Dementia/Alzheimer's
Discussion
My old mother (82) has dreadful memory, she's never been officially diagnosed but it is quite clear she is suffering from one of the above. I'm not entirely sure where old age Dementia crosses over to Alzheimer's but I don't think that is relevant here.
We got to the point a few years back where each time you saw here she'd tell you something as if it was for the first time but we've now progressed to that happening several times within the same visit so she's clearly deteriorating.
My father also 82 but with all his brain cells still there (and still working within the construction industry a few days a week!) is now getting to the frustrating point where he cannot leave her to go to work for the day if she has something she has to do like go to a hairdressers appointment at a set time. She's got a diary and looks at it but cannot retain the fact she needs to be somewhere in several hours time. We've also tried the more visual dry wipe board somewhere we thought was prominent (on the fridge door) but that failed to keep it in her memory.
An iPhone set with reminders is too technical for her but we need some sort of electronic device that will ring an alarm at a set time and display what she needs to do. Is there anything that is not as complicated as an IDevice out there?
We don't want her to feel she's lost her independence as she's been/is aware her memory is failing her and we've had to gently suggest that driving is just not a good thing to do anymore when she gets flustered as she can't remember where's she is going
I adore my old Mum and I/we want to help her maintain an active enjoyable life for her as long as I/we can.
We got to the point a few years back where each time you saw here she'd tell you something as if it was for the first time but we've now progressed to that happening several times within the same visit so she's clearly deteriorating.
My father also 82 but with all his brain cells still there (and still working within the construction industry a few days a week!) is now getting to the frustrating point where he cannot leave her to go to work for the day if she has something she has to do like go to a hairdressers appointment at a set time. She's got a diary and looks at it but cannot retain the fact she needs to be somewhere in several hours time. We've also tried the more visual dry wipe board somewhere we thought was prominent (on the fridge door) but that failed to keep it in her memory.
An iPhone set with reminders is too technical for her but we need some sort of electronic device that will ring an alarm at a set time and display what she needs to do. Is there anything that is not as complicated as an IDevice out there?
We don't want her to feel she's lost her independence as she's been/is aware her memory is failing her and we've had to gently suggest that driving is just not a good thing to do anymore when she gets flustered as she can't remember where's she is going
I adore my old Mum and I/we want to help her maintain an active enjoyable life for her as long as I/we can.
solo2 said:
My old mother (82) has dreadful memory, she's never been officially diagnosed but it is quite clear she is suffering from one of the above. I'm not entirely sure where old age Dementia crosses over to Alzheimer's but I don't think that is relevant here.
We got to the point a few years back where each time you saw here she'd tell you something as if it was for the first time but we've now progressed to that happening several times within the same visit so she's clearly deteriorating.
My father also 82 but with all his brain cells still there (and still working within the construction industry a few days a week!) is now getting to the frustrating point where he cannot leave her to go to work for the day if she has something she has to do like go to a hairdressers appointment at a set time. She's got a diary and looks at it but cannot retain the fact she needs to be somewhere in several hours time. We've also tried the more visual dry wipe board somewhere we thought was prominent (on the fridge door) but that failed to keep it in her memory.
An iPhone set with reminders is too technical for her but we need some sort of electronic device that will ring an alarm at a set time and display what she needs to do. Is there anything that is not as complicated as an IDevice out there?
We don't want her to feel she's lost her independence as she's been/is aware her memory is failing her and we've had to gently suggest that driving is just not a good thing to do anymore when she gets flustered as she can't remember where's she is going
I adore my old Mum and I/we want to help her maintain an active enjoyable life for her as long as I/we can.
she needs an assessment for dementia ( alzheiner's is just one of the hundreds of different forms of dementia) it may be that some of the medications available may be useful , otherwise suitable support and care may mean that quality of life for both of them can be improved at least i nthe short to medium term , until you mum;s care needs become more complex ... We got to the point a few years back where each time you saw here she'd tell you something as if it was for the first time but we've now progressed to that happening several times within the same visit so she's clearly deteriorating.
My father also 82 but with all his brain cells still there (and still working within the construction industry a few days a week!) is now getting to the frustrating point where he cannot leave her to go to work for the day if she has something she has to do like go to a hairdressers appointment at a set time. She's got a diary and looks at it but cannot retain the fact she needs to be somewhere in several hours time. We've also tried the more visual dry wipe board somewhere we thought was prominent (on the fridge door) but that failed to keep it in her memory.
An iPhone set with reminders is too technical for her but we need some sort of electronic device that will ring an alarm at a set time and display what she needs to do. Is there anything that is not as complicated as an IDevice out there?
We don't want her to feel she's lost her independence as she's been/is aware her memory is failing her and we've had to gently suggest that driving is just not a good thing to do anymore when she gets flustered as she can't remember where's she is going
I adore my old Mum and I/we want to help her maintain an active enjoyable life for her as long as I/we can.
I hope you get your mum sorted. Talk to her GP as a starting point.
Re: the driving. Someone else (maybe you) needs to take the lead here and stop her from driving if you feel in anyway she might be a danger to herself or others.
Difficult I know but please don't wait until after an accident.
Re: the driving. Someone else (maybe you) needs to take the lead here and stop her from driving if you feel in anyway she might be a danger to herself or others.
Difficult I know but please don't wait until after an accident.
Consider contacting your local authority adult social care services in the first instance. Your mother is potentially a "vulnerable adult" and the duty to assess need is triggered by the knowledge of the vulnerable adult on the patch. I would specifically be thinking about what might be available through their OT/adaptive technology/living aids programmes.
If you felt it had reached that level, a trip to the GP could be useful - a number of the "anti-dementia" drugs are now off patent and cost to treat has reduced significantly which has resulted in greater freedoms to prescribe as the cost constraints are a non-issue (Aricept is now, literally, pennies per month for example)
paul
If you felt it had reached that level, a trip to the GP could be useful - a number of the "anti-dementia" drugs are now off patent and cost to treat has reduced significantly which has resulted in greater freedoms to prescribe as the cost constraints are a non-issue (Aricept is now, literally, pennies per month for example)
paul
I was battling this with my Mum (same age) for the past few years. I could see her getting worse gradually, but she deteriorated quite rapidly in the space of a few months. She went from getting the bus into town on her own OK last Sept/Oct to full on delirium/delusional state and setting fire to her house (fortunately not seriously, but by luck than anything else) at Easter this year. She had to go to hospital, and from there went into full time dementia nursing care, and never came home.
It's a cruel, cruel illness and is very stressful to deal with someone in that condition.
I had tried to get her to seek help, but, unsuccessfully, as the parent/child syndrome becomes more of a problem as the memory regresses to years back. You are going to have to persuade your father to seek help I suggest rather than you, and you may find that outside agencies will only deal with him rather than you anyway. My father had died over a decade ago, which made matters worse for me, as she would have listened to my father about seeking help, but not me. Fortunately, she did agree to give me LPA a year before, which has made life somewhat easier for me to deal with her affairs...and dealing with social services/hospital/care homes etc.
Best of luck...it's not an easy road that you will be taking I'm afraid, and I'm still learning how to deal with my poor mothers condition, even for the days I visit her in the home.
It's a cruel, cruel illness and is very stressful to deal with someone in that condition.
I had tried to get her to seek help, but, unsuccessfully, as the parent/child syndrome becomes more of a problem as the memory regresses to years back. You are going to have to persuade your father to seek help I suggest rather than you, and you may find that outside agencies will only deal with him rather than you anyway. My father had died over a decade ago, which made matters worse for me, as she would have listened to my father about seeking help, but not me. Fortunately, she did agree to give me LPA a year before, which has made life somewhat easier for me to deal with her affairs...and dealing with social services/hospital/care homes etc.
Best of luck...it's not an easy road that you will be taking I'm afraid, and I'm still learning how to deal with my poor mothers condition, even for the days I visit her in the home.
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