ratio of the early Sidewinders in Vietnam was a paltry 16%, given that even the AIM9G had a problem with low level acquisition (ie it would acquire the ground and not the target), given the nature of the IR homing system on the early Sidewinder, I find this difficult to believe.

[paintman]

Ginetta G15 Girl said:

Only of course that is wrong, having been re-cycled many times.

It wasn't Frankfurt it was Dusseldorf.

It wasn't Pan-Am nor BA, it was BEA.

It wasn't a 747 it was a Trident.

Oh and it was in the very early 70's.

I'd be interested to see the link to the original version.

[Chapmanesque]

paintman said:

Ginetta G15 Girl said:

...Oh and it was in the very early 70's.

I'd be interested to see the link to the original version.

They didn't have the internet in the very early 1970's.

[paintman]

Didn't have it in 1901 either, but it still doesn't stop photos of Queen Victoria's funeral being on it

[Chapmanesque]

[paintman]

Don't think you quite grasp the concept of the parrot whoosh (Nice try though)

[Chapmanesque]

paintman said:

Don't think you quite grasp the concept of the parrot whoosh (Nice try though)

No, I do.

I don't think you quite grasp that my first post was a comment (hence the ) on the fact that whilst Eric the Anorak and the Misery Chick will disparage anyone else's anecdotal story, I very much doubt you'll get satisfactory evidence to confirm their unquestionable expertise, either.

All these stories are anecdotal: of course they change in the telling, and of course it's impossible to tell for certain what grain of truth (if any) they have in their origins, but they're just a bit of fun. Lighten up, guys, eh?

[Eric Mc]

We are the Guardians of The Truth.

(Or at least, the original tall tale).

My motto is, if you are going to spin a yarn, at least make it an original one.

[Ginetta G15 Girl]

Chapmanesque said:

Insults.

Oh do fk Off dhead.

The original 'story' was recorded in the M.E.T.S. (Multi-Engined Taining Squadron - Later 45(R)Sqn RAF Finningley) 'Line - Book' - a line book that had constantly been in use since the days of RAF Oakington. It was there when I went through in the late '80s.

I checked the story with a very good friend of mine (himself currently a BA Training Captain) who's father was a Training Captain on Tridents at the time, and was assured of its veracity.