How many 40 plus PHers with no kids?
Discussion
I’m turning 40 in under a month and have no kids, been with the wife now for 18 years and the first 10 years we weren’t ready then she started her own business (hairdresser) which meant going all out and her not being able to take time off etc. leading us to where we now are. I’d like kids, partly from a paternal aspect and partly from a we’re going to be very alone when we’re older aspect as well – however selfish that may sound. But she is now adamant she’s too old, she’d be wouldn’t want to be the oldest mum at the school gate, we have no family support network at home, complications as she’s 39 and too old physically, can’t/won’t take a break from work.
My problem to deal with. However, I was wandering how many on here of 40 plus, in a relationship don’t have kids?
Is it something you regret? Any couples on here had kids later than this?
Just after other peoples experiences really rather than advice for me.
My problem to deal with. However, I was wandering how many on here of 40 plus, in a relationship don’t have kids?
Is it something you regret? Any couples on here had kids later than this?
Just after other peoples experiences really rather than advice for me.
She's not too old at 39 based solely on her age, although her individual circumstance may alter that of course and these days she won't be the oldest at the school gates either.
As for having kids so you're not alone when older, well my girl is almost 22 and lives in London. I would hate to think she felt compelled to attend to me as I broach the age of Grumpy. She will have/already has her own life to live. The occasional visit or email, sure. But nothing further.
Get humping.
As for having kids so you're not alone when older, well my girl is almost 22 and lives in London. I would hate to think she felt compelled to attend to me as I broach the age of Grumpy. She will have/already has her own life to live. The occasional visit or email, sure. But nothing further.
Get humping.
Not 40 plus. (Fortunately 
). However I know a number of couples who are 40 plus no kids but do have dogs. Something to consider instead 
? All very content with life choices.
Keeping this throughly lounge worthy.
If you really want a kid then you need to trade in your old beater for a new one.
). However I know a number of couples who are 40 plus no kids but do have dogs. Something to consider instead ? All very content with life choices. Keeping this throughly lounge worthy.
If you really want a kid then you need to trade in your old beater for a new one.
I was giving this some thought last night (I have just turned 30, so time is running out)
I have no kids and i'm not sure I want them, but I do feel like I am missing out on something really special that my friends have.
Then I think: "What about when I'm 60, my parents will probably be gone, my nephew and niece will be adults and wont want to know, my brother and I have never been close, what then?
Should I bite the bullet and have them even though i'm not 100% sure, just for fear of missing out? I just don't know.
I have no kids and i'm not sure I want them, but I do feel like I am missing out on something really special that my friends have.
Then I think: "What about when I'm 60, my parents will probably be gone, my nephew and niece will be adults and wont want to know, my brother and I have never been close, what then?
Should I bite the bullet and have them even though i'm not 100% sure, just for fear of missing out? I just don't know.
You have been with the wife for 18 years and she's now claiming she's too old for kids. Without knowing your full circumstances, I would hazard a guess that she doesn't want kids and is using her age as an excuse.
Again, plenty give birth circa 40 years of age. Obviously there's higher risks but it can be done.
Again, plenty give birth circa 40 years of age. Obviously there's higher risks but it can be done.
jshell said:
You're not too late. I had my 1st kid at 44, my wife was 34. 5 years on we're toying with having another...
It's tiring, mind!
^This.It's tiring, mind!
I happily went through my twenties generally enjoying the benefits of being young with no ties. Then I met a nice lady, 3 months later she found she had fallen pregnant (I can hear the PH gasps as I type this...), it was a pleasant surprise and 14 years later we have a fantastic daughter and are still happily together. I'm not sure I'd have ever made a conscious decision to get married and have kids, it was always something I'd do 'later in life'. Not a single regret about it although I have nothing against anyone who doesn't have kids or doesn't want kids, I can certainly see the benefits that brings, financially and responsibilities etc.
Going back to the previous post, nothing can prepare you for the tiredness and the constant nights of broken sleep. I was in my early 30's so it didn't seem to bad but a colleague here at work has just become a father and he is in his early fifties, there's no doubt the broken sleeps are tougher going the older you get.
I'm 40 and my missus is 41. We have been together for 9 years… neither of us has ever wanted kids. In fact, she is probably the least maternal woman I have ever met - her reaction to a new-born baby is not "ohhhh cute!" as you'd expect, but rather "eeuurrgh, get that thing away from me!"
As pointed out in a previous post: having kids needs to have both sides in agreement - if you want a kid and your wife doesn't then that is something you'll have to accept.
Does she really want children, or is the "I'm too old" routine merely an excuse to let you down gently?
As pointed out in a previous post: having kids needs to have both sides in agreement - if you want a kid and your wife doesn't then that is something you'll have to accept.
Does she really want children, or is the "I'm too old" routine merely an excuse to let you down gently?
Im 42 and in a long term relationship. No kids and none planned. I dont like the way parenthood seems to change people. So many seem to lose their personalities, becoming robots that have no interest in anything outside their offspring or those of others. Basically they become bores. Being on a normal salary, Id have to move out of London and would lose a lot of friends as well as holidays, cars etc. It just doesn't seem worth it to me. There are enough babies being born on this planet without me adding to the problem. Fair play to those who go for it though.
I am however desperate for a labrador.
I am however desperate for a labrador.
Zippee said:
But she is now adamant she’s too old, she’d be wouldn’t want to be the oldest mum at the school gate, we have no family support network at home, complications as she’s 39 and too old physically, can’t/won’t take a break from work.
Well, she does sound very old. 
I'm 43 and look forward to having kids one day. I play a lot of sports with people half my age and have no problems keeping up with them.
axgizmo said:
I was giving this some thought last night (I have just turned 30, so time is running out)
I have no kids and i'm not sure I want them, but I do feel like I am missing out on something really special that my friends have.
Then I think: "What about when I'm 60, my parents will probably be gone, my nephew and niece will be adults and wont want to know, my brother and I have never been close, what then?
Should I bite the bullet and have them even though i'm not 100% sure, just for fear of missing out? I just don't know.
Not sure that's a great reason for having kids. I suppose you can always return them if you decide it's not for you.I have no kids and i'm not sure I want them, but I do feel like I am missing out on something really special that my friends have.
Then I think: "What about when I'm 60, my parents will probably be gone, my nephew and niece will be adults and wont want to know, my brother and I have never been close, what then?
Should I bite the bullet and have them even though i'm not 100% sure, just for fear of missing out? I just don't know.
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