Driving Lice, Excise Lice, next the Human Licence.
Discussion
Now I know that a lot of you have some problem relating to renewing documention
regarding your vehicle so though I would put out a warning to start to get matters sorted
as another bit of documentation is planned for 2007 - 2008 and compulsory by 2014.
In addition to your Driving Licence etc you will need:
A HUMAN LICENCE.
Offences already lined up are:
Fail to sign onto Database &2,500
Fail to renew Licence
Submitting spoiled application
Fail to notify change of address - all &1,000 fine.
Tampering with the Licence database - 10 years imprisonment.
Cost of a licence : Current estimate 85 pounds but likely to rise.
Authority: IDENTITY CARD BILL 2004.
Ever get the impression that you will soon need a Licence to fart?
DVD
Dwight VanDriver said:
Ever get the impression that you will soon need a Licence to fart?
DVD
Yup. And I suspect we'll be taxed on our emissions, too! They'll probably be a "greenhouse fart" tax levied on a range of foods depending on their human-digestive-gaseous-emission rating.
And Baked Beans will be banned outright.
They'll be a blanket ban on farting in public places - with particle detectors placed at strategic locations to catch offenders, photograph them with new "FARTSO" (TM), use biometric facial identification systems to send a bill to your house - which will only be polite since they'll just Direct Debit your bank account anyway.
All humour aside - things are not going well.
Dwight VanDriver said:sounds like a tax for the privilege of being born. Soon they will be taxing the dead for the usage of cemeteries (or polluting the air if cremated). Why not, they already tax us for having a place to stay when we are alive (even if it's paid for in full).
Cost of a licence : Current estimate 85 pounds but likely to rise.
supraman2954 said:
sounds like a tax for the privilege of being born. Soon they will be taxing the dead for the usage of cemeteries (or polluting the air if cremated). Why not, they already tax us for having a place to stay when we are alive (even if it's paid for in full).
There ist saying...
Nowt as sure in life as death und taxes
Und they take the tax in advance off the dead in death duties ......
Und they charge for funerals, plot in cemetery, und the cremation ......
But ... they will no doubt levy a further annual charge und call it fee for tending grave.
Dwight VanDriver said:
Now I know that a lot of you have some problem relating to renewing documention
regarding your vehicle so though I would put out a warning to start to get matters sorted
as another bit of documentation is planned for 2007 - 2008 and compulsory by 2014.
In addition to your Driving Licence etc you will need:
A HUMAN LICENCE.
Offences already lined up are:
Fail to sign onto Database &2,500
Fail to renew Licence
Submitting spoiled application
Fail to notify change of address - all &1,000 fine.
Tampering with the Licence database - 10 years imprisonment.
Cost of a licence : Current estimate 85 pounds but likely to rise.
Authority: IDENTITY CARD BILL 2004.
Grew up in country which has always had ID cards... but ID cards were affordable ... £85 is heck of a lot of money ... especially to thos on minimum wage or benefit (though I would suppose the high cost is our subsidising others
as per usual ) But ... read that you receive this when you apply or renew passport (which carries this increased cost to fund the ID card
) If I already have a passport then ... why do I need another document to say who I am? As one of them wimmin ... am likely to have passport und ID card together in handbag .... und if I am mugged... someone can then pretend to be me - the toppest scientist und driver
(Though I do have Swiss documents ....) Und would they check my details on the application? If I got hold of someone's birth certificate (as the baddy did in that "Jackal" film...), then I could nick that person's ID....
Und not exactly in toppest bracket for introducing new computer systems....
CSA, Work und Pensions und there have been others .... und what about that fiasco when they updated the computer system in Passport Office .... und demanded children also had passport for hols abroad ......seem to remember a right old ding-dong at time mit people queueing at the offices und temporary ones being issued at Post Office so that folks could go on jollies....
Und in any case .... they are bringing this in yet again under false pretences.... in name of "danger from terrorists"
Er
those who flew the planes into Twin Towers had all the legal documents they needed .....und so would any "sleeper" terrorist .... und serious criminal..... Dwight VanDriver said:
Ever get the impression that you will soon need a Licence to fart?
DVD
Und a licence to go to the toilet und.....
Und a licence to have sex ("sold to us sensible law abiding adults" under urgent measures to stop teenagers procreating .. of course
) Und even then ... they would dictate when.... Und probably they would then introduce ID card for unborn as well....woman would have to declare "change of status" on the ID card ... as this will also raise revenue....
Und what will our dictators do mit all the extra cash.... ensure their pension funds are topped up, that they get rises above inflation levels, und live the good life....und their own ID cards? We pay for those too.....
Tis a right little earner they have there ... to replace the little earner from s/cams (when no-one can legally drive as we have all been banned...)
>> Edited by WildCat on Tuesday 30th November 09:52
Don said:
Ever get the impression that you will soon need a Licence to fart?
DVD
Yup. And I suspect we'll be taxed on our emissions, too! They'll probably be a "greenhouse fart" tax levied on a range of foods depending on their human-digestive-gaseous-emission rating.
And Baked Beans will be banned outright.
They'll be a blanket ban on farting in public places - with particle detectors placed at strategic locations to catch offenders, photograph them with new "FARTSO" (TM), use biometric fecal identification systems to send a bill to your house - which will only be polite since they'll just Direct Debit your bank account anyway.
All humour aside - things are not going well.
I wonder if there will be a "methane credits" system introduced.
(I'll swap three loud burps for one smelly fart)
Pigeon said:
I wonder if there will be a "methane credits" system introduced.
(I'll swap three loud burps for one smelly fart)
How many farts is a belch during which you can articulate the phrase "The Archbishop of Canterbury" worth?
You get 10 extra points for burping "Never could Nebuchadnezzar be king of the Jews"
k it, I'm becoming a pikie - no taxes, no ID cards, completely above the law, no need to work, no need for planning permission...Already here, well over there
Full article
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/3005740.stm
bbc said:
The proposed flatulence tax is expected to raise NZ$8.4m a year ($4.9m) from next year
Full article
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/3005740.stm
love machine said:
There will be hell up. I for one carry nothing in my pockets 99% of the time and I'm not going to change that for anyone. I have nothing to hide but take it as an infringement of my freedom.
Just watch what happens when they try and introduce it.
Yep we need to establish the punishment squads now these people need to have their freedom to be elected severely curtailed.
The level of overorganisation is astounding. The next step will have to be limiting the individuals access to global communications. As things stand the press is far from free and the only way the majority of people are able to express opinions and question the actions of the ruling elite with like minded people is by using the explosion in information technology such as t'interweb and the mobile phones networks (in terms of deseminating information and organising events). How long before even this medium is tighly controlled in the interests of public safety?
MilnerR said:
The level of overorganisation is astounding. The next step will have to be limiting the individuals access to global communications. As things stand the press is far from free and the only way the majority of people are able to express opinions and question the actions of the ruling elite with like minded people is by using the explosion in information technology such as t'interweb and the mobile phones networks (in terms of deseminating information and organising events). How long before even this medium is tighly controlled in the interests of public safety?
You are joking, but the politicians are not. Witness:
a) The attempt 3 weeks ago by 2 Belgian politicians to introduce a compulsory registration/licence requirement for all personal computers in Belgium (www.theregister.co.uk/2004/11/12/belgian_politicians_want_computer_licences/)
b) "Blunder" Blunkett's proposed amendments to the Criminal Justice act which will include powers to ban people from using the Internet. (www.theregister.co.uk/2004/11/21/blunkett_internet_ban/)
At this rate we'll have logo's painted onto our doors to indicate our religion soon...
>> Edited by corozin on Wednesday 1st December 17:16
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