Worst night in my life
Discussion
Sorry to bring everyone down, but i've just split with my wife after 15 years of marriage.
Whatever the reasons,(no one else involved), it's really sad but something that has to happen for both of us for future happiness. We both seem to be positive about it at the moment, strangely, still struggling with emotions in a way though.
Feels wierd to even post this thread, but sometimes I think we all gravitate to PH for some help and guidance, whatever the subject.
Mart
>>> Edited by carsarecool on Sunday 30th January 19:36
Whatever the reasons,(no one else involved), it's really sad but something that has to happen for both of us for future happiness. We both seem to be positive about it at the moment, strangely, still struggling with emotions in a way though.
Feels wierd to even post this thread, but sometimes I think we all gravitate to PH for some help and guidance, whatever the subject.
Mart
>>> Edited by carsarecool on Sunday 30th January 19:36
It's always sad when a long relationship ends - and sometimes it's even sadder if it ends amicably.
It sounds as if you have both reached a point at which it is obvious to the two of you that you need to end it. Just try to stay friends throughout the legal process and remember that you once had much in common even if you don't now, and respect each other in this difficult time.
All the best.
It sounds as if you have both reached a point at which it is obvious to the two of you that you need to end it. Just try to stay friends throughout the legal process and remember that you once had much in common even if you don't now, and respect each other in this difficult time.
All the best.
nick heppinstall said:How true, and that's the key mental attitude to aim for - but how difficult it is to think like that when it's all hitting home for the first time and you're on the emotional rollercoaster. It's true all the same, the lows get higher and life straightens out in time. Keep a strong hold on liking yourself and recognise your loveability.
Eventually things will be sorted, you will find someone else and be happy. It's just time ....
The small print. Also as a result of experience following an initially amicable split after 22 years' marriage, be aware that sometimes developments can occur that are totally unexpected ... and professional advice would be useful.
These are challenging times but it's a racing cert you have the ability to cope, survive and thrive. Very best wishes for the future.
Mate, my thoughts are with you.
I hate reading threads like this, not least because I am getting married in July. Try to keep it amicable & stay friends. Hopefully there's no bitterness that you can use against each other.
Try and do something new - bike license? Get into trackdays? Something to take your mind off it?
I hate reading threads like this, not least because I am getting married in July. Try to keep it amicable & stay friends. Hopefully there's no bitterness that you can use against each other.
Try and do something new - bike license? Get into trackdays? Something to take your mind off it?
I'm not going to patronise you with shite like " If it was mean't to be then it was meant to be"
or "Best to just move on..."
or "Get over it- it was all for the best".
You needs to give yourself time and permission to griev for in many ways it is like a bereavement. There will be times when you're probably remeniscing and having thoughts of the good times then you're comfortable with- making you feel like you're "hanging on".
If you keep occupied, perhaps immersing yourself in a strong interest you have already or embrace a new one that can help-preferably something totally NEW that she wasn't into or something you never shared with her.
Friends can help too as well as making new friends.
I'm sure PHers are here "manning" the forums 24/7 if you need to vent.
or "Best to just move on..."
or "Get over it- it was all for the best".
You needs to give yourself time and permission to griev for in many ways it is like a bereavement. There will be times when you're probably remeniscing and having thoughts of the good times then you're comfortable with- making you feel like you're "hanging on".
If you keep occupied, perhaps immersing yourself in a strong interest you have already or embrace a new one that can help-preferably something totally NEW that she wasn't into or something you never shared with her.
Friends can help too as well as making new friends.
I'm sure PHers are here "manning" the forums 24/7 if you need to vent.
cosmoschick said:
Sorry to bring everyone down, but i've just split with my wife after 15 years of marriage.
Have you both considered an informal trial separation before making a decision to divorce? Just a thought.
Yep. We did that 8 years ago and have been trying until now. Realllllly trying.
I suppose that we both feel that we need more than trying and need to live to the full.
I'm 36, my partenr's 41 this year and we think the same, yet somehow differently. Maybe that's been the problem, amongst others.
At least we're young enough to start again.
Marquis_Rex said:
I'm not going to patronise you with shite like " If it was mean't to be then it was meant to be"
or "Best to just move on..."
or "Get over it- it was all for the best".
Mart. I'm really sorry if I sounded patronising. This was the LAST thought on my mind when I posted.
Nick
nick heppinstall said:
I'm not going to patronise you with shite like " If it was mean't to be then it was meant to be"
or "Best to just move on..."
or "Get over it- it was all for the best".
Mart. I'm really sorry if I sounded patronising. This was the LAST thought on my mind when I posted.
Nick
Sorry Nick, I didn't even read your post so it wasn't directed at you.
It's just the kind of comments I've gotten when I've been down and never liked, but it depends on the person I guess...
Marquis_Rex said:
Marquis_Rex said:
I'm not going to patronise you with shite like " If it was mean't to be then it was meant to be"
or "Best to just move on..."
or "Get over it- it was all for the best".
Mart. I'm really sorry if I sounded patronising. This was the LAST thought on my mind when I posted.
Nick
Sorry Nick, I didn't even read your post so it wasn't directed at you.
It's just the kind of comments I've gotten when I've been down and never liked, but it depends on the person I guess...
No probs mate. I lost my Dad in September so I feel pretty fatalistic at the mo.
carsarecool said:
Yep. We did that 8 years ago and have been trying until now. Realllllly trying.
Fair enough. Then if you've given it your best shot and you both feel the same way, it's probably best to move on. But as Marquis Rex quite rightly points out, it'll take time to get over - it is like a bereavement.
los angeles said:
However, in the animal world few species mate for life, although pelicans and swans do.
And wolves IIRC!
nick heppinstall said:
Marquis_Rex said:
nick heppinstall said:
Marquis_Rex said:
I'm not going to patronise you with shite like " If it was mean't to be then it was meant to be"
or "Best to just move on..."
or "Get over it- it was all for the best".
Neither commets were taken in that way, just glad of the replies and thoughts, all appeciated.
Mart. I'm really sorry if I sounded patronising. This was the LAST thought on my mind when I posted.
Nick
Sorry Nick, I didn't even read your post so it wasn't directed at you.
It's just the kind of comments I've gotten when I've been down and never liked, but it depends on the person I guess...
No probs mate. I lost my Dad in September so I feel pretty fatalistic at the mo.
Sorry, neither comments offended. Thanks for the replies all.
>> Edited by carsarecool on Sunday 30th January 20:34
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