Help with an editorial.
Discussion
I hope this doesn't break 'advertising' rules, but my company is about to start advertising with a new local newspaper, and I've been struggling to complete an 'editorial' that they've asked me to pen about the business.
Has anyone with a sales, marketing or journalism career etc got any thoughts about the following, as a circa 250 word piece to go to print?
It is due to go in a 100,000 copies sold publication, so I'd prefer not to look goofy if it's cr4p!!
Leather Better Limited were formed in 2011 to fill a much needed gap in the market, namely leather restoration. Company proprietor Robby Tyler had his lightbulb moment when trying to find someone to repair his kitten scratched leather sofa, to no avail.
Quality leather furniture will always come at a price, so if your leather furniture or vehicle leather is tired why not renew it back to as good as new for a fraction of the cost of replacement?
Leather Better Ltd can restore many types of worn, tired or damaged leather, ranging from faded or stained leather, to animal scratched or scuffed leather. Colour matching is guaranteed to be perfect every time, and they can cater for any type or style of leather.
They are happy to provide quotes and friendly advice free of charge, and ask for no payment until work is complete.
All of their work is also guaranteed for durability, and all work is undertaken at your address, to avoid the inconvenience of being without your furniture.
Over the years Leather Better have worked on many Supercars and concourse vehicles, yachts and high end suites, as their work is trusted. Indeed there are Marinas, prestige car dealers and furniture stores who approach them for repairs time and time again.
But why just take our word for it; take a look at their website which shows many examples of their work, along with glowing testimonials from many a proud customer.
Leather Better look forward to speaking with you, and can be contacted at any time by phone or email to advise how they can help get your leather back to being something to be proud of.
Has anyone with a sales, marketing or journalism career etc got any thoughts about the following, as a circa 250 word piece to go to print?
It is due to go in a 100,000 copies sold publication, so I'd prefer not to look goofy if it's cr4p!!
Leather Better Limited were formed in 2011 to fill a much needed gap in the market, namely leather restoration. Company proprietor Robby Tyler had his lightbulb moment when trying to find someone to repair his kitten scratched leather sofa, to no avail.
Quality leather furniture will always come at a price, so if your leather furniture or vehicle leather is tired why not renew it back to as good as new for a fraction of the cost of replacement?
Leather Better Ltd can restore many types of worn, tired or damaged leather, ranging from faded or stained leather, to animal scratched or scuffed leather. Colour matching is guaranteed to be perfect every time, and they can cater for any type or style of leather.
They are happy to provide quotes and friendly advice free of charge, and ask for no payment until work is complete.
All of their work is also guaranteed for durability, and all work is undertaken at your address, to avoid the inconvenience of being without your furniture.
Over the years Leather Better have worked on many Supercars and concourse vehicles, yachts and high end suites, as their work is trusted. Indeed there are Marinas, prestige car dealers and furniture stores who approach them for repairs time and time again.
But why just take our word for it; take a look at their website which shows many examples of their work, along with glowing testimonials from many a proud customer.
Leather Better look forward to speaking with you, and can be contacted at any time by phone or email to advise how they can help get your leather back to being something to be proud of.
After the 2nd sentence, I'm left asking "what did he do? what was so great about whatever it was?"
I'd like those question answered before the sales pitch starts. Without knowing those answers, I've no reason to contact you instead of any other company offering a similar sounding service.
I'd like those question answered before the sales pitch starts. Without knowing those answers, I've no reason to contact you instead of any other company offering a similar sounding service.
marshalla said:
After the 2nd sentence, I'm left asking "what did he do? what was so great about whatever it was?"
I'd like those question answered before the sales pitch starts. Without knowing those answers, I've no reason to contact you instead of any other company offering a similar sounding service.
Ah OK. Would a little restructuring of existing content, maybe raising a sentence explaining what we do to near the top, overcome that problem? Just what I need, I'm reading as someone who knows my company inside out, the views of those who don't is more important. I'd like those question answered before the sales pitch starts. Without knowing those answers, I've no reason to contact you instead of any other company offering a similar sounding service.
Fermit The Krog said:
I hope this doesn't break 'advertising' rules, but my company is about to start advertising with a new local newspaper, and I've been struggling to complete an 'editorial' that they've asked me to pen about the business.
Has anyone with a sales, marketing or journalism career etc got any thoughts about the following, as a circa 250 word piece to go to print?
It is due to go in a 100,000 copies sold publication, so I'd prefer not to look goofy if it's cr4p!!
I spend too long correcting my own emails. Has anyone with a sales, marketing or journalism career etc got any thoughts about the following, as a circa 250 word piece to go to print?
It is due to go in a 100,000 copies sold publication, so I'd prefer not to look goofy if it's cr4p!!
See what you think of the below.Leather Better Ltd was formed in 2011 - when founder Robby Tyler spotted a gap in the market for a leather restoration firm after struggling to find someone to repair his kitten-scratched leather sofa!
Quality leather furniture will always come at a price, so if your leather furniture or vehicle leather is tired why not return it to "as new" condition for a fraction of the cost of replacement?
Leather Better Ltd can restore many types of worn, tired or damaged leather, including fading, stains, animal scratches and scuffs. We guarantee perfect Colour matching every time, and we can cater for any type or style of leather.
We are happy to provide quotes and friendly advice free of charge, and ask for no payment until work is complete and approved. All of our work is guaranteed for durability, and all work is carried at your address to avoid the inconvenience of being without your furniture.
As well as repairs to your three piece suite or dining room set, Leather Better has worked on many supercars, 'concours d'elegance' vehicles, and yachts. Marinas, prestige car dealers and furniture stores are among our repeat customers, who value our quality and service.
But why just take our word for it? take a look at some examples of our work on our website, along with testimonials from many of our customers. Leather Better look forward to speaking with you, and can be contacted at any time by phone or email to advise how they can help you to be proud of your leather again.
Edited by davepoth on Wednesday 17th February 23:06
Another quick take on it.
Leather Better Limited.
When Robby Tyler's kitten scratched his leather sofa, finding someone to repair it proved harder than he'd imagined. It was, however, the start of a journey which led to the formation of Mr Tyler's company, Leather Better Limited in 2011.
Quality leather furniture always comes at a price but now tired looking leather can be restored to a fresh new look at a fraction of the cost of a replacement. Their experts guarantee to perfectly colour match your leather and work with many styles and types.
Tired, damaged, faded, stained, scuffs or animal scratches. Our staff come to your address and provide free quotes alongside friendly advice. Pay once the work has been completed and you're happy.
Leather Better Limited guarantee all work for durability and have restored leather in homes, yachts, high end suites, concourse vehicles and supercars. They undertake work for car dealers, furniture stores and of course customers in their own homes.
The Leather Better website has photos of work examples and testimonials from many satisfied customers.
Why not contact Leather Better by phone or email and they'd be delighted to speak to you about getting your leather looking the way you like it.
Leather Better Limited.
When Robby Tyler's kitten scratched his leather sofa, finding someone to repair it proved harder than he'd imagined. It was, however, the start of a journey which led to the formation of Mr Tyler's company, Leather Better Limited in 2011.
Quality leather furniture always comes at a price but now tired looking leather can be restored to a fresh new look at a fraction of the cost of a replacement. Their experts guarantee to perfectly colour match your leather and work with many styles and types.
Tired, damaged, faded, stained, scuffs or animal scratches. Our staff come to your address and provide free quotes alongside friendly advice. Pay once the work has been completed and you're happy.
Leather Better Limited guarantee all work for durability and have restored leather in homes, yachts, high end suites, concourse vehicles and supercars. They undertake work for car dealers, furniture stores and of course customers in their own homes.
The Leather Better website has photos of work examples and testimonials from many satisfied customers.
Why not contact Leather Better by phone or email and they'd be delighted to speak to you about getting your leather looking the way you like it.
Edited by 22 on Wednesday 17th February 23:47
An edetorial would be a story / spotlight on our company, an advertorial is the same but you write it... The content above is a very clear advert... It will switch off many readers... Ditch the obvious selling bits and just write about what you do / how you maintain quality / history / future plans etc... The reader will still know they can also contact you for ork...
As said it reads as advertorial or an advert, not editorial.
A Company is singular so it was formed not were formed.
Viewing it as a disinterested reader who's only going to spend 2 seconds deciding whether to read it or not, it's far too chatty. If it's an advert, bullet points (and photos if poss) will do the job much better and faster. If it's an editorial, you need to write a story. The history of leather cleaning etc, or maybe a case study. But it has to be interesting, not an advert.
A Company is singular so it was formed not were formed.
Viewing it as a disinterested reader who's only going to spend 2 seconds deciding whether to read it or not, it's far too chatty. If it's an advert, bullet points (and photos if poss) will do the job much better and faster. If it's an editorial, you need to write a story. The history of leather cleaning etc, or maybe a case study. But it has to be interesting, not an advert.
I'd swap the first and second sentences of the original over. No one will really care how your company got formed, all they want to know is what you can do for them. I've also included the word 'or damaged' as your kitten (if you insist in using that story) didn't make your furniture 'tired' he 'damaged' it. So you must be able to fix damage and are limiting your market a little by not including it.
So you get: "Quality leather furniture will always come at a price, so if your leather furniture or vehicle leather is tired or damaged why not return it to "as new" condition for a fraction of the cost of replacement?
Leather Better Ltd was formed in 2011 - when founder Robby Tyler spotted a gap in the market for a leather restoration firm after struggling to find someone to repair his kitten-scratched leather sofa."
So you get: "Quality leather furniture will always come at a price, so if your leather furniture or vehicle leather is tired or damaged why not return it to "as new" condition for a fraction of the cost of replacement?
Leather Better Ltd was formed in 2011 - when founder Robby Tyler spotted a gap in the market for a leather restoration firm after struggling to find someone to repair his kitten-scratched leather sofa."
Spumfry said:
When do you need this by, Fermit? There are a few obvious things which could be fixed by some swift proof-reading, and some other changes to the content which you could consider - what's your deadline?
Going to print at the beginning of March, so a good ten days to tweak as needs be. Edited by Spumfry on Wednesday 17th February 23:02
22 said:
Another quick take on it.
Leather Better Limited.
When Robby Tyler's kitten scratched his leather sofa, finding someone to put it down free of charge proved harder than he'd imagined. It was, however, the start of a journey which led to the formation of Mr Tyler's company, Leather Better Limited in 2011.
Quality leather furniture always comes at a price but now tired looking leather can be restored to a fresh new look at a fraction of the cost of a replacement. Their experts guarantee to perfectly colour match your leather and work with many styles and types.
Tired, damaged, faded, stained, scuffs or animal scratches. Our staff come to your address and provide free quotes alongside friendly advice. Pay once the work has been completed and you're happy.
Leather Better Limited guarantee all work for durability and have restored leather in homes, yachts, high end suites, concourse vehicles and supercars. They undertake work for car dealers, furniture stores and of course customers in their own homes.
The Leather Better website has photos of work examples and testimonials from many satisfied customers.
Why not contact Leather Better by phone or email and they'd be delighted to speak to you about getting your leather looking the way you like it.
Made a small change, reads well now.Leather Better Limited.
When Robby Tyler's kitten scratched his leather sofa, finding someone to put it down free of charge proved harder than he'd imagined. It was, however, the start of a journey which led to the formation of Mr Tyler's company, Leather Better Limited in 2011.
Quality leather furniture always comes at a price but now tired looking leather can be restored to a fresh new look at a fraction of the cost of a replacement. Their experts guarantee to perfectly colour match your leather and work with many styles and types.
Tired, damaged, faded, stained, scuffs or animal scratches. Our staff come to your address and provide free quotes alongside friendly advice. Pay once the work has been completed and you're happy.
Leather Better Limited guarantee all work for durability and have restored leather in homes, yachts, high end suites, concourse vehicles and supercars. They undertake work for car dealers, furniture stores and of course customers in their own homes.
The Leather Better website has photos of work examples and testimonials from many satisfied customers.
Why not contact Leather Better by phone or email and they'd be delighted to speak to you about getting your leather looking the way you like it.
Edited by 22 on Wednesday 17th February 23:47
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