Very Bad Depression
Discussion
Hey all, new to here.
Need some advice...
Im a 29yr old male, single, straight, like a few drinks and a sat nite out, very unsuccessful with the opposite sex due to my size (im 6ft 7, 20 stone), think people see me as a sideshow and awkward-looking (Ive heard this before) and I get mocked quite a bit.
Been depressed for about 11yrs now on and off, used to have pills and counselling (problems at school/college/socially) but never worked for me at all.
Last year or so has been dreadful, out of work (im a chef by trade), lots of self-harm (cuts and burns, which ive done before) and feeling more and more suicidal. When I get angry if unfairly judged or a woman turns me down I have a ferocious temper which I take out on myself. I spend most of the day thinking of how to dispose of myself, no joke!. The reason I cant kill myself is because of my family, dont want them to get hurt.
I get no pleasure from life anymore and I feel no hope of a future, just feel lifes not worth living.
Any advice of what to do appreciated.
Need some advice...
Im a 29yr old male, single, straight, like a few drinks and a sat nite out, very unsuccessful with the opposite sex due to my size (im 6ft 7, 20 stone), think people see me as a sideshow and awkward-looking (Ive heard this before) and I get mocked quite a bit.
Been depressed for about 11yrs now on and off, used to have pills and counselling (problems at school/college/socially) but never worked for me at all.
Last year or so has been dreadful, out of work (im a chef by trade), lots of self-harm (cuts and burns, which ive done before) and feeling more and more suicidal. When I get angry if unfairly judged or a woman turns me down I have a ferocious temper which I take out on myself. I spend most of the day thinking of how to dispose of myself, no joke!. The reason I cant kill myself is because of my family, dont want them to get hurt.
I get no pleasure from life anymore and I feel no hope of a future, just feel lifes not worth living.
Any advice of what to do appreciated.
Sorry to hear that... shame your first post isn't under happier circumstances.
To be honest my advice would be to get in touch with some professionals, as Soov says my first port of call would be a doctor but I can understand how that might be quite intimidating, especially as a first step, other options if you feel you really can't face a doc would include things like getting in touch with CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably), they have phone, text and web services to allow you to contact them. The Samaritans are also worth a call.
To be honest my advice would be to get in touch with some professionals, as Soov says my first port of call would be a doctor but I can understand how that might be quite intimidating, especially as a first step, other options if you feel you really can't face a doc would include things like getting in touch with CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably), they have phone, text and web services to allow you to contact them. The Samaritans are also worth a call.
Sorry to hear your predicament. As mentioned you need to seek professional help first and foremost. After that what really helped me when going through the odd spell of depression (which was fairly mild compared to yours) was exercise. I went to a circuit training class at the local sports centre twice a week, hard work but felt the benefits soon enough and amazed myself as to how I was keeping up with who I would consider the "fit" people there after a few months. Also getting outdoors at the weekends, either a good blast on the mountain bike or a long walk. I used to walk 14-16 miles a day some weekends. Fresh air and nature are such good tonics to a stressful life and pretty much free to do as well.
I've no idea how much weight I lost but I'd never felt better. Screwed now mind, wife, kids, job, no time for me, and too much bad food drink mean I'm back at 16-17 stone (6ft3) but happy none the less as my priorities have changed.
Also be careful with the boozing, it a good stress reliever in the short term but it can make thing a lot worse. On the off chance you do any recreational drugs I'd suggest giving that a miss for a while too.
Good luck.
I've no idea how much weight I lost but I'd never felt better. Screwed now mind, wife, kids, job, no time for me, and too much bad food drink mean I'm back at 16-17 stone (6ft3) but happy none the less as my priorities have changed.
Also be careful with the boozing, it a good stress reliever in the short term but it can make thing a lot worse. On the off chance you do any recreational drugs I'd suggest giving that a miss for a while too.
Good luck.
I read this post a while ago and have been pondering how to reply, or even if I should? Depression is a killer in both senses and you have my sympathies. As has been said before, see you Doctor NOW. There is usually a mental health team in the area and if you are honest with them about your suicidal feelings, they will 'fast track' you. The Doctor will refer you straight away.
As to positive moves you can make:
Do something. Anything it doesn't really matter. Set yourself a target for each day, not to much, even something you enjoy (washing the car?) counts. But, make sure you do it. It's amazing how much better even a tiny achievement can make you feel. Go for a walk, take a dog (borrow one if you haven't got one) and get a tiny bit of gentle excercise.
Smile. Even when you feel like you'd rather slash your wrists, smile. Smile at yourself for being out, smile at other people. It does help.
Be positive. So easy to say, such an absolute b
h to do! But if you can't be positive, fake it. Okay, others wont see your pain, but on the whole, no other bugger cares anyway except your nearset and dearest, so be positive, confident and smile. Fake it, it gets easier and amazingly it does help. When other people see you smile, some will smile back (some will look at you like you are demented - fk 'em!) and again, it all helps.
There's lots more, but I'm afraid of saying to much.
Best of luck and it will get better with time and help.
As to positive moves you can make:
Do something. Anything it doesn't really matter. Set yourself a target for each day, not to much, even something you enjoy (washing the car?) counts. But, make sure you do it. It's amazing how much better even a tiny achievement can make you feel. Go for a walk, take a dog (borrow one if you haven't got one) and get a tiny bit of gentle excercise.
Smile. Even when you feel like you'd rather slash your wrists, smile. Smile at yourself for being out, smile at other people. It does help.
Be positive. So easy to say, such an absolute b
h to do! But if you can't be positive, fake it. Okay, others wont see your pain, but on the whole, no other bugger cares anyway except your nearset and dearest, so be positive, confident and smile. Fake it, it gets easier and amazingly it does help. When other people see you smile, some will smile back (some will look at you like you are demented - fk 'em!) and again, it all helps. There's lots more, but I'm afraid of saying to much.
Best of luck and it will get better with time and help.
Go to to doctor ASAP.
Pills might get you started but don't lean on the too much, think short term fix.
Your over a foot taller than me, women say the like tall, dark and handsome, they never say they like short arse, so you have that advantage over me. Not sure where 2 0stone puts you, but I'll guess you can loose a bit of pork. Make sure you eat properly and at regular times, go easy on the alcohol, try to keep to a regular bedtime and join some sort of sports club. The exercise will get you fit, get you out, get you meeting people and give you some one to chase to improve. Not sure what sport you like or would like, but give some a go, or even dancing. It's Strictly season so people want to learn to dance, give it a go. Exercise and social all rolled into one.
When you have read these replies,turn the computer off and go and start you new life.
Good luck.
PS, stop worrying about women, they are for the most part a pain. Right now learn to accept yourself for who you are,the sooner you do that the sooner other people will too.
Pills might get you started but don't lean on the too much, think short term fix.
Your over a foot taller than me, women say the like tall, dark and handsome, they never say they like short arse, so you have that advantage over me. Not sure where 2 0stone puts you, but I'll guess you can loose a bit of pork. Make sure you eat properly and at regular times, go easy on the alcohol, try to keep to a regular bedtime and join some sort of sports club. The exercise will get you fit, get you out, get you meeting people and give you some one to chase to improve. Not sure what sport you like or would like, but give some a go, or even dancing. It's Strictly season so people want to learn to dance, give it a go. Exercise and social all rolled into one.
When you have read these replies,turn the computer off and go and start you new life.
Good luck.
PS, stop worrying about women, they are for the most part a pain. Right now learn to accept yourself for who you are,the sooner you do that the sooner other people will too.
jonamv8 said:
Doc immediatley
Then gym. U may carry your weight well but get in shape healthy body healthy mind. I never ever regret going to the gym.
Women - dont worry, grass is greenerthey r not the be all and end all mate
This, a million times over. Grab some pills to sort you out short term, then hit the gym. Honestly, this will make you feel a hundred times better, and after a while (given your size) you'll be a figure that newbies can look up to.Then gym. U may carry your weight well but get in shape healthy body healthy mind. I never ever regret going to the gym.
Women - dont worry, grass is greenerthey r not the be all and end all mate
It might be a minor point, but the woman thing will work itself out the moment you stop worrying about it. You'll always find an 'other half' when you're not looking. Think of it as sod's law.
Another minor point is that, once you look around you, especially if you're getting help, you'll notice just how many people have depression- many won't realise it yet, but you'll spot it from a mile off.
I've had my moments and got some help in 2010. My sister has been with the crisis team a few times in the last three or four months.
Depression is unpleasant but it is also manageable and there is the other side to come out of, if you're willing to work for it.
Another minor point is that, once you look around you, especially if you're getting help, you'll notice just how many people have depression- many won't realise it yet, but you'll spot it from a mile off.
I've had my moments and got some help in 2010. My sister has been with the crisis team a few times in the last three or four months.
Depression is unpleasant but it is also manageable and there is the other side to come out of, if you're willing to work for it.
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