Discussion
Can I have some experiences of loved ones you have encountered with Alzheimer's please?
Mother Solo2 is in the early stages, she knows she has it and she is fully aware that her memory is failing her. We've banned her from driving although the Doctors surprisingly have not mentioned to her or Father Solo2 that she shouldn't but having said that she's lost the confidence in even leaving the house so it's not an issue.
What should we expect in the coming years, Google just doesn't seem to really tell me much other than medical stuff? It's so upsetting seeing my once confident and strong mother a shell of her former self
Mother Solo2 is in the early stages, she knows she has it and she is fully aware that her memory is failing her. We've banned her from driving although the Doctors surprisingly have not mentioned to her or Father Solo2 that she shouldn't but having said that she's lost the confidence in even leaving the house so it's not an issue.
What should we expect in the coming years, Google just doesn't seem to really tell me much other than medical stuff? It's so upsetting seeing my once confident and strong mother a shell of her former self
solo2 said:
Can I have some experiences of loved ones you have encountered with Alzheimer's please?
Mother Solo2 is in the early stages, she knows she has it and she is fully aware that her memory is failing her. We've banned her from driving although the Doctors surprisingly have not mentioned to her or Father Solo2 that she shouldn't but having said that she's lost the confidence in even leaving the house so it's not an issue.
What should we expect in the coming years, Google just doesn't seem to really tell me much other than medical stuff? It's so upsetting seeing my once confident and strong mother a shell of her former self
From a practicality point of view get power of attorney stuff done now while she still has insight and capacity, try and have the medical treatment / resus status discussion so you have an idea of their thoughts - Mother Solo2 is in the early stages, she knows she has it and she is fully aware that her memory is failing her. We've banned her from driving although the Doctors surprisingly have not mentioned to her or Father Solo2 that she shouldn't but having said that she's lost the confidence in even leaving the house so it's not an issue.
What should we expect in the coming years, Google just doesn't seem to really tell me much other than medical stuff? It's so upsetting seeing my once confident and strong mother a shell of her former self
The progression of dementias is unpredictable ...
you need to prepare yourself for the long haul and the very real possibility of needing 24 hour care - the behavioural factors associated with dementia in some cases means that while the personal care burden may be low sleep distrubance and lack of insight into risk means that the supervision requirements can be very punishing for those trying to cope alone / at home ...
Edited by mph1977 on Saturday 20th February 00:38
Edited by mph1977 on Saturday 20th February 00:39
As already stated, be prepared to comfort them as much as possible. The worst stage for me was the point where confusion set in. I was out many evenings looking for my grandfather when he'd ran away from home in a horribly confused state. He'd often think he was going home to his mums house although she'd passed away 50+ years earlier. As the confusion well and truly sets in, there seems to be a regression to an almost child like personality which is emotionally challenging for all involved.
We have found that past pictures have been a particular comfort when the memory fails. There were good days and bad days in terms of memory capacity. Extremely difficult to cope with when they don't know who you are. Take any assistance offered to you in terms of support and care, that's the advice I would give to anyone. You've already taken care of PoA which is great.
We have found that past pictures have been a particular comfort when the memory fails. There were good days and bad days in terms of memory capacity. Extremely difficult to cope with when they don't know who you are. Take any assistance offered to you in terms of support and care, that's the advice I would give to anyone. You've already taken care of PoA which is great.
DuncB7 said:
As already stated, be prepared to comfort them as much as possible. The worst stage for me was the point where confusion set in. I was out many evenings looking for my grandfather when he'd ran away from home in a horribly confused state. He'd often think he was going home to his mums house although she'd passed away 50+ years earlier. As the confusion well and truly sets in, there seems to be a regression to an almost child like personality which is emotionally challenging for all involved.
We have found that past pictures have been a particular comfort when the memory fails. There were good days and bad days in terms of memory capacity. Extremely difficult to cope with when they don't know who you are. Take any assistance offered to you in terms of support and care, that's the advice I would give to anyone. You've already taken care of PoA which is great.
all good advice We have found that past pictures have been a particular comfort when the memory fails. There were good days and bad days in terms of memory capacity. Extremely difficult to cope with when they don't know who you are. Take any assistance offered to you in terms of support and care, that's the advice I would give to anyone. You've already taken care of PoA which is great.
in terms of memory, forming new memories / loearning is what goes first ajnd then often it seems the memory unravels backwards ...
My grandma couldn't see very well, her hearing had all but failed and so had her mind. She seemed to live in a state of high confusion. She'd convince herself of all kinds of things that she just made up. it took a little while for it to sink in with the rest of the family that she was just making things up before everyone stopped worrying about it.
She spent the last 10 years of her life miles away, but in surprisingly good physical health.
She spent the last 10 years of her life miles away, but in surprisingly good physical health.
It may be worth looking at Alzheimer's society https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/
timster said:
My mother has it, vascular dementia so it's pretty fast acting. In three years she's gone from independent to unable to turn the TV over. Stay strong for her and be prepared for tears, comfort and hug her and tell her you love her
My Grandma had vascular dementia. Am not sure of the timescale as my Granddad for quite a while tried to hide it from the rest of the family, but she progressed from her normal self to forgetfulness, mood swings, violent outbursts with gradual regression towards acting as if she was a child again. In fact she would ask relatives how her own parents were, even though they died before I was born. Gradually she wouldn't recognise her own children to eventually thinking Granddad was a complete stranger. She would even try and escape from their house. Eventually Granddad couldn't cope with her so had to get her into a nursing home.It took about 8 years from initial diagnosis for her to eventually fade away. In the end she gave up eating and I guess the will to live. Watching someone's mental health slowly deteriorate isn't good, It gets to the point where they are no longer themselves and you kind of start wishing they would pass on to end their misery. I have every sympathy for someone going through this with a loved one, I have no idea how my Granddad coped, but he would often break down in tears on the phone to my Mum. About a year after Grandma passed away my Granddad did too. Even though they both had angina, he didn't develop dementia, but then he had a very active mind which i believe does help.
Take each day as it comes, but be prepared as what medication is available at the moment only slows the progression of the disease down, it cant be reversed.
I have every sympathy for your situation Solo2. We lost my Dad to dementia just last month around five years after his diagnosis and I guess around six years from when we began to suspect there were some issues. Good that you have PoA sorted out already, but, however difficult it may be, do discuss end of life care with your mum if you can. If you don't discuss it now, it will fall to family members to decide when the time comes. Fortunately for us, we were all in agreement and comfortable that we did what he would have wanted.
The Alzheimer's Society on the link provided by Shaw Tarse is a useful source of information and you should be able to engage with your local NHS and council care services to get the treatment and care your mum needs.
It's a very, very difficult condition to deal with. When we (my two sisters and I) realised how bad his condition had become, just after my mum passed away in 2011, we found it very hard to deal with spells when he didn't know who we were and wouldn't accept that mum had died.
We tried to have him stay in his house with daily visits from a carer and Meals on Wheels but it became apparent quite quickly that what was best for him was a care home.
Having seen (and got to know) some of the other residents in the care home, one thing I can say is that everybody's journey through dementia is different. There are some residents in the home that were there when my dad first went in and appear to pretty much the same as they were when we first met them.
Again, you have my sympathy.
The Alzheimer's Society on the link provided by Shaw Tarse is a useful source of information and you should be able to engage with your local NHS and council care services to get the treatment and care your mum needs.
It's a very, very difficult condition to deal with. When we (my two sisters and I) realised how bad his condition had become, just after my mum passed away in 2011, we found it very hard to deal with spells when he didn't know who we were and wouldn't accept that mum had died.
We tried to have him stay in his house with daily visits from a carer and Meals on Wheels but it became apparent quite quickly that what was best for him was a care home.
Having seen (and got to know) some of the other residents in the care home, one thing I can say is that everybody's journey through dementia is different. There are some residents in the home that were there when my dad first went in and appear to pretty much the same as they were when we first met them.
Again, you have my sympathy.
Willy Nilly said:
My grandma couldn't see very well, her hearing had all but failed and so had her mind. She seemed to live in a state of high confusion. She'd convince herself of all kinds of things that she just made up. it took a little while for it to sink in with the rest of the family that she was just making things up before everyone stopped worrying about it.
She spent the last 10 years of her life miles away, but in surprisingly good physical health.
So far we've not quite progressed to that stage but she is getting confused with some things and reading the wrong thing between the lines.She spent the last 10 years of her life miles away, but in surprisingly good physical health.
Just a few weeks back Father Solo2 had to restrain her from going around to someone's house who she thought had been bad mouthing her behind her back. I know this person and she wouldn't do that. It would have been terribly awkward for the whole family had she succeeded as this lady is friends with myself and my parents as well as hers and my children being in the same class at school. We don't even understand why she thought what she did.
I've been in a state of denial for a while thinking the diagnosis was wrong but I have to face facts now that is isn't.
Thank you everyone for your comments.
EagleMoto4-2 said:
Watching someone's mental health slowly deteriorate isn't good, It gets to the point where they are no longer themselves and you kind of start wishing they would pass on to end their misery.
As much as I find it hard to quote this, it is so very accurate indeed. I found it strangely easier to cope with the passing as it had been such a gradual decline in both physical and mental health. I found myself almost prepared for it, I had been through it in my head endless times. No less harrowing but I imagine much easier than a situation whereby a loved one is given a short period to live after a terminal diagnosis for example.DuncB7 said:
As much as I find it hard to quote this, it is so very accurate indeed. I found it strangely easier to cope with the passing as it had been such a gradual decline in both physical and mental health. I found myself almost prepared for it, I had been through it in my head endless times. No less harrowing but I imagine much easier than a situation whereby a loved one is given a short period to live after a terminal diagnosis for example.
My OH's best friend cares for her mum and it is a constant battle for her to juggle with having a job as wellWhen we lost my Mother in Law in August (10 days from diagnosis of cancer to losing her) she actually said that she was jealous of the fact that it was so fast
Out of context that could be taken completely the wrong way but having seen what she has to deal with on a daily basis I can only say that I sympathise with her. I'm sure that my Mother in law would feel the same way about her passing as well
solo2 said:
So far we've not quite progressed to that stage but she is getting confused with some things and reading the wrong thing between the lines.
Just a few weeks back Father Solo2 had to restrain her from going around to someone's house who she thought had been bad mouthing her behind her back. I know this person and she wouldn't do that. It would have been terribly awkward for the whole family had she succeeded as this lady is friends with myself and my parents as well as hers and my children being in the same class at school. We don't even understand why she thought what she did.
Is it possible to talk to this person & let them know about the situation?Just a few weeks back Father Solo2 had to restrain her from going around to someone's house who she thought had been bad mouthing her behind her back. I know this person and she wouldn't do that. It would have been terribly awkward for the whole family had she succeeded as this lady is friends with myself and my parents as well as hers and my children being in the same class at school. We don't even understand why she thought what she did.
solo2 said:
I've been in a state of denial for a while thinking the diagnosis was wrong but I have to face facts now that is isn't.
That's understandable.Regarding end of life care, or a DNR it's never too early to discuss it
Broaching the DnR with my Dad this morning as something we really ought to talk about sooner than later, and I hated and made a right mess of saying it to him as I really didn't want to.
Seems it's already been covered in the PoA that neither wish to should the event occur.
I feel happier and sadder if that makes sense.
Seems it's already been covered in the PoA that neither wish to should the event occur.
I feel happier and sadder if that makes sense.
solo2 said:
Broaching the DnR with my Dad this morning as something we really ought to talk about sooner than later, and I hated and made a right mess of saying it to him as I really didn't want to.
Seems it's already been covered in the PoA that neither wish to should the event occur.
I feel happier and sadder if that makes sense.
it;s a sSeems it's already been covered in the PoA that neither wish to should the event occur.
I feel happier and sadder if that makes sense.
t conversation to have at the best of times, even if you are a pro and have had the conversation hundreds of times with patients / families ... it was bad enough before the Fail etc started their bulls
t aobut End of life care pathways ... solo2 said:
Broaching the DnR with my Dad this morning as something we really ought to talk about sooner than later, and I hated and made a right mess of saying it to him as I really didn't want to.
Seems it's already been covered in the PoA that neither wish to should the event occur.
I feel happier and sadder if that makes sense.
Makes sense to me, once it's no longer your call, it's a little easier. When a loved one passes there are mixed feelings.Seems it's already been covered in the PoA that neither wish to should the event occur.
I feel happier and sadder if that makes sense.
My g/f's mum has it.
We look after her one day every week to give her dad a day off.
You spend most of your time comforting her and generally keeping her chilled out.
Find out what her favourite music is. It will become invaluable later.
Get used to the idea that you will have to start lying to her. Little white ones and black ones.
They will be needed to avoid difficulties and keep things smooth. She won't know any better and it will help you but it is hard at first.
Her vocabulary is likely to shrink and general words like 'things' will replace many words. It does mean that often you will not know what she is talking about and Hmming and nodding your head will be needed. It is quite surprising though how often you can get the gist of what they are trying to say.
This thread may help.
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
We look after her one day every week to give her dad a day off.
You spend most of your time comforting her and generally keeping her chilled out.
Find out what her favourite music is. It will become invaluable later.
Get used to the idea that you will have to start lying to her. Little white ones and black ones.
They will be needed to avoid difficulties and keep things smooth. She won't know any better and it will help you but it is hard at first.
Her vocabulary is likely to shrink and general words like 'things' will replace many words. It does mean that often you will not know what she is talking about and Hmming and nodding your head will be needed. It is quite surprising though how often you can get the gist of what they are trying to say.
This thread may help.
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
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