Relationship over, want to move out, but...
Discussion
... she has told me I'll still be liable for half of ALL the bills if I go!?
Bit of background, together 2.5 years, no children, joint mortgage, house on market. There is no way back and I would like to leave the joint home. She has apparently spoken to the 'legal' department at her place of work who have informed her that if I go, I would be liable for half of all the bills if I go.
This doesn't sound right to me but before I challenge it I'd like to ask the legal minds of PH. What will I be liable for beyond the mortgage, is she right?
Bit of background, together 2.5 years, no children, joint mortgage, house on market. There is no way back and I would like to leave the joint home. She has apparently spoken to the 'legal' department at her place of work who have informed her that if I go, I would be liable for half of all the bills if I go.
This doesn't sound right to me but before I challenge it I'd like to ask the legal minds of PH. What will I be liable for beyond the mortgage, is she right?
In my mind, and how it worked when I split from a previous relationship...
not married, no kids, joint mortgage.
Lived together until she got a new bloke and moved out (yes it was weird).
She continued to pay half the mortgage and buildings insurance and that was it. I informed the council to reduce my council tax and we carried on that way until she decided to buy me out.
I wasn't vindictive and didn't see why she should pay for utilities she wasn't using.
hope this helps, but as it seems she's already claiming legal advice has been sought I don't feel my reasonable non vindictive approach is a goer for you
not married, no kids, joint mortgage.
Lived together until she got a new bloke and moved out (yes it was weird).
She continued to pay half the mortgage and buildings insurance and that was it. I informed the council to reduce my council tax and we carried on that way until she decided to buy me out.
I wasn't vindictive and didn't see why she should pay for utilities she wasn't using.
hope this helps, but as it seems she's already claiming legal advice has been sought I don't feel my reasonable non vindictive approach is a goer for you
NickM450 said:
... she has told me I'll still be liable for half of ALL the bills if I go!?
Bit of background, together 2.5 years, no children, joint mortgage, house on market. There is no way back and I would like to leave the joint home. She has apparently spoken to the 'legal' department at her place of work who have informed her that if I go, I would be liable for half of all the bills if I go.
This doesn't sound right to me but before I challenge it I'd like to ask the legal minds of PH. What will I be liable for beyond the mortgage, is she right?
Let's face it, some bills are contractual - e.g broadband until you can terminate that may be reasonable to contribute towards. Some are variable - gas, electricity, etc that you will not be consuming.Bit of background, together 2.5 years, no children, joint mortgage, house on market. There is no way back and I would like to leave the joint home. She has apparently spoken to the 'legal' department at her place of work who have informed her that if I go, I would be liable for half of all the bills if I go.
This doesn't sound right to me but before I challenge it I'd like to ask the legal minds of PH. What will I be liable for beyond the mortgage, is she right?
IANAL. Her legal dept at work are unlikely to be specialists unless she works at a law firm and it certainly won't be indemnified legal advice.
You both signed up to the mortgage so both have liability to pay it. You still pay it when you are away on holiday so why would you not pay it when you are away staying somewhere else. Once you decide what you are doing you will need to sell the house (and each make a loss or a profit depending on the value) or one of you could buy out the other and then would be liable for the whole amount (though may struggle to get a mortgage for the whole value on only one salary).
Your house too so you don’t have to move out but depending on the value and the ability of one of you to take on the whole mortgage it is often easier to sell up. Negative equity and other issues can make this hard to achieve if you haven’t been there long, best advice is probably to stay put till you can decide together what you want to do. Some of the options may not be financially viable which might make it a fairly simple decision.
Your house too so you don’t have to move out but depending on the value and the ability of one of you to take on the whole mortgage it is often easier to sell up. Negative equity and other issues can make this hard to achieve if you haven’t been there long, best advice is probably to stay put till you can decide together what you want to do. Some of the options may not be financially viable which might make it a fairly simple decision.
andburg said:
In my mind, and how it worked when I split from a previous relationship...
not married, no kids, joint mortgage.
Lived together until she got a new bloke and moved out (yes it was weird).
She continued to pay half the mortgage and buildings insurance and that was it. I informed the council to reduce my council tax and we carried on that way until she decided to buy me out.
I wasn't vindictive and didn't see why she should pay for utilities she wasn't using.
hope this helps, but as it seems she's already claiming legal advice has been sought I don't feel my reasonable non vindictive approach is a goer for you
That's the exact situation we're in. We've lived together for a few months now since I broke it up, she has a new bloke and I want out of house. I fully understand I am liable for mortgage and more than happy to pay. Didn't realise I would have to pay for utilities too, even when I'm not there. not married, no kids, joint mortgage.
Lived together until she got a new bloke and moved out (yes it was weird).
She continued to pay half the mortgage and buildings insurance and that was it. I informed the council to reduce my council tax and we carried on that way until she decided to buy me out.
I wasn't vindictive and didn't see why she should pay for utilities she wasn't using.
hope this helps, but as it seems she's already claiming legal advice has been sought I don't feel my reasonable non vindictive approach is a goer for you
As it stands, mortgage and Council Tax are the only 2 joint bills, Gas& Elec and Water are in mine, phone/broadband is in hers.
My plan was to agree a date that I would leave, with all of my things, including things that we have together and shared out etc. Leaving nothing at all, then calling Water, Gas & Elec to tell them I am leaving, doing meter readings for a final bill and telling then that she is now on her own.
My plan was to agree a date that I would leave, with all of my things, including things that we have together and shared out etc. Leaving nothing at all, then calling Water, Gas & Elec to tell them I am leaving, doing meter readings for a final bill and telling then that she is now on her own.
NickM450 said:
As it stands, mortgage and Council Tax are the only 2 joint bills, Gas& Elec and Water are in mine, phone/broadband is in hers.
My plan was to agree a date that I would leave, with all of my things, including things that we have together and shared out etc. Leaving nothing at all, then calling Water, Gas & Elec to tell them I am leaving, doing meter readings for a final bill and telling then that she is now on her own.
That seems entirely correct. You aren't liable for her use of gas, electric and water after you've left. Anymore than you are liable for her shopping bills and hairdressing expense. My plan was to agree a date that I would leave, with all of my things, including things that we have together and shared out etc. Leaving nothing at all, then calling Water, Gas & Elec to tell them I am leaving, doing meter readings for a final bill and telling then that she is now on her own.
NickM450 said:
As it stands, mortgage and Council Tax are the only 2 joint bills, Gas& Elec and Water are in mine, phone/broadband is in hers.
My plan was to agree a date that I would leave, with all of my things, including things that we have together and shared out etc. Leaving nothing at all, then calling Water, Gas & Elec to tell them I am leaving, doing meter readings for a final bill and telling then that she is now on her own.
This is exactly what I would do...My plan was to agree a date that I would leave, with all of my things, including things that we have together and shared out etc. Leaving nothing at all, then calling Water, Gas & Elec to tell them I am leaving, doing meter readings for a final bill and telling then that she is now on her own.
Set a date for leaving, advise her and close the accounts for electricity/gas/water providing your ex as the new billpayer.
Phone/Broadband are her problem, if you feel generous then maybe offer to contribute half of these 2 bills for the remainder of the contract. Would have been easier if it was all in your name that way you could just move your phone/BB service to another premises
PurpleMoonlight said:
It would be fairer to wait until the house is sold.
She may not be able to afford 100% of the utility & council tax costs.
He could still pay for it if it's in her name, would just involve her passing the bills to him, but at least it wouldn't be him on the hook from a credit rating point of view. Otherwise it's something she can use as leverage, isn't it?She may not be able to afford 100% of the utility & council tax costs.
Durzel said:
He could still pay for it if it's in her name, would just involve her passing the bills to him, but at least it wouldn't be him on the hook from a credit rating point of view. Otherwise it's something she can use as leverage, isn't it?
I suspect he doesn't want to otherwise he would have been happy with only 50% and no need for this thread ....It sounds as though the relationship has not ended entirely on good terms but it would be sensible not to use your asset (the house) as a beating stick.
Is your ex financially stable and easily able to afford the mortgage and the bills? If so, then I would go with your current plan to pay your bills and close the accounts.
If she's not in a position to afford it all, then if you play real hardball, she's literally holding the keys to your asset. If you back her into a corner which puts her in financial difficulty while she's still part owner of the house, then what happens if she defaults on her 50% mortgage payment? You would likely end up footing the difference so as not to risk your house and you'd have paid for the equivalent of some money towards bills anyway.
It's going to need a sensible and pragmatic approach, I would wager, until your house is sold.
Is your ex financially stable and easily able to afford the mortgage and the bills? If so, then I would go with your current plan to pay your bills and close the accounts.
If she's not in a position to afford it all, then if you play real hardball, she's literally holding the keys to your asset. If you back her into a corner which puts her in financial difficulty while she's still part owner of the house, then what happens if she defaults on her 50% mortgage payment? You would likely end up footing the difference so as not to risk your house and you'd have paid for the equivalent of some money towards bills anyway.
It's going to need a sensible and pragmatic approach, I would wager, until your house is sold.
PurpleMoonlight said:
It would be fairer to wait until the house is sold.
She may not be able to afford 100% of the utility & council tax costs.
This is the issue, she has previously said that she can't afford to live there on her own, it's the only reason I'm still at the house, else I would have moved out long ago.She may not be able to afford 100% of the utility & council tax costs.
bodhi808 said:
It sounds as though the relationship has not ended entirely on good terms but it would be sensible not to use your asset (the house) as a beating stick.
Is your ex financially stable and easily able to afford the mortgage and the bills? If so, then I would go with your current plan to pay your bills and close the accounts.
If she's not in a position to afford it all, then if you play real hardball, she's literally holding the keys to your asset. If you back her into a corner which puts her in financial difficulty while she's still part owner of the house, then what happens if she defaults on her 50% mortgage payment? You would likely end up footing the difference so as not to risk your house and you'd have paid for the equivalent of some money towards bills anyway.
It's going to need a sensible and pragmatic approach, I would wager, until your house is sold.
I hate sensible people sometimes Is your ex financially stable and easily able to afford the mortgage and the bills? If so, then I would go with your current plan to pay your bills and close the accounts.
If she's not in a position to afford it all, then if you play real hardball, she's literally holding the keys to your asset. If you back her into a corner which puts her in financial difficulty while she's still part owner of the house, then what happens if she defaults on her 50% mortgage payment? You would likely end up footing the difference so as not to risk your house and you'd have paid for the equivalent of some money towards bills anyway.
It's going to need a sensible and pragmatic approach, I would wager, until your house is sold.
The issue I've got with the house is the way she is acting, she has started to bring this new bloke home. I came home last night, albeit a tad later than usual, and they were there together, just getting dressed. It's a work night so she knows full well I'd be home yet she still did it.
No it hasn't ended entirely well and we have not spoken for over a week.
Edited by NickM450 on Wednesday 19th August 13:14
OP, just a little thought for you to throw out there tonight.
What is she paying you in terms of rent for your half of the house that you have equity/mortgage payments invested in? I'm just throwing it out there.
BTW did you buy as Joint Tenants or as Tenants in Common? If you don't know you need to find out and you need to know the ramifications of each now that you have split up. Especially if you are into doing things that might result in a nasty mess on the floor as I am sure that you really would not want your share of the house to pass to her by survivorship, and expect she feels the same.
Bottom line is that the very best thing would be to hold out in the house until it is sold. I did that, it wasn't always easy, but it sure stopped any silliness or thoughts of people living in a 4 bed detached house in the country that I was paying half of the costs for as well as a rented hovel.
What is she paying you in terms of rent for your half of the house that you have equity/mortgage payments invested in? I'm just throwing it out there.
BTW did you buy as Joint Tenants or as Tenants in Common? If you don't know you need to find out and you need to know the ramifications of each now that you have split up. Especially if you are into doing things that might result in a nasty mess on the floor as I am sure that you really would not want your share of the house to pass to her by survivorship, and expect she feels the same.
Bottom line is that the very best thing would be to hold out in the house until it is sold. I did that, it wasn't always easy, but it sure stopped any silliness or thoughts of people living in a 4 bed detached house in the country that I was paying half of the costs for as well as a rented hovel.
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