Available for my personal useage!

[diddyman]

Just recieved a very tempting email...

Very tempting email said:

4 Wives looking to Cheat, have been matched for you in your area: 1: Chelsea, 135 lbs, 5'9, 36c, 5 miles away, available Jan 21-26th 2: Jasmine, 120 lbs, 5'8, 36d, 13 miles away, available Jan 22-28th 3: Lauren, 121 lbs, 5'8, 34b, 25 miles away, available Jan 21-26th 4: Melissa, 123 lbs, 5'8, 36c, 11 miles away, available most week nights ( looking for side-fling)

Hmmmm
Decisions, decisions...

[sirtophamhat]

God, thats awful.

Strictly by the dimensions, I think Lauren sounds like my type. Imagine finding your wife on there!

[njw 77]

Jim, I had the same email today (in fact, I think I get it daily but the spam killer grabs it).

As Im a gent, you pick your 2 first

[JustTheTip]

Where on earth does that stuff get collated?!? And by who??

Purely for research......

[beano500]

Did you both get exactly the same mail? Of course you did and your in different locations obviously.

So...

There's some poor bar-steward sitting on a lighthouse on Lundy or somewhere who's got the same mail and is looking for the boats now!

[groucho]

I get these too, they certainly are not in my area as they are weighed in pounds, sounds like American to me, but yours says 5 miles awy etc. I'll have to have a closer look next time.

Grouch.

>> Edited by groucho on Wednesday 26th January 18:32

[sparkythecat]

beano500 said:

There's some poor bar-steward sitting on a lighthouse on Lundy or somewhere who's got the same mail and is looking for the boats now!

[rsvmilly]

diddyman said:

Just recieved a very tempting email... Very tempting email said: 4 Wives looking to Cheat, have been matched for you in your area: 1: Chelsea, 135 lbs, 5'9, 36c, 5 miles away, available Jan 21-26th 2: Jasmine, 120 lbs, 5'8, 36d, 13 miles away, available Jan 22-28th 3: Lauren, 121 lbs, 5'8, 34b, 25 miles away, available Jan 21-26th 4: Melissa, 123 lbs, 5'8, 36c, 11 miles away, available most week nights ( looking for side-fling) Hmmmm Decisions, decisions...

Let me guess. So to meet one of these girls you simply have to subscribe at the bargain of hundreds of pounds per year?

[Vixpy1]

Strange there are no ages up there..

They could all be 85!

[busta]

Im with Bedford, Jasmine it is.

Why dont i get this kind of spam? All i get is 'penis enlargment' spam.

I wanna know how they knew....

Bernie

[diddyman]

Sorry for the lack of reply chaps.

I was busy checking out the wares.

Anyway, I throught it best to start nearest to home, so tried out Chelsea first. Oh... my... God... If her parents insist on naming her after a district of London, Isle of Dogs would have been more appropriate. Looks like when she fell out of the top of the ugly tree she hit every branch on the way down.

Still, only a few miles to see Jasmine. She was HOT! And half oriental. So we ended up discussing Ming vases and swapping recipes for chicken noodle soup.

Lauren was too far away (in the opposite direction from the others), so I went home via Melissa. Ahhhh... only Melissa on Friday & Saturday nights. Derek from accounts the rest of the time. Anyway, I said I was not into double entry book-keeping, and wended my way home.

1 out of 3 is not bad and I still have Lauren to see. AND I was fortunate enough to be sent another email today.

New and equally exciting email said:

4 Cheating House Wife have been matched for you in your area: 1: Danielle, 128 lbs, 5'6, 36c, 19 miles away, available Jan 24-26th 2: Danielle, 126 lbs, 5'6, 36d, 14 miles away, available most nights (husband works midnights) 3: Rachel, 128 lbs, 5'8, 34b, 9 miles away, available Jan 22-28th 4: Alexis, 122 lbs, 5'8, 36c, 21 miles away, available most nights (husband works midnights)

Number 1 is a day late and I better pop round and see Rachel tonight as it is her last night available.

I hope my wife doesnt find ouy!

[james_j]

I have a suspicion that they next step may be parting with some money...or am I being a little cynical...

[sccbishop]

[diddyman]

james_j said:

I have a suspicion that they next step may be parting with some money...or am I being a little cynical...

Money? No, you've got it all wrong, I tell yah. They're REALLY nice girls, except Melissa, of course, cos she's actually Derek. They're doing it for LURV... (cough cough)

[CharlieAlpha66]

diddyman said:

Sorry for the lack of reply chaps. I was busy checking out the wares. Anyway, I throught it best to start nearest to home, so tried out Chelsea first. Oh... my... God... If her parents insist on naming her after a district of London, Isle of Dogs would have been more appropriate. Looks like when she fell out of the top of the ugly tree she hit every branch on the way down. Still, only a few miles to see Jasmine. She was HOT! And half oriental. So we ended up discussing Ming vases and swapping recipes for chicken noodle soup. Lauren was too far away (in the opposite direction from the others), so I went home via Melissa. Ahhhh... only Melissa on Friday & Saturday nights. Derek from accounts the rest of the time. Anyway, I said I was not into double entry book-keeping, and wended my way home. 1 out of 3 is not bad and I still have Lauren to see. AND I was fortunate enough to be sent another email today. New and equally exciting email said: 4 Cheating House Wife have been matched for you in your area: 1: Danielle, 128 lbs, 5'6, 36c, 19 miles away, available Jan 24-26th 2: Danielle, 126 lbs, 5'6, 36d, 14 miles away, available most nights (husband works midnights) 3: Rachel, 128 lbs, 5'8, 34b, 9 miles away, available Jan 22-28th 4: Alexis, 122 lbs, 5'8, 36c, 21 miles away, available most nights (husband works midnights) Number 1 is a day late and I better pop round and see Rachel tonight as it is her last night available. I hope my wife doesnt find ouy!

[diddyman]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Nah, that can't be my wife. 130lbs? In your dreams... Last time my wife went to a fancy dress party she put a sheet over her head and went as Alaska.

[JonRB]

diddyman said:

Nah, that can't be my wife. 130lbs? In your dreams... Last time my wife went to a fancy dress party she put a sheet over her head and went as Alaska.

Cruel. But funny.

[diddyman]

JonRB said:

diddyman said: Nah, that can't be my wife. 130lbs? In your dreams... Last time my wife went to a fancy dress party she put a sheet over her head and went as Alaska. Cruel. But funny.

And not true either! She weighs 126lbs! (if the weighing scales are to be believed!)

[towman]

diddyman said:

A load of bollox about meeting these lurvly laydeez

Dids, we know you are lying. What actually happened is this......

20:00 Wear Red carnation under clock at Waterloo.
20:05 (they`re always late) Meet absolute stunner also wearing carnation.
20:30 Drinks at nearby bar.
21:00 On to posh restaurant.
23:30 Ask the usual "want to come back for coffee?" question.
23:40 Walk young lady to car.
23:50 Lady sees Corsa and begins to laugh.
00:30 Lady stops laughing and hails Taxi.
00:35 - present. Dids continously curses a suicidal deer.


Wait `til you get you car back and then try again!!!

[diddyman]

towman said:

diddyman said: A load of bollox about meeting these lurvly laydeez Dids, we know you are lying. What actually happened is this...... 20:00 Wear Red carnation under clock at Waterloo. 20:05 (they`re always late) Meet absolute stunner also wearing carnation. 20:30 Drinks at nearby bar. 21:00 On to posh restaurant. 23:30 Ask the usual "want to come back for coffee?" question. 23:40 Walk young lady to car. 23:50 Lady sees Corsa and begins to laugh. 00:30 Lady stops laughing and hails Taxi. 00:35 - present. Dids continously curses a suicidal deer. Wait `til you get you car back and then try again!!!

Actually, I'm not driving the Corsa anymore. The insurance company have kindly "upgraded" me. To a Daewoo! But yeah, you're spot on!