Your personal copy - Noble Motoring News 2008:
Discussion
First Noble M600 delivered - Joust pipped to post again!:
AMG Merc (nice name!) has taken delivery of the world's first Noble M600 sports car. The M600 comes equipped with a power output of 649bhp and is so named due to its 600bhp/tonne rating. The M600 is the first model to benefit from Noble's latest raft of electric safety driving aids. It features CIA (Camber Interlude Acceleration) ensuring Maximum rear wheel grip on uneven road surfaces, MI5 (Magnetically Instant Grip v5) an intelligent system that moves the road wheels out from their axle plane by 150mm during hard cornering ensuring maximum lateral grip and a claimed zero body-roll. Also, FBI (Fibre Band Interactive), the world's first 100% end-to-end glass wiring loom is fitted to handle the power output from the latest B&O 1000 watt sound system.
Lee Noble named "Tetley Tea Boy of the Year" for third Year running:
Car man Lee Noble (OBE) is set to receive Tetley Tea's prestigious award at the Leicester Odeon for the third year running. Lighting another cigarette, Noble said, "once again this is one in the eye for all of the foreign sports car makers. This accolade proves once-and-for-all that you don't need to know German, Italian, Russian, Japanese or Indian (but added that Afrikaans is OK) to produce an exceptional home-grown sports car."
Noble Automotive launches mono-wheeled racing cycle:
In response to Noble's London-based owners' parking and turning-circle problems, Noble Automotive have launched the M9 speed-cycle. The single-wheeled M9 (looking like a Penny Farthing cycle but without the farthing) is designed to accelerate from 0-30mph in 1.9 seconds and its top speed of 50mph is reached in 2.75331 seconds (this is important as it keeps the M9's acceleration under the 2.76 second limit after which the new London Congestion Acceleration Charge comes into effect). Rumours that the petrol-fueled M9 also runs on leftover tea leaves, making it the world's first dual-fuel motor-cycle, are said to be nonsense.
Turquoise Noble M12 driven into Spanish marina:
A trick coloured Noble M12 was driven into the marina at Puerto Banus, Spain yesterday. The ex speed-biker driver, a Senor. V6 GTO (strange name!) said, "I was in a hurry to get to the tanning salon and was trying to overtake a Sinclair C5 when the my brakes failed, I thought I had the solid copper brake upgrade too. I had two choices, driving straight into the new Burger King at the end of the causeway, where I had planned to visit later anyway, or into the harbour - as the car needed a wash I chose the latter option." Police later retrieved the Noble saying that "it looked better in metallic seaweed anyway, Senor."
Classic Noble M12's for sale on eBay:
Two classic Noble M12 models are currently for sale on eBay. Mr. Obes's (another strange name!) original and rare Noble M12 2.5 model sports a custom plum colour scheme and has never been raced (yeah, right!) is for sale at a starting bid of just £50,000 and is said to include a full tank of Optimax. A second Noble M12, being sold by a Mr. Joust, and said the be the development mule for all Noble models on the road, has a starting bid of just £1999 and has "never ever, ever, not even once" been raced.
PistonHeads site reaches 90% of the global male population:
Said PetrolTed (Ted to his mates), "a recent audit reported that the PistonHeads web site reached 90% of the global male population and now even caters for the needs of Ford Ka drivers." Ted went on to say that "current rumours of TVReski Engineering offering 450,000,000,000,000 roubles (£9,450) and Ford Motor Company offering $1.8 Billion for the PH site were wildly exaggerated." Ted went on to say that next year PH would be the first motoring portal to be transmitted into space and would be received first on the ISS (International Space Station) (in Russian and English language).
ENDS.
>>> Edited by AMG Merc on Wednesday 29th December 12:01
AMG Merc (nice name!) has taken delivery of the world's first Noble M600 sports car. The M600 comes equipped with a power output of 649bhp and is so named due to its 600bhp/tonne rating. The M600 is the first model to benefit from Noble's latest raft of electric safety driving aids. It features CIA (Camber Interlude Acceleration) ensuring Maximum rear wheel grip on uneven road surfaces, MI5 (Magnetically Instant Grip v5) an intelligent system that moves the road wheels out from their axle plane by 150mm during hard cornering ensuring maximum lateral grip and a claimed zero body-roll. Also, FBI (Fibre Band Interactive), the world's first 100% end-to-end glass wiring loom is fitted to handle the power output from the latest B&O 1000 watt sound system.
Lee Noble named "Tetley Tea Boy of the Year" for third Year running:
Car man Lee Noble (OBE) is set to receive Tetley Tea's prestigious award at the Leicester Odeon for the third year running. Lighting another cigarette, Noble said, "once again this is one in the eye for all of the foreign sports car makers. This accolade proves once-and-for-all that you don't need to know German, Italian, Russian, Japanese or Indian (but added that Afrikaans is OK) to produce an exceptional home-grown sports car."
Noble Automotive launches mono-wheeled racing cycle:
In response to Noble's London-based owners' parking and turning-circle problems, Noble Automotive have launched the M9 speed-cycle. The single-wheeled M9 (looking like a Penny Farthing cycle but without the farthing) is designed to accelerate from 0-30mph in 1.9 seconds and its top speed of 50mph is reached in 2.75331 seconds (this is important as it keeps the M9's acceleration under the 2.76 second limit after which the new London Congestion Acceleration Charge comes into effect). Rumours that the petrol-fueled M9 also runs on leftover tea leaves, making it the world's first dual-fuel motor-cycle, are said to be nonsense.
Turquoise Noble M12 driven into Spanish marina:
A trick coloured Noble M12 was driven into the marina at Puerto Banus, Spain yesterday. The ex speed-biker driver, a Senor. V6 GTO (strange name!) said, "I was in a hurry to get to the tanning salon and was trying to overtake a Sinclair C5 when the my brakes failed, I thought I had the solid copper brake upgrade too. I had two choices, driving straight into the new Burger King at the end of the causeway, where I had planned to visit later anyway, or into the harbour - as the car needed a wash I chose the latter option." Police later retrieved the Noble saying that "it looked better in metallic seaweed anyway, Senor."
Classic Noble M12's for sale on eBay:
Two classic Noble M12 models are currently for sale on eBay. Mr. Obes's (another strange name!) original and rare Noble M12 2.5 model sports a custom plum colour scheme and has never been raced (yeah, right!) is for sale at a starting bid of just £50,000 and is said to include a full tank of Optimax. A second Noble M12, being sold by a Mr. Joust, and said the be the development mule for all Noble models on the road, has a starting bid of just £1999 and has "never ever, ever, not even once" been raced.
PistonHeads site reaches 90% of the global male population:
Said PetrolTed (Ted to his mates), "a recent audit reported that the PistonHeads web site reached 90% of the global male population and now even caters for the needs of Ford Ka drivers." Ted went on to say that "current rumours of TVReski Engineering offering 450,000,000,000,000 roubles (£9,450) and Ford Motor Company offering $1.8 Billion for the PH site were wildly exaggerated." Ted went on to say that next year PH would be the first motoring portal to be transmitted into space and would be received first on the ISS (International Space Station) (in Russian and English language).
ENDS.
>>> Edited by AMG Merc on Wednesday 29th December 12:01
excellent! 
Superb Rob. But you forgot the article about the Fashion Police banning Titanium coloured cars, and the latest news on the radioactive material in the Indigo paint that makes all their owners impotent!
Martin.
PS - the boys will be 'round soon!
>> Edited by V6GTO on Friday 24th December 17:08
joust said:
and the latest news on the radioactive material in the Indigo paint that makes all their owners impotent!
Do we care???? I think not
J
Nathan might...he'll be thinking of kids soon. And I've never heard of anyone not caring if the the old fella wont stand up!
Martin.
LaurenceFrost said:
That really made me laugh. Looking forward to the next issue already.
Reminds me of Sniff Petrol
Thanks Laurence, funnily, I did have to leave a few stories on the cutting-room floor for next time (plus a couple made their way to the bin due to potential libel issues, HA!!!) :-)
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