You love 'em but they drive you mad.....
Discussion
Friends who are f
kwits.
I'm currently sitting in the house wondering if a friend of mine is going to turn up.
Don't get me wrong. We love him to bits but dear God he makes a valley girl on sedation look switched on.
Imagine if Trigger from Only Fools and Horses had been born posh. This is what this chap is like.
Kind, caring and good company, he just doesn't get life despite actually holding down a good job and also being a qualified pilot.
He has been to our present home several times yet always asks for the post code for his sat nav. It was the same at the old house.
For some reason he only now communicates on Facebook messenger. My fault. Another friend wanted to get in touch with him about a small project so I did one of those joint messages to them both introducing them. He will now only communicate with me on that message so the other guy is CC'd into everything he writes!
Why can't he call me? Apparently I'm always changing my numbers. I've had the same mobile number since 1998.
He'll come over and marvel at one of my cars. "How long have you had that?" He'll ask bowled over by a run of the mill Freelander. "Two and a half years. You've been in it" to which he'll react with disbelief.
We used to work in the same firm, different departments. That would be 15 years ago. I left 3 years ago but I'm not sure he took that in.
So today I am waiting in. He told me - and the other guy CCd in on the message who doesn't need to know that he was coming to see me today with a gift. (He is very generous and as a hobby is a very talented wood worker, artist and model maker. If you go in the model section here there is a guy who customises model cars, my mate does stuff like that but with military models)
I got the message and the usual post code request last week to say he'd like to come over. His mobile is off (no voicemail naturally)
Is he coming today or not? He's not replying to Messanger or texts - well his phone is off. He's probably left it in his car, his shed, China, on a train, or just lost the charger.
Either that or he's sitting outside our now long closed offices in the car park wondering why there's no-one there and complaining that his door fob doesn't work.
I hope he comes. I'm looking forward to seeing him and going for a beer or two over a nice lunch.
kwits.I'm currently sitting in the house wondering if a friend of mine is going to turn up.
Don't get me wrong. We love him to bits but dear God he makes a valley girl on sedation look switched on.
Imagine if Trigger from Only Fools and Horses had been born posh. This is what this chap is like.
Kind, caring and good company, he just doesn't get life despite actually holding down a good job and also being a qualified pilot.
He has been to our present home several times yet always asks for the post code for his sat nav. It was the same at the old house.
For some reason he only now communicates on Facebook messenger. My fault. Another friend wanted to get in touch with him about a small project so I did one of those joint messages to them both introducing them. He will now only communicate with me on that message so the other guy is CC'd into everything he writes!
Why can't he call me? Apparently I'm always changing my numbers. I've had the same mobile number since 1998.
He'll come over and marvel at one of my cars. "How long have you had that?" He'll ask bowled over by a run of the mill Freelander. "Two and a half years. You've been in it" to which he'll react with disbelief.
We used to work in the same firm, different departments. That would be 15 years ago. I left 3 years ago but I'm not sure he took that in.
So today I am waiting in. He told me - and the other guy CCd in on the message who doesn't need to know that he was coming to see me today with a gift. (He is very generous and as a hobby is a very talented wood worker, artist and model maker. If you go in the model section here there is a guy who customises model cars, my mate does stuff like that but with military models)
I got the message and the usual post code request last week to say he'd like to come over. His mobile is off (no voicemail naturally)
Is he coming today or not? He's not replying to Messanger or texts - well his phone is off. He's probably left it in his car, his shed, China, on a train, or just lost the charger.
Either that or he's sitting outside our now long closed offices in the car park wondering why there's no-one there and complaining that his door fob doesn't work.
I hope he comes. I'm looking forward to seeing him and going for a beer or two over a nice lunch.
OP, I'm impressed with the way you allow other people to decide what sort of day you are going to have. I think giving up your valuable day to this guy and his behaviour is very decent of you, after all life is far too long and there will be more days like this that you can actually take charge of and do your own thing, yes?
Alternatively of course you could decide right now that you are in charge of your day and tell him that if you are in great, if not then he's wasted his journey. The fact his mobile is not on is his lookout.
Alternatively of course you could decide right now that you are in charge of your day and tell him that if you are in great, if not then he's wasted his journey. The fact his mobile is not on is his lookout.
Sounds like a bit of a twit. We have a new manager here, (well 2 years) who is the same. Ex RAF intelligence officer and a prize pudding. Lovely chap but fk me he is useless!
I reckon due to a rich family and private education he has gotten where he is. If he came from a normal working class background he would probably be homeless.
k me he is useless!I reckon due to a rich family and private education he has gotten where he is. If he came from a normal working class background he would probably be homeless.
Edited by Rick101 on Saturday 15th August 10:23
wildcat45 said:
Friends who are fkwits.
I'm currently sitting in the house wondering if a friend of mine is going to turn up.
Don't get me wrong. We love him to bits but dear God he makes a valley girl on sedation look switched on.
Imagine if Trigger from Only Fools and Horses had been born posh. This is what this chap is like.
Kind, caring and good company, he just doesn't get life despite actually holding down a good job and also being a qualified pilot.
He has been to our present home several times yet always asks for the post code for his sat nav. It was the same at the old house.
For some reason he only now communicates on Facebook messenger. My fault. Another friend wanted to get in touch with him about a small project so I did one of those joint messages to them both introducing them. He will now only communicate with me on that message so the other guy is CC'd into everything he writes!
Why can't he call me? Apparently I'm always changing my numbers. I've had the same mobile number since 1998.
He'll come over and marvel at one of my cars. "How long have you had that?" He'll ask bowled over by a run of the mill Freelander. "Two and a half years. You've been in it" to which he'll react with disbelief.
We used to work in the same firm, different departments. That would be 15 years ago. I left 3 years ago but I'm not sure he took that in.
So today I am waiting in. He told me - and the other guy CCd in on the message who doesn't need to know that he was coming to see me today with a gift. (He is very generous and as a hobby is a very talented wood worker, artist and model maker. If you go in the model section here there is a guy who customises model cars, my mate does stuff like that but with military models)
I got the message and the usual post code request last week to say he'd like to come over. His mobile is off (no voicemail naturally)
Is he coming today or not? He's not replying to Messanger or texts - well his phone is off. He's probably left it in his car, his shed, China, on a train, or just lost the charger.
Either that or he's sitting outside our now long closed offices in the car park wondering why there's no-one there and complaining that his door fob doesn't work.
I hope he comes. I'm looking forward to seeing him and going for a beer or two over a nice lunch.
He's a Pilot! Jesus, how come he's never forgotten where he took of from, and how to land the bloody plane !!kwits.I'm currently sitting in the house wondering if a friend of mine is going to turn up.
Don't get me wrong. We love him to bits but dear God he makes a valley girl on sedation look switched on.
Imagine if Trigger from Only Fools and Horses had been born posh. This is what this chap is like.
Kind, caring and good company, he just doesn't get life despite actually holding down a good job and also being a qualified pilot.
He has been to our present home several times yet always asks for the post code for his sat nav. It was the same at the old house.
For some reason he only now communicates on Facebook messenger. My fault. Another friend wanted to get in touch with him about a small project so I did one of those joint messages to them both introducing them. He will now only communicate with me on that message so the other guy is CC'd into everything he writes!
Why can't he call me? Apparently I'm always changing my numbers. I've had the same mobile number since 1998.
He'll come over and marvel at one of my cars. "How long have you had that?" He'll ask bowled over by a run of the mill Freelander. "Two and a half years. You've been in it" to which he'll react with disbelief.
We used to work in the same firm, different departments. That would be 15 years ago. I left 3 years ago but I'm not sure he took that in.
So today I am waiting in. He told me - and the other guy CCd in on the message who doesn't need to know that he was coming to see me today with a gift. (He is very generous and as a hobby is a very talented wood worker, artist and model maker. If you go in the model section here there is a guy who customises model cars, my mate does stuff like that but with military models)
I got the message and the usual post code request last week to say he'd like to come over. His mobile is off (no voicemail naturally)
Is he coming today or not? He's not replying to Messanger or texts - well his phone is off. He's probably left it in his car, his shed, China, on a train, or just lost the charger.
Either that or he's sitting outside our now long closed offices in the car park wondering why there's no-one there and complaining that his door fob doesn't work.
I hope he comes. I'm looking forward to seeing him and going for a beer or two over a nice lunch.
Ah it was supposed to be light hearted. He dropped in an hour ago. Lots of news and the day is a much better one for having seen him.
He did the usual marvelling at my cars - but remembered he'd seen it before.
And the gift? A lovely book about aircraft carriers.
Sadly there wasn't time for lunch.
Still a posh version of Trigger though!
The line about being homeless if he was working class makes me laugh. It's him exactly! And he too is ex-military. A very short commission in the Royal Navy many moons ago.
"Lovely people but the Captain got a bit shouty when we hit that bloody French car ferry". (I made that up but you get my drift)
He did the usual marvelling at my cars - but remembered he'd seen it before.
And the gift? A lovely book about aircraft carriers.
Sadly there wasn't time for lunch.
Still a posh version of Trigger though!
The line about being homeless if he was working class makes me laugh. It's him exactly! And he too is ex-military. A very short commission in the Royal Navy many moons ago.
"Lovely people but the Captain got a bit shouty when we hit that bloody French car ferry". (I made that up but you get my drift)
Edited by wildcat45 on Saturday 15th August 12:24
Rick101 said:
Sounds like a bit of a twit. We have a new manager here, (well 2 years) who is the same. Ex RAF intelligence officer and a prize pudding. Lovely chap but fk me he is useless!
I reckon due to a rich family and private education he has gotten where he is. If he came from a normal working class background he would probably be homeless.
RAF Intelligence Officer - a complete contradiction in terms. Chances are if he ended up an IntO then he isn't quite as clever as he was expected to be!k me he is useless!I reckon due to a rich family and private education he has gotten where he is. If he came from a normal working class background he would probably be homeless.
Edited by Rick101 on Saturday 15th August 10:23
Had me laughing, great post OP.
We all have them don't we?
Know a couple of brothers like this, privately educated both exceptionaly smart and funny. But fk me they are bloody useless at times.
One was saving up for a van to start a removals business, I'd of thought the bad back would of put him off. Went on holiday to the caribean and spunked all his cash on hookers, coke and god knows what.
Got him down the other weekend and paid his petrol and beer money, lovelly guy. One of my best mates but whenever he comes down I'm always wondering what's happened this time.
His brother who went to Eton is even worse
We all have them don't we?
Know a couple of brothers like this, privately educated both exceptionaly smart and funny. But f
k me they are bloody useless at times. One was saving up for a van to start a removals business, I'd of thought the bad back would of put him off. Went on holiday to the caribean and spunked all his cash on hookers, coke and god knows what.
Got him down the other weekend and paid his petrol and beer money, lovelly guy. One of my best mates but whenever he comes down I'm always wondering what's happened this time.
His brother who went to Eton is even worse
OP, your mate used to be on TV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tekXxB6dosQ
Ari said:
OP, your mate used to be on TV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tekXxB6dosQ
Oh yes that's him.wildcat45 said:
Ari said:
OP, your mate used to be on TV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tekXxB6dosQ
Oh yes that's him.
If being a pilot is what this chap does for a living kindly tell us all who we works for so those of us who would rather not die by falling from 34,000ft, that way we can avoid flying with him.
If it's the Aberdeen - Manchester Flybe shuttle then I have clearly diced with death many times
If it's the Aberdeen - Manchester Flybe shuttle then I have clearly diced with death many times
I think it is possible to be utterly clueless at life, but still be top-notch and responsible in areas that are important to you. I have a very old friend from childhood who is completely useless at most things, quite child-like in some ways, yet is a diabetes specialist (and apparently very good at it). Ask him to wire a plug, or find the bonnet catch on his own car and he would fail miserably. Lovely bloke and very good company; it's quite telling that his ex-wife still looks after him, but wouldn't live in the same house with him ever again as he drove her up the wall.
We don't see each other that often, met up last year for lunch. He was quite pleased to show me his new car (Skoda Yeti), but admitted he did not know what most of the dashboard controls did, if it's like his last one the sat-nav will never get used. I also found out a while later that he had managed to put the wrong registration on his car-park ticket, so he had one of the lovely "Parking-Eye" letters.
We don't see each other that often, met up last year for lunch. He was quite pleased to show me his new car (Skoda Yeti), but admitted he did not know what most of the dashboard controls did, if it's like his last one the sat-nav will never get used. I also found out a while later that he had managed to put the wrong registration on his car-park ticket, so he had one of the lovely "Parking-Eye" letters.
selym said:
Rick101 said:
Sounds like a bit of a twit. We have a new manager here, (well 2 years) who is the same. Ex RAF intelligence officer and a prize pudding. Lovely chap but fk me he is useless!
I reckon due to a rich family and private education he has gotten where he is. If he came from a normal working class background he would probably be homeless.
RAF Intelligence Officer - a complete contradiction in terms. Chances are if he ended up an IntO then he isn't quite as clever as he was expected to be!k me he is useless!I reckon due to a rich family and private education he has gotten where he is. If he came from a normal working class background he would probably be homeless.
Edited by Rick101 on Saturday 15th August 10:23
By qualified pilot I meant private pilot, light plane stuff. Don't worry, he wont't be stuffing your holiday jet into a hillside.
I just remembered another one of his "episodes"
We were driving along in his car - this was about 2006 - and we were navigating via his new Tom Tom. He kept getting angry with it. "Bloody thing keeps bleeping for no reason and that thing on the screen flashes red. It stops when I brake" he then demonstrates this to me. "It's been annoying me for weeks"
I explain its telling him he's breaking the speed limit.
"Yes but how does it know?"
It was a long journey.
I just remembered another one of his "episodes"
We were driving along in his car - this was about 2006 - and we were navigating via his new Tom Tom. He kept getting angry with it. "Bloody thing keeps bleeping for no reason and that thing on the screen flashes red. It stops when I brake" he then demonstrates this to me. "It's been annoying me for weeks"
I explain its telling him he's breaking the speed limit.
"Yes but how does it know?"
It was a long journey.
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