Monkey does Geneva: PH Blog
Harris brings our Geneva coverage to its conclusion, having nearly been decked by Rolls-Royce security

A motor show stand is very much a static metaphor for the mental health of a car company. Five years ago BMW apologetically hid its performance backbone, now it flaunts it alongside the cleverest small car on sale, the i3. Shifting subject for a moment – can anyone understand how it, and the Tesla Model S, were beaten by the Peugeot 308 to the COTY prize? Me neither. We really shouldn’t be surprised by COTY awards, but somehow this years’ was even more transparently shoddy than most.
But on to better things: like the Lamborghini Huracan. Lately there has been spate of fast cars whose shapes were lavished with styling but with no thought for proportion. The new Lambo reverses the trend. It’s a startlingly clean shape, and rarely do four wheels sit so snugly within their recesses. Okay, the nose is a little snubby in the flesh, but overall this is the definition of a car that will sell on looks alone. I mean, does it really matter that the car is 1.5 seconds slower to 125mph than the McLaren 650S?
The McLaren’s styling is everything the Lambo’s is not – a little fussy and quite obviously a response to those who thought the 12C was too bland. I’ve always had a soft-spot for the 12C’s is-it-a-Lotus looks, and think I prefer it to this new model. Once spec variations have been equalised, the 650S is actually cheaper, so we can probably assume the 12C’s days are numbered.
If I’m cold-ish on the looks, the 650S’s dynamics could be very exciting. The P1 lays down McLaren’s driving DNA, and it’s a much more interactive, playful script than the one delivered by the 12C. If this new car, and the models that follow it, work from that genetic material, Ferrari will need to respond, because it really is that good.
But will people just buy a Huracan instead because it looks so damn good?
There were other expensive choices on display too. Rumour has it that Ferrari detuned the new turbo-California from over 600hp because it was just too fast. On the styling theme – isn’t it strange how just a few small tweaks can turn a munter into something graceful. I like the new Ferrari F-Type, I mean California.
It wasn’t as pretty as a the Maserati Concept, and whoever thought fitting the letters ‘Alf’ into its name must be oblivious to Italian motoring history and Fiat in-brand squabbles. Or very much aware of it, and in possession of an excellent sense of humour. Either way, if they made it, and it drove just half-decently and sounded right, the thing would sell. Oh, and they put some proper headlights on the Alfa 4C!
The small car prize went to the Renault Twingo. Rear-engined and rear-drive just as BMW turned to the dark side. Of course the only problem with Renault banking on small cars to revive its fortunes is that small cars don’t sell for much and margins are tight. But you can’t fault it for surprising us.
The new Audi TT was much criticized for looking like the last TT, but when you accidentally create the most iconic sports car shape of the past 20 years, you don’t chuck it away, do you? The new interior is fab, the proportions are right and for those in the market for this type of car it could be perfect. The 420hp Sport Concept was interesting too.
Merecdes was light on all-new product, just the new S-Class coupe which cleverly hides its imposing dimensions. Instead it rolled-out an integrated mobility package called Mercedes Me – an online portal that does everything you could possibly need in terms of personal transportation from buying a new car to renting; even ordering a taxi. On the surface, not as interesting as a Lamborghini, but when you try and visualise how we will buy and use cars in the next ten years, it could be an inspired move.
The Fiat stand had the best gratuitously pretty girls and the worst cars. That 500L seems to get worse the more you stare its gopping face. There’s talk of them dropping Lancia too, probably no bad thing.
And so the German domination of this industry continues. Rage against it if you must, but they’re making the most desirable cars right now. And thank you to the chaps from Rolls-Royce for rescuing me from the security guard near your stand. I thought she was going to deck me.
A video follows next Wednesday.
Chris
That Fiat may be sinfully ugly but only copies the MINI Countryman which set the trend in goppingness.
Far too many cars these days are gopping.
I like that twingo and assume that is it goes well, the idea may spread up to the Megane. Now that would be something and the thought of a brave new world filled with RWD rear-engined cars has it's appeal, albeit I'm not usre that fence post or pet animal is going to fit any more.
At least renault are thinking outside the box and Citroen's cactus shows they have finally given up chasing the Germans and realised we like quirky cars like the old Renault 4 and Citroen 2CV (always thought the old Ka was a modern 2CV).
In a way, all this crappo safety legislation may yet prove useful in a new creative interpretation of the motor car. has to be good inb the long run.
That Fiat may be sinfully ugly but only copies the MINI Countryman which set the trend in goppingness.
Far too many cars these days are gopping.
I like that twingo and assume that is it goes well, the idea may spread up to the Megane. Now that would be something and the thought of a brave new world filled with RWD rear-engined cars has it's appeal, albeit I'm not usre that fence post or pet animal is going to fit any more.
At least renault are thinking outside the box and Citroen's cactus shows they have finally given up chasing the Germans and realised we like quirky cars like the old Renault 4 and Citroen 2CV (always thought the old Ka was a modern 2CV).
In a way, all this crappo safety legislation may yet prove useful in a new creative interpretation of the motor car. has to be good inb the long run.

oh and Chris Harris, shame on you for your Lancia comment....shame on you. They're only in the postion they're in because of a lack of decent investment and models....Alfa were close for some time. None of the age old marques should be allowed to fold so easily

oh and Chris Harris, shame on you for your Lancia comment....shame on you. They're only in the postion they're in because of a lack of decent investment and models....Alfa were close for some time. None of the age old marques should be allowed to fold so easily
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