The return of 'What Should I Do At Work Tonight ?'

[Dibble]

Nights tonight (2100-0700), only traffic car for the entire Division (100ish square miles, big towns, market towns, villages and miles and miles of roads).

So in between going to the pub fights, missing persons, taking crime details of "stolen" mobile phones and handbags, juvenile nuisance, assaults, backing up the Ambulance crews, what would the PH collective like me to do tonight?

All replies before 2000 please, that's when I leave for work.

[Fat Audi 80]

Dibble said:

Nights tonight (2100-0700), only traffic car for the entire Division (100ish square miles, big towns, market towns, villages and miles and miles of roads). So in between going to the pub fights, missing persons, taking crime details of "stolen" mobile phones and handbags, juvenile nuisance, assaults, backing up the Ambulance crews, what would the PH collective like me to do tonight? All replies before 2000 please, that's when I leave for work.

Brilliant

Dear Jim,

Please can you fix it for me for all forgetfull foglight uses to be issues with an FPN to remind them how annoying it is for every one else. Also, please could you patrol any local m/way and stop all CLOC members for a talking to?

Thanks,

Steve.

[thub]

How about warning pished pedestrians that the pavement is the safest place to be?

[TheLemming]

Dibble said:

Nights tonight (2100-0700), only traffic car for the entire Division (100ish square miles, big towns, market towns, villages and miles and miles of roads). So in between going to the pub fights, missing persons, taking crime details of "stolen" mobile phones and handbags, juvenile nuisance, assaults, backing up the Ambulance crews, what would the PH collective like me to do tonight? All replies before 2000 please, that's when I leave for work.

The force has ONE traffic car for 100 square miles of terrain? Perhaps a thousand miles of roads or more?

My god this is hideously underfunded... Instead of the hypothecation agreeement with speed cameras if only they spent it on POLICE.

Good luck Dibble, it sounds like you need it

[minornut]

Nick every laxxer/chav that crosses your path they're bound to be doing something wrong - its genetic

[cliffe_mafia]

Don said:

Nick some Foglight Numpties for light relief...

Dibble can you start with the defective light numpties first...

I always wonder what state their brakes are in if they won't even pay 50p for a new bulb.

I saw a van and a car doing motorbike impressions on the M60 last week

[Muncher]

Target the real criminals, you task, should you choose to accept it is:

1) Arrest someone for driving under the influence of drink or drugs.

2) Arrest someone for TWOCing

3) Arrest someone for no insurance/license/unroadworthy vehicle.

4) Arrest someone using their vehicle for serious criminal purposes.

[gsx600]

How about burnouts / donuts down the high street.

Race every maxxed Astra you see

Stop every Mondeo and say to them nice driving before speeding of leaving 100 metres of black tyre marks



As you are the only traffic car no one else will be able to go after you. Any vacancies ?

[autismuk]

Dibble said:

Nights tonight (2100-0700), only traffic car for the entire Division (100ish square miles, big towns, market towns, villages and miles and miles of roads). So in between going to the pub fights, missing persons, taking crime details of "stolen" mobile phones and handbags, juvenile nuisance, assaults, backing up the Ambulance crews, what would the PH collective like me to do tonight? All replies before 2000 please, that's when I leave for work.

Welll.... you can't do *anything* can you.

I don't doubt you are right. Our (apparently much praised) local force has two policemen for half of Norwich.

This is much the same provision as you provide - virtually nothing. (this is obviously not a criticism of you).

There is no real deterrent ; all you can do is respond, and you'll pick up a very infrequent traffic violator.

What's unnerving is from your description of your 100 sq miles (which is only 10x10 miles) you must be somewhere fairly built up.

[Plotloss]

Pinch someone for posession then give it back to them obviously telling them to be more careful in future.

Thats a memory that will live with someone forever...

What better gift?

If you cant do that could you nip down to Berkshire and arrest my old landlady? Any charge will do, ideally peadophile related...

[gsx600]

Plotloss said:

If you cant do that could you nip down to Berkshire and arrest my old landlady? Any charge will do, ideally peadophile related...

No no no you can't do that you might catch me in a stolen maxxed out Astra doing donuts up the highstreet !!

[Pies]

Grab a nice doughnut

[superlightr]

If you are in an unmarked car - pull some tailgaters pls.


Can you pull a mumptie in a 4x4 brat carrier with/without children who is doing more then 30 in town or with fog lights on. (bet the kids are not strapped in correctly or child seats incorectly fitted - thus maybe help preventing the child from injury and educating the mumptie as to how to secure their child)

Hope you have a good walk around the cars you stop.

[IOLAIRE]

Dibble said:

Nights tonight (2100-0700), only traffic car for the entire Division (100ish square miles, big towns, market towns, villages and miles and miles of roads). So in between going to the pub fights, missing persons, taking crime details of "stolen" mobile phones and handbags, juvenile nuisance, assaults, backing up the Ambulance crews, what would the PH collective like me to do tonight? All replies before 2000 please, that's when I leave for work.

My heart goes out to you Dibble, it really does.
How can you possibly be in all those places at once and cope with all the incidents that are guaranteed on a Friday night.
I think my priorities when placed in a situation of overwork would be to concentrate on the most serious crimes, everything else would be secondary.

[mcflurry]

IOLAIRE said:

I think my priorities when placed in a situation of overwork would be to concentrate on the most serious crimes, everything else would be secondary.

On a personal level maybe. But that doesn't help all the people whose car stereos went walkabouts, house windows smashed etc etc.
The system ain't working...

[blueyes]

Tell us where the best bit of driving road is on your patch.... then promise NOT to go anywhere near it.... we'll do the rest!

[spaximus]

What I would do is using your powers of deduction find out all the tosspot councillors who are on the police or traffic committe and then follow them from the pub and as soon as they speed, jay walk, drop litter or do anything arrest them and show them what idiotic people they are for A swallowing the speed kills mentality and B for allowing the police to be so demoralised and afraid to do their jobs for fear of being wrong whatever they do.

[IOLAIRE]

mcflurry said:

IOLAIRE said: I think my priorities when placed in a situation of overwork would be to concentrate on the most serious crimes, everything else would be secondary. On a personal level maybe. But that doesn't help all the people whose car stereos went walkabouts, house windows smashed etc etc. The system ain't working...

Agreed, but that's not Dibble's fault, or indeed any other officers. They are at the receiving end of having to cope with such gross undermanning.

[Dibble]

[redacted]