Up the muddy hill in a oner
Up the muddy hill in a oner
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johnny fotze

Original Poster:

394 posts

155 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
My apologies if you expected something sordid, but not this time. So zip up and read on.
On the final day of a recent festival I was loading up the car ready for a swift exit later. The field being used as a car park is best described as bowl shaped, so whichever direction you took you were either ascending or descending a fairly steep slope. It had been a lovely green when we arrived two days previously, but heavy rain, interspersed with showers and occasional drizzle, plus those who'd already left because they were soft, had turned into a large mud bowl. Cars were still trying to leave. The way the parked cars were arranged meant there were six lanes, all leading to a hardcore track at the top of the hill, the other sides being fenced off. I watched as cars repeatedly tried, and failed to get up the hill. Two basic methods were being employed; the high gear low revs approach, with no-one getting more than half way up before losing traction. The second method, which was slightly more successful, was the balls out go for it method. They'd reverse up the opposite slope, then go all out hoping momentum would overcome gravity and mud. It didn't.
When my lane became free, using the knowledge I'd gained watching others fail, I got into my car and made it to the top on my first attempt.
My question to you venerated driving Gods is; how? What ingenious method, based wholly on the information I have relayed to you, did I use to succeed where all others failed?
First correct answer wins the title of second best driver on the whole internet for as long as they wish to use it.
For the record, I was driving a standard front engined, front wheel drive, turbo diesel saloon. I used no outside forces, mechanical or manual. Plan B was to get the wife to push, which would have been as futile as it would have been funny.

Edited by johnny fotze on Tuesday 9th September 19:54

delboy735

1,656 posts

232 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
First gear, below 1200rpm, steering left to right all the way. Traction control on !!!

Rawwr

22,722 posts

264 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
You woke up and it was all a dream?

slipstream 1985

13,765 posts

209 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
traction control off steer left to right low revs and crawl up the hill. or you had winters on adn chunkier tread.

or you went up backwards putting more weight on the driven wheeels

johnny fotze

Original Poster:

394 posts

155 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
delboy735 said:
First gear, below 1200rpm, steering left to right all the way. Traction control on !!!
It's good but you're not right, as Roy Walker used to say twenty times every Saturday night.

s p a c e m a n

12,102 posts

178 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
Yeah, drive out at an angle rather than straight up.

miniman

30,073 posts

292 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
Left foot lightly on the brakes to stop one wheel spinning all the power away.

ruff'n'smov

1,092 posts

179 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
You used the wheel of death method.....round and round until you get to the top

anonymous-user

84 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
You reversed up the hill.....

johnny fotze

Original Poster:

394 posts

155 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
slipstream 1985 said:
or you went up backwards putting more weight on the driven wheeels
Is the correct answer.
Considering at least half of those that attempted the climb had reversed up the opposite, equally inclined slope without much trouble in order to get a better run at it, I couldn't believe no-one else (that I saw) had thought of it. Problem was I got to the top then had to re park because I'd left the wife behind. Fortunately there was a space two cars from top.

CTO

3,006 posts

240 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
You reversed up, Bodie and Doyle styleeee J turned at the crest and then leapt out to adulation and a blowie from some new age pierced tongued lentil sandal wearing dreadlocks touting pierced festival chick....?

AICMFP

:smile:

CTO

3,006 posts

240 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
Bah,
Spent so long typing I came third..


Slidingpillar

761 posts

166 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
A 'make hay when the sun shines' attitude. In other words, reading the surface accurately and being fast where there is grip, and shedding speed where the wheels would spin.

I used to have a job that required me to get to hill tops on grassy tracks with a quite unsuitable estate car.

Jimmyarm

1,962 posts

208 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all

Anyone that has ever visited the GDSF as a camper (wahay!) will be familiar with this situation.

Most try, fail and get recovered by a tractor.

Me, in my trusty V40, foot to the floor, steer and find some traction biggrin It does work, if you have more than 3mm of tread on the tyres (and 4 large chaps + camping gear in the car).

Rawwr

22,722 posts

264 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
Slidingpillar said:
A 'make hay when the sun shines' attitude. In other words, reading the surface accurately and being fast where there is grip, and shedding speed where the wheels would spin.

I used to have a job that required me to get to hill tops on grassy tracks with a quite unsuitable estate car.
Were you an uphill gardener?

BFG TERRANO

2,172 posts

178 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
slipstream 1985 said:
traction control off steer left to right low revs and crawl up the hill. or you had winters on adn chunkier tread.

or you went up backwards putting more weight on the driven wheeels
Do the driven wheels change dependant on direction travelled?

Krikkit

27,938 posts

211 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
I read the title and thought you meant you'd done it in a 1-series! tongue out

Sheepshanks

41,066 posts

149 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
johnny fotze said:
Is the correct answer.
Did you see any RWD cars attempt it (going forwards)?

StottyEvo

6,860 posts

193 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
Beaten to it. Reversing was the very obvious solution hehe

Alternatively taking a hell of a run up and then managing slip would've been another tactic. Instead of taking a run up then wheel spinning to high heaven.

slipstream 1985

13,765 posts

209 months

Tuesday 9th September 2014
quotequote all
Sheepshanks said:
johnny fotze said:
Is the correct answer.
Did you see any RWD cars attempt it (going forwards)?
your theory would work best with a porsche 911