Dear John Kettley,
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Discussion

thekirbyfake

Original Poster:

6,232 posts

258 months

Monday 21st February 2005
quotequote all
John Kettley
BBC House
Shepherds Bush
London
NW1 8TQ


19th February 2005

Dear Mr Kettley,

I have heard on the meteorological grapevine that snow is on the horizon. I’m not sure whether you are aware of the fine web site www.pistonheads.com but some of the members have arranged a day out due to take place tomorrow.

These days out, or “meets” as they are known, have a large array of fine automotive machinery on display. Most of these cars have powerful engines driving the rear wheels and many of them will be convertibles. Should the snow materialise around the Virginia Waters area of England then the majority will not turn up since tarmac adhesion and dry clothing are prerequisites for a successful meet.

Therefore I am enquiring as to whether you or any of your climate chums could see it your way to organise a 24hr postponement of snow, sleet, rain or any variety of precipitation for that matter.

Kind Regards,

thekirbyfake

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

278 months

Monday 21st February 2005
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Wrong man....write to Michael Meacher.

You know it makes sense...............

shirepro

11,838 posts

258 months

Monday 21st February 2005
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Dear Mr Fake

Thanks you for your letter concerning this 'meet'. Mr Ketley has asked me to reply as he is currently in Barbados.

He wishes to point out that all forecasts are actually written by a team of highly trained chimps, randomly banging keyboards that place symbols and charts, predict temperatures and show wind direction. The chances of the snow actually materialising are very remote.

His advice is that all your pissedinthehead friends get proper vehicular transport, such as the BBC limo that picks him up for work every morning. As the weather doesn't impact his lifestyle or that of anyone else living in Islington, he suggests that in future you direct all letters to the London 2012 bid committee who can guarantee fine roads and fine weather up to 7 years in advance.

JonRB

79,392 posts

295 months

Monday 21st February 2005
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"John Kettley is a weatherman,
A weatherman, a weatherman,
John Kettley is a weatherman,
And so is Michael Fish."

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

278 months

Monday 21st February 2005
quotequote all
So what does that make James Whale....?