Help/suggestions for my best man speech
Discussion
Il be best man next year so i want to start work on a speech, Il give you some background:
The groom and i have been friends since primary school (in our early 30's now) hes a 'dubber' (a big VW fan.) and we are both car nuts.
he proposed to his fiancée up the Eiffel Tower and they have just had a kid together.
His nickname is his surname (stayed with him from school) and his mrs knows that she will have the same nickname given to her once she takes his name.
If anyone has got some good suggestions it would be greatfully appreciated.
I want to crack a few jokes without being too sentimental.
I get a little nervous public speaking so anything to help break the ice at the beginning would help.
Thanks guys!
The groom and i have been friends since primary school (in our early 30's now) hes a 'dubber' (a big VW fan.) and we are both car nuts.
he proposed to his fiancée up the Eiffel Tower and they have just had a kid together.
His nickname is his surname (stayed with him from school) and his mrs knows that she will have the same nickname given to her once she takes his name.
If anyone has got some good suggestions it would be greatfully appreciated.
I want to crack a few jokes without being too sentimental.
I get a little nervous public speaking so anything to help break the ice at the beginning would help.
Thanks guys!
Unless you're used to getting up infront of people and being the only person speaking and that everyone's listening to, you'll be nervous and that's fine.
You know the content and context better than anyone, but dont try too hard to be funny, because you'll end up rushing the lines out and you'll talk too fast for people to get it.
If you're not using a mic (we borrowed the DJ's mic and amps to do speeches) make sure you have your head up and not in your bits of paper, because no-one else further than 5 feet away from you will hear what you're saying if you're talking to your feet. Talk slower than you would normally
Keep it as long as it needs to be. Enough that you can sort of show everyone you do actually know this guy, you've had some fun times together and you wish him and his wife well. Dont forget to toast them either
You know the content and context better than anyone, but dont try too hard to be funny, because you'll end up rushing the lines out and you'll talk too fast for people to get it.
If you're not using a mic (we borrowed the DJ's mic and amps to do speeches) make sure you have your head up and not in your bits of paper, because no-one else further than 5 feet away from you will hear what you're saying if you're talking to your feet. Talk slower than you would normally
Keep it as long as it needs to be. Enough that you can sort of show everyone you do actually know this guy, you've had some fun times together and you wish him and his wife well. Dont forget to toast them either
callmedave said:
Il be best man next year so i want to start work on a speech, Il give you some background:
The groom and i have been friends since primary school (in our early 30's now) hes a 'dubber' (a big VW fan.) and we are both car nuts.
he proposed to his fiancée up the Eiffel Tower and they have just had a kid together.
His nickname is his surname (stayed with him from school) and his mrs knows that she will have the same nickname given to her once she takes his name.
If anyone has got some good suggestions it would be greatfully appreciated.
I want to crack a few jokes without being too sentimental.
I get a little nervous public speaking so anything to help break the ice at the beginning would help.
Thanks guys!
A couple of gags I have used in the past to good effect....The groom and i have been friends since primary school (in our early 30's now) hes a 'dubber' (a big VW fan.) and we are both car nuts.
he proposed to his fiancée up the Eiffel Tower and they have just had a kid together.
His nickname is his surname (stayed with him from school) and his mrs knows that she will have the same nickname given to her once she takes his name.
If anyone has got some good suggestions it would be greatfully appreciated.
I want to crack a few jokes without being too sentimental.
I get a little nervous public speaking so anything to help break the ice at the beginning would help.
Thanks guys!
(speaking about the groom) He wasn't the brightest kid when he was younger, in fact people used to ask his mum and dad what he would be when he left school, the usual answer was "about 35"
(as the best man) One of the duties of the best man is to ensure that no ex-girlfriends turn up to ruin the day. Thankfully due to the foot-and-mouth outbreak a few years back, most of the mad cows have either been quarantined or shot and burned!
Whatever you do make sure you ...
- Take the piss out of him and make him squirm
- say the bride looks awesome (ask for a round of applause)
- say the bridesmaids look awesome (ask for a round of applause)
- Wish the bride and groom happiness and success
- maybe add a nice bit about their son
Camilla bought a new pair of shoes for her wedding which got increasingly tighter & tighter as the day went on. That night, after the festivities were finally over, she & Charles had retired to their room at the palace.
Camilla flopped on the bed and said 'Please remove my shoes darling, ones feet are killing one.'
Ever obedient, the Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour. But it would not budge.
'Harder' yelled Camilla.
'Harder?' Charles yelled back, 'I'm trying darling! But it's just so bloody tight!'
'Come on give it all you've got ' she cried.
Finally when it released, Charles let out a big groan, and Camilla exclaimed 'Oh God, that feels so good.'
In their bedroom next door The Queen turned to Prince Phillip and said, 'See, I told you she would still be a virgin with a face like that!'
Meanwhile back in the other bedroom Charles was attempting to remove the other shoe when he cried out 'Oh god, darling this ones even tighter'
At which point Prince Phillip turned and said to the Queen:
'That's my boy, Once a Navy man, always a Navy man!'
Mr Trophy said:
First line, make sure you get a joke in. Then, just enjoy the moment.
This. ^^Start with thanking everyone for coming and if the bride has a low cut dress on, turn to her and follow that with, 'Looking at XXXX in her lovely dress today, you have to say what a fantastic pair......pause........she and >groom< make.
I've done 3 best man speeches, and witnessed a few more.
I've written 'material' that I thought was very funny and clever, involving laddish stuff about some of the bride and groom's first 'encounters' and mishaps. But it can suddenly feel very cheap and selfish as you say it.
Don't lose the sense of humour, but keep it sincere, keep it kind and keep any references to anal sex fairly cryptic.
I've written 'material' that I thought was very funny and clever, involving laddish stuff about some of the bride and groom's first 'encounters' and mishaps. But it can suddenly feel very cheap and selfish as you say it.
Don't lose the sense of humour, but keep it sincere, keep it kind and keep any references to anal sex fairly cryptic.
captainzep said:
I've written 'material' that I thought was very funny and clever, involving laddish stuff about some of the bride and groom's first 'encounters' and mishaps. But it can suddenly feel very cheap and selfish as you say it.
+1.It might have been funny at the time and funny recounting it to the lads.
It isn't so funny in front of a bunch of grannies and kids.
One other word of warning - be prepared to edit on the fly.
One I did, the groom decided to do an off-the-cuff speech for about 30 mins on how much he loved his wife.
I couldn't bloody stop him so I just had to cut half of mine out in the hope that the whole room wasn't asleep by the end.
Given roughly 50% of the people in the room might not know the groom very well, it's always nice to have some anecdotes about him growing up and what he is like.
Just done one, went quite well I thought
I just read from a script, but made sure that I was looking at everyone , spoke clearly and loads of pauses
Take the piss loads, but make sure it is "universally" funny and not too crude
Don't endlessly go on about pissed /nights out antics and other missaps, as above it sounds really cheap and nasty, even more so when the groom is heading to 40
Don't try and condense a whole life story into a speech, or cover everything you can.
People are on your side and WANT to laugh, but they don't want to sit there for 45 mins hearing the life story of the groom mumbled along with trains potter facts about ancient VWs.
I just made a note of funny stories that other people found funny, noted them all down and formed it into a speech. I made sure that they were as universally funny and appealing as possible and wouldn't offend anyone bar the groom! I didn't hold back in regards to roasting the groom, plus got some good jokes in without being crude/racist/too sexist.
I just read from a script, but made sure that I was looking at everyone , spoke clearly and loads of pauses
Take the piss loads, but make sure it is "universally" funny and not too crude
Don't endlessly go on about pissed /nights out antics and other missaps, as above it sounds really cheap and nasty, even more so when the groom is heading to 40
Don't try and condense a whole life story into a speech, or cover everything you can.
People are on your side and WANT to laugh, but they don't want to sit there for 45 mins hearing the life story of the groom mumbled along with trains potter facts about ancient VWs.
I just made a note of funny stories that other people found funny, noted them all down and formed it into a speech. I made sure that they were as universally funny and appealing as possible and wouldn't offend anyone bar the groom! I didn't hold back in regards to roasting the groom, plus got some good jokes in without being crude/racist/too sexist.
Edited by TwistingMyMelon on Friday 17th July 16:04
Also remember its a long busy wedding day, the speech is only one part.
Get really organised before the day on the wedding day arrangements , you will be the person everyone turns to and I was rushing off my arse all day, errands/helping photographer/handling presents/lost handbags/transport arrangements/pushing wheelchairs/sorting more champagne/finding lost kids etc... You wont get a chance to worry about the speech.
Not complaining, really enjoyed it.
Get really organised before the day on the wedding day arrangements , you will be the person everyone turns to and I was rushing off my arse all day, errands/helping photographer/handling presents/lost handbags/transport arrangements/pushing wheelchairs/sorting more champagne/finding lost kids etc... You wont get a chance to worry about the speech.
Not complaining, really enjoyed it.
Frimley111R said:
My Best Man spoke to my Mum and got lots of horrible photos of me as a kid, blew them up to A3 size and then did a 'walk through of my early life' much to the amusement of everyone. Those shiny metallic blue shorts and roller boots were cool at the time!!! I swear!!
This! I did a best man speech and not many people knew about his early life apart from close family. 95% of his friends he meet at uni and so I covered much of his early years much to his horror. Don't do what I saw the other weekend and the best man only talked about the stag party and didn't say how nice the bride and bridesmaid looked until prompted just before he sat down...!
Do not mention:
Drugs
Strippers
Prostitutes
Illegal stuff
Seen one friendship go down the swanny due to the above.
He made a quip about not mentioning anything about the Prostitutes and coke in Thailand as it will stay there.
The Groom was marrying into a well to do family (place they hired was £20k a day for the hotel alone), the matriarch of the family starting asking what a prostitute was (in her late 80s) and how was Groom involved with one, most of the audience went silent in shock and myself and mutual friend were shaking our heads...
Surprising enough when it all calmed down (nothing mentioned at the wedding) the Groom decided that the embarrassment that was caused to him, meant that he was cutting the friendship.
Stupid thing was that we knew the best man well, we asked him several times (myself and the mutual friend) if he wanted an audience to go through it just in case there was something a little bit like the above in there and we would pull it... He said that his GF had reviewed and thought it was perfectly acceptable, to this day we don't know if she had an ulterior motive as she wasn't invited to the wedding (50 guests of family and close friends), or if they were both really naive.
Drugs
Strippers
Prostitutes
Illegal stuff
Seen one friendship go down the swanny due to the above.
He made a quip about not mentioning anything about the Prostitutes and coke in Thailand as it will stay there.
The Groom was marrying into a well to do family (place they hired was £20k a day for the hotel alone), the matriarch of the family starting asking what a prostitute was (in her late 80s) and how was Groom involved with one, most of the audience went silent in shock and myself and mutual friend were shaking our heads...
Surprising enough when it all calmed down (nothing mentioned at the wedding) the Groom decided that the embarrassment that was caused to him, meant that he was cutting the friendship.
Stupid thing was that we knew the best man well, we asked him several times (myself and the mutual friend) if he wanted an audience to go through it just in case there was something a little bit like the above in there and we would pull it... He said that his GF had reviewed and thought it was perfectly acceptable, to this day we don't know if she had an ulterior motive as she wasn't invited to the wedding (50 guests of family and close friends), or if they were both really naive.
11 Rules of the BM speech
1. Do NOT rip off ANY jokes or material from the internet (PH included) Your audience will have heard it before.
2. Try and be affable but be yourself. If you're not a naturally "amusing" guy (loads of people aren't) or are not comfortable in public speaking, don't attempt to be Peter Kay.
3. Remember, he's your mate. He's chosen you because you're his best mate. Poke some fun at him by all means but don't ridicule him in front of his family/friends/colleagues.
4. Do NOT rip off any jokes or material from the internet (PH included)
5. Say how beautiful the bride looks
6. And the bridesmaids.
7. Intersperse or finish your speech with nice stuff about your mate. What a good bloke he is, how much of a mate, how lucky they both are, etc. See point 3.
8. A sincere and thought-out speech that has the audience smiling and "aah-ing" will always go down better than one that is an attempt to be laugh-out-loud funny and failing.
9. Use props if you wish, but be careful with organisation. A projector can be great, but logistically difficult to organise as you're not usually involved in venue sourcing or organising. Handouts are a faff best avoided.
10. Usual public speaking stuff - take your time, put pauses in, eye contact with people, etc, etc.
11. Do NOT rip off any jokes or material from the internet (PH included)
1. Do NOT rip off ANY jokes or material from the internet (PH included) Your audience will have heard it before.
2. Try and be affable but be yourself. If you're not a naturally "amusing" guy (loads of people aren't) or are not comfortable in public speaking, don't attempt to be Peter Kay.
3. Remember, he's your mate. He's chosen you because you're his best mate. Poke some fun at him by all means but don't ridicule him in front of his family/friends/colleagues.
4. Do NOT rip off any jokes or material from the internet (PH included)
5. Say how beautiful the bride looks
6. And the bridesmaids.
7. Intersperse or finish your speech with nice stuff about your mate. What a good bloke he is, how much of a mate, how lucky they both are, etc. See point 3.
8. A sincere and thought-out speech that has the audience smiling and "aah-ing" will always go down better than one that is an attempt to be laugh-out-loud funny and failing.
9. Use props if you wish, but be careful with organisation. A projector can be great, but logistically difficult to organise as you're not usually involved in venue sourcing or organising. Handouts are a faff best avoided.
10. Usual public speaking stuff - take your time, put pauses in, eye contact with people, etc, etc.
11. Do NOT rip off any jokes or material from the internet (PH included)
soad said:
One of the ones on there is from an ex long time poster on here. It's f
king brilliant too.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff