Am I the only numpty...

[morebeanz]

...who struggles to get a clear reading on the dipstick?

I just don't seem to be able to get the dipstick out cleanly, and without smearing the oil all over the thing!

I try and check the oil every time I take the beast out, but it's starting to bother me that i can't really tell how much oil is there. I DO know that there IS some there though!

(stands back and waits for the hundreds of double entendres to follow)

[gbbird]

you certianly are not the only one sir! I have yet to gain anything like a good reading from my dipstick, and thats after a year of trying

[Cyclone1]

I normally wait for the car to cool down a little, take the dipstick out, give it a clean, put it back in, wiggle it about a little , remove it and I always get a messy reading on one side, but on the other side I get a clean and clear reading......

[morebeanz]

So where are the dipstick masters?

Tell us, oh Great Ones, what is the technique?

[methodwares]

Cyclone1 said:

I normally wait for the car to cool down a little, take the dipstick out, give it a clean, put it back in, wiggle it about a little , remove it and I always get a messy reading on one side, but on the other side I get a clean and clear reading......

what he said (except maybe for the wiggle), all the cars i've ever owned have had a messy side and a clean side (except for the midget cause its a straight shot in). as the oil gets blacker it should be easier to tell.

[davetherave1970]

Take it out over night. This lets the oil in the tube run down and settle so when putting the stick back in (the morning after) it's clean.
Works for me!

[gazzab]

Its easy - the secret on 1 4.5 :-

Ensure car is parked on flat surface.
Engine is cool.
Remove dipstick
Wipe.
Replace dip stick BUT dont twist at the bottom ie just push down.
Remove and check the non smeared reading (some people read on the back of the dip stick).

[morebeanz]

gazzab

Don't you find that you end up having to flex the dipstick so much to get it out that it smears anyway?

I guess I'll have to keep trying!

Thanks for all the tips, folks!

[gazzab]

I dont havea cerb anymore (sob!) so I can only talk past tense... Once I used the 'no final twist' method I could get a good reading each time I tried. Prior to that I would be there for hrs!
Also - try leaning in from passenger side of car.

[kojak]

Leave the dipstick out overnight. I do.

[jacko996]

If you twist it down you will get a heigher reading than if you dont. Which way is correct?

[trooperiziz]

I think i'm missing something here. I just pull it out, wipe it, put it back in, pull it out again and check it. Only when she is cold though.

No twisting, rubbing, jinking, swiping, slipping, leaving, jumping, ducking or swinging needed.

Never had a problem with a dirty stick or getting a good look.

[jonnie5]

trooperiziz said:

I think i'm missing something here. I just pull it out, wipe it, put it back in, pull it out again and check it. Only when she is cold though. No twisting, rubbing, jinking, swiping, slipping, leaving, jumping, ducking or swinging needed. Never had a problem with a dirty stick or getting a good look.

ditto Although if I leave it overnight, I don't even have to wipe it first

I guess the twisting thing is peculiar to 4.5s or those with a dipstick at the front (mines at the back)

cheers
Jon


PS Podie, plenty of amo in there for you

>> Edited by jonnie5 on Tuesday 8th February 15:08

[gazzab]

Yes twisting is a 4.5 thing.

[morebeanz]

Is the dipstick at the front unique to 4.5s too? I just cannot get the thing out without having to "curve" it away from the bonnet!

[FourWheelDrift]

morebeanz said:

So where are the dipstick masters?

Checking the oil is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First you have to find the right spot, it can sometimes be at the front but often at the back, this is where you'll find your gauge, this is often referred to as the G-spot. After reaching the G-spot and caressing the area you then thrust your stick in and out a few times maybe experimenting a little by rotating it or jiggling it a bit, but make sure you have a tight fit with no leaks as you wouldn't want a spillage. Then take it out stand back and admire your handywork, you may need some extra lubricant at this stage before slamming it back in to finish the job.

[davetherave1970]

trooperiziz said:

Never had a problem with a dirty stick or getting a good look.

Pervert