It's tough to grow up, it's tough to grow old... Any tips?
Discussion
At first, a disclaimer - I'm 34, so still young by modern standards. I also have a beautifull wife and lovely 7 months old daughter, so I can't complain. But today I felt like an old man.
I'm a sports shooter on a semi-pro level. Not an Olympian, but used to win everything locally, and compete at national level. Since my daughter was born I had less and less time, so my training sessions become shorter and less frequent but I still managed some decent scores. Today I finally failed miserably, kids half my age beat me by a huge margin. It hurt. People actually pitied me.
I also used to autocross, winning at national level up to 2 years ago when my wife got pregnant and we stopped attending the events. I thought about coming back this year, but without seat time (my Miata did <1000 miles total last year) I'm sure it would be a similar story.
I know some people compete for the joy of the game, but I'm not one of them - I play to win, or at least improve. I'm a really bad loser. What should I do? Quit everything and become a full time dad & husbend like most of my friends? Try to fight? Change the stuff I do to start with a blank page and enjoy making progress again? I'm sure some of You went through a similar period/situation and I would be greatfull for tips...
Michal
I'm a sports shooter on a semi-pro level. Not an Olympian, but used to win everything locally, and compete at national level. Since my daughter was born I had less and less time, so my training sessions become shorter and less frequent but I still managed some decent scores. Today I finally failed miserably, kids half my age beat me by a huge margin. It hurt. People actually pitied me.
I also used to autocross, winning at national level up to 2 years ago when my wife got pregnant and we stopped attending the events. I thought about coming back this year, but without seat time (my Miata did <1000 miles total last year) I'm sure it would be a similar story.
I know some people compete for the joy of the game, but I'm not one of them - I play to win, or at least improve. I'm a really bad loser. What should I do? Quit everything and become a full time dad & husbend like most of my friends? Try to fight? Change the stuff I do to start with a blank page and enjoy making progress again? I'm sure some of You went through a similar period/situation and I would be greatfull for tips...
Michal
Wait till you get to 42. Your eyes aren't as good as they were. Your focus and concentration levels slip. Things you used to take for granted that you could do are suddenly really tricky. Your memory goes and your joints start to ache etc etc etc. I wish I was 34 again!!
I agree about the camper comment.
I agree about the camper comment.
It's better to grow old than the alternative 
If you aren't naturally talented at something to beat the competition without large amounts of practice, and it's upsetting you to lose, stop doing it. Find something you can either do without impacting family time, or something you are so talented at that you can wander off for a Saturday afternoon without having to practice.
If you aren't naturally talented at something to beat the competition without large amounts of practice, and it's upsetting you to lose, stop doing it. Find something you can either do without impacting family time, or something you are so talented at that you can wander off for a Saturday afternoon without having to practice.
My advice would be to practice at something you can be good at...
Like moaning about your life.
Seriously OP, no sympathy. You've got it good so stop whining. Learn to enjoy the hobby rather than only enjoying being the best at it.
It's like when I go to the gym... I'm never going to be the strongest or the fastest but I enjoy picking things up and putting them down again.
Like moaning about your life.
Seriously OP, no sympathy. You've got it good so stop whining. Learn to enjoy the hobby rather than only enjoying being the best at it.
It's like when I go to the gym... I'm never going to be the strongest or the fastest but I enjoy picking things up and putting them down again.
And not only when getting up out of a chair.Basically OP, you can write off doing pretty much anything you want to do for the next 20 years until the kids have turned 18 and f
ked off to university or rented accommodation and got jobs. The next 20 years are essentially dead years in which you plough all your disposable income into paying down a mortgage and saving for your kids' education and your pension. Minimal time for your toys, no relaxing holidays, babysitter's surcharge and home by 11 PM every time you want to go out to dinner, etc. etc. Your weekends will be taken up with DIY to fix the bigger house you're going to need and taking the kids out because your wife will say 'I've had them all week, it's your turn', and your evenings will be limited to around 2 hours collapsed in front of the TV in between trying to get the blasted kids to bed, having dinner, clearing up and then turning in yourself at 10 because you're knackered.
Chin up and start ticking off the weeks, months and years until retirement. Life begins at 50.
ked off to university or rented accommodation and got jobs. The next 20 years are essentially dead years in which you plough all your disposable income into paying down a mortgage and saving for your kids' education and your pension. Minimal time for your toys, no relaxing holidays, babysitter's surcharge and home by 11 PM every time you want to go out to dinner, etc. etc. Your weekends will be taken up with DIY to fix the bigger house you're going to need and taking the kids out because your wife will say 'I've had them all week, it's your turn', and your evenings will be limited to around 2 hours collapsed in front of the TV in between trying to get the blasted kids to bed, having dinner, clearing up and then turning in yourself at 10 because you're knackered.Chin up and start ticking off the weeks, months and years until retirement. Life begins at 50.
I have every sympathy with the op. I live in an area dominated almost exclusively by bird watchers, moth collectors, caravaners, dog walkers, gardeners and book worms. Were they like this when they were in their 20's and 30's or did they metamorphose into this state of torpor and lower aspirations because they fell victim to society's view of what a 30 year old or a 40 year old or a 50 year old should be and do.
Of course you won't be able to achieve things when you're older than what you did in your 20's and 30's. But drop down just a notch. Don't act your age even when you get to 70. Kick ass.
Of course you won't be able to achieve things when you're older than what you did in your 20's and 30's. But drop down just a notch. Don't act your age even when you get to 70. Kick ass.
On my next birthday (January next year) I will be seventy.
|I have and had a wonderful life, still driving my Chimaera and just off to the US (with Mrs Cloggy) next Saturday to the US for 4 weeks.
I am hiring a Mustang convertible to drive in Arizona for a few weeks.
Then in in July Mrs Cloggy and me go to Singapore to a Chinese wedding where my old mate is marring his Chinese girlfriend.
In England I go to the pub every day to have a few pints to see my mates.
We will also take a European trip in September either to Holland or France in the TVR as we do every year.
All I can advice is don't worry about old age but make sure you build up good pension funds.
Life can be a bugger though, two years ago I lost my best friend a month before he reached 65.
So make the most of your life and family and don't worry if you miss a few fking clay pigeons.
|I have and had a wonderful life, still driving my Chimaera and just off to the US (with Mrs Cloggy) next Saturday to the US for 4 weeks.
I am hiring a Mustang convertible to drive in Arizona for a few weeks.
Then in in July Mrs Cloggy and me go to Singapore to a Chinese wedding where my old mate is marring his Chinese girlfriend.
In England I go to the pub every day to have a few pints to see my mates.
We will also take a European trip in September either to Holland or France in the TVR as we do every year.
All I can advice is don't worry about old age but make sure you build up good pension funds.
Life can be a bugger though, two years ago I lost my best friend a month before he reached 65.
So make the most of your life and family and don't worry if you miss a few f
king clay pigeons.cloggy said:
On my next birthday (January next year) I will be seventy.
|I have and had a wonderful life, still driving my Chimaera and just off to the US (with Mrs Cloggy) next Saturday to the US for 4 weeks.
I am hiring a Mustang convertible to drive in Arizona for a few weeks.
Then in in July Mrs Cloggy and me go to Singapore to a Chinese wedding where my old mate is marring his Chinese girlfriend.
In England I go to the pub every day to have a few pints to see my mates.
We will also take a European trip in September either to Holland or France in the TVR as we do every year.
All I can advice is don't worry about old age but make sure you build up good pension funds.
Life can be a bugger though, two years ago I lost my best friend a month before he reached 65.
So make the most of your life and family and don't worry if you miss a few fking clay pigeons.
I hope I'm like this in 30 years!|I have and had a wonderful life, still driving my Chimaera and just off to the US (with Mrs Cloggy) next Saturday to the US for 4 weeks.
I am hiring a Mustang convertible to drive in Arizona for a few weeks.
Then in in July Mrs Cloggy and me go to Singapore to a Chinese wedding where my old mate is marring his Chinese girlfriend.
In England I go to the pub every day to have a few pints to see my mates.
We will also take a European trip in September either to Holland or France in the TVR as we do every year.
All I can advice is don't worry about old age but make sure you build up good pension funds.
Life can be a bugger though, two years ago I lost my best friend a month before he reached 65.
So make the most of your life and family and don't worry if you miss a few f
king clay pigeons.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff