Catholic christening - ££ donation to the Church
Discussion
We are getting Purple Turtle Jr christened tomorrow. My wife's family are VERY catholic, mine are VERY agnostic.
No drama there though; one of the discussions we had before we got married was that it meant a lot to my wife, so the boy would be christened and probably go to our local Catholic primary school. I sucked it up, against my own views on secular schools, but somewhat stymied in that this is by far the best local state primary, so I am going along with it for the benefit of our son's education. I have taken the view that he can make his own decision as to whether it is all mumbo-jumbo sky pixie nonsense when he's older, or perhaps not - his choice as and when.
So, begrudgingly going along with it, Mrs PT has just announced that we need to make a donation to the church tomorrow, suggesting 200 quid!
Given that:
a) The Catholic church is one of the world's richest organisations
b) I don't much approve of their sin/repent/sin/repent view of the world. Why not just not sin? Rhetorical question.
c) I don't much approve of their cover up of child abuse by Priests
d) I don't believe in any religion. Each to their own if they want, but it ain't for me.
e) She is on maternity at the moment, so I will be stumping for this
... then I nearly just spat coffee all over my PH browser when faced with such a sum.
We are average earners, living a modest lifestyle that 40yo professionals do. I would have thought 50 quid would be about the going rate, which I would hand over reluctantly for a quiet life. Gift aid will bump that up a bit.
Am I being unreasonable? What is the current rate for donations?
No drama there though; one of the discussions we had before we got married was that it meant a lot to my wife, so the boy would be christened and probably go to our local Catholic primary school. I sucked it up, against my own views on secular schools, but somewhat stymied in that this is by far the best local state primary, so I am going along with it for the benefit of our son's education. I have taken the view that he can make his own decision as to whether it is all mumbo-jumbo sky pixie nonsense when he's older, or perhaps not - his choice as and when.
So, begrudgingly going along with it, Mrs PT has just announced that we need to make a donation to the church tomorrow, suggesting 200 quid!
Given that:
a) The Catholic church is one of the world's richest organisations
b) I don't much approve of their sin/repent/sin/repent view of the world. Why not just not sin? Rhetorical question.
c) I don't much approve of their cover up of child abuse by Priests
d) I don't believe in any religion. Each to their own if they want, but it ain't for me.
e) She is on maternity at the moment, so I will be stumping for this
... then I nearly just spat coffee all over my PH browser when faced with such a sum.
We are average earners, living a modest lifestyle that 40yo professionals do. I would have thought 50 quid would be about the going rate, which I would hand over reluctantly for a quiet life. Gift aid will bump that up a bit.
Am I being unreasonable? What is the current rate for donations?
I'm all for pooling money, but when one of you wants to do something the other is ideologically opposed to (Catholicism, Motorcycling, etc) then the challenge is:
"Love, you can give the world's largest paedophile ring as much money as you like, as long as you don't take it from our family. What you give, you have to first make. So, get into the loft, stick some of your old clothes on eBay, and if you make £10 or £10,000 you have my blessing to hand it all over to Father Paddy O'Fiddle, for his continuing efforts in the world of child abuse."
"Love, you can give the world's largest paedophile ring as much money as you like, as long as you don't take it from our family. What you give, you have to first make. So, get into the loft, stick some of your old clothes on eBay, and if you make £10 or £10,000 you have my blessing to hand it all over to Father Paddy O'Fiddle, for his continuing efforts in the world of child abuse."
Ki3r said:
Surely as its a donation you don't have to do it? Probably not the best person to ask being a atheist.
It's an 'expected donation'. This is what irks me, the cloak and daggger-ness of it. I would much prefer them to give a suggested amount, then we could just chuck that in.
"Pay what you can afford" they then say. Which is guilting people into paying more than they can afford, lest they be seen as not paying a fair whack. Grrr.
Sod that, if your wife wants to give £200 then she can give £200, I think its pretty unreasonable for her to expect you to foot that bill to be honest, then again I'm not married, maybe surrendering your wallet to your wife is something that goes on in marriage?
What are her deeply religious family donating?
What are her deeply religious family donating?
DannyScene said:
Sod that, if your wife wants to give £200 then she can give £200, I think its pretty unreasonable for her to expect you to foot that bill to be honest, then again I'm not married, maybe surrendering your wallet to your wife is something that goes on in marriage?
What are her deeply religious family donating?
An uncle who is a Monsignor, doing the job gratis! Rolling out the big guns, apparently. What are her deeply religious family donating?
He's getting a bottle of Scotch. I don't begrudge him that!
I'm with you fella but you don't make it clear as to whether you are actually paying for the Christening. Is the 'donation' on top of any payment for the priest to do the service in the first place? I am sure that your wife's family will be doling out much 'forgive me for I have sinned' money at the end of the service. Enough to total £200? Also, was it your wife who suggested £200 or the church?
Collectingbrass said:
Look on it for what it (probably) really is, a £200 payment to secure PurpleTurtle Jr's place in the local catholic primary school that you are aiming for. In those terms it is probably far more palatable?
Yeah but don't you have also to actually frequent the church to get the place. I am pretty sure that one visit for a christening wont complete the job and much genuflecting (about 4 - 5 years worth) will be required before Jnr bags that place for sure! 
PurpleTurtle said:
VERY agnostic.
Is that possible? Surely you either know or you don't. 
In answer to your question - I wouldn't give any money to the Catholic church if my life depended on it. I rather suspect no other organisation has caused more death and/or misery in the history of the human race.
Isn't it a "suggested donation" so they don't have to declare it as income and pay tax on it? Shifty t
ts.
BTW, I'm not sure that Cafflik school is the best one in the neighbourhood, mate. Certainly isn't if you mean the one named after a lady saint, although if it's named after a geezer saint then it's fine I'm sure, but I don't think it's the best. Although best means different things to different folks. Just don't get allocated the one named after my neighbourhood in the portakabins down the road from you. If I were you, I'd go for the nearest one, just behind the large broadcasting corporation up the frog and toad.
The wife and I had this debate - it's one of the few times I put my foot down in my marriage, although Mrs Sixer wanted to do it just to have a party. So we just had a party at home without the christening bit.
I appreciate it's different in your circs!
ts.BTW, I'm not sure that Cafflik school is the best one in the neighbourhood, mate. Certainly isn't if you mean the one named after a lady saint, although if it's named after a geezer saint then it's fine I'm sure, but I don't think it's the best. Although best means different things to different folks. Just don't get allocated the one named after my neighbourhood in the portakabins down the road from you. If I were you, I'd go for the nearest one, just behind the large broadcasting corporation up the frog and toad.
The wife and I had this debate - it's one of the few times I put my foot down in my marriage, although Mrs Sixer wanted to do it just to have a party. So we just had a party at home without the christening bit.
I appreciate it's different in your circs!
PurpleTurtle said:
<snip>
c) I don't much approve of their cover up of child abuse by Priests
So, you're happy for your son to be christened as a catholic, and to spend the formative years of his life being taught by Catholics who will (and I'll hazard a guess here) be promoting the catholic faith and all its various tenants and beliefs BUT you draw the line at giving them £200 because of the child abuse? c) I don't much approve of their cover up of child abuse by Priests
Possibly I'm missing something but if I had a strong aversion to religion/child abuse I'd focus on keeping my children away from the whole corrupt system rather than using that as an excuse to avoid paying £200.
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