How to tackle weight loss/life negativity?

[ColdSyphon]

First thing’s first, I’m overweight and have been throughout my teens, it was at its worst in my early twenties and continues to dog me in my mid to late twenties. I have started to do something about it, though it fluctuates far too much for my liking. Over the last 6 years or so I have dropped 7 stone, but could really do with dropping at least another 5 or 6 for me to be what I’d consider normal. I eat pretty healthily on the whole but I know my problems are twofold; I eat too much given my sedentary job and general lack of an active lifestyle and my biggest vice is snacking on high-cal products like chocolate and cakes when I’m bored, though I do this much less than before.

Recently, my weight-loss has plateaued and I think that losing 10 pounds, whilst still a loss is pretty fking pathetic given I’m now 6-months in and ideally I’d like to have lost 2 stone by the end of the year.
I find that if I slip-up at all, I beat myself up relentlessly for it which then starts a vicious cycle of feeling like crap then resorting to comfort foods, which I hate myself for eating and on and on it goes.

The other issue is that I think I have a tendency to worry about things and I generally hold myself in low-regard. Instead of looking at the fact I’ve lost and kept off 7 stone, I just think I’m a failure for fking up again during the day.

What annoys me is that I don’t think I’m one of the fatties who’re in denial – I know where I’m going wrong, which in a way, makes it worse because you’d think it’d be easier to tackle it. Being overweight is st, it’s unattractive and I’m pretty damn sure that at 27 it’s held/holding me back from looking and feeling good, attracting any kind of girlfriend (have been single without a glimmer for years) and means you end up spending a fortune on clothes which aren’t that fashionable because you can only go to a niche set of shops

I guess the advice/opinions I’d like are:

1) For those who transformed from oafs into Adonis, what I’d like to know is *how* you managed to turn yourselves around, what did you dig into during the darker moments when it can feel like a lot of effort and tiredness for not much return?

2) How can I help turn around my state of mind, because I’m pretty damn sure that if that was sorted then really beating the fatty would be much easier and feel more achievable than it does right now.

[Hoofy]

Well, you already know the answer to the weight issue - you're eating too much for your goal weight.

However, your issues over your self-worth will not be fixed by losing weight. They're much deeper than one too many pies. Lose weight for your health, of course, but I'd recommend seeking the help of a professional for what sounds like self-worth issues.

[t400ble]

I think you need to seek professional advice with regards to your state of mind

Never got this 'feel depressed eat st food thing'

I have lost 2 and 1/2 stone in a year and found it easy.

I'm 16 stone now, and gunning for 15!

Paul

[e21Mark]

I used to be 6' 3", 17 stone and 34" waist till about 5 years ago and I've steadily increased in weight. Part of the reason was a near fatal car crash, life changing injuries and an inability to be as active as I once was. I'm at a point though, where my weight and perceived body image are making me unhappy and stopping me doing the things I enjoy. I've also fallen into the habit of comfort foods and large portions. I don't want to sound like I'm not accepting responsibility though, because no one put a pasty to my head and said eat!

In the past 2 weeks though, I've made changes. The most obvious is portion control! I was left hungry after meals initially, but now it's simply not an issue and those smaller meals fill me up. I've also done obvious things, such as avoiding cakes, biscuits etc. I never ate loads but it's far easier to abstain all together than try and police amounts. I also increased the fruit and veg intake, which I combined with drinking plenty of water. My doctor said that in drinking cold water, the body burns calories heating it up! It's the flushing through of your system that is the greatest benefit though!

So, 2 weeks in and I've lost over half a stone and my jeans are now looser than they were. I can actually see a difference in some areas and that in itself has boosted my moral. I still have a good few stone to lose but, so long as I continue with what I'm doing, there's no reason why I won't make it.

I also suffered Post Traumatic Stress after my accident. Low self worth and low self esteem had me in tears most days. I ended up seeking professional help and just hearing someone else's perspective was a massive help to me. I also learned that self esteem comes from doing things for others. I became a volunteer and it shifted my whole outlook on life. I know it sounds corny but the more I put into others, the more I got for myself. I also met some great people. I guess the bottom line is that if there are things about our lives we're unhappy with, it's up to us to make the changes needed to deal with them. It's just a matter of getting stuck in and achieving our goals.

Good luck fella.

[Foliage]

ColdSyphon said:

I guess the advice/opinions I’d like are:

1) For those who transformed from oafs into Adonis, what I’d like to know is *how* you managed to turn yourselves around, what did you dig into during the darker moments when it can feel like a lot of effort and tiredness for not much return?

2) How can I help turn around my state of mind, because I’m pretty damn sure that if that was sorted then really beating the fatty would be much easier and feel more achievable than it does right now.

First off im no expert but ive turned myself around (ive lost 2.5 stone since feb and am now running 5km's every other day), I wasn't fat but I wasn't fit or thin, I was over weight, and I also had feelings of loneliness, feeling down etc.

Get the app, myfitnesspal (im sure someone already suggested this) aim to lose half a kilo a week, heard the expression slow and steady wins the race? well that most definitely applies to dieting so if you lose less than that a week don't worry as long as your weight is heading in the direction you want then its always good.

Consider food like any energy source/fuel that you purchase, electricity for your house, petrol for your car. You wouldnt leave your car running and leave all the lights on in your house, so why waste money on food, set yourself a weekly food budget (mines £50) and stick too it, use the money your saving (seriously you will learn to save money if your really watching everything your eating) to buy yourself nice clothes as you lose weight. If im under my food budget i'll treat myself to a steak for the following week.

My top tips are,

1/ Cut out carb rich foods - bread, pasta, rice & potatoes - Stop eating them full stop, carbs make me lethargic and they are high in calories (by volume)
2/ Stop eating sweets/chocolate & stop drinking fizzy drinks - Processed sugars are terrible for you and addictive, you may even get the shakes from stopping eating them I did.
3/ Cut out the alcohol - alcohol is packed with calories and its a depressant.
4/ Eat more fresh fruit and veg - increase your veg portions with meals instead of having potatoes, snack on fruit.
5/ Eat more protein - Protein makes your brain think your full, yoghurts are my savour, boiled eggs are awesome with salad, tinned tuna and other fish are quick and easy.
6/ Drink water - It fills you up, its good to be hydrated, when I was craving chocolate id have a glass of water instead. Put ice and lemon in it to 'posh' it up.
7/ You can never fail, eat something you shouldn't? it doesn't matter, does it? just get back to eating what and how much you should be, be disappointed in yourself but use that to improve yourself don't dwell on it, or consider it a treat for doing so well and get back to the diet.
8/ Exercise - Start off easy, do 5 press-ups and 5 sit-ups and build on it, cardio is your friend, get out on your bike or try running (couch to 5k is excellent) take it easy to start with and make progress, have a goal (run to the end of the road without walking, cycle to the local shop in under 10mins whatever).
9/ Have a look on youtube - plenty of stuff on youtube about diet/exercise, avoid videos selling stuff, you dont need to buy anything to lose weight or get fit, its in fact the opposite you will be buying less.
10/ Cut out takeaways - they are full of no better term for it than crap, if you need a quick simple meal have salad with some sort of meat, egg, cheese whatever.

2) As well as the stuff ive said above, be positive, pretend to be positive, think of it this way, your in control of what you think, your in control of your brain, take control of it. Smile for no reason, think of something funny.

At the start I had in my mind that I would always say yes to everything and anything (obviously some exceptions), say yes even if your saying no, put a positive spin on things. Concentrate on the positives in your life no matter how small, deal with and forget about the negatives for example you've lost 10pounds, that's nearly a stone that's fking awesome, forgot that its taken you longer than you thought it should, tell everyone you've lost weight, boast about that st, be positive.

My strategy for when I feel depressed is -

1/Watch a film - watch a comedy film, every one has a selection of comedy/light hearted films they love, watch 1 or more.
2/Sleep - Go to bed early, get up early. It works for me, give it a try. (only to be used in extreme cases)
3/Play a computer game - play something in depth that will get your mind off whatever is bothering you.
4/Learn a music instrument - similar theme as above, you don't have to be an expert over night it takes time, relax and enjoy learning something new.


That should do for the moment I have lots more.

Fol

Edited by Foliage on Wednesday 18th June 17:43

Edits for typo's - still loads left im sure & additional stuff

Edited by Foliage on Wednesday 18th June 17:52

[Westy Carl]

Stuff that worked for me.

1) Identify when your biggest risk of snacking is and do something about it. (mine was lunchtime at the Wildbean Cafe next door, I now do a quick 30min session in the gym at lunchtime, it probably doesn't help much but does stop me eating the ginsters and mars bars.

2)Drink loads of water all day(fills you up)

3)Drink at least a pint of water with every meal (in between mouthfuls, slows your eating and fills you up)

4)Early morning exercise (even brick walk) or after dinner is a mood lifter for me

5)If your really stuggling set goals. "if I'm good for just 5 days, then Sat is a treat day"

[nick s]

Best advice I can give here is to get into a sport that you enjoy and can see improvements at. IMO it's no good forcing yourself to run 3 x a week if you hate it and will stop as soon as you've lost the weight.

I'm sure you've heard this before, but it has to be a complete lifestyle change. For me it was triathlon. Maybe buy a bike and start cycling, and timing yourself over a certain route and watch yourself get quicker, leaner and stronger. It'll give you the motivation to carry on and set yourself goals, and you'll want to keep it up.

Enjoying it is a huge part of committing to making that permanent lifestyle change.

[Warnie]

Foliage said:

Edited by Foliage on Wednesday 18th June 17:52

Great advice not just for the OP, but for everyone.

[skibum]

As has been said already - some cracking advice on here. From reading it and also from my own experience (3 stone loss), it is down to finding something that clicks for you and having support/encouragement from people around you too.

A fantasticly positive resource that really helped me out at the beginning was Nerd Fitness

Lots of great anicdotes and tales from people in all kinds of situations and not just tackling the diet/fitness side of it, but a lot of helpful stuff on the mental side of things.

[Hoofy]

nick s said:

Best advice I can give here is to get into a sport that you enjoy and can see improvements at. IMO it's no good forcing yourself to run 3 x a week if you hate it and will stop as soon as you've lost the weight.

Yep. The hours will fly by if you're doing a sport you enjoy.

[Squirrelofwoe]

skibum said:

A fantasticly positive resource that really helped me out at the beginning was Nerd Fitness

Lots of great anicdotes and tales from people in all kinds of situations and not just tackling the diet/fitness side of it, but a lot of helpful stuff on the mental side of things.

I'll second that. I've personally never struggled with weight but I find that site a fantastic resource for all things nutrition/workout/fitness/motivation related.

I stumbled across it a couple of years ago whilst looking for additional Paleo type recipes and have followed it ever since. It's always my go-to resource if my workouts have been getting stale or if I'm just in need of a motivation boost.

The fitness/nutrition side of it is brilliant but as noted I think some of the motivational/mental fitness articles on there would also really help the OP.

Well worth checking out.

Edited by Squirrelofwoe on Thursday 19th June 10:40

[amare32]

As others say, find a sport you would enjoy and then you'll even start to make time to do it as much a possible.

Having played basketball and football most of my life, I kept myself fairly fit but took up tennis 3 years ago at 33, in the 3 years since I have progressed from a rubbish player to playing in the local league and at the same time, it gave my weight training focus. In the best shape of my life with a ripped physique - achieved it without faddy diets, 5:2, supplements. Just eating clean and reducing the rubbish that I used to eat.

I lot of my peers wonder how I managed to transform like this despite my age, well I simply made little changes here and there, instead of watching tv 10+ hours a week, I simply use that time to train and play tennis. It's more productive than something passive watching TV.

You only have 1 shot in life - make it count.

[Tumbler]

Keep a food diary, be honest with it, the only person you are cheating is yourself.

I like http://www.myfitnesspal.com

Clear your cupboards, fridge and freezer out, then make a list of your meals for the week and only buy those foods.


Walk as often as possible, park further away, take the stairs rather than the lift.

[Tumbler]

Keep a food diary, be honest with it, the only person you are cheating is yourself.

I like http://www.myfitnesspal.com

Clear your cupboards, fridge and freezer out, then make a list of your meals for the week and only buy those foods.


Walk as often as possible, park further away, take the stairs rather than the lift.

[amare32]

Tumbler said:

Keep a food diary, be honest with it, the only person you are cheating is yourself.

I like http://www.myfitnesspal.com

Clear your cupboards, fridge and freezer out, then make a list of your meals for the week and only buy those foods.


Walk as often as possible, park further away, take the stairs rather than the lift.

You don't need to keep a diary to make progress. Just exercise and eat sensible. There's no black art to it. I scoff at all my colleagues who measure everything to the nth degree obviously all in good humour however most people are in denial that they eat healthy yet won't hesitate to much that extra packet of biscuits or have just 'one more' glass of wine. That's what is doing the damage.

[Sargeant Orange]

In simple terms you need a distraction as bordem=eating, there's no getting around that. Rowing/cycling would be ideal.

[thesyn]

Advice about finding a sport that you enjoy is spot on.

fk rowing and cycling though, your body body is constantly telling you to stop (I find).

Take up boxing, who doesn't like hitting things? ( bag or pads )

[e21Mark]

Also, be patient. Weight loss can take time so don't throw in the towel if things seem to be the same.

[Foliage]

e21Mark said:

Also, be patient. Weight loss can take time so don't throw in the towel if things seem to be the same.

To re-iterate this and my long post above, Weight loss SHOULD take time, if you lose weight quickly your more likely to put it back on, slow and steady is the best way, change your lifestyle, no fad diets.
A good way to judge this is that the people you see every day shouldnt really notice your weight loss on a day to day basis, it should just hit them one day after you've been at it for a while.

Set yourself a realistic & achievable goal over a long term, maybe 2 years (or more) to get down to your ideal weight. Its a gradual process and once your the weight you want to be you
cant just go back to how it was, you will need to stick at watching what you eat for the rest of your life but you can eat more once you hit your goal,
Im eating more now, im eating a little bread, some noodles or pasta once/twice a week, I still want to lose a bit more fat from my stomach but its just going to take time.

All good things come to those who wait.

Edited by Foliage on Friday 20th June 10:59

Edited by Foliage on Friday 20th June 11:00

[V8Ford]

OP, sounds like you have a similar mindset to me. Negativity is a destructive thing. I think there's some pretty sound advice on this thread though. By the way, your weight loss to date is really impressive, you should feel proud of your progress so far and use it to spur you on.