RE: Freaks and weirdos: Geneva 2014
Thursday 6th March 2014
It must be all those Swiss bank accounts that bring the rich and tasteless to Geneva. With its gold-plated Mercs, frightful Ferrari conversions and unique carbon-fibre creations guided by Beelzebub himself, the annual motor show caters for them in a way few other car shows do. In the spirit of objective journalism we went round to talk to the companies who cater for these guys to ask about their creations, keeping a straight face at all times.
Lazareth Wazuma GT
Looking for a three-wheeler powered by a 375bhp Jaguar V8? Then Frenchman Ludovic Lazareth has your back. The Wazuma GT gets even weirder by being a three-wheeler with four wheels. Lazareth explains that in France as long as the width between the centre of one tyre to that of its mate isn't more than 46cm, it's a three-wheeler. Right... This Jaguar-engined car will set up back 150,000 euros, but he says you can have a Lamborghini V12 if you want. "Or anything," he shrugs Gallically. Or you can have a tricycle powered by a V8 from a Ferrari 328.
Carlsson Mercedes CS Versailles
Of course there was going to be a gold car. German tuner Carlsson applied over 1000 gold leaves to a new Mercedes S500, both to the body outside and to 300 parts inside, including the steering wheel. For the car and its goldness you'll pay 338,000 euros (£227,460) but you'll need to be in China, the only place it'll be sold. It was named for "Sun King" Louis XIV's famous French palace. "Look at his building, he also used a lot of gold. He was a bit crazy," a Carlsson PR guy told us. Opposite was the Mercedes stand. We wondered what the reaction had been. "They haven't said anything."
Binz GT-R
We don't get this one at all. The Binz GT-R tones down the standard Nissan to produce a version of that mighty car that's "more like a limousine and not so sporty", a spokesman told us. All for a mere 50,000 euros, not including car. So there are new bumpers and smaller wing, but at the same time, inexplicably, flasher exhaust pipe tips. The giant bill also gets a new leather, alcantara and carbon-fibre swaddled interior.
Hamann
There's something about Geneva that makes German tuner Hamann's 'wide-body' Range Rover Sport look normal. It's not normal. If you want all this fibreglass kit with the 23-inch wheels it'll cost you an extra 35,000 euros over the standard Autobiography V8. Salesman Savas Simsek at Hamann said this was an aerodynamic kit, but then admitted its sole purpose was to look more aggressive. The biggest market is likely to be China. "Asians like aggressive cars," he said.
Mansory Rolls-Royce Wraith
To achieve this look you'll need one of Rolls-Royce's Wraith coupes and an extra 250,000 euros. In return Mansory will replace the bumpers, rear wings and add side skirts in carbon-fibre versions while tuning the V12 engine to 740hp. Then paint it a tropical-fish green. There, much better.
Nimrod Katyusha
Into the bad-taste battle marches a company that makes Mansory look acceptable. Nimrod is a new firm owned by a Kuwaiti businessman living in Hungary who named the company for his dog. Which is a good moment to introduce Katyusha, a poor undeserving Ferrari 458 chopped about to look like an Enzo seemingly created from memory. Here are some facts. It's named for the Kuwaiti's Russian girlfriend, it costs 500,000 euros, the engine can be tuned to 1000hp. The less said about the Aventador on the stand the better.
FAB Design Lamborghini Aventador
Swiss tuner FAB goes to work on the Lamborghini Aventador to swap the bumper, side skirts and rear wing for 60,000 euros. Wheels are 20-inch front and 21-inch and the whole thing is painted CBeebies green. Boss Roland Rysanek admits the car was pretty good to start with, but says his mostly Russian and Middle Eastern customers want to be "really unique".
Sbarro Fleche Rouge
The Fleche Rouge (Red Arrow) is a glassfibre wrapped and tubular-framed vision of weirdness cooked up in the Swiss tuner's French academy. It apparently weighs about a tonne and is powered by a 1.6-litre turbo taking from a Citroen DS3. It's got pushrod suspension "like an F1 car" and is inspired by aircraft design (but not the Red Arrows, we were told). As a piece of student design it won't go into production, but we applaud the imagination that created something quite so, er, startling.
Freaks and weirdos: Geneva 2014
A tour of the Geneva show's tuners, customisers and embellishers (taste and decency not included)
Looking for a three-wheeler powered by a 375bhp Jaguar V8? Then Frenchman Ludovic Lazareth has your back. The Wazuma GT gets even weirder by being a three-wheeler with four wheels. Lazareth explains that in France as long as the width between the centre of one tyre to that of its mate isn't more than 46cm, it's a three-wheeler. Right... This Jaguar-engined car will set up back 150,000 euros, but he says you can have a Lamborghini V12 if you want. "Or anything," he shrugs Gallically. Or you can have a tricycle powered by a V8 from a Ferrari 328.
Of course there was going to be a gold car. German tuner Carlsson applied over 1000 gold leaves to a new Mercedes S500, both to the body outside and to 300 parts inside, including the steering wheel. For the car and its goldness you'll pay 338,000 euros (£227,460) but you'll need to be in China, the only place it'll be sold. It was named for "Sun King" Louis XIV's famous French palace. "Look at his building, he also used a lot of gold. He was a bit crazy," a Carlsson PR guy told us. Opposite was the Mercedes stand. We wondered what the reaction had been. "They haven't said anything."
We don't get this one at all. The Binz GT-R tones down the standard Nissan to produce a version of that mighty car that's "more like a limousine and not so sporty", a spokesman told us. All for a mere 50,000 euros, not including car. So there are new bumpers and smaller wing, but at the same time, inexplicably, flasher exhaust pipe tips. The giant bill also gets a new leather, alcantara and carbon-fibre swaddled interior.
There's something about Geneva that makes German tuner Hamann's 'wide-body' Range Rover Sport look normal. It's not normal. If you want all this fibreglass kit with the 23-inch wheels it'll cost you an extra 35,000 euros over the standard Autobiography V8. Salesman Savas Simsek at Hamann said this was an aerodynamic kit, but then admitted its sole purpose was to look more aggressive. The biggest market is likely to be China. "Asians like aggressive cars," he said.
To achieve this look you'll need one of Rolls-Royce's Wraith coupes and an extra 250,000 euros. In return Mansory will replace the bumpers, rear wings and add side skirts in carbon-fibre versions while tuning the V12 engine to 740hp. Then paint it a tropical-fish green. There, much better.
Into the bad-taste battle marches a company that makes Mansory look acceptable. Nimrod is a new firm owned by a Kuwaiti businessman living in Hungary who named the company for his dog. Which is a good moment to introduce Katyusha, a poor undeserving Ferrari 458 chopped about to look like an Enzo seemingly created from memory. Here are some facts. It's named for the Kuwaiti's Russian girlfriend, it costs 500,000 euros, the engine can be tuned to 1000hp. The less said about the Aventador on the stand the better.
Swiss tuner FAB goes to work on the Lamborghini Aventador to swap the bumper, side skirts and rear wing for 60,000 euros. Wheels are 20-inch front and 21-inch and the whole thing is painted CBeebies green. Boss Roland Rysanek admits the car was pretty good to start with, but says his mostly Russian and Middle Eastern customers want to be "really unique".
Bonkers on an Aventador, but mind scrambling on a McLaren P1, of which only 375 will be made. Who are you going to meet with another? Anyway, FAB has already gone to town on a black P1 seen on the stand, including adding carbon-fibre wheels. Ryansek was quick to point out that everything was reversible. A McLaren man we asked about the additional 'aero' quipped "Don't know why we didn't think of that..."
The Fleche Rouge (Red Arrow) is a glassfibre wrapped and tubular-framed vision of weirdness cooked up in the Swiss tuner's French academy. It apparently weighs about a tonne and is powered by a 1.6-litre turbo taking from a Citroen DS3. It's got pushrod suspension "like an F1 car" and is inspired by aircraft design (but not the Red Arrows, we were told). As a piece of student design it won't go into production, but we applaud the imagination that created something quite so, er, startling.
Discussion
Brilliant!
So funny... Good grief, aside from buying the car you trash and the money you spend trashing it, how much does a stand cost here? The amazing thing for me is they keep doing it, so either there is a constant stream of new rich wannabe car makers or, in Masonarys case, they actually sell them and show a profit!
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