I feel fake but im not
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I honestly don't know where to start. The Title says it all really
I was in the military and was injured on tour resulting in life changing injuries, after 8 operations I have various scars over my head and neck and across my shoulders where they have inserted titanium and prosthetics I cant smile and my left side of my face and head are numb this goes for my shoulders.
I went through a battle with DWP who would not award me anything as I was working after my discharge but this all changed with help from the Veterans Agency and now my pension etc are all on the correct Tariffs im level 5 at 75% Gip for people who know what that means.
This where it gets difficult for me and where I feel fake as with my pension I am awarded the same benefits as normal civilians people and this week the Veterans Agency have sent me a blue badge and its hit me big time, I have never let my injuries stop me doing anything yes some people look and point but that's life but ill make sure my daughter is proud of me rather than embarrassed . I play football every Saturday play golf and cycle as well and work Mon to Fri 8-5. But this is what is causing my slowly demise from the person I am. I feel that I will be looked upon for continuing my life and things I do and sports i enjoy even thou I get the above from the DWP.
My partner tells me not to worry and use the badge etc but the thought of using it makes me feel like im a fraud and a fake and its causing so much grief with family as resulted in just being just being a moody sod! It makes me feel worse now than i felt the first time i looked the mirror after 14 hours under the knife.
I've tried speaking to the doctors who just want to prescribe tablets and even thou my partner is great the fear is letting her down and my daughter! I know i cant keep it boxed up and i need to speak about it and have spoken to the RBL and SAFFA and other forces charity's
Has anybody ever felt like this in a way where nothing your doing is wrong but feels wrong everyday and all day? Or is this just a bad few weeks or days
I honestly don't know where to start. The Title says it all really
I was in the military and was injured on tour resulting in life changing injuries, after 8 operations I have various scars over my head and neck and across my shoulders where they have inserted titanium and prosthetics I cant smile and my left side of my face and head are numb this goes for my shoulders.
I went through a battle with DWP who would not award me anything as I was working after my discharge but this all changed with help from the Veterans Agency and now my pension etc are all on the correct Tariffs im level 5 at 75% Gip for people who know what that means.
This where it gets difficult for me and where I feel fake as with my pension I am awarded the same benefits as normal civilians people and this week the Veterans Agency have sent me a blue badge and its hit me big time, I have never let my injuries stop me doing anything yes some people look and point but that's life but ill make sure my daughter is proud of me rather than embarrassed . I play football every Saturday play golf and cycle as well and work Mon to Fri 8-5. But this is what is causing my slowly demise from the person I am. I feel that I will be looked upon for continuing my life and things I do and sports i enjoy even thou I get the above from the DWP.
My partner tells me not to worry and use the badge etc but the thought of using it makes me feel like im a fraud and a fake and its causing so much grief with family as resulted in just being just being a moody sod! It makes me feel worse now than i felt the first time i looked the mirror after 14 hours under the knife.
I've tried speaking to the doctors who just want to prescribe tablets and even thou my partner is great the fear is letting her down and my daughter! I know i cant keep it boxed up and i need to speak about it and have spoken to the RBL and SAFFA and other forces charity's
Has anybody ever felt like this in a way where nothing your doing is wrong but feels wrong everyday and all day? Or is this just a bad few weeks or days
Ex-ATO here.
You received life changing injuries whilst serving. You fully deserve any and all support pushed your way. The fact that you play sport and get on with life is not something to be embarrassed about, and in no way reduces the support you should receive.
Your injuries may have reduced your earning potential. You have certainly undergone pain and discomfort. A GIP, pension and a bigger, more convenient parking space is the f'ing least we as a country can do for chaps injured whilst serving. If you ever feel you don't deserve it, you're wrong. You have my admiration for cracking on, and I'm sure everyone worth listening to feels the same.
You received life changing injuries whilst serving. You fully deserve any and all support pushed your way. The fact that you play sport and get on with life is not something to be embarrassed about, and in no way reduces the support you should receive.
Your injuries may have reduced your earning potential. You have certainly undergone pain and discomfort. A GIP, pension and a bigger, more convenient parking space is the f'ing least we as a country can do for chaps injured whilst serving. If you ever feel you don't deserve it, you're wrong. You have my admiration for cracking on, and I'm sure everyone worth listening to feels the same.
blindspot said:
Ex-ATO here.
You received life changing injuries whilst serving. You fully deserve any and all support pushed your way. The fact that you play sport and get on with life is not something to be embarrassed about, and in no way reduces the support you should receive.
Your injuries may have reduced your earning potential. You have certainly undergone pain and discomfort. A GIP, pension and a bigger, more convenient parking space is the f'ing least we as a country can do for chaps injured whilst serving. If you ever feel you don't deserve it, you're wrong. You have my admiration for cracking on, and I'm sure everyone worth listening to feels the same.
It was your favourite friend that caused it in Iraq those pesky IED's You received life changing injuries whilst serving. You fully deserve any and all support pushed your way. The fact that you play sport and get on with life is not something to be embarrassed about, and in no way reduces the support you should receive.
Your injuries may have reduced your earning potential. You have certainly undergone pain and discomfort. A GIP, pension and a bigger, more convenient parking space is the f'ing least we as a country can do for chaps injured whilst serving. If you ever feel you don't deserve it, you're wrong. You have my admiration for cracking on, and I'm sure everyone worth listening to feels the same.
The support is there but not until you get the right people involved the DWP rejected my claim saying my injuries were not to there required standard. Once i spoke to the Veterans Agency this was changed in 4 weeks and my tariff adjusted as my injuries were more apparent after the operations due to the permanent damage caused to the facial nerve.
For me its more apparent when i look at everything financially and i could retire at 29 but im not letting it beat me and i want to prove to my self that no matter what happens you can overcome everything and still lead the life you want. But my own self conscience is stopping me do that as i am worried what other people think!
Charlie1986 said:
blindspot said:
Ex-ATO here.
You received life changing injuries whilst serving. You fully deserve any and all support pushed your way. The fact that you play sport and get on with life is not something to be embarrassed about, and in no way reduces the support you should receive.
Your injuries may have reduced your earning potential. You have certainly undergone pain and discomfort. A GIP, pension and a bigger, more convenient parking space is the f'ing least we as a country can do for chaps injured whilst serving. If you ever feel you don't deserve it, you're wrong. You have my admiration for cracking on, and I'm sure everyone worth listening to feels the same.
It was your favourite friend that caused it in Iraq those pesky IED's You received life changing injuries whilst serving. You fully deserve any and all support pushed your way. The fact that you play sport and get on with life is not something to be embarrassed about, and in no way reduces the support you should receive.
Your injuries may have reduced your earning potential. You have certainly undergone pain and discomfort. A GIP, pension and a bigger, more convenient parking space is the f'ing least we as a country can do for chaps injured whilst serving. If you ever feel you don't deserve it, you're wrong. You have my admiration for cracking on, and I'm sure everyone worth listening to feels the same.
The support is there but not until you get the right people involved the DWP rejected my claim saying my injuries were not to there required standard. Once i spoke to the Veterans Agency this was changed in 4 weeks and my tariff adjusted as my injuries were more apparent after the operations due to the permanent damage caused to the facial nerve.
For me its more apparent when i look at everything financially and i could retire at 29 but im not letting it beat me and i want to prove to my self that no matter what happens you can overcome everything and still lead the life you want. But my own self conscience is stopping me do that as i am worried what other people think!
however you have to remember what you have given this country and a) don't let it break up your family, b) don't forget how many scumbags in this country park in a bluebadge spot when they are fine.
this probably isn't the way i should be speaking to you, but you have to get your head round it fella and hold your head high and be proud. you did a job the great majority of us haven't and wouldn't to be honest. i'm too much of a coward to do what you did.
you are the definition of a hero not some over paid t
t kicking a ball (and i'm an avid football fan).i hope this helps and doesn't upset you. i thought long and hard about posting it.
The transition from soldier to civvy was always going to be difficult, without it being caused by a sudden traumatic event.
There's no-one out there that would begrudge the support you get. Anyone who knows what you've done will want you to have a good life. There are tonnes of people who want to help, perhaps talk to your Regimental Association, the VA or Felix Fund, RBL etc as there's a load of former servicemen who have been through the same as you, and gone on to great things.
I'm sure you will too, and I hope you can ditch the self-consciousness.
There's no-one out there that would begrudge the support you get. Anyone who knows what you've done will want you to have a good life. There are tonnes of people who want to help, perhaps talk to your Regimental Association, the VA or Felix Fund, RBL etc as there's a load of former servicemen who have been through the same as you, and gone on to great things.
I'm sure you will too, and I hope you can ditch the self-consciousness.
Ever seen a little old lady, sat in a messy cold house on the TV going "Oh I don't like to take from charities. Someone else might need it." And you are there thinking "But I give money to charity so you can have a better life! Garrgh take the help."?
Keep talking to the various organisations that offer help with the mind. On reading your post I thought of http://www.combatstress.org.uk/ . Who you may already be in touch with.
You have stood between me and those who would harm me.
In doing that you have gained a long term injury.
The blue badge is (to my mind), the least we can do.
My tax money being spent on you, is one of very few reasons I'm happy to pay tax.
I've no idea how to make you feel comfortable with that. As far as I'm concerned, it's your choice what you do with the badge and your pension. But I want you to have it, to allow you to make that choice.
Keep talking to the various organisations that offer help with the mind. On reading your post I thought of http://www.combatstress.org.uk/ . Who you may already be in touch with.
You have stood between me and those who would harm me.
In doing that you have gained a long term injury.
The blue badge is (to my mind), the least we can do.
My tax money being spent on you, is one of very few reasons I'm happy to pay tax.
I've no idea how to make you feel comfortable with that. As far as I'm concerned, it's your choice what you do with the badge and your pension. But I want you to have it, to allow you to make that choice.
Guys thanks
The charities that are there are life savers in many ways even the small things they have done has helped me and my family.
I whole heartily agree in what has been said and to all aspects I've never let it stop me and never will. Its more the thoughts that goes through your head its really hard to describe that stops you and makes you think and the after thoughts that come along. As a solider you never think about what can happen I just need to adapt and take on a similar stance of fk them ive got my injury but it doesn't stop me doing or being who I am.
on a lighter note Christmas should be easier for parking! And I m grateful for the kick up my back side I think im needing and I need to stop letting my self think about how others see me and just to see me as a person and a father.
The charities that are there are life savers in many ways even the small things they have done has helped me and my family.
I whole heartily agree in what has been said and to all aspects I've never let it stop me and never will. Its more the thoughts that goes through your head its really hard to describe that stops you and makes you think and the after thoughts that come along. As a solider you never think about what can happen I just need to adapt and take on a similar stance of f
k them ive got my injury but it doesn't stop me doing or being who I am. on a lighter note Christmas should be easier for parking! And I m grateful for the kick up my back side I think im needing and I need to stop letting my self think about how others see me and just to see me as a person and a father.
I don't have military experience and don't have qualified advice to give.
I just wanted to pop in and say exactly what the others have said.
I would like to buy you a pint and shake your hand for your efforts.
You deserve every bit of help that is on offer. Next time I pay a tax bill, I will think of this thread and envisage that it's being used for yourself, your family and those of your colleagues.
I admire you.
I just wanted to pop in and say exactly what the others have said.
I would like to buy you a pint and shake your hand for your efforts.
You deserve every bit of help that is on offer. Next time I pay a tax bill, I will think of this thread and envisage that it's being used for yourself, your family and those of your colleagues.
I admire you.
Charlie1986 - I'm still serving and I can't tell you how proud of 'us' I am when I see a bloke like you overcome adversity and take the same vigour and fun to your civilian life as you did to the military one.
No-on deserves help more than you do, and no right-thinking people begrudge it. Don't be embarrased about anything. Take what you've earned.
Grip this new life of yours by the balls and enjoy every second of it. As you certainly realise, the alternative was much worse!
No-on deserves help more than you do, and no right-thinking people begrudge it. Don't be embarrased about anything. Take what you've earned.
Grip this new life of yours by the balls and enjoy every second of it. As you certainly realise, the alternative was much worse!
V40TC said:
You deserve all the Entitlements of standing up and fighting for this country then suffering injuries.
if other people don't like it "who cares" they have no right to judge/comment.
thank you for all you have done and good luck with all of your future.
I'd like to echo the above, you deserve any help offered and I'm glad you are still able to enjoy sports.if other people don't like it "who cares" they have no right to judge/comment.
thank you for all you have done and good luck with all of your future.
And Thank you for your service and bravery.
I hate paying tax and really dislike the benefits system in this country.
However, for heroes serving this country I feel you deserve all the help you can get and more.
Be proud of being who you are - the decent British public salute you and I wish we could give more to people like you.
However, for heroes serving this country I feel you deserve all the help you can get and more.
Be proud of being who you are - the decent British public salute you and I wish we could give more to people like you.
Charlie, I can see why you're thinking the way you're thinking, but jeez, as others have pointed out, people like you are *exactly* what those support systems exist.
Vanishingly few people would be willing to go through what you have and you've earned everything you're now being given, I mean, come on - you nearly died, what the hell else do you need to do?!
Damn tootin' you deserve everything that's being given to you. Grab it all with both hands and make yours and your family's lives as good as can possibly be.
Fake my arse, you're more real than most people will ever be.
Vanishingly few people would be willing to go through what you have and you've earned everything you're now being given, I mean, come on - you nearly died, what the hell else do you need to do?!
Damn tootin' you deserve everything that's being given to you. Grab it all with both hands and make yours and your family's lives as good as can possibly be.
Fake my arse, you're more real than most people will ever be.
TheJimi said:
Charlie, I can see why you're thinking the way you're thinking, but jeez, as others have pointed out, people like you are *exactly* what those support systems exist.
Vanishingly few people would be willing to go through what you have and you've earned everything you're now being given, I mean, come on - you nearly died, what the hell else do you need to do?!
Damn tootin' you deserve everything that's being given to you. Grab it all with both hands and make yours and your family's lives as good as can possibly be.
Fake my arse, you're more real than most people will ever be.
I did die twice whilst on route back to UK. First time through trauma 2nd my airway collapsed so had to get a Trache at 34,000ft Vanishingly few people would be willing to go through what you have and you've earned everything you're now being given, I mean, come on - you nearly died, what the hell else do you need to do?!
Damn tootin' you deserve everything that's being given to you. Grab it all with both hands and make yours and your family's lives as good as can possibly be.
Fake my arse, you're more real than most people will ever be.
But really its help to make me realise that i should be taking everything that is being given to me. And not let my self down as i know I'm very lucky to be here and where i am now, least i down have any regrets just a few scars.
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