What is is with some customers?
Discussion
Don't quite know whether to post this is P&P, Business or Computer Stuff, but here goes...
I produce and sell a piece of software and recently one of my customers has been experiencing problems with some of the network communication between various components that make up the suite.
Fine I say, I'll provide support for my product, I believe in it, so if there is a problem with it then I'll fix it. All well and good, so after some troubleshooting I'm certain that there isn't a problem with my software, more that something bizarre is happening with this guys network (bearing in mind this software worked faultlessly for 6 months and then 'suddenly' started behaving badly. In my experience my software doesn't do this, if it runs for a week, it'll run forever barring sabotage or hardware failure. To the point whereby, the same stuff has been running quite happily for over 2 years at another client site.
So I ask the question again, "What has changed?" Originally I was told nothing (which I always take with a pinch of salt) but this time I get 'oh well we've only upgraded our network with new switches and VLANs'.
Right mate, so you're telling me that you've just reorganised your network infrastructure and strangely my piece of networked software is playing up eh? So this is my fault? Did it not occur to you to ask whether or not the version you are running would support this? Has anyone explained to you the significance of arbitrarily changing something quite as fundamental as your network without actually thinking about what is running on it? Good grief! You are aware of the broadcast nature of the update and keepalive messages the are exchanged between the server and clients aren't you?
Now the nork wants me to go and fix it, but is under the strange impression that I should do it for free!
I should coco, you want your network fixed you blooming pay for it mate, it worked fine until you messed with it.
Why are there so many people on this planet who should not be allowed to own IT technology?
Had to get that off my chest, sigh!
I produce and sell a piece of software and recently one of my customers has been experiencing problems with some of the network communication between various components that make up the suite.
Fine I say, I'll provide support for my product, I believe in it, so if there is a problem with it then I'll fix it. All well and good, so after some troubleshooting I'm certain that there isn't a problem with my software, more that something bizarre is happening with this guys network (bearing in mind this software worked faultlessly for 6 months and then 'suddenly' started behaving badly. In my experience my software doesn't do this, if it runs for a week, it'll run forever barring sabotage or hardware failure. To the point whereby, the same stuff has been running quite happily for over 2 years at another client site.
So I ask the question again, "What has changed?" Originally I was told nothing (which I always take with a pinch of salt) but this time I get 'oh well we've only upgraded our network with new switches and VLANs'.
Right mate, so you're telling me that you've just reorganised your network infrastructure and strangely my piece of networked software is playing up eh? So this is my fault? Did it not occur to you to ask whether or not the version you are running would support this? Has anyone explained to you the significance of arbitrarily changing something quite as fundamental as your network without actually thinking about what is running on it? Good grief! You are aware of the broadcast nature of the update and keepalive messages the are exchanged between the server and clients aren't you?
Now the nork wants me to go and fix it, but is under the strange impression that I should do it for free!
I should coco, you want your network fixed you blooming pay for it mate, it worked fine until you messed with it.
Why are there so many people on this planet who should not be allowed to own IT technology?
Had to get that off my chest, sigh!
I had one customer contact me complaining that my SysAdmin's "Remote Shutdown" utility was irresponsible and should not be made available, because his students had been shutting down each other's computers during class.
This software only works if you have administrative privileges over the target computer.
So, let me see, your network has more security holes than a swiss cheese and you've given all your students admin privileges, and it is somehow my problem?
Users, eh?
This software only works if you have administrative privileges over the target computer.
So, let me see, your network has more security holes than a swiss cheese and you've given all your students admin privileges, and it is somehow my problem?
Users, eh?
The problem here is that I genuinely want their problem solved because the message that I'm getting is that it is MY software that is the problem not their network, their wire monkey (or whatever they have that passes for a network guy) is digging his heels in and refusing to give me the trace info that I need to categorically prove that my software is not at fault, the clients clients are all being told it's MY software, and it's NOT! But I don't see why I should fix it for free? Some sod is playing politics here but seeing as this place requires an air flight to get to I can't just turn up on spec. I don't make that much out of the customer as it is.
Tell me about it. I've lost count of the number of times I have had to go to site to prove that the problem isn't mine and in the process fault found it for the customer.
These days we operate a "if the problem turns out not to be ours, we'll charge" policy. Still bloody annoying though.
These days we operate a "if the problem turns out not to be ours, we'll charge" policy. Still bloody annoying though.
I'm pretty sure that I know what is happening, there is only one situation that can cause what they are describing and that is a switch somewhere is dropping broadcast frames, but it's trying to get them to help themselves, impossible!
As a mate once said, "It's like being handcuffed to a billy goat"
>> Edited by TeamD on Monday 7th February 14:24
As a mate once said, "It's like being handcuffed to a billy goat"
>> Edited by TeamD on Monday 7th February 14:24
I have to put up with this 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.
It never ceases to amaze me how clueless some people are. It's understandable when it's not someone's job, they're a tradesman or run a shop or something and aren't expected to have an understanding of the computers/systems they use. But when you have the 'IT guy' on the line and they've messed around with things they know nothing about and start complaining when things stop working it's so frustrating!
It never ceases to amaze me how clueless some people are. It's understandable when it's not someone's job, they're a tradesman or run a shop or something and aren't expected to have an understanding of the computers/systems they use. But when you have the 'IT guy' on the line and they've messed around with things they know nothing about and start complaining when things stop working it's so frustrating!
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..."
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry ....
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Helpdesk: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on Start for me and ...
Male customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates goddamn it!
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Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me...
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Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening...
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
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Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
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Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?!?
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Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?
Female customer: A white one...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..."
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry ....
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on Start for me and ...
Male customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates goddamn it!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?!?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?
Agreed, the problem is that the network guy has 
'd up and he's now in shift the blame and cover arse mode to the point whereby he doesn't really care whether the problem gets solved. But the locale in which the client is based has very low unemployment (to the point of none) hence it would appear that some very inappropriate people have quite significant jobs...and this is at an airport gulp!
>> Edited by TeamD on Monday 7th February 14:41
'd up and he's now in shift the blame and cover arse mode to the point whereby he doesn't really care whether the problem gets solved. But the locale in which the client is based has very low unemployment (to the point of none) hence it would appear that some very inappropriate people have quite significant jobs...and this is at an airport gulp! >> Edited by TeamD on Monday 7th February 14:41
Very VERY old one, as you'll see from the fact it refers to DOS and WordPerfect, but still funny for the 1% of you who haven't seen it before
tech_joke said:
"Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.]
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.]
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
[Ah--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her monitor's power plug?]
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
[sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] "Yes, I think so."
"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
[pause] "Yes, it is."
[Hmm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt s/he would have accidentally turned it off, and I don't want to send him/her hunting for the power switch because I don't know what kind of monitor s/he has and it's bound to have more than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.] "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
[muffled] "Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
[still muffled] "I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
[clear again] "No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle--it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power cut."
"A power--!?!" ...[AAAAAAARGH!]"A power cut? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!"
TeamD said:
Agreed, the problem is that the network guy has
>> Edited by TeamD on Monday 7th February 14:41
And presumably this would be the same airport you may have to risk your neck landing at to sort the problem
TeamD said:
Landing there is tricky at the best of times, but Yes, it is!
Can't quite explain why, but I really don't like flying anymore, never used to bother me until I started meeting the muppets that run such places.
>> Edited by TeamD on Monday 7th February 14:55
what airport or country are we talking about?
Every day I have to be polite to people that speak to me as though I am a piece of dirt and have no idea how to switch a PC on, much less do anything else on it.
One guy had to get a colleague to hold down a key because he said he could do Ctrl Alt Del by himself and needed help to do it.
One guy had to get a colleague to hold down a key because he said he could do Ctrl Alt Del by himself and needed help to do it.
Hardcore2000 said:
surely you can name the country?
Alright, roughly UK but not mainland. Suitably vague?
Just to make it clear, the software has nothing to do with ATC or the likes so I am not implying that they are incompetant in that department, it's just the cross winds make for VERY Scary landings! You've gotta be a carrier based pilot in a previous life to land some places.
>> Edited by TeamD on Monday 7th February 18:11
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