A broken heart.
Discussion
I never realised the health implications this could effect. Complete lose of appetite, little if no sleep, mental distraction, lose of life focus. I fear this could easily turn to depression. I consider myself a mentally strong and stable person, as such I can identify when I need help with dealing with things. Without first hand experience of this though I have no reference for dealing with it. Any help?
There is no quick fix I'm afraid.
When it happened to me it was truly life altering. Weight loss, mental torture, and everything in between. I still feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
Sorry I can't be more constructive but it's a very personal thing for each individual so what worked for me may be a waste of time for you.
Some people will never be replaced in your heart it's as simple as that.
When it happened to me it was truly life altering. Weight loss, mental torture, and everything in between. I still feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
Sorry I can't be more constructive but it's a very personal thing for each individual so what worked for me may be a waste of time for you.
Some people will never be replaced in your heart it's as simple as that.
Really don't know what or even if there is an answer to this, but if you find one, let me know pronto. You are not alone...
For me it's been 18 months (only) so far and I honestly cannot get over it. Weight loss and appetite come back after a while and sleeping gets better, but far from perfect in honesty and some nights, there's not a chance! I no longer dwell on it 24/7 I'm probably down to 12/7 now
You think to yourself that given time, you'll move on and get on with your life, but, for me, that's not even remotely close to happening. I can't bare the thought of being with someone else, don't want to date (and believe it or not, I've been asked out by a woman!) or risk being close to someone. Some days, breathing is a chore...
Sorry if this is not helping.
But, it does get better. Life itself doesn't look quite so bleak and while I find myself far from actively looking forward to things, I can face most days with indifference. I'm lucky in that I have two dogs that I love and they make me go out and when I'm down, they are always there for a cuddle, ones lying by the side of me right now. I've accepted that I'm alone for life now - I don't want '2nd best' and anything would be, nor do I want to hurt anyone else, so alone it must be.
All the very best to you, stay strong, it does get better.
For me it's been 18 months (only) so far and I honestly cannot get over it. Weight loss and appetite come back after a while and sleeping gets better, but far from perfect in honesty and some nights, there's not a chance! I no longer dwell on it 24/7 I'm probably down to 12/7 now
You think to yourself that given time, you'll move on and get on with your life, but, for me, that's not even remotely close to happening. I can't bare the thought of being with someone else, don't want to date (and believe it or not, I've been asked out by a woman!) or risk being close to someone. Some days, breathing is a chore...
Sorry if this is not helping.
But, it does get better. Life itself doesn't look quite so bleak and while I find myself far from actively looking forward to things, I can face most days with indifference. I'm lucky in that I have two dogs that I love and they make me go out and when I'm down, they are always there for a cuddle, ones lying by the side of me right now. I've accepted that I'm alone for life now - I don't want '2nd best' and anything would be, nor do I want to hurt anyone else, so alone it must be.
All the very best to you, stay strong, it does get better.
It's dreadful isn't it? Part of being human I'm afraid. You didn't think all that lovin' fun had no price attached did you?
Don't mean to sound glib but you will get over it, and you've got plenty of time to get in the same state again
Rebuild yourself - Join a club, buy a dog, go running, avoid drugs, masturbate a lot and go on holiday. Some of these can be done in combination.
Don't mean to sound glib but you will get over it, and you've got plenty of time to get in the same state again
Rebuild yourself - Join a club, buy a dog, go running, avoid drugs, masturbate a lot and go on holiday. Some of these can be done in combination.
Luckily I am a man with the same train of thought as you! I already train pretty well yoga/bodyweight/weights and eat pretty clean. May as well channel my emotions into bettering myself. Im also going through Vietnam and Cambodia in February for 3 weeks then Costa rica for a month in May.
It's a cliche (but they become cliches for a reason) but time is a great healer. Not much help now, I know and I wouldn't worry too much about depression, that's different to being really sad about an even that's happened.
Get out as much as you can, find something else to focus on, channel that energy into something worthwhile so some good can come of it.
Take one day at a time and try not to think too long term. It's a gradual thing but one day you'll realise that you haven't thought about xxxx for a while. It's a bit s
t but all these experiences make us who we are.
Get out as much as you can, find something else to focus on, channel that energy into something worthwhile so some good can come of it.
Take one day at a time and try not to think too long term. It's a gradual thing but one day you'll realise that you haven't thought about xxxx for a while. It's a bit s
t but all these experiences make us who we are.How long has it been?
After my breakup before Christmas I had a very bad few weeks where I couldn't sleep, eat or motivate myself to do anything. That horrible physical feeling of heart break is very real and hurts like nothing else.
Really you just need to get through it one day at a time, things do get better.
Been nearly two months now and things are much better, I can sleep and my appitite has come back. Still feeling pretty apathetic and finding it hard to get excited about anything - not feeling great but I know I'm getting better.
Be careful with your 'self talk', you are going to have some destructive and repetitive thoughts. Mistakes you think you made, the great times you had, how you're never going to find anyone like that again - all the usual crap I imagine.
Do try and spot them and think about something else, easier said than done but to keep thinking like this will keep dragging you down.
I imagine you have been heart broken before, it's happened to me a few times over the years. Try to look back at how you felt then and how you sorted yourself out and moved on.
Tend to find by the time you're over your ex another one will crop up and the cycle will begin again
Right now it doesn't sound like your ready but do push youself to get out there and meet some new girls, not to replace the last one or even for anything serious.
Met a really nice girl a few weeks back; really far too soon. Feel a little confused as still not over the ex and not really ready for anything. That said it's been really nice to enjoy some great female company and she is very good at taking my mind off things. She's on a three week diving holiday so hopefully I'll be more sorted when she gets back.
One of my biggest issues is the hole that's left, while I was totally happy single before I met her I now can feel pretty lonely at times. This has given me a great excuse to catch up with old friends. Just spent the last 2 days hanging out with an old mate who's in the same boat so we lived on take aways and watched movies while getting over our new years hangover! Good company really helps.
Hang in there mate, you are not alone.
Some really great advice on these threads.
http://www.pistonheads.com/GASSING/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gAssing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
After my breakup before Christmas I had a very bad few weeks where I couldn't sleep, eat or motivate myself to do anything. That horrible physical feeling of heart break is very real and hurts like nothing else.
Really you just need to get through it one day at a time, things do get better.
Been nearly two months now and things are much better, I can sleep and my appitite has come back. Still feeling pretty apathetic and finding it hard to get excited about anything - not feeling great but I know I'm getting better.
Be careful with your 'self talk', you are going to have some destructive and repetitive thoughts. Mistakes you think you made, the great times you had, how you're never going to find anyone like that again - all the usual crap I imagine.
Do try and spot them and think about something else, easier said than done but to keep thinking like this will keep dragging you down.
I imagine you have been heart broken before, it's happened to me a few times over the years. Try to look back at how you felt then and how you sorted yourself out and moved on.
Tend to find by the time you're over your ex another one will crop up and the cycle will begin again
Right now it doesn't sound like your ready but do push youself to get out there and meet some new girls, not to replace the last one or even for anything serious.
Met a really nice girl a few weeks back; really far too soon. Feel a little confused as still not over the ex and not really ready for anything. That said it's been really nice to enjoy some great female company and she is very good at taking my mind off things. She's on a three week diving holiday so hopefully I'll be more sorted when she gets back.
One of my biggest issues is the hole that's left, while I was totally happy single before I met her I now can feel pretty lonely at times. This has given me a great excuse to catch up with old friends. Just spent the last 2 days hanging out with an old mate who's in the same boat so we lived on take aways and watched movies while getting over our new years hangover! Good company really helps.
Hang in there mate, you are not alone.
Some really great advice on these threads.
http://www.pistonheads.com/GASSING/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gAssing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
dave0010 said:
Luckily I am a man with the same train of thought as you! I already train pretty well yoga/bodyweight/weights and eat pretty clean. May as well channel my emotions into bettering myself. Im also going through Vietnam and Cambodia in February for 3 weeks then Costa rica for a month in May.
Nice one. Those holidays sound excellent. I'm stuck here 'til the end of next summer now but after I'm thinking of an Australia trip or driving across the the US of A, though Cambodia and that part of the world is always somewhere I've wanted to visit.So I'm about to leave and go pick up a van to put all her stuff into. Im then meeting her and her father to drop it off and say goodbye. Right now my mind is filled with all the thoughts about if I'm doing the right thing walking away with her. I just keep reminding myself that If it was the other way around I would have never let her walk away from me.
I guess you can constantly bang your head against a wall trying to change it, all thats gonna happen though is the wall will always remain and your gonna be the one left there hurt.
I guess you can constantly bang your head against a wall trying to change it, all thats gonna happen though is the wall will always remain and your gonna be the one left there hurt.
I believe a dose of tinder fixes all of the above. Couple of evenings out with some easy going and young lady will focus the mind - just don't get attached to them. I hear 99% are mentalists.
Tinder.
(I dont practice what I preach so have no first hand evidence of this working just hearsay from another slightly chavvy car forum that has a massive tinder thread)
Tinder.
(I dont practice what I preach so have no first hand evidence of this working just hearsay from another slightly chavvy car forum that has a massive tinder thread)
Right now I'm staying away from Tinder and POF. I have no real interest in going out and meeting anyone at the moment. Im gonna concentrate on myself and the things that make me happy. I don't want to just replace the whole she has left with another women.
saying goodbye earlier was hard for me. In my mind I had thought that maybe she would try and stop me going. Or atleast ask me more about the reasons why I was going. She didn't! this has made me realise I am doing the right thing for myself. I have removed her from all my social media as I don't want to have any reminders of how happy she is popping up.
The last thing I'm left to decide on if weather to delete her number from my phone and the whatsapp message thread on my phone. The msgs themselves don't really matter but there is a massive media library from our time together. It goes back to photos of the day we first meet and right up to the last week. I'm not spending time looking through it but deleting it will be the final act I think of loosing her.
saying goodbye earlier was hard for me. In my mind I had thought that maybe she would try and stop me going. Or atleast ask me more about the reasons why I was going. She didn't! this has made me realise I am doing the right thing for myself. I have removed her from all my social media as I don't want to have any reminders of how happy she is popping up.
The last thing I'm left to decide on if weather to delete her number from my phone and the whatsapp message thread on my phone. The msgs themselves don't really matter but there is a massive media library from our time together. It goes back to photos of the day we first meet and right up to the last week. I'm not spending time looking through it but deleting it will be the final act I think of loosing her.
When I'm low, and I'm weak, and I'm lost
I don't know who I can trust
Paranoia, the destroyer, comes knocking on my door
You know the pain drifts to days, turns to nights
But it slowly will subside
And when it does, I take a step, I take a breath
And wonder what I'll find
Richard Ashcroft's 'Check the Meaning', Written about depression, but its all the same in the end.
It does get better, the step and the breath is just the start.
I don't know who I can trust
Paranoia, the destroyer, comes knocking on my door
You know the pain drifts to days, turns to nights
But it slowly will subside
And when it does, I take a step, I take a breath
And wonder what I'll find
Richard Ashcroft's 'Check the Meaning', Written about depression, but its all the same in the end.
It does get better, the step and the breath is just the start.
It is funny how the mind/heart works.
I've been single since my marriage finally broke up 6 years ago and haven't had much luck with women since. Early last year I got together with a woman that I had known back when her family and mine went on holidays together.
It was very brief and very intense and I really thought it had finally happened and I felt wonderful. But within a month she just stopped it, no contact, just the odd businesslike text.
I felt sick and was also cross with myself for letting down my guard. She's on my FB and I would fawn over her pics, I said fawn
, and just felt so awful about it.
So it's nearly a year and, as it was a brief affair, I am over her but the funny thing is she 'liked' some pics I stuck on FB the other day and I looked at her profile. I looked at her pics going back to the beginning of last year and didn't find her in the least bit attractive. The glow was gone and I wondered what I saw in her.
I just wrote this as it actually saddened me to know how fickle we all can be, how what seems to be life changing can mean nothing when some time has passed. Although that is a good thing or we all would be a bad place for a very long time. Luckily, for most of us, time does heal.
I've been single since my marriage finally broke up 6 years ago and haven't had much luck with women since. Early last year I got together with a woman that I had known back when her family and mine went on holidays together.
It was very brief and very intense and I really thought it had finally happened and I felt wonderful. But within a month she just stopped it, no contact, just the odd businesslike text.
I felt sick and was also cross with myself for letting down my guard. She's on my FB and I would fawn over her pics, I said fawn
, and just felt so awful about it.So it's nearly a year and, as it was a brief affair, I am over her but the funny thing is she 'liked' some pics I stuck on FB the other day and I looked at her profile. I looked at her pics going back to the beginning of last year and didn't find her in the least bit attractive. The glow was gone and I wondered what I saw in her.
I just wrote this as it actually saddened me to know how fickle we all can be, how what seems to be life changing can mean nothing when some time has passed. Although that is a good thing or we all would be a bad place for a very long time. Luckily, for most of us, time does heal.
Crafty_ said:
When I'm low, and I'm weak, and I'm lost
I don't know who I can trust
Paranoia, the destroyer, comes knocking on my door
You know the pain drifts to days, turns to nights
But it slowly will subside
And when it does, I take a step, I take a breath
And wonder what I'll find
Richard Ashcroft's 'Check the Meaning', Written about depression, but its all the same in the end.
It does get better, the step and the breath is just the start.
I like that, thank you for sharing. I did decide to delete our history within my phone. I will always treasure the times we had together and don't need the photos to remind me of them. I got rid of them because I didn't want to have the constant reminder. I don't know who I can trust
Paranoia, the destroyer, comes knocking on my door
You know the pain drifts to days, turns to nights
But it slowly will subside
And when it does, I take a step, I take a breath
And wonder what I'll find
Richard Ashcroft's 'Check the Meaning', Written about depression, but its all the same in the end.
It does get better, the step and the breath is just the start.
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