Is an affair a bad idea?
Discussion
OK, just been out on the beer with a bunch of friends and inhibitions are low. Bad place to start posting on the internet.
Hypothetically speaking, married man of 15 years or so, 2 kids love dearly, nice house, half decent business.
Wife works bonkers hours in NHS, earns loads, but I never see her, when I do, she talks about work - very boring. Life is dull, never go out, she goes to bed early. Sex is a bit predictable and infrequent.
Met woman, very pretty, been texting and chatting. Been for a walk in the hills.
All fine and innocent so far, but might not be so in the future. So so tempted...fancy her someway north of 10 - pretty sure she feels the same.
How is this going to end?????
Hypothetically speaking, married man of 15 years or so, 2 kids love dearly, nice house, half decent business.
Wife works bonkers hours in NHS, earns loads, but I never see her, when I do, she talks about work - very boring. Life is dull, never go out, she goes to bed early. Sex is a bit predictable and infrequent.
Met woman, very pretty, been texting and chatting. Been for a walk in the hills.
All fine and innocent so far, but might not be so in the future. So so tempted...fancy her someway north of 10 - pretty sure she feels the same.
How is this going to end?????
bearman68 said:
OK, just been out on the beer with a bunch of friends and inhibitions are low. Bad place to start posting on the internet.
Hypothetically speaking, married man of 15 years or so, 2 kids love dearly, nice house, half decent business.
Wife works bonkers hours in NHS, earns loads, but I never see her, when I do, she talks about work - very boring. Life is dull, never go out, she goes to bed early. Sex is a bit predictable and infrequent.
Met woman, very pretty, been texting and chatting. Been for a walk in the hills.
All fine and innocent so far, but might not be so in the future. So so tempted...fancy her someway north of 10 - pretty sure she feels the same.
How is this going to end?????
Think about your kids. Is some fanny worth ruining it all for? Hypothetically speaking, married man of 15 years or so, 2 kids love dearly, nice house, half decent business.
Wife works bonkers hours in NHS, earns loads, but I never see her, when I do, she talks about work - very boring. Life is dull, never go out, she goes to bed early. Sex is a bit predictable and infrequent.
Met woman, very pretty, been texting and chatting. Been for a walk in the hills.
All fine and innocent so far, but might not be so in the future. So so tempted...fancy her someway north of 10 - pretty sure she feels the same.
How is this going to end?????
Seeing the sheer hurt and anger and watching my kids hearts break would destroy me. It just ain't f
king worth it... Be honest and separate first
You can buy another house, can start another business, can meet a new wife. You can't afford to lose your kids and you will lose your kids, at best their respect at worse you may not see them again. Seems a silly risk. Sort stuff out with your wife properly, move on in the right way, the discussion might even repair things where you thought it wasn't possible. Done right you could all move on in a positive way, done wrong you could harm beyond repair 3 people who matter most.
You already have an emotional attachment to this new woman. Why not tell your wife all about it and see how it goes?
Jesus, spend your energies revitalising your marriage instead of being a complete douche. Chances are your wife probably feels just as bored but for some reason still sticks with you. Having an affair is such a ttish thing to do.
Jesus, spend your energies revitalising your marriage instead of being a complete douche. Chances are your wife probably feels just as bored but for some reason still sticks with you. Having an affair is such a t
tish thing to do.So your wife works her ring off to provide (with you) for the family and you think throwing one up a woman showing you some attention is a great thing to do?
Imagine if it were the other way round and you're smashing the hours at work to be a good provider and your bored wife went off and have an affair.
Drop it right now, start speaking to your wife about how you feel and make some changes either way.
Theres a Japanese word (I forget it) for making a decision after you've dropped your load - means you're not thinking with a horny mind. Google it.
Imagine if it were the other way round and you're smashing the hours at work to be a good provider and your bored wife went off and have an affair.
Drop it right now, start speaking to your wife about how you feel and make some changes either way.
Theres a Japanese word (I forget it) for making a decision after you've dropped your load - means you're not thinking with a horny mind. Google it.
bearman68 said:
All fine and innocent so far,
You are completely and utterly wrong on this point. There is nothing innocent about texting, chatting and meeting up with a woman you know you fancy, especially if you think she fancies you in return. You should be grown up enough to make sure you never put yourself in a position like this. You have already betrayed your wife immensely, you should cut all ties with the woman you fancy and explain it all to your wife and hope that she will be willing to talk about it with you. It may even help the situation you are in and make you appreciate each other more. But once you do the dirty it will have gone too far, you will lose your wife, your kids, your house and half your business/future earnings.Is it really worth it for a bit of sex that you can guarantee will not end up in a 'happily ever after' scenario?
Do you respect your kids, care about their happiness, care about breaking their hearts? Do you think you could sleep at night knowing they hate you?
You've clearly been putting quite a bit of effort into this new woman, and all is not lost yet (though it could soon be), what I suggest is redirecting your effort into sorting things between you and your wife. You clearly fell in love with your wife for a reason, rekindle those feelings and bring a bit of excitement back into the relationship.
What confuses me is, you're posting on a car forum full of strangers essentially, asking sensitive questions and disclosing sensitive details - WHY AREN'T YOU ASKING YOUR WIFE THESE QUESTIONS AND TELLING HER THESE THINGS?! It's easy to point the finger at her but have a look at what you're doing wrong!
Don't do it, your life will crumble, all that you have worked to achieve, the people who should mean the most to you, will be gone. Redirect your energy and get things spinning again with your wife! It's not hard! She will probably be more than willing as well!
Get it sorted.
You've clearly been putting quite a bit of effort into this new woman, and all is not lost yet (though it could soon be), what I suggest is redirecting your effort into sorting things between you and your wife. You clearly fell in love with your wife for a reason, rekindle those feelings and bring a bit of excitement back into the relationship.
What confuses me is, you're posting on a car forum full of strangers essentially, asking sensitive questions and disclosing sensitive details - WHY AREN'T YOU ASKING YOUR WIFE THESE QUESTIONS AND TELLING HER THESE THINGS?! It's easy to point the finger at her but have a look at what you're doing wrong!
Don't do it, your life will crumble, all that you have worked to achieve, the people who should mean the most to you, will be gone. Redirect your energy and get things spinning again with your wife! It's not hard! She will probably be more than willing as well!
Get it sorted.
If you think life is boring now, imagine how boring it will be sitting in your £90/week bed-sit whilst your - by then - ex wife is getting shagged senseless by her new husband in the house you're knocking your pan out to pay for, dreaming of the week-end after next when you can take your kids to pizza express for lunch and listen to them talking about how great their new Dad is.
Get a grip. Everyone will lose in this, but no one more than you.
Get a grip. Everyone will lose in this, but no one more than you.
ClaphamGT3 said:
If you think life is boring now, imagine how boring it will be sitting in your £90/week bed-sit whilst your - by then - ex wife is getting shagged senseless by her new husband in the house you're knocking your pan out to pay for, dreaming of the week-end after next when you can take your kids to pizza express for lunch and listen to them talking about how great their new Dad is.
Get a grip. Everyone will lose in this, but no one more than you.
You forgot to mention that the woman he was shagging has also gone back to her husband.Get a grip. Everyone will lose in this, but no one more than you.
Otherwise, pretty much spot on.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff