Masturbating at the Doctors - Etiquette
Masturbating at the Doctors - Etiquette
Author
Discussion

JCB123

Original Poster:

2,265 posts

227 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
I've got to go and produce a live sample at the Doctors on Monday for my post-vas all clear.

They'll hopefully pack me off into a small room with an old Kays catalogue and a measuring jug - but - how long should I take?

You don't want to be in there for an hour - that'll look weird.

30 seconds, and that could look just as odd.

5 minutes? 10?

I'm seriously worried.....help please PH'ers......


Getragdogleg

10,309 posts

214 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
Ask them to help.

Steve vRS

5,408 posts

272 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
It's a well known fact that if you are in longer than 10mins, the best looking nurse pops in to give you a hand.


Unless he's busy of course biggrin

Steve

Getragdogleg

10,309 posts

214 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
Actually no, tell them you cant do it and you need to have your prostate "milked".

Let us know how you get on.

JCB123

Original Poster:

2,265 posts

227 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
Getragdogleg said:
Actually no, tell them you cant do it and you need to have your prostate "milked".

Let us know how you get on.
As is standard practice now in 2015, I will video the event.

MitchT

17,162 posts

240 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
You actually have to do it there? Don't they send a container in the post for you to return it in?

Time wise? Well, how long to talk yourself into it before and recline with a cigar after?

Crusoe

4,126 posts

262 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
Most will let you take a sample in with you (depending on the rules most allow you an hour to get it to them as long as you keep it at body temperature), just go in a bit earlier and pick up a sample tub and get your partner to do the work biggrin

Impasse

15,099 posts

272 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
wker.

JCB123

Original Poster:

2,265 posts

227 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
MitchT said:
You actually have to do it there? Don't they send a container in the post for you to return it in?
Crusoe said:
Most will let you take a sample in with you (depending on the rules most allow you an hour to get it to them as long as you keep it at body temperature), just go in a bit earlier and pick up a sample tub and get your partner to do the work biggrin
Done 4 samples at home, still tadpoles around after 7 months, so they want me to come in (so to speak).

SR7492

495 posts

181 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
Steve vRS said:
It's a well known fact that if you are in longer than 10mins, the best looking nurse pops in to give you a hand.


Unless he's busy of course biggrin

Steve
hehehehehehehehehehe

SydneyBridge

11,928 posts

189 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
I had to do mine at home and get take it into the hospital within the hour.

There is a small room at my hospital with a reclining chair (forever known as the wkers chair...) and I just could not do it. Even took some er... material to look at the second time and that did not help (Had to give two samples just to be sure)

either way, that letter to say I am a Jaffa is in a safe place

227bhp

10,203 posts

159 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
JCB123 said:
Done 4 samples at home, still tadpoles around after 7 months, so they want me to come in (so to speak).
That doesn't make sense, are they saying your semen becomes more fertile the longer its left?

P-Jay

11,414 posts

222 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
There is another option...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bU77vdnYvcM

05:05 onwards.

P-Jay

11,414 posts

222 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
227bhp said:
JCB123 said:
Done 4 samples at home, still tadpoles around after 7 months, so they want me to come in (so to speak).
That doesn't make sense, are they saying your semen becomes more fertile the longer its left?
No, after you have the snip you have to go back at certain intervals afterwards with a sample and they test it to see if the procedure was successful as it takes a while for supply to stop - OP is still shooting live rounds 7 months post-op, the swimmers aren't still moving around 7 months after 'delivery'

Studio117

4,250 posts

222 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
it only smellz

5potTurbo

13,694 posts

199 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
JCB123 said:
I've got to go and produce a live sample at the Doctors on Monday for my post-vas all clear.

They'll hopefully pack me off into a small room with an old Kays catalogue and a measuring jug - but - how long should I take?

You don't want to be in there for an hour - that'll look weird.

30 seconds, and that could look just as odd.

5 minutes? 10?

I'm seriously worried.....help please PH'ers......
You don't have to fill the jug, by the way! wink



If you've still swimmers after 7 months, I'd imagine no amount of wking will change that. The vasectomy failed!

SydneyBridge

11,928 posts

189 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
I think you have to have about 20/30 ejaculations to get rid of all the live sperm still inside you, after the snip

anonymous-user

85 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
SydneyBridge said:
I think you have to have about 20/30 ejaculations to get rid of all the live sperm still inside you, after the snip
So about 24 hours then

matchmaker

9,091 posts

231 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
Both times I had to provide samples I did it at home. It was weird telling my wife that I was off to the bathroom to have a Sherman! biggrinbiggrinbiggrin

Adenauer

18,982 posts

267 months

Thursday 9th July 2015
quotequote all
anonymous said:
[redacted]
laugh