Social anxiety
Discussion
Does anyone else here suffer from social anxiety? I had it really bad since high school and i'm getting really pissed about it now.
About 2 months ago i had a drug induced panic attack (first year uni student, cannabis, nothing out of the ordinary) anyway for the past few months I've had extremely bad general anxiety/panic attacks, constant dread your going to go crazy, die with no apparent source. Anyway i started taking Citalopram last week and it seems to be dying off, still there a bit but definitely going.
My social anxiety is still there though as strong as ever, i've recently just completed my first year in university and while making many good friends along the way it has still held me back, avoiding presentations, not joining up to any societies that i wanted to do and spending most of my lectures thinking about what the girl sat behind me is thinking about the pants i have on rather than the actual course content.
If someone doesn't understand social anxiety then here's a snapshot,
I've finally just plucked up the courage to apply for jobs today, emailing lots of cv's off (avoiding calling anyone incase, erm... I'm not sure), then feeling anxious about someone calling back.
Inevitably someone rang back, after 3 seconds of panic as the phone rang i finally picked it up said hello and was met with someone hanging up, annoying after all that panic. As i put the phone down my heart was beating very rapidly my voice was wobbly and my arms were shaking, all over a damn phone call about a bloody domino's delivery job!
It's a lot, lot, lot better than a lot of s
tty things you can have wrong with you/situations to be in out there but i just had to vent my frustration with myself somewhere, what a tt.
About 2 months ago i had a drug induced panic attack (first year uni student, cannabis, nothing out of the ordinary) anyway for the past few months I've had extremely bad general anxiety/panic attacks, constant dread your going to go crazy, die with no apparent source. Anyway i started taking Citalopram last week and it seems to be dying off, still there a bit but definitely going.
My social anxiety is still there though as strong as ever, i've recently just completed my first year in university and while making many good friends along the way it has still held me back, avoiding presentations, not joining up to any societies that i wanted to do and spending most of my lectures thinking about what the girl sat behind me is thinking about the pants i have on rather than the actual course content.
If someone doesn't understand social anxiety then here's a snapshot,
I've finally just plucked up the courage to apply for jobs today, emailing lots of cv's off (avoiding calling anyone incase, erm... I'm not sure), then feeling anxious about someone calling back.
Inevitably someone rang back, after 3 seconds of panic as the phone rang i finally picked it up said hello and was met with someone hanging up, annoying after all that panic. As i put the phone down my heart was beating very rapidly my voice was wobbly and my arms were shaking, all over a damn phone call about a bloody domino's delivery job!
It's a lot, lot, lot better than a lot of s
tty things you can have wrong with you/situations to be in out there but i just had to vent my frustration with myself somewhere, what a tt.Edited by jmflare on Tuesday 17th June 18:29
Edited by jmflare on Tuesday 17th June 19:32
Hi, yes i have suffered with it, and other disorders also which i will keep off here but which brought it all to a head a couple years back now. i had it quite bad and was often physically sick on work mornings or before any kind of social event, even if i knew everyone well!!
Citalopram, and most other anti depressants can take well over two weeks to even start to work properly but I'm just wondering, if your doctor is approachable, if he would consider changing your medication before you get to used to it. Before the medication i am on now (hospital prescribed) my doctor put me on prescription anti histamine called hydroxyzine, that worked really well and i took it for a while but then other issues arose and i am now on Mirtazapine which is also excellent and my anxiety is under control.
It could be your medication will start to work for you but if after another week you are no better then i suggest you go to your GP and mention the two i have suggested.
Best of luck, i know how horrible the disorder is so don't be frustrated by it, keep on at your doctor, hopefully you find something that works for you.
Citalopram, and most other anti depressants can take well over two weeks to even start to work properly but I'm just wondering, if your doctor is approachable, if he would consider changing your medication before you get to used to it. Before the medication i am on now (hospital prescribed) my doctor put me on prescription anti histamine called hydroxyzine, that worked really well and i took it for a while but then other issues arose and i am now on Mirtazapine which is also excellent and my anxiety is under control.
It could be your medication will start to work for you but if after another week you are no better then i suggest you go to your GP and mention the two i have suggested.
Best of luck, i know how horrible the disorder is so don't be frustrated by it, keep on at your doctor, hopefully you find something that works for you.
Defcon5 said:
Isn't that just normal? Or do I have this too ha!
Lots of people seem to think it's a made up problem. Is it normal to avoid going into subway on my own because the thought of queuing up and buying a sandwich fills me with terror for no rational reason.Fotic said:
Lay off the weed.
Not really into the stuff, i've only done it twice, but was stuck at my uni flat bored without the car. Won't be touching it again though, definitely doesn't agree with me.x 7usc said:
Hi, yes i have suffered with it, and other disorders also which i will keep off here but which brought it all to a head a couple years back now. i had it quite bad and was often physically sick on work mornings or before any kind of social event, even if i knew everyone well!!
Citalopram, and most other anti depressants can take well over two weeks to even start to work properly but I'm just wondering, if your doctor is approachable, if he would consider changing your medication before you get to used to it. Before the medication i am on now (hospital prescribed) my doctor put me on prescription anti histamine called hydroxyzine, that worked really well and i took it for a while but then other issues arose and i am now on Mirtazapine which is also excellent and my anxiety is under control.
It could be your medication will start to work for you but if after another week you are no better then i suggest you go to your GP and mention the two i have suggested.
Best of luck, i know how horrible the disorder is so don't be frustrated by it, keep on at your doctor, hopefully you find something that works for you.
Thanks, i've read Citalopram can take a while to work, i have an appointment with him in 2 weeks so might mention those then Citalopram, and most other anti depressants can take well over two weeks to even start to work properly but I'm just wondering, if your doctor is approachable, if he would consider changing your medication before you get to used to it. Before the medication i am on now (hospital prescribed) my doctor put me on prescription anti histamine called hydroxyzine, that worked really well and i took it for a while but then other issues arose and i am now on Mirtazapine which is also excellent and my anxiety is under control.
It could be your medication will start to work for you but if after another week you are no better then i suggest you go to your GP and mention the two i have suggested.
Best of luck, i know how horrible the disorder is so don't be frustrated by it, keep on at your doctor, hopefully you find something that works for you.
Steviesam said:
Citalopram will take 6 - 8 weeks tgo work properly.
But it will gradually get better over that time.
It may get worse due the drug in the first 2 weeks.
Stick it out.
And lay off the weed.
I had an incredibly bad experience with Citalopram. It's not beer and skittles all the way, even after a couple of months. But it will gradually get better over that time.
It may get worse due the drug in the first 2 weeks.
Stick it out.
And lay off the weed.
CBT is definitely the preferred option as wonders can be achieved in a relatively short time. The important thing to remember is what works for one person may not work for another. Some people can relieve their anxiety with drugs and some with mastering coping techniques.
Rawwr said:
I had an incredibly bad experience with Citalopram. It's not beer and skittles all the way, even after a couple of months.
CBT is definitely the preferred option as wonders can be achieved in a relatively short time. The important thing to remember is what works for one person may not work for another. Some people can relieve their anxiety with drugs and some with mastering coping techniques.
I'm currently only on 10mg, i've had the spacey feeling, insomnia and ringing in the ears up to now. I've heard of much worse though.CBT is definitely the preferred option as wonders can be achieved in a relatively short time. The important thing to remember is what works for one person may not work for another. Some people can relieve their anxiety with drugs and some with mastering coping techniques.
I've heard good things about CBT, still a little skeptical on how it works though.
Edited by jmflare on Tuesday 17th June 22:31
Short term CBT may well help. Long term some kind of psychodynamic counselling/therapy may be better. There are a number of different models of practice. At some stage during your first or second meeting with the therapist will be asked if you think something happened at high school which triggered these attacks.
jmflare said:
I'm currently only on 10mg, i've had the spacey feeling, insomnia and ringing in the ears up to now. I've heard of much worse though.
I've heard good things about CBT, still a little skeptical on how it works though.
There's absolutely no need or reason to be in any way skeptical of CBT. Your behavioural issues exist. You need to learn how to deal with these issues in day-to-day life. CBT will teach you how to do this. There's no mumbo-jumbo, not psychoanalytic searching through your past trying to figure out why, you just accept the situation for what it is and learn to deal with it.I've heard good things about CBT, still a little skeptical on how it works though.
Edited by jmflare on Tuesday 17th June 22:31
Treat it like any other challenge - learning to drive, for example. Remember when you were first learning? It was a rainy November evening in the rush hour. You were supposed to be getting into the correct road position, getting the right gear, checking your mirror, indicating, looking for a gap in the traffic to make that right turn safely. You couldn't understand how anyone could master this impossible set of skills.
Then you learnt those skills. Now it seems so easy, you can't understand what anyone could have any problem with driving, it's a piece of piss.
Your current social anxiety is due to the fact that you lack the necessary skill set to deal with the situations you find yourself in. Go out an learn those skills and you'll be fine.
Gaspode said:
There's absolutely no need or reason to be in any way skeptical of CBT. Your behavioural issues exist. You need to learn how to deal with these issues in day-to-day life. CBT will teach you how to do this. There's no mumbo-jumbo, not psychoanalytic searching through your past trying to figure out why, you just accept the situation for what it is and learn to deal with it.
Treat it like any other challenge - learning to drive, for example. Remember when you were first learning? It was a rainy November evening in the rush hour. You were supposed to be getting into the correct road position, getting the right gear, checking your mirror, indicating, looking for a gap in the traffic to make that right turn safely. You couldn't understand how anyone could master this impossible set of skills.
Then you learnt those skills. Now it seems so easy, you can't understand what anyone could have any problem with driving, it's a piece of piss.
Your current social anxiety is due to the fact that you lack the necessary skill set to deal with the situations you find yourself in. Go out an learn those skills and you'll be fine.
OP, this is extremely good advice. I suggest you take it. It even has a car analogy which is awesome.Treat it like any other challenge - learning to drive, for example. Remember when you were first learning? It was a rainy November evening in the rush hour. You were supposed to be getting into the correct road position, getting the right gear, checking your mirror, indicating, looking for a gap in the traffic to make that right turn safely. You couldn't understand how anyone could master this impossible set of skills.
Then you learnt those skills. Now it seems so easy, you can't understand what anyone could have any problem with driving, it's a piece of piss.
Your current social anxiety is due to the fact that you lack the necessary skill set to deal with the situations you find yourself in. Go out an learn those skills and you'll be fine.
It takes a certain amount of humility to admit you lack a skill set, but it's not uncommon, and it's the only real solution in my experience.
You'll be fine. Try and socialise as much as you can, uni is the perfect environment to sort this out.
Lastly remember your meds are to help you whilst you get it sorted, they're not curative.
You sound like I was at your age. I had a terrible bout of this for quite an extended period. I tried to medicate it with alcohol for a long time but that just made things worse. In those days panic attacks and social anxiety weren't known about that much. Eventually a new doctor suggested I get myself to the gym. It worked better than I can ever tell you. Cardio will burn off all your stress and anxieties and weights will make you feel better about yourself. You'll meet a lot of new people and you'll gain a lot of confidence. Working out releases a lot of good endorphins which in my opinion work much better than than the antidepressants/antianxieties. The only problem is you'll end up addicted to the gym like myself. Although that's a lot better than being addicted to booze or drugs. A good gym can be as good as a good pub for friendship and banter etc only you're getting fitter instead of drinking yourself to death!
Also for immediate and long term relief of anxiety try diaphragm breathing like this
http://www.anxietycoach.com/breathingexercise.html
This is another thing that really helped me. Its also amazing how many people I see doing this in stressful situations. I work in a job which presents these situations all the time and its amazing how many bellies you see going in and out!
Don't hum and hah about this and come up with excuses not to. Just do it. I wish some one had told me this years earlier!
Also for immediate and long term relief of anxiety try diaphragm breathing like this
http://www.anxietycoach.com/breathingexercise.html
This is another thing that really helped me. Its also amazing how many people I see doing this in stressful situations. I work in a job which presents these situations all the time and its amazing how many bellies you see going in and out!
Don't hum and hah about this and come up with excuses not to. Just do it. I wish some one had told me this years earlier!
Gaspode said:
CBT will teach you how to do this. There's no mumbo-jumbo, not psychoanalytic searching through your past trying to figure out why, you just accept the situation for what it is and learn to deal with it.
CBT may well work in the short term. However it's viewed very much as a 'take this pill and you'll get better' approach that doesn't/can't address any underlying issues, if there are any. 
goldblum said:
CBT may well work in the short term. However it's viewed very much as a 'take this pill and you'll get better' approach that doesn't/can't address any underlying issues, if there are any.
I'm curious what you mean?Personalities are considered to be broadly "fixed" by psychiatrists.
So if the problem stems from this (and I am making an assumption here I don't know this chap) you can therefore only mitigate the underlying issue, using things like CBT and careful use of medications. Ultimately modifying behaviour.
There is no cure for most people. They just learn to have the courage to function in spite of their difficulties and fears and it becomes easier.
goldblum said:
CBT may well work in the short term. However it's viewed very much as a 'take this pill and you'll get better' approach that doesn't/can't address any underlying issues, if there are any.
Obsessing about underlying issues simply leads to years of introspection and angst, which benefits no-one apart from the counsellor or psychiatrist. How you feel is determined by how you behave, not the other way round. That's why exercise, proper breathing (capnotherapy) and techniques like CBT and mindfulness work. It's why techniques like Freudian psychotherapy, regression, and all the other pseudo bks doesn't.Prof Prolapse said:
Personalities are considered to be broadly "fixed" by psychiatrists.
So if the problem stems from this (and I am making an assumption here I don't know this chap) you can therefore only mitigate the underlying issue, using things like CBT and careful use of medications. Ultimately modifying behaviour.
There is no cure for most people. They just learn to have the courage to function in spite of their difficulties and fears and it becomes easier.
Psychiatrists deal with mental disorder, psychologists with behaviour and cognitive issues.So if the problem stems from this (and I am making an assumption here I don't know this chap) you can therefore only mitigate the underlying issue, using things like CBT and careful use of medications. Ultimately modifying behaviour.
There is no cure for most people. They just learn to have the courage to function in spite of their difficulties and fears and it becomes easier.
As I have said CBT and medication is often seen as a 'patch' to address simple issues. More complex issues can need more than 'what's the problem?'-> 'Do this, take this pill and you're cured'. This is not 'mitigating the underlying issue', it's covering it up. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. The mind is extremely complex and decades of research has shown that issues cannot be pigeon-holed quite so easily.
"There is no cure for most people."
A bold statement. May I ask what your qualifications are?
I've had very similar issues, not wanting to join clubs because people might not like me, mine manifested itself worse as a paranoia about being attacked in the street. I couldnt even walk down my drive way in the dark as I thought someone was waiting for me (note I have never been attacked by anyone) I honestly thought it was normal, that everyone must have the same kind of issues.
In January I decided to get fit, started eating better and working out 4 - 6 times a week. I noticed that after a week or so I was no longer practically running down the street constantly looking behind me. Things got so much better. Six months later and I'm a different person, feel more like me than I have in years. I don't worry about meeting new people, I start a new job in 2 weeks, yet have not had the confidence in myself for years to apply for anything due to my anxiety.
By all means carry on with the tablets and the CBT but I would try exercising, doesn't have to be the gym, can just be walking a mile, running, football, cycling. Do things on your own until your confident enough to join a club. It's amazing how great you feel when you start using your body for more than just sitting around.
In January I decided to get fit, started eating better and working out 4 - 6 times a week. I noticed that after a week or so I was no longer practically running down the street constantly looking behind me. Things got so much better. Six months later and I'm a different person, feel more like me than I have in years. I don't worry about meeting new people, I start a new job in 2 weeks, yet have not had the confidence in myself for years to apply for anything due to my anxiety.
By all means carry on with the tablets and the CBT but I would try exercising, doesn't have to be the gym, can just be walking a mile, running, football, cycling. Do things on your own until your confident enough to join a club. It's amazing how great you feel when you start using your body for more than just sitting around.
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