F***ing Churches and Funerals
F***ing Churches and Funerals
Author
Discussion

IvanSTi

Original Poster:

635 posts

150 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
I just want to vent and can't elsewhere without upsetting people.

I attended a funeral of a very good friend of mine yesterday, 39 years old, well loved by everyone, but for some reason decided he'd had enough and didn't bother to speak to anyone before ending it all.

I can't imagine what was going through his head, but I really hope he didn't think that there was no one to turn to in his hour of need, there were approx 450 people at the funeral, I'm sure at least one of us would have sat with him and talked through his troubles, no matter what they are.

Very sad.

However the church funeral, they really do piss me off something rotten. OK it was a church ceremony, so there's going to be an element of religion about it, however, if it wasn't for the two women who stood up and talked about the lad, there would only have been one sentence uttered which was about him.

The rest of it was all about how fking great God is, how he'll comfort him in his passing, how dark turns to light.

fk OFF, s. How is he a fking good thing? if he does exists, why the fk did my mate decide to hang himself? eh? Why did my Grandad have cancer for the last 10 years of his life which crippled him? Why did my Grandma spend the end of her life like a vegetable? Why did he cripple my 3 year old uncle and make him spend the next 70 years in car and unable to do ANYTHING? Why is my dads brain constantly bleeding and constantly has minor strokes? Why are there insects which live in peoples eyes and eat them from the inside out? Why are there parasites which live in snails which control their minds to commit suicide? (Google that one, it's interesting). Why does any of this exists? if God is out there, he's a fking wker and I hope I never have to cross him.

fking s and your religion, go and jump off a cliff.

MX51ROD

2,861 posts

178 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
I take it you are an atheist then

bobtail4x4

4,456 posts

140 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
So I can put you down as a dont know?

Landlord

12,689 posts

288 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
You might like this

Also, condolences on the loss of your friend. Tragic in all sorts of ways.

IvanSTi

Original Poster:

635 posts

150 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
Landlord said:
You might like this

Also, condolences on the loss of your friend. Tragic in all sorts of ways.
Yes, I've seen that, brilliant.

Unbelievable how educated people in this day and age are strung along by this bks.

And thank you, huge tragedy and will be a big loss.

IvanSTi

Original Poster:

635 posts

150 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
MX51ROD said:
I take it you are an atheist then
bobtail4x4 said:
So I can put you down as a dont know?
hehe yes, firmly on the fence with regard to this matter.

Rh14n

1,130 posts

139 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
Was it a Catholici 'do'? I recently went to such an event where the deceased was barely mentioned. Very strange and impersonal.

Bluebarge

4,519 posts

209 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
My condolences but it was presumably his relatives wish that he have a church funeral and those follow a set pattern where there is a church service, containing a eulogy to the departed, which is the bit where people get to remember him (this would have been the bit where the two women spoke). There is usually then a reception afterwards where people also get to reminisce if they wish to.

His relatives probably found the religious aspect of the service comforting, so I'm not sure why you're venting about it - it was their choice and their son/brother they were burying so it's their prerogative.

You're free to plan your own funeral however you wish.

hornetrider

63,161 posts

236 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
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bobtail4x4 said:
So I can put you down as a dont know?


OP - sorry for your loss. I'm inclined to agree. Went to a wedding in a church and the vicar actually gave a full on 20 minute sermon which was precisely fk all to do with getting married. Bizarre.

Eric Mc

125,904 posts

296 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
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I presume it was the deceased's choice to have a church funeral? If so, you have to respect that and not get too upset about it.

Indeed, I think it is mildly in bad taste to get angry at someone else's funeral.

Perhaps your anger is actually more about the circumstances of his death rather than the nature of the funeral. I'd certainly be angry about that.

Stickyfinger

8,429 posts

136 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
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With so many opinions in your "rant", maybe a reason he did not talk to you and others, from your post it seems your not a "let it be" sort of person.

Their choice, they knew what they were going to get and wanted it for their son, each to their own.

IvanSTi

Original Poster:

635 posts

150 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
Bluebarge said:
My condolences but it was presumably his relatives wish that he have a church funeral and those follow a set pattern where there is a church service, containing a eulogy to the departed, which is the bit where people get to remember him (this would have been the bit where the two women spoke). There is usually then a reception afterwards where people also get to reminisce if they wish to.

His relatives probably found the religious aspect of the service comforting, so I'm not sure why you're venting about it - it was their choice and their son/brother they were burying so it's their prerogative.

You're free to plan your own funeral however you wish.
Eric Mc said:
I presume it was the deceased's choice to have a church funeral? If so, you have to respect that and not get too upset about it.

Indeed, I think it is mildly in bad taste to get angry at someone else's funeral.

Perhaps your anger is actually more about the circumstances of his death rather than the nature of the funeral. I'd certainly be angry about that.
Like I said, it was a church funeral (Not Catholic, for they who asked above) so religion is expected to be had, rather than the like of the Crematorium. It's not that which bothered me, it's OK, it's comforting as you say.

It's the fact that gods all wonderful and great and cuddly, unless you cross him of course. And that he can't do any wrong, yet, this sort of st happens. So really? God's super-fantastic, yet inflicts pain and anguish onto everything that lives.

Eric maybe you're right, it certainly has upset me and may be that which has made my anger grow. Just wanted to vent and better to do it here where it doesn't matter than somewhere where his friends/family could be further upset.

IvanSTi

Original Poster:

635 posts

150 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
Stickyfinger said:
With so many opinions in your "rant", maybe a reason he did not talk to you and others, from your post it seems your not a "let it be" sort of person.
I've no idea what your point is here?

So if I was a "let it be" person, it would have been better for him to come to me and say "Ivan, I'm going to kill myself", "Fire away mate, your choice"....you think that's a better ending? I have no idea what your point is?

Moonhawk

10,730 posts

250 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
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I attended my nieces dads funeral a couple of years back. He dies suddenly just before his 40th birthday so probably hadn't had chance to specify any funeral arrangements. Whilst not quite as bad as the OP's - there was a lot of religious gubbins in there.

The guy himself was an atheist with quite strong negative views on religion. Anyone who knew him will have known his beliefs (he was quite outspoken) and I found the whole service a tad disrespectful if i'm honest.

Impasse

15,099 posts

272 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
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No need to be angry about someone finding their on route to peace.

Stickyfinger

8,429 posts

136 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
IvanSTi said:
I've no idea what your point is here?
That is the problem.

Not many "listeners" out there, mostly "ranters". I am sorry for the loss but your rant.....

IvanSTi

Original Poster:

635 posts

150 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
Impasse said:
No need to be angry about someone finding their on route to peace.
I'm not angry about the parent's way of finding peace, if that is indeed what they were doing, I don't have anything against religious people having comfort in a God/afterlife/whatever, some people can't take it that there's nothing after we're here. That's all fine and dandy.

IvanSTi

Original Poster:

635 posts

150 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
[redacted]

Some Gump

13,018 posts

217 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
[redacted]

Impasse

15,099 posts

272 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
quotequote all
IvanSTi said:
I'm not angry about the parent's way of finding peace, if that is indeed what they were doing, I don't have anything against religious people having comfort in a God/afterlife/whatever, some people can't take it that there's nothing after we're here. That's all fine and dandy.
I meant no need to be upset about the way in which your friend decided to end their suffering. Be glad that they are no longer in pain and celebrate that instead of dwelling on their chosen method.