Your most cringe-worthy injury?
Discussion
I was reminded earlier that as a child, I used to enjoy the large metal slide at one of the holiday camps we stayed in.
On this particular day, I once again climbed to the top, launched myself down the slide, got my body as flat as possible (feet included) to help with the aerodynamics and due to some broken rivets managed to perfectly slice off two of my toenails as my foot went under the shiny metal sheeting in one corner!
The impact stopped me dead and I was then rushed to the paddling pool to wash off the blood as someone decided turning it into a scene from Jaws was a good idea.They did grow back, but it was a bit sore for a while.
Anything worse out there in PH land? Fishing hooks in the eye etc?
On this particular day, I once again climbed to the top, launched myself down the slide, got my body as flat as possible (feet included) to help with the aerodynamics and due to some broken rivets managed to perfectly slice off two of my toenails as my foot went under the shiny metal sheeting in one corner!
The impact stopped me dead and I was then rushed to the paddling pool to wash off the blood as someone decided turning it into a scene from Jaws was a good idea.They did grow back, but it was a bit sore for a while.
Anything worse out there in PH land? Fishing hooks in the eye etc?
Edited by Digby on Tuesday 15th September 16:56
Last year whilst walking the dogs down by the river, one of my mutts is a small lazy old sod who wouldnt walk down the not so steep bank onto the beachy bit at low tide. So i carried her down, she is only a yorkshire terrier so not very big, got to the bottom of slope, tripped on something I dont know what and went down onto my knee smashing my knee cap into bits as I was still holding the mutt! Was only a small trip, the sort you would normally look around to make sure no one else saw, but not this time!
Not me,my cousin.
Had a brief encounter with a girl whose "wrist action" was a little vigorous.
She managed to pull his foreskin back over itself, which then swelled up, stopping it going back. I had to take him to A&E the following day, as he was beside himself with worry and pain.
Apparently, the nurse lubed it up, distracted him, and then just yanked it back. I still chuckle when I recall the scream I heard him make from behind the curtain.
Had a brief encounter with a girl whose "wrist action" was a little vigorous.
She managed to pull his foreskin back over itself, which then swelled up, stopping it going back. I had to take him to A&E the following day, as he was beside himself with worry and pain.
Apparently, the nurse lubed it up, distracted him, and then just yanked it back. I still chuckle when I recall the scream I heard him make from behind the curtain.
After a good night out & a taxi ride back home, I managed to slam the car door on my hand trapping my finger. I was that pissed I was laughing about it and telling everyone what I had done rather than open the car door.
Woke up to my nail hanging off and the tip of my finger the size of a golf ball.
Woke up to my nail hanging off and the tip of my finger the size of a golf ball.
As a very small child I used to have something more modern but basically similar to this but without the protective housing around the vertical steering pole.
I was riding around naked (as you do) and rode into a kerb at speed. Promptly slid forward and got the tip of my penis caught in the pole/seat join.
I am told I screamed.
I was riding around naked (as you do) and rode into a kerb at speed. Promptly slid forward and got the tip of my penis caught in the pole/seat join.
I am told I screamed.
A few years ago I was carrying a paving slab vertically across the garden (ultra thick council grade variety). Didn't realise it had a crack in it and when the bottom half departed it hit my shin and landed on my foot. When I looked down and saw my shin bone and the skin that should be covering it flapping over my foot, thought "this is going to hurt - a lot". Several dozen stitches later I now have an impressive inverted U scar that I tell people was a shark bite. Amazingly it didn't break any bones in my foot.
My mate is a Fireman, a few years back his watch was called out to rescue a bloke impaled on railings.
When they got there they found a drunk and very shocked bride groom who had lost his door keys and tried to climb through a casement window to gain access, fallen backwards and landed on some metal railings.
The railings didn't have sharp spikes on them but decent sized round balls, one of which had gone straight up the unfortunate grooms ring piece.
It was decided to remove a small section of railings so he could be taken to hospital for treatment, however the scene was very chaotic with paramedics, police, several firemen and drunken interfering relatives all getting involved. Somehow as they lifted him free they forgot to grab hold of the offending section of railings which promptly fell out along with the contents of his bowels and a great deal of blood.......whoops.
When they got there they found a drunk and very shocked bride groom who had lost his door keys and tried to climb through a casement window to gain access, fallen backwards and landed on some metal railings.
The railings didn't have sharp spikes on them but decent sized round balls, one of which had gone straight up the unfortunate grooms ring piece.
It was decided to remove a small section of railings so he could be taken to hospital for treatment, however the scene was very chaotic with paramedics, police, several firemen and drunken interfering relatives all getting involved. Somehow as they lifted him free they forgot to grab hold of the offending section of railings which promptly fell out along with the contents of his bowels and a great deal of blood.......whoops.
I slammed my middle finger in the front edge of a car door. Not the top or the back but in the front hinged gap of the door.
The same finger had only recently healed from an unfortunate lawnmowing incident in which I had overlooked the fact that an 18" rotating metal blade takes quite a while to come to a stop once you kill the engine on a petrol mower.
That would also be the same finger which suffered rather an insult when I misjudged its proximity to a rotating alternator on a VW Scirocco.
The same finger had only recently healed from an unfortunate lawnmowing incident in which I had overlooked the fact that an 18" rotating metal blade takes quite a while to come to a stop once you kill the engine on a petrol mower.
That would also be the same finger which suffered rather an insult when I misjudged its proximity to a rotating alternator on a VW Scirocco.
July 1998. Brighton. Stag night. Paralytic. Handcuffed naked to a lampost in the centre of the Esplanade dual carriageway on a Saturday night. Had my arris slapped so hard by passers by that it was red raw. Got simulated bumming from lots of gays. One girl actually started to blow me. The worse thing was the women grabbing and abusing my meat-n-two-veg. I ended up with numerous deep bleeding nail and ring scratches. My saviour arrived in the form of a WPC driving a riot wagon. She stopped next to me. Ask if I was with anyone and I nodded to the bunch of hyenas on the opposite side of the road. She then said have a good night and drove off!
Ended the night in the Royal Sussex County Hospital having my ballbag sewn up from one of the cuts.
Ended the night in the Royal Sussex County Hospital having my ballbag sewn up from one of the cuts.
In an art lesson in high school I was scraping two craft knives together, blade to blade, wondering how long it would take to blunt them until both knives were useless. This seemed like a better use of my time than doing art. Sadly I never got to find out the answer to my question as I slipped and ran the pad of my right thumb along the upwards facing blade, putting a canny gash into my thumb. I stood up, bellowed some expletives and spent the next hour with paper towels waiting for my flesh to stick back together so I could get a plaster on it.
As it healed, it's position on the pad moving round to the outside edge made it open as I articulated my thumb, meaning it took a good few weeks to heal properly and I had plenty of time to think about what a f
king idiot I was.
As it healed, it's position on the pad moving round to the outside edge made it open as I articulated my thumb, meaning it took a good few weeks to heal properly and I had plenty of time to think about what a f
king idiot I was.
When I was maybe 5 or 6 I used to watch in awe as my older brothers used to swing on the swings and jump off at the highest point, clearing the roughly tarmacked area surrounding the swings to land on the grass.
I decided to emulate them went to leap of at the height of the arc of the swing, my bum caught the swing seat as I attempted to alight and I face planted at a high velocity into the tarmac.
I lost three front teeth and one went right through my tongue, copious amounts of blood and much hysterical screaming and being rushed to hospital.
I still have a lump on my tongue today.
I decided to emulate them went to leap of at the height of the arc of the swing, my bum caught the swing seat as I attempted to alight and I face planted at a high velocity into the tarmac.
I lost three front teeth and one went right through my tongue, copious amounts of blood and much hysterical screaming and being rushed to hospital.
I still have a lump on my tongue today.
My mate put a ski pole through his scrotum. We were skiing on an artificial slope (which has lots of holes in it) he massively fked up a pole plant and basically pole vaulted himself using his groin.
Had to go to hospital to get stiches. I ended up working at the ski slope years later and the staff still remember that injury.
ked up a pole plant and basically pole vaulted himself using his groin. Had to go to hospital to get stiches. I ended up working at the ski slope years later and the staff still remember that injury.
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