BliarOut requests, I deliver...
BliarOut requests, I deliver...
Author
Discussion

Dibble

Original Poster:

13,276 posts

269 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all
BlairOut wants another "What shall I do at work tonight?" thread, so here it is.

He's already suggested pulling "dangerously LOW speeds".

Anything else? But be quick, out of the door in 48 minutes...

philthy

4,697 posts

269 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all
Just for me Dibs, if you get chance to sit quietly behind a heavy as you approach an onslip, have a gander at the level of incompetence people display when it comes to joining a Motorway/dual carriageway in front of them. I would love some of these berks to be shown the video of themselves.
Here's hoping......
Phil

>> Edited by philthy on Tuesday 14th December 20:22

tja

1,175 posts

283 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all
Do "middle lane morons" for driving without due care and attention

Tyre Smoke

23,018 posts

290 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all
Anyone for failure to use indicators correctly!

Pull 'em over and explain why you have followed them for 6 miles and they've only indicated twice.

Okay this doesn't apply if they're not overtaking on the motorway

No Discretion

655 posts

261 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all
tja said:
Do "middle lane morons" for driving without due care and attention


It's driving without reasonable consideration for other road users...(still section 3, RTA1988 mind)

However, if they are doing 70mph....there's very little can be done...

Winds me up too though....

BliarOut

72,863 posts

268 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all
Dibble, you're a star

Time to educate the right lane hogs and anyone showing a lack of observation Oh, and my personal favourite at the moment... Amber Gamblers.

And... if you catch any ten year olds committing any form of mars bar ofence at this time of night, they're fair game

andygo

7,394 posts

284 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all
Bloody cars with one headlight......

Dibble

Original Poster:

13,276 posts

269 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all
andygo said:
Bloody cars with one headlight......


Presumably bloody and only one headlight because the driver's nished as a pewt and has clobbered a pedestrian...

andygo

7,394 posts

284 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all
In fact ANY car with one headlight.

Er, like the Police Focus I saw the other night - for the third time in 10 days.............

tja

1,175 posts

283 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all
No Discretion said:

tja said:
Do "middle lane morons" for driving without due care and attention



It's driving without reasonable consideration for other road users...(still section 3, RTA1988 mind)

However, if they are doing 70mph....there's very little can be done...

Why?

And the same goes for fking muppets who drive around with their fking fog lights on. Grrrrrrrrr.

lazy_b

392 posts

265 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all
Any car with any faulty light, unless the driver is carrying a spare and can replace it at the roadside...

Edited to add: Double points for only one foglight when it's not foggy.

>> Edited by lazy_b on Tuesday 14th December 20:51

BliarOut

72,863 posts

268 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all
I don't suppose you are allowed to pull people for wearing a loud shirt in a built up area after the hours of darkness, or being in posession of big red lips and black curly hair....

Dibble

Original Poster:

13,276 posts

269 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all
Call me a bluff old traditionalist, but no. Not unless they're actually doing something wrong.

Dibble

Original Poster:

13,276 posts

269 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all
OK, very brief list for tonight.

Now accepting requests for tomorrow night.

andygo

7,394 posts

284 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all

BliarOut

72,863 posts

268 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all
Ahh, Dibble are you too young to remember

Not the nine oclock news said:

"Come in, shut the door."
"Yes, sir."
"Now then, Savage, I want to talk td you about some charges that you've been bringing lately. I think that perhaps you're being a little
over-zealous."
"Which charges did you mean then, sir?"
"Well, for instance this one: 'Loitering with intent to use a pedestrian crossing.' Savage, maybe you're not aware of this, but it is not illegal to use a pedestrian crossing, neither is 'smelling of foreign food' an offence."
"Are you sure, sir?"
"Also, there's no law against 'Urinating in a public convenience or 'Coughing without due care and attention."'
"If you say so, sir..."
"Yes, I do say so, Savage! Didn't they teach you anything at training school?"
"Erm, I'm sorry, sir..."
"Some of these cases are just plain stupid: 'Looking at me in a funny way' - Is this some kind of joke, Savage?"
"No, sir."
"And we have some more here: 'Walking on the cracks in the pavement,' 'Walking in a loud shirt in a built-up area during the hours of darkness,' and 'Walking around with an offensive wife.' In short, Savage, in the space of one month you have brought one hundred and seventeen ridiculous, trumped-up and ludicrous charges."
"Yes, sir."
"Against the same man, Savage."
"Yes, sir."
"A Mr Winston Kodogo, of 55, Mercer Road."
"Yes, sir."
"Sit down, Savage."
"Yes, sir."
"Savage, why do you keep arresting this man?"
"He's a villain, sir."
"A villain..."
"And a jail-bird, sir."
"I know he's a jail-bird, Savage, he's down in the cells now! We're holding him on a charge of 'Possession of curly black hair and thick lips."'
"Well - well, there you are, sir."
"You arrested him, Savage!"
"Thank you, sir."
"Savage, would I be correct in assuming that Mr Kodogo is a coloured gentleman?"
"Well, I can't say I've ever noticed, sir."
"Stand up, Savage! - Savage, you're a bigot. It's officers like you that give the police a bad name. The press love to jump on an instance like this, and the reputation of the force can be permanently tarnished. Your whole time on duty is dominated by racial hatred and petty personal vendettas. Do you get some kind of perverted gratification from going around stirring up trouble?"
"Yes, sir."
"There's no room for men like you in my force, Savage. I'm ss transferring you to the S.PG. -"
"Thank you very much, sir."
"- Now get out!"


Pot Bellied Fool

2,261 posts

266 months

Tuesday 14th December 2004
quotequote all

BliarOut said:

Not the nine oclock news said:

"Come in, shut the door."
"Yes, sir."
"Now then, Savage, I want to talk td you about some charges that you've been bringing lately. I think that perhaps you're being a little
over-zealous."




How topical that was at the time - and still is to a certain extent - but has sadly led to a torrent of paperwork for the BiBs I suspect.

Ahh.. whatever happened to those fresh-faced comics of NTNOCN?

Anyway, back to the original question...

Fog light numpties please.

Any one too blinkered not to notice the jam-butty car in the rear-view mirror.

Anyone wearing a hat inside a car is open season.

...and if you're in an unmarked - try & get a few road-ragers.

And if you happen to be in Blackpool at any time (more than likely I suspect) then anyone wearing a Kiss Me Quick Hat may be cast into the sea without fear of recrimination.

OK?

towman

14,938 posts

268 months

Wednesday 15th December 2004
quotequote all
Chase Me Big Boy !!!!

tvrforever

3,196 posts

294 months

Wednesday 15th December 2004
quotequote all
lazy_b said:
Any car with any faulty light, unless the driver is carrying a spare and can replace it at the roadside...

Edited to add: Double points for only one foglight when it's not foggy.

>> Edited by lazy_b on Tuesday 14th December 20:51


Whilst I generall agree with this please note a fair number of cars now have 'garage replacement only' headlights... My new A6 for instance

Mon Ami Mate

6,589 posts

297 months

Wednesday 15th December 2004
quotequote all
Right then, just for me...tomorrow night, please can you target people who exit the motorway from lane two in rush hour because they can't be arsed to wait behind a queue of slow moving cars in lane one. This starts a knock-on effect, causing vehicles behind them to panic brake and veer into lane three. In front of people who can't see beyond their bonnets and are still doing 90mph. This is bloody dangerous and is something I'm seeing more and more regularly.